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First of all, my dad is what in our society (im from islamabad, pakistan) we'd call "religious". He prays five times a day, fasts, gives zakat, knows widely about the religion, and makes sure we know all of that. The part where he strays is that he believes my mom likes to show herself off, and likes the attention of other men. She can't do something as simple as taking a shower and going to work (teaching grade 1 students) the next day, without my dad thinking she's trying impress someone My mom has sacrificed her life for us, compromised for us (im the eldest daughter (17) , and i have three younger brothers (12,9,8)), because four years after the marriage he started showing his true colours. Btw, this was an arranged marriage, so none of that "maybe he feels like she'll love someone else". He's just an insecure man, with anger issues, who has never blamed himself for anything or openly apologised for the big arguments HE causes (not in the time ive been alive and been able to understand), thinks he knows best and there is no one better than him, doesn't have ANY real friends, and the one he does have, he constantlysays [Edited Out] about him to my mom, and then goes and places his world to the feet of this friend (btw this friend isnt alll that amazing either, but least he isnt a [Edited Out] bag like my dad( believe me i know)). when i was younger he used to physically abuse and hurt my mom, and he used to hit me too. he even went to saying that I also have a boyfriend when all i did was go upstairs to get a book (apparently there was some guy at the balcony opposite to our house, and i was " trying to communicate with him". i didnt take this lightly and raised voice and finger and started hitting me and dragged me down the stairs, and just like my nine year old self, i wanted to die and just kept repeating ' should have jusy killed me you ass' (this was two years ago). we had video camerasn around the house so mom opened them up, and showed i had done no such thing. he didnt apologise, he didnt even do anything to show remorse, instead justified everything from thefact that a raised my voise and held my finger up. a year ago, i was upset with him for another reason, and i told my mom. i told her to leave it that it was whatever, ill get over it. but she bought it up, and we got into an argument, and i do admit i shouldnt have misbehaved again (only verbally like raising my voice or rolling my eyes) but he got so aggressive and tried to slap me so i stopped him and threw his hand away,,, he went to the kitchen and got a knife , and all i could think agout was my mom cause she was trying to stop him and he kept saying "THIS IS WHY YOU SEE FATHERS KILLING THEIR DAUGHTERs ON THE NEWS" and "YOUVE TAAUGHT THEM NOTNHING YOUNSELFISH, USELESS, (swear word, more swear words, swearing at her family)". a couple a days ago, hes started fighting with her again even though its my international exams that make up my grade for my university. in the morning i woke up to my mom begging him to just stop cause he kept saying "i know what you do, i know your actions, i know your disgusting behaviour" (btw we know that this craziness is over once he just starts getting , ok? like it just dies down). as a child, id always step in, even get a few slaps if i had to to get in between him hurting her, but ive grown now and know my duties given to me by Allah, about respecting my parents, and getting in between ( my mom also keeps saying its just two more years, you'll be off to uni then and everything will be fine, and ' pls dont waste my sacrifices' everytime i want to interfere (hes threatened stopping me from studying several times). ever since i was small my dad has told me to aim for a scholarship because he knew more abput this stuff, but now i think, would he even let me leave the city let alone country to continue studies? hes rejected going to a psychologist, talking to anybody (he doesnt believe he has a problem, he thinks my moms the problem) about this, he says we make him angry and that before marriage he was never like this ( he has changed a lot in the sense that my mom and i can wear clothes like jeans but only with long shirts (my moms always worn a duppatta over her head (covers her hair)). cant get my dads side involved firstly, theyd love this. secondly, theyre all like this themselves. his sisters do burka andd all but theyre always free to go wherever whenever, meet whoever. they sometimes go ariund with this 'pir' (guy who does black magic) but if we point that out, all hell would brreak loose on us. (his sisters got married to two brothers, so same household). theyre background is from a not even respectable village, so i cant count on them. cant tell my moms side, they already have their own financial and family issues (my mom doesnt want us four to become a drama in our family, whatever that means cause like our house isnt already a drama). sometimes my mom gets so fed up, she says "MAY Allah TAKE ME SO YOU (my dad) CAN HAPPY AND MARRY ANOTHER WIFE" and now hes started saying " may he, so you burn in hell". he says all these other wives are so obedient and nice, but shes not. he says the money my mom brings in holds no value to him, even though she doesnt get to use it, he uses it all, our groceries and school fees are payed with it (oh and he hasnt had a job in years, sells plots and gets profit, but now none of that is working either so the 'no valued' monry shes been bringijng in since 6 years, is all that is coming into our house. hes in the world where Allah has made him the ' man' of this household, however he doesnt fulfill the duties and says my mom is the reason why there are no blessings in her house. he tells her to leaveher job, and says Allah will provide us with the money, that we'll be fine without hers (our fees are cut 75% short because of her, and we get house groceries, petrol for the car, and whatnot from her salary and our rent (which again is none of his own hardwork, our grandfather gave us this house)). i know this is very long, but please help me. ive thought about killing myself from the age of 7 to 14, i even used to self harm thinking if he saw me in the state hes put my mind in the pressure and the mistreatement (moms mistreatement is what gets to me, he doesnt do much to my brothers except for the middle one whom he thought wasnt his and rejected him emotionally for four years and now hes become habitual on scolding him the most, and my brother knows my dad rejects him the most but all he does is get upst over it). ive been so patient these pasts months, but ive had enough. this morning i walked in on them , half sleep, holding everything i could grab (like spray bottles, perfumes, my bloody mascara botle) to throw it at him because it seemed llike he was gonna get physical again. please help me, please please pplease

latmeya in memory death of sayeda fatima al zahraa - 1438 - Artist s.hani alwedaei - Bahrain

Salaam. I am the youngest of four girls, and there's an 11 year gap between me and my sisters - the oldest is in her early thirties and I'm in my early 20s. We all have a different relationship with our mother, but I think I have the most strained one. My mother is known to have anger management problems. She will snap and get mad at anything if she is in a bad mood, and she is a very rushed and anxious person. She even takes medication for this. She's like this with me and my sisters, but especially with me because I've been the only one at home for the past 5-10 years, as all of my sisters are married and have moved away. I hoped this time together would bring us closer (we weren't close before either,) but it hasn't. She takes out most of her frustration on me, and I take my frustrations out on her too. I have been in college the past few years and have been very very stressed. It gets worse when my mom acts harshly, which makes me more likely to take out my frustrations on her too. I feel that my mom doesn't know anything about me as a person, and she doesn't care to know either. When I try to sincerely talk to her, she brushes it off. And when I try to talk to her about the problems in our relationship, she gets mad at me for bringing it up and says that it'll ruin our relationship (I think not communicating will ruin our relationship more.) So our relationship is this: we don't talk much, she is a vey irritable person, I've become irritable too, she doesn't know much about me, and we don't communicate much even though we live under the same roof. I always compare our relationship to her relationship with my sisters, and her relationship with them is 100 times better. It makes me sad, but when I bring that up to her she gets very mad at me for making a comparison between myself and my sisters (though I think she's the one making the comparison in the first place.) Does anyone have advice on how to fix our relationship please? Thank you and Salaam.

Did you ever watch sun rising in the morning? Did you ever see in the night, moon glowing? Did you eve see the milky clouds floating? Did you ever see the beautiful river flowing? If you saw these scenes, then you would understand, the greatness of mother’s place, which is grand, Her Place is on sky levels and not on any sand, So do not underestimate even for a moment, friend, Book from Amazon.com “Outspoken” Collection of Poems By Syed Imon Rizvi

My mom always refers me as her bad son, because I like restaurant food more than home cooked meals.. Every night she calls me and ask me about my plans that where am I going to have lunch; home or restaurant... Is that an inappropriate thing to get your meal from restaurant/hotel?

salaam everyone.. i dont know how to start im just so frustrated :realangery: my mom is a single mother which means she works to keep a roof over our heads (me and my sibilings) but lately its been so hard on us especially my mother she's just so tired of work that we barely get to talk to her im just so sad because i want my mom at home all the time like a mom is supposed to be but she has to pay all the bills so that means she works alot and i just want to take all that weight off her shoulders and not have to worry about bills or groceries or ANYTHNG!!! its to the point where i just sit and think WHY?? why us ?!! ... i just dont know what to do :cry: .. im sorry if im being annoying or anything like that i just needed someone to talk to. well anyways thanks for reading salaam