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Found 24 results

  1. I was just doing research, and discovered the Zahiri Sunni say masturbation is halal. The shia use the verse that says "And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or that their right hands possess, – for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." But don’t we own ourselves? Are ourselves included in what our “right hands possess”? Doesn’t guarding our chastity EXCLUDE wives, concubines, and ourselves? I will appreciate every answer
  2. Salam I'd like to get an opionion if it's the norm that a husband chooses to masturbate and watch porn as it makes him feel good. Why he chooses to do this if he's married ? He is aware it's haram but doesn't think it hurts anyone so not a problem doing it. I'd like to know do alot of men who are married do this ? Is this something that is happening in marriages that is widespread and noone talks about it? Does the man have the right to do this if for what ever reason his wife does not give him what he needs when he needs it? Or is it still wrong ? Has a wife got the right to ask him to stop this behaviour ? And if he does not, what can she do? Thank you
  3. Salam Alaykom, I’m a guy that grew up in the west like many others and I want to post this because I feel there’s a need for all of us to discuss this topic since a majority of us (male and female) are suffering from this disease and there’s a small amount of solutions being discussed. At the end I will state some points that helped me through this so scroll down if u don’t want to know my personal experience (and forgive me if I’m a bit too explicit (unintentionally of course)). I got to know about self stimulation in elementary school. It was part of our education when I was 11 years old and they told us to explore it. I came to realize it’s against islam way too late, at age 13/14 when I became a but more conscious about what’s halal and what’s haram. I tried to normalize it because I knew all my friends did it too and lies like “it’s healthy” and halal (it’s not). And again, I learned the “halal” lie through school. They gave us a website to learn about these topics and there was a section for muslims where it was claimed to be halal according to some random (and probably liberal) “scholars”. I continued like this until my grandfather passed away when everything in my life switched at age 14/15. He was the first close person in my life to pass away and I became aware about death etc. I started to contemplate and I started to hate my bad habits (be it listening to music or the secret habit). I changed myself but I couldn’t change the secret habit. I became addicted and I started hating myself every time it occurred. There were many attempts to stop. I tried a method of scheduling it where I tried to do it less a week and then less a month etc but that didn’t help since your nafs would make excuses such as “what do two days matter” etc. I tried stopping at once and I hit 40+ days twice and came back. This continued until last ramadan. What happened now was that I (unintentionally?) focused on purifying my soul rather than stopping a bad habit. I was sick of the idea of praying 5 times a day to The Creator of the heavens and the earths and disobeying Him every couple days. Whenever I was alone with my thoughts I would do istighfar and whenever I had an urge to do it I would continuously say “Allahu akbar min nafsi” “God is greater than my self” which is a logical thing but it meant a lot to me personally. It reminded that my nafs wanted something which Allah didn’t want. And that Allah is the one to be obeyed rather than my nafs. I did this along with reading duaa tawassol and asking Allah to help me in this battle against my desires. The last reset of the “streak” was one week before Ramadan. I felt really disgusted by the fact that Ramadan was around the corner and I was committing more sins. Ramadan helped me to grow spiritually. Ramadan is a breeze that lifts a leaf and our sins are stones. If there’s a stone on the leaf the breeze will not lift it. So we first need to remove the stone in order to be lifted by the breeze. I cut the habit and did sincere tawba and had yaqeen Allah will help me. I’m now confident that I quit the habit. It’s been 138 days and I don’t struggle with having control over my desires anymore. I wanted to be helpful for others that might be struggling with this and I will write down the steps you need to take in order to win this battle. Step 1: Realize why your doing this and realize how bad this is on your soul and you mentality. Realize that there are many non believers that cut this habit too without spiritual help and that you, with Allah on your side will be able to do just the same. Step 2: Now that you’ve realized who you’ve been disobeying ask for forgiveness. Repent and go back to Allah. Be genuine and talk to Him. You can talk in your own language and tell Allah how much you want to change and that you need His help since He is the one capable of saying “be and it is”. Step 3: Whenever you’re free with your thoughts (so whenever you don’t need to focus on something like while studying), for example while driving or while working. Do istighfar even if you can specify a sin to do istighfar for or contemplate on your soul and your sins. Don’t let your mind wander far away because our fantasy can be traitorous and you sometimes don’t have control over it. Step 4: Whenever you’re in the dangerous haram mood say things like God is greater than my desires or God is greater than me or just Allahu akbar and control your breathing to lower your heart rate. (Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds and repeat until your heart rate is normal). Step 5: Talk with a close spiritual friend about this. We’re all struggling with this so if you have a friend that could motivate and remind you if this when ur in the dangerous haram mood just text him or her provided that the other person is from the same gender of course. Step 6: Fast. This really helps and I know we can’t fast every day. The reason why this helps is because: - Because of the fasting you’re tired and don’t have energy for it - While fasting you’re constantly being reminded of Allah - Fasting gives you a discipline boost. (If you can stay away from the most essential things of life, food, then you can stay away from anything and everything) - If you experience the dangerous haram mood the chance of acting on it would be normal than lower since it would break the fast and most of us don’t think it’s worth it to do that after 10 hours of fasting for example. What I would recommend is to fast how often you can. If you’re able to fast for 40 days straight then do it. If you cant then take the amount of days between every time you do the bad act and make it the amount of days between every time you fast. So if you do it twice a week, then fast twice a week on the days you would’ve done it (or a couple days more to be sure). Step 7: Realize that you will never be safe until you marry. You cannot win this battle as in you can never stop your desires (the thoughts). You can however stop acting on the desires but you will be battling constantly until marriage so start thinking about marrying and do it as soon as you’re able to and as soon as you’re ready. I want to clarify that yes, it’s hard to get married in this day and age in the years that you need it but realize that marriage alone isn’t the solution. There are many men that continued this habit even after marriage so I would recommend stopping this habit before marriage (if you’re able to, if the reason of this habit is you not being married then it’s obligatory for you to marry). I hope this will he useful for anyone and let me know what you guys did to overcome it. WS
  4. Asalamu aleykum my brothers and sisters I want to ask help for this bad problem? I feel me very ashamed about this ASTAGHFIRULLAH and i want to finally leave it! Its a sin which follows me since my childhood and its masturbation. Maybe some will be shocked and I also read in a Hadiths that mastubation is a way to hell. I love Allah, the Quran and the Ahlul Bayt and i dont want to disapointed them with this, because i want also take responsibility when i want to marry a future wive, to be muslim father/husband and the masturbation destroys me physically and mentally and its need to stop. I even started to not do it for 2 weeks but it came back automatically in some pornography websites when something give me a influence like social media or even not from social media. I tried often not to use electronic things like smartphones or computer, but its impossible because i need to connect with people when its really important. I hope you can help me in some way, and please make Dua for me to stop it. Wa salam
  5. Hi all, I've many questions which I'd like to ask in this thread, please bear with me and I'd kindly ask you, please please please, try not to judge me as much. Before I get started, I'd like to let you know I'm a 14 year old boy who has fallen DEEP into committing the sin of masturbation. I'm not trying to return back to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and I'd like some advice and I had some questions. Firstly, I'd like to know how I can quit of doing this sin. It's become very extreme, even to the point where I'm doing it even when I'm fasting in the holy month of ramadan. I've tried many ways, different techniques, but to no avail, I could barely go up to a week without pornography and/or masturbation. Furthermore, I follow sistani as my marja' so please when answering try to show as much proof. Secondly, I had 2 questions. Regarding the masturbation that I did in ramadan and while I was fasting during daylight hours, no ejaculation has happened and when masturbating, I had no intention of ejaculation. This actually happened, so does that mean I have to do qaza fasts AND kafarah, or only qaza fast or even none of the above? Thirdly, my other question is this. Because I used to masturbate before, I tried to keep in the ejaculation and most of the times it happened. I was also ignorant at the time, and I just searched my questions and based rulings and my sins and etc of a sunni basis. According to them, if no ejaculation happens, ghusl is not required and only wudhu would suffice, I'd like to know if it's the same for Shia islam too or would you have to do ghusl even when no ejaculation took place? I'll be looking forward to your answers, please please please, once again, try not to judge me, I'm already disappointed and embarrassed enough. Thanks.
  6. Asalamalekum, Currently i am living away from my wife due to her visa issues, and involved in long distance relationship. We speak with each other on skype and phone, my problem is of that of all men who are facing similar issue like men. I fail to control my urges, once i chat with my wife and masturbate. When i wasn't married, i would control myself long periods of time and not masturbate, but after marriage it is even harder. Because i am chatting with my wife and the urges naturally kicks in. I understand that for a bachelor it is haram to masturbate because he would imagine other women to masturbate to. But i simply don't understand the logic behind, even if a man thinks of his wife in extreme circumstances and masturbate? In quran it is mention, "we should guard our private parts except from our spouse" but it doesn't clearly says a lot into masturbation when a man is thinking of his wife?
  7. Salam. This topic was posted a while ago. This is a paper I co wrote with Br. Basim Ali and Sis Bint Al Hoda (no longer active on the site). It was originally shared as a google doc. It is now shared with 253 people, I guess that's the max google will allow. I have placed in my google drive as a public document, so we no longer have the 'request access' limit. I will post this document periodically as people request access to it. I guess there is a lot of interest in this topic. Enjoy ? https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JDUJ0Oj3VhWSqoAULydoSPgb627bLNSsO4_KiyeTUGI/edit?usp=sharing
  8. assalamu alikum. How do you deal with sexual frustration when masturbating is haram? (Female,18) I really like this boy, my age. And this isn't one of those silly crushes where you have feelings for someone and that's about it. Obviously I've always had those, but I'd never think much of them because they're just feelings and not people I'd want to be with. But now, with the boy, he's the first person I actually like and feel this way about. He's religious and his personality is great, it's not even so much his appearance that attracts me. We don't do/speak in any way is haram. Sometimes we message and when we see each other in person usually someone is around (i.e. my brother or mom, because he's a family friend). I get really intense feelings and heavy breathing. It's not as easy as just not thinking about him. I tried to reach tv to get my mind off him but I find myself out of focus from the tv show. Istaghfir Allah, I go out of focus in prayer too. And it's not like marriage is an option. I'm going to college as is he, and our parents definitely won't let us get married unless he's financially stable. I just don't know why masturbation would be haram? I know Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى Knows Best (i.e. it could be addicting or lead to haram things) but at the same time what is someone supposed to do when so sexually frustrated, when it's affecting my day to day life? Please be open minded when answering Thank you and wa salam
  9. Salam alaikum, I know masturbation is haraam but im very addicited to it and i dont know how to stop, I always try to stop but the maximum is that i wont do it for a week or two but will start again. This stops me from praying as you cant perfom salah in the state janabah. Is there anyone who could help me, Im really disappointed with myself ? Can i pray even in the state of janabah (as im not able to perfom ghusl all time ) please please help mee im really worried please help me break this habit.
  10. Salam Alaykum. I have lost all hope in myself and have therefore come here for help. A little over a year ago a friend introduced me to pornography and masturbating. I haven't spoken to this friend ever since and have completely blocked him out of my life, but it has been difficult to refrain doing this sin. Everytime I masturbate i cry and seek for forgiveness from Allah, but i have read the Hadith which says "repeatedly committing a sin and asking for forgiveness from Allah is like mocking Allah." (Imam Reza as) I don't want to mock Allah because I really love him and I have noticed that ever since I have committed this great sin, calamities and hardships in my life have been increasing. I have lost hope in myself because every time i stay away from the sin for like 2 weeks, Shaytan always gets me. Afterwards I feel really bad and i have tried so many times to stay away from this but it is of no use. You guys are now my only resort I have left. Can you please suggest something to keep away from the sin and stop doing it forever? I have tried fasting but that doesn't work? *Also plz dont suggest something like marriage or muttah marriage as i am only 14 and i don't want anyone to know about this sin even my parents*
  11. Hello. I'm a woman in my mid 20's. I haven't told anyone this, but when I was around the age of 9 I somehow came across masturbation by myself, like it just happened, and I continued to occasionally do it as the years went on. I honestly didn't know what it was I was doing until I became a teenager. It wasn't until 2 years ago where I was on ayatollah sistani's website, that I learned that masturbation was haram in Islam and that it requires ghusl jinabat. I have been fasting and doing my prayers since the age of 9, but because I did not do ghusl, would that mean I have to make up all those years worth of fasts and prayers from the age of 9, even though I did not know what I was doing was haram and that I needed to do ghusl? What do I need to do? Thanks for your help
  12. (salam) *As a disclaimer, I would humbly request that sisters not comment on this thread. It is kindly appreciated. As we know, Internet Porn has became a menace in the lives of many brothers who are struggling with this highly self-destructive addiction. As we all know masturbation is haram, but it seems the reason why it has become such a huge problem today (not only in our community but all over the world) is due to the availability of Internet Pornography. I highly recommend you watch this video: [removed] Some of the symptoms porn addicts experience: copulatory impotence (can get it up for porn, but not partners)growing erectile dysfunction, even with extreme porn.frequent masturbation, little satisfaction ("feeling like a lust-ball all day")morphing porn tastes that don't match sexual orientation (HOCD)severe, worsening social anxietyfatigue, irritabilitylack of motivation, depression, anxiety,inability to concentrate, brain fogdistress about escalation to more extreme pornAs you can see more and more is coming out about how destructive this disease has become among young men. I highly recommend the site of the person in the video above who not only helps people understand the science behind this addiction but also gives incredible tips and advice on how to stop it: http://yourbrainonporn.com Some of the things you can start immediately (as said in the video): 1. Quit. And I mean QUIT as in Cold Turkey QUIT. Meaning don't touch yourself, don't watch porn, nothing! If you are having trouble doing this, fast for a few days. Often while you fast you know you can't simply masturbate as this would break it. It's a wonderful tool to keep you discipline. After opening your fast occupy yourself. Do not touch your computer unless you need to for school or work (only if you MUST, otherwise stay away). 2. Socialize with other people. I would recommend people who are a positive influence in your life and are observant muslims as well (since they won't be speaking of sex as much). If you are a loner go make friends even if you are nervous about it, Alhamdullilah it's not gay for Muslim men to exchange numbers and hang out! Get a few guys you may know from your masjid do activities together. 3. Exercise. Doesn't mean you have to do bodybuilding. It could be as simple as going out for jogs or talking walks everyday. What this does is helps you get a positive release of dopamine. It makes you feel good but with good consequences instead of bad. 4. Meditation. Now my guess is he is talking about meditation where you sit down, empty your mind and do breathing exercises with your eyes closed. This has been said to do wonders for many people and helps you clear your mind, stay focused and disciplined. 5. Stay away from the computer (when you don't need it for work or school). Lets face it, in this day in age the Internet is everywhere. So is access to the DIRT we are trying to stay away from. If you don't need to use your computer DO NOT USE IT. Stay away from Facebook, Twitter or whatever the hell is popular nowadays. Those tools aren't good either because they can become bad addictions as well. And we all have seen the pictures some of the girls put on (ladies, yes men are clicking on you so be careful of the type of pictures you post up or give access to). Interact with people in REAL LIFE. DELETE Facebook. If you have it because you need to stay in touch from time to time then do so but only rarely. And by rarely I mean maybe once or twice a month for maybe 10 minutes at a time. Only use it while at work or school. If you have homework do it in front of your family/friends. DO NOT take your computer into privacy of your bedroom. Also remember the sites you visit can probably be seen by "others". The Internet is not a private place anymore so remember there are people who PROBABLY can find out what sites you're visiting. You don't want to give Agent Smith a reason to blackmail you because you clicked on "Midget MILF's in Space" that one time (no don't Google that dummy). If you are addicted, it will take time. You WILL go through withdrawal symptoms just like a crack addict. It may very well take a few months. DO NOT QUIT. You will be normal again! The younger you are the longer it might take, but the rewards are even greater due to your much raging hormones. Zeus will tremble before your might. Your mind craves the dopamine release from Porn and Masturbation, it has become a spoiled child. Don't give it what it want's because like a spoiled child it will make you do things for it till you go broke. While the above site mostly speak about Porn addiction, remember masturbation goes hand in hand (no pun intended) with it. Even if you are sober for a few months the urge to release will come from time to time. STAY AWAY. Not only is masturbation haram, it will make you relapse because now the brain will seek more of that dopamine it used to get from porn. Your brain will play mind games with you because it is a jerk. It will try to trick you into watching porn again, it's like the really bad friend you once (still?) had who thought running in front of cars at night is fun. Yes, I also understand men NEED release. And Alhamdullilah nature has a way of doing this. It's called nocturnal emissions. Some of you might experience this once in a while, others might get it every other day. Sometimes this may feel embarrassing if you don't have as much privacy on the way from the bed to the bathroom. Worried others might see it and wonder? Screw them. Be a G. Show the world what a manly man you are. Your parents will be proud they made such stud. And last but not least, inshAllah by the end you will be a testosterone-fueled chest beating caveman. You'll be more confident and eager to speak to the opposite sex because your body now knows what it wanted all this time. You'll be doing stuff away from your computer, actually doing things that matter. Maybe you'll write that epic novel. Maybe you'll be a hulking natural bodybuilder/MMA badass. Maybe you'll be so productive you actually discover the cure for cancer/AIDS/Richard Simmons. Whatever your interests are, you will be a much more productive and happy individual. The Hulk was a scrawny addict who stayed in his mom's basement until he stopped. Now quit and make God, yourself and dozens of beautiful supermodel mutah-wives proud (or marry a good religious girl you really like). InshAllah may Allah help rid our community and the dunya of habits that destroy us as individuals.
  13. Salam, Mut'ah marriages (Islamic "pleasure" marriages) are wajib (obligatory) for most Shia Muslim youth who attend undergraduate college in the West. This is because most Muslim youth in such situations will be sexually frustrated unless they relieve themselves in three ways: masturbation, permanent marriage, or mut'ah. The first way is haram, the second way is highly impractical and unfeasible for most such youth in their freshman/sophomore/junior years of college (of course it shouldn't be this way, but unfortunately this is the way things often are and we should now see what a youth should do if permanent marriage in these years is indeed not possible for him - while we should also try to change the way society is, but that takes time, so what should youth do right now?), and therefore the third way is the only way a youth must take nowadays. Considering that most Muslim youth have normal youthful human libidos, most of them cannot survive years of time without sexual release. It would be seriously delusional to think otherwise. Most normal, healthy, normal-libido-possessing youth cannot go for years without neither masturbation nor sex. Heck, I don't think even an adult can go that long. Of course there will be the rare and exceptional cases where a youth either has no libido or possesses extreme self-control (which may be superhuman or even unhealthy), but for the most part, youth generally cannot go for years with absolutely no form of sexual release. And that is why for most youth, mut'ah will not only be mustahab - it will be wajib. If I found a Shia Muslim youth who was in his junior year of college, and he wasn't permanently married, and he hadn't ever done mut'ah in his life either, I think I can be reasonable in my assumption that this guy has been masturbating (committing haram). Of course, Islamically, I shouldn't assume negative things about a fellow Muslim brother, but from a secular/realistic/statistic perspective, such an assumption would not be irrational. It's time that more Shia college boys are encouraged to get girlfriends in college by doing mut'ah. Whoever encourages another Shia Muslim brother to get a girlfriend using mut'ah will have done a very good deed by preventing him from committing haram (masturbation). P.S. I follow Ayatollah Khamenei, and according to him it is obligatory precaution to seek the father's permission when doing mut'ah. But my next-in-line scholar is Ayatollah Mahdi Hadavi Tehrani, and according to him, such permission isn't necessary. So mut'ah is very feasible for me and others who follow these two scholars. There are plenty of Christian and Jewish females in college whom us youth could take as partners.
  14. Concise answer Sin is like a foul-smelling swamp full of sewage; the more one sinks into it, the less he senses its smell, because he actually loses his sense of smell and can't tell that he is drowning anymore. At the same time, anytime one makes a strong decision to return from this swamp, it is considered a victory. One who has decided to fight sin, needs to increase his ambitions for such, so that he can be victorious in the following stages of this struggle. Self-satisfaction which is called masturbation is a cardinal sin and haram and there is a heavy punishment for that. The best way to avoid masturbation is to get married (permanently or temporarily) under special conditions stipulated in religious articles. If marriage is not possible one should avoid masturbation by exercising, fasting, and filling his spare times in order to keep people and society safe from mental, spiritual and physical damages of this action. Masturbation is not permissible under any circumstances. The best way to get rid of masturbation is to take action for marriage. Fasting, studying, taking exercise and thinking about your own personality as a respected human being can help you stay away from sex-related sins. Surely, you should also stay away from sexually exciting and provocative things or going to such places where you might be aroused sexually. By doing so, you save yourself from physical and spiritual harms of masturbation. Detailed Answer Sin is like a foul-smelling swamp full of sewage; the more one sinks into it, the less he senses its smell, because he actually loses his sense of smell and can't tell that he is drowning anymore. At the same time, anytime one makes a strong decision to return from this swamp, it is considered a victory. One who has decided to fight sin, needs to increase his ambitions for such, so that he can be victorious in the following stages of this struggle. As for how to increase ambition and motivation and finally keep away from sins, there are some methods that might be useful: 1- Paying attention to the disadvantages and harms of the sin 2- Paying attention to the high value of your own character and personality 3- Paying attention to the magnanimous rank of Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì and that He has to be obeyed 4- Paying attention to the significance of struggling against sin and one’s illegitimate desires as a skill, and the pleasure of winning the struggle against the self or the carnal desires. One of the most important points concerning this matter is for you not to lose hope in Allah’s ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì mercy, and to trust in and ask Him for help. No matter how great the sin may be, one should never lose hope in Allah’s mercy. He should not get frustrated even if he repeatedly breaks his repentance, and he should make up his mind and decide not to commit this sin again. We believe that you will be victorious, with the help of God and His grace. Istimna or self – satisfaction that has been referred to as masturbation in religious and jurisprudential parlance, means doing something to discharge the sperm from the body. This can be done by touching your body, watching sexual scenes (pictures, movies, …) or reading sexual contents and books (stories, novels,…) or listening to sexual materials (tape, telephone conversation,…) or thinking about sexual matters in order to discharge the sperms. In either ways, this is haram and considered as a major sin.[1] The best way to avoid masturbation and self – satisfaction is legal marriage (permanently or temporarily) under special conditions stipulated in practical article. If marriage is not possible, one can use the following recommendations while trusting in God and consigning his matters to Him: 1 – Decide firmly to avoid masturbation 2 – Avoid watching any type of pictures and movies sexual in nature. 3 – Be careful when you choose your friend. Do not choose the type of people who enforce you to do this. Also, avoid making friend illegally with opposite sex. 4 – Avoid dreaming and try to make yourself busy with good things such as reading books (non-sexual ones), heavy exercise, etc. Moreover, remember that idleness can lead you to anything. 5 – If possible, try not to be alone anywhere. 6 – Fasting can be quite helpful in controlling your internal desires and strengthening your will. If you cannot fast, do not eat a lot or at least do not over load your stomach when you want to sleep. 7 – Do not eat food items, which are sexually arousing like banana, chocolate, fig, date, onion, pepper, egg, red meat, oily foods, etc. 8 – Keep your urinary bladder empty at all times. 9 – Read some books before going to sleep at night and never sleep on your front or stomach. The conclusion is that masturbation is not permissible under any circumstances. You should take action for marriage. Fasting, studying, taking exercise and thinking about your own personality as a respected human being can help you stay away from sexual sins. Keep in touch with faithful and practicing Muslims. Surely, you should also stay away from sexually exciting and provocative things or going to such places where you might be excited sexually. If you put these into practice, you will succeed in guarding yourself against the evil of sin. [1] This sin has been considered as being tantamount to adultery. See: Wasail al-Shi’ah, vol.20, p. 352. http://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/question/fa1083
  15. Salam I have a Question, that is why I am writing this post. Is Masturbation and Sex with other Girl same SIN in Islam ? I know both are sin but I'm asking about priority of sin. Which one is bigger, smaller or equal ? Thanks in Advance.
  16. Salamalekum, I see a lot of people here giving advice to youths, if they are unable to do nikah temporarily or permanent than to do fasting. So i would like to ask those people that are giving such advices to someone to practice fasting in order to control their desires. That have you yourself practice this method, if so for how long. I am not talking about for couple of days, but i want to know if you tried fasting for long periods of time like months and years, until you were able to get married. Therefore, if you have practice this technique, can you please tell me how was your experience and are you still fasting?
  17. Hello. I need some advice in dealing with long distance relationship with my wife. The thing is that, currently i am waiting for my wife visa approval. During this time we talk on phone for hours, which i have no problem with, because my job allows me to speak to my wife when i am there. The problem arises, when i am off two days and at home. During this time i feel like getting intimate with her, and i want a release my desires through masturbation. Which is haram act, and i feel guilty afterwards, so should i make a excuse, so i dont speak to her those two days? Thank You.
  18. Its great that there is increasing awareness of the dangers of porn and grass roots movements like http://www.nofap.com/ that are against it.
  19. If you are having trouble keeping your lust under control then listen to Zealous music which fills your heart with fervour and makes you want to do heroic deeds, this will cause you to day dream about good things and will distract you from Sinning. For example: This music makes you remember Allah and is Zealous so listen to this when you are touched by Satan. Also avoid music which reminds you of women or dancing etc. I don't actually listen to this but they are good, will do from now on, I am just posting some music here which you horny young men can listen to to distract yourselves. Just download the ones you like and listen to them when going out. Then even if you look at girls, nothing will happen. Hopefully. It's good but I don't see why they have to write "Enghelabi" even in writing Lol.
  20. Salmaalekum, I would like to know why can't a fatwa be passed specially for youths living in the west. So it can help ease and alleviate the suffering, and guilt that is attached to masturbating? Millions of young man and woman who can't get married at a young age for various reasons specially "education", are indulge in this act not by choice, but it is inescapable for young healthy adult to shut off his/her desire completely until marriage. Or control it by fasting etc. for a long period of time! My story I have tried every tactics there are in the book in order to stop masturbation. And when i say i "tried" let me tell you, i have been through hell! So, it has been now 2 years since i have been fighting this battle, first let me tell you how i was before, when i did not touch upon this topic. "Peace of mind, high confidence, stress free, positive feelings, loved life, studying, going to college, going out, meeting people, going to mosque, etc. Were some of the things i used to do, before i tried stopping masturbation. And now let me tell you what has happened to me while i tried to stop masturbating after i contacted marja/ ayatollah; SEVERELY DEPRESSED FOR TWO YEARS, ANXIETY, STRESS, CONSTANT FEELING OF GUILT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T LIKE TO PRAY, STOP GOING OUT AND SPEAKING TO ANYONE, NERVOUSNESS, QUIT COLLEGE etc. I know that it is my fault, that i went so deeper into this topic in order to stop masturbation . But it was only to please Allah and remove that burden off my chest, but i still failed. Plus getting the advice from marja did not help my suffering, as it just kept pushing me deeper in to the hole i was already in. Lastly, i would like to know what you guys opinion on this subject, i know that i am not the only one who has been consumed by this matter. And i did many researched and found out many such stories like mine. Where the youth had gone far as trying to end his life, from the suffering. At the moment i have just accepted my self, which has given me confidence, and peace of mind! Ali
  21. Assalam alaikum. Hey everyone, I know that you all are sick and tired of the same topic of masturbation raised everytime, and truth be told, so am I. Yet, here I am, raising that same topic again, but from a different perspective. I always see the same thing again and again: Masturbation is haraam, it is unlawful, it causes severe diseases, so on and so forth. Masturbation causes a lot of illnesses; my question: how to cure these diseases once a person has left masturbation. Some people recommend herbal remedies. But where to get them, and which specific disease will they cure? So, someone please reply and tell me what to do to get rid of the weaknesses that follow masturbation. Anything that you have found pratically useful. If you have been a victim yourself and then fully recovered, or if you know someone else who has recovered completely from this, post your answers about the medicines to use.
  22. Disclaimer: This is intended to be a discussion sparked out of plain and simple curiosity and does not reflect my personal views on the subject. :lol: ^ Salams, As the topic asks, just suppose for a moment that masturbation was allowed in uhh.. Islam, would you commit to it?^^^^^^^^ P.S.: Please, no flaming. Do not post silly things, although I know some will. Remember, I am supposed to be a brother in faith so treat me as you wish yourself to be treated.
  23. Hello all, I need some guidance and information with the questions or points i'm going to list. I am part of a Muslim family and always was a Muslim but I was the kind of Muslim that just said he was. I pretended to fast, didn't pray, did forbidden acts (not intercourse), etc. I really don't know what hit me because all of a sudden I just started learning about Islam and praying. It was kind of weird and I still don't know how or why that happened. Anyway I have been learning and "fixing up" since the start of this month but there are issues that I need help with. Prayers - I am trying to remember to pray everyday and I haven't really missed a lot this month but the only one I have a problem with and confused about is morning prayer. I can't wake up and just pray, that's just not possible for me. So I was wondering if I can pray it when ever I just wake up or is it compulsory to wake up to pray. If it is, I know for a fact I ain't getting up and if I somehow I do, I won't be able to sleep again. Certain sights - I see a lot of half naked girls while i'm out and stuff. Do I have to lower my gaze because I have been seeing this stuff since birth and I live in London so it's like looking at a tree to me, if you get what i'm getting at. Secondly, websites like Tumblr. People post pictures of nude girls, is it okay if I see those pictures but just carry on like its nothing? I already do that and it does not influence me to go masturbate or have intercourse with a girl or anything. I'm just use to it. So is it haram do to this or not since it doesn't engage me to do any prohibited act or even go on a pornographic website. Sexual Desire - I considered this normal since everyone did it, encouraged it and talked about it. I don't really know if this is true but apparently it's part of our natural to masturbate. Since intercourse before marriage is forbidden in Islam I ended up doing a search on masturbation and found out it was forbidden too. So I have masturbated since and its been 24 days. Even though I get an urge to do it and I did this act regularly before, like nearly everyday but I am able to just somehow beat the temptation and not do it, never thought I could but I did. What I am asking here is because I stopped this act, would it reduce the chance or even cure my reproductive system (if the problem is in the reproductive system lol) from premature ejaculation? I don't know if I have it but I reached orgasms quickly at times. I'm probably not going to perform any type of sexual act since I have 16 years of education ahead :mellow:. Fail. Haaj - This is part of the five pillars in Islam, I think it is anyway not to sure, but I don't know if I can do this or want to. I mean, going to Saudi Arabia, shaving my head, wearing white robes and paying for the trip seem to cancel out everything even if there are good sides. I mean after i'm done with my education I will be earning quite a lot so money isn't a problem to be honest. But yeah is it compulsory? I did hear that if you can afford the trip and stuff you have to go, i'm not sure if this is true so explaining that would be great. Those are my main things on my head now but if people know of any websites or books (not the quran, already have it) can you please link me to the websites and tell me the books names. There are a lot of websites out there I know but I won't probably be able to tell the difference if its Sunni or Shia. I'm looking for Shia ones. Forgot to say, i'm a 16 years old male. Thanks :shifty:
  24. Salaams, This is my very first post on this forum. I have a problem, before i go further please do not judge me because ive never revealed any of this before. I have been addicted to masturbation and pornography for a very long time now (2 years). I am unmarried and cannot to mutah since i need to ask my fathers permission and i cant exactly go to him and ask him. I've been looking for a husband for a while not but i cant seem to find the right guy. Im 24 years old now. I've tried to fast, stay in the company of others, exercise as it helps with the issue and ive tried to stick to Islam as best i can but i always go back. The most ive ever lasted is 2 months and i always go back to the act. Ive never had a boyfriend as ive tried to stay away from all of that but I really really want to stop this horrible act now, i cant take the shame and knowing that ive hurt Allah (swt) please help me find a solution for this problem as i dont know what else to do now. wasalaam
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