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In the Name of God بسم الله
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I would define myself as aromantic and asexual. Which means that I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction towards women (I am a male). But at the same time, I still do experience libido. It's just not directed at people. I have been having trouble with masturbation and such lately. I have been doing it wayyyy less now and only do it when it feels absolutely unavoidable. But I still have the intense urge to do it from time to time. I feel that my medical condition (bipolar disorder) makes me have the urge to have it do to my moods, as it's almost insatiable at times. But at the same time I limit myself and don't try to over do it. I did try to look for an older person to do mutah with. But the problem with that is (even with younger people) is that I don't feel romantic or sexually attracted enough for them to do sexual things with them. I feel repulsed from having romantic/sexual affection from women, but at the same time, that means I don't have a way to fulfil my sexual needs too. I also realize that a woman might not even do mutah with me, if I can't sexually satisfy her either. Because I'm not interested in doing anything sexual with her at all, which makes it hard for me to find someone that would actually do mutah with me. I have realized why masturbation is not a good thing to do in terms of spirituality. But at the same time I have difficulty not masturbating. Especially with the urges I feel when it comes to my mood disorder, I have difficulty with impulses. I realized that this is the case because I get the urge to masturbate when I'm late taking my medication and I've been awake for some time. I feel that I'm condemned to not having an orgasm, especially since I really don't want to marry. I feel this is really difficult for me, as others can just wait until they're married. But for me, being married, whether mut'ah or permanent isn't a desire I have and it's not feasible for me. Of course I'm not asking for masturbation to be permissible for me, but at the same time this is something I have a hard time avoiding due to my circumstances. I feel like masturbation can cause a drop in spirituality which is why I try avoid it and I only do it when I absolutely cannot avoid it. When I have the urge, it's like I absolutely can't avoid it. I have thankfully limited myself from masturbating way less but it's hard to eliminate it completely. Though, what should I do in my case though? I have trouble not knowing what to do. Usually the hope for some people is that they get married eventually. But I feel that is hard to do in my case. I wonder if I am excused from having sin placed upon me if this is something I genuinely cannot handle myself from not doing. Again, not saying it should be permissible for me and that I should have free reign to do it. But that I wonder if I am excused something akin to like how if a man can't stop flatulating during salah due to medical conditions, he is excused from that. I would appreciate any advice given. I would love to hear about any rulings that talk about masturbation in this sense for those that have disabilities, mental conditions that make it hard to avoid it, and those who cannot marry indefinitely due to a lack of a desire to marry. I would also love to know where I could possibly get a ruling from this other than a scholar saying it's just absolutely haram (which it is, not denying that) and actually give me genuine advice given my situation.
Hello, I used to masturbate before - I held in the semen and then did a wudhu and proceeded to read salah, for the times which ejaculation happened I did a ghusl - I'm unsure if I should read all my namaz as qadha again as I'm unsure if masturbation with no ejaculation invalidates salah that has been done with no ghusl before it - please guide!
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