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Found 332 results

  1. Salam guys, Can someone enlighten me on the caste system? I'm a Syed, Shia girl and want to marry a non syed Shia whos practicing his faith. Unfortunatly I come from the Indo/Pak region and my family is highly respected! If I marry this guy, I will bring shame to the family, and they'll probably kill me for the sake of family honour. I have had this conversation with my father, and he says that, Imam Ali(a.s) was a Syed but his kids from his other wives(aka Hazrat Abbas a.s) were not Syed. So I cant say that Imam Ali a.s got his other daughters married to non syeds. Is their any hadiths and any verses of the Qur'an that clearly state, this is halal?
  2. I came along a post by a brother on this website regarding creating a centralised marriage bureau. This is a wonderful idea and had always been on the back of my mind. I always wanted to contribute to our community and what better project like this that can be useful to a lot of my family memebers and friends. Though it seems like a difficult and expensive project, I still think its doable. I see so many of us youth struggling to find a partner especially Shias living outside their home countries since thre aren’t enough Shias everywhere and I know people ready to marry a Sunni just because they can’t find a good Shia partner. That is like losing a part of our generation to Sunnis. I think if no one from our generation takes an effort to find a solution to this then our next generation will struggle even more and may marry outside the sect and religion. My idea is to create a centralised database of all the eligible people over an app and to get registered on this app you will need to go through your local Islamic center or mosque. This way the people on the app are only verified people. Also, you can keep a small amount of yearly membership fee in order to keep all the non serious people away. This can be a youth marriage organisation with the same name but branches in major cities of the world like London, New York, Toronto, Dubai, Chicago etc etc. Something like ‘who is Hussain’. We can get volunteers to work in different parts of the world to verify the people and give them a green signal to be on the app. Though there’s shiamatch but it is pretty outdated and are a lot of duplicate profiles and people who have already been married but never bothered to deactivate their accounts. With muzmatch the problem is it has mainly Sunnis and very few Shias. I just need some suggestions, feedback and comments on this. What do you think of this idea? How do you think we can go about implementing it? Please don’t bother commenting if your intention is just to criticise the idea however constructive criticism will be appreciated :). Thank you in advance
  3. Salam I'd like to get an opionion if it's the norm that a husband chooses to masturbate and watch porn as it makes him feel good. Why he chooses to do this if he's married ? He is aware it's haram but doesn't think it hurts anyone so not a problem doing it. I'd like to know do alot of men who are married do this ? Is this something that is happening in marriages that is widespread and noone talks about it? Does the man have the right to do this if for what ever reason his wife does not give him what he needs when he needs it? Or is it still wrong ? Has a wife got the right to ask him to stop this behaviour ? And if he does not, what can she do? Thank you
  4. My question is clear and it is in relation to loyalty within marital relationships only.. I will elaborate furthermore in case it’s not understood.. If a man is allowed to marry more than one wife.. how then can he claim to be a loyal person? What can we understand from the Qur'an / Islam in general when it comes to loyalty / faithfulness? I hope my question is clear..
  5. Asalamalaikum. How do I get good marriage proposals, any dua to recite daily, I already recite a few and pray alot and that's causing me alot of stress and Depression as I'm about to turn 25 and still I haven't gotten any good proposal yet , plz pray dear brothers and sisters that I get a good proposal or suggest me any dua, as almost all my friends, cousins are married now and Im just facing alot of difficulties these days.
  6. Salam, I am a very old visitor ShiaChat. This is my very first post here with this ID because of the type of Topic and because of needing help. I have been living overseas for a decade and now moved to Pakistan to make my religion stronger. One thing that is bothering me is the companionship of the opposite sex. I’d like to tell you I am a new convert to Shia from Sunni and my family disowned me and blocked me from family acitivities on that ground, but mashallah say by the grace of Allah, I have a high paying job and so it was easy to move on but feel lonely, left out and often wanders around. I need companionship, love as all of us. I don’t want to indulge in anything wrong such as prostitution or adultery or porn and after much through thinking and trying to be as close to the religion as possible I understand that a Mutah Nikkah or temporary marriage is my only solution. I am desperatly seeking your help and guidance. I am looking for advice on how to find such proposal. Society in Pakistan has become very hyper sexualize to the point that temporary nikkah is the best solution. I have thought about some ways, I thought about giving an ad in the local Newspaper here, but then do not know the legal repercussion that may come with it. I searched online and found only a few posts regarding this that gave me no help, I even approached marriage agencies in Lahore but it like most of them do not even cater to Shia let alone mutahnikkah. Please help and advice. I feel lonely, desperate and often times vulnerable. I do not want to go on the path of Shaitan and carry illicit activities (which has become all too common in Pakistan). Please let me know if you know A) Which local newspaper I should post this ad to B) Which marriage agency will work best for me C) Any family that is in need of such
  7. Al salamu aleikum brothers and sisters, I am male, 19 and live in a western country. Ever since I have become 16 my family father and my grandmother started to try to get me married. Now it hit a new level tho. My family threatened to not let me go to university if I don't get married. I can understand that they are worried about me and that they just want to protect me from sinning, which is a reasonable thing to do. Especially in a western society where all the women are half naked etc. But my problem is that I personally don't feel like I am in a position to marry. I suffer from depression and have been involuntarly hospitalized in the past. But my parents act like it never happened. I also suffer from social anxiety, low self esteem and I also have trust issues. Also I'm not happy with my current life situation and want to make big changes before I consider marriage. (like working out, improving my mental health, earning money and start studying ) But my parents are very stubborn or strict about it. Also it feels kind wierd to just ask for the hand of someone you don't really know. Especially in western society. And yes I do sometimes feel lonely or get certain urges but I have learned to suppress them. Its not about me being against the concept of marriage but rather me not feeling ready for it. I have tried to make this clearer to my parents but to them it's just some random excuse. Can anyone help me with this situation. Anyone have an idea of what to do or to say to my parents. Am I even in the right or should I just oblige to my parents will? I'm really not sure what to do anymore. Thanks in advance <3
  8. am i allowed to do mutah but agree with no intercourse? and can i do this without my fathers permission
  9. اللّهُمّ صَلّ عَلَى مُحَمّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمّدٍ This matter has been bothering me for quite a while, please tell me using accurate references if a marriage between a Muslim woman and Christian/Jew man is HARAM...
  10. Why do people think it’s okay to 1- have a mixed wedding 2- have women wearing makeup in front of non mahrams Is there a Hadith somewhere that says we can commit haram on the day of our weddings? If someone has a reference please share it with me, because I’m not sure how people can call themselves Muslims and still blatantly violate Allah’s command
  11. I feel I'm not ambitious enough about financial growth. I just don't get winded up about it. Even though I need to get settled ASAP, pronto to turn my 3 year old nikkah into a marriage (rukhsati). But even apart from the marriage pre and post expenses. I want to get settled. I just fear the entire job/gig/work searching process and just can't get myself to do it. I see people starting with whatever comes their way and eventually landing some good job. And I just sit and wait for something 'perfect' and 'optimal' to come my way.... . Please suggest some al-Islam pdf content or personal advice for me to get excited about getting financially ambitious and eventually settled.... . I say financially ambitious because otherwise I like to study, keep myself up to date, keep my deen in place...
  12. Asalam aleykum dear brothers and sisters. I have an Islamic question that fits my personal situation. I want to have more information about how to handle my situation. It's as follows: I live in the Netherlands and my wife lives in Pakistan. We've been married for over a year now. In the Netherlands I study and in 2 years I will be finishing my study. Then I can work and get my wife to the Netherlands ( due to my stable income) Each year I visit my wife in the summer during holidays. Then we will also sleep together. But the problem is that her parents don't allow me and her to have intercourse with each other. We are allowed to sleep together but we aren't allowed to have intercourse. I don't know what to do. Because in Islamic point of view having intercourse is legal. It's even illegal to deny sexual feelings for each other while being married. On the other hand having intercourse will be against the will of her parents. Also I will break their trust. I hope you can help me out with this question. Greetings, Jawad
  13. With all the grousing I've been doing on other topics, including ones I promised myself I'd ignore forever ( failed), I felt it was time to balance the universe and say something nice about a Shia for a change. Lol. SG and DD have had little time to themselves since the baby came, what with parenthood, school, and jobs happening. But school is over, jobs are on a break, and the little fellow finally weaned, which means he can be away from his parents for the night. We are watching him because SG made arrangements to take my daughter away for a bit. DD send me some photos. They are in a super-nice hotel up the coast with an ocean view and room service and he's set up a spa time for her along with many other fun activities. He's had the whole room decorated with her favorite flowers and there are even rose petals on the bed. She also sent the photos and info to her sister-in-law and sister-in-law to be. Now my sons are mad at SG for setting the bar so darn high. well, Grandma duty calls...
  14. I've read that you write your own certificate and have it notarized to allow you to preform Hajj or get married. What information must be included to go to mecca and would a name change make so I don't need a certificate. My legal first name means one who worships Jesus and is supposed to be changed anyway. Would taking an Arabic last and first name mean that I wouldn't need a certificate. I want one for my personal records just to commemorate my conversion and don't intend to visit mecca anytime soon so I'm considering leaving the passport number off until I can get a passport witch takes about three months but longer for me because my legal name is going to change it may take a 6 to 8 months before I'll be able to get one. I want the certificate now. should I get one and just replace with an updated version later?
  15. Hello and thank you for accepting me here. I find myself in a different situation for myself and hope that I can find guidance here. I have met a Shia man who has caught my interest (which is very difficult to achieve!). He is funny, intelligent, attractive and patient. The feeling is mutual. we have known each other for quite some time and the feelings are becoming intense. My question is this: is marriage possible between a Shia and a non-Muslim? Please be kind in your response...
  16. Salaam everyone, I was actually wondering about a Shi'a girls stance on marriage. I mean, I was wondering if say a Shi'a girl says her consent to the marriage 3 times to the niqah, but her niyyah isn't for it, meaning she doesn't actually want to get married to this person, does the marriage still count? If she says yes outwardly, but no niyyah inside to say yes, and doesn't want to, but is being forced to say yes? Especially in the case that the girl does not plan to have any "relations" with this person after the forced marriage anyway. Btw, for that, say if the marriage is valid, is it necessary for the girl to do acts of marriage with this person? Or if she doesn't want to she doesn't have to? I would appreciate any rulings or any information that could be found on this. Jazakallah & FiAmanAllah
  17. Salam, dear brothers and sisters in Islam I have recently contracted a temporary marriage with a girl from Ahlul-Kitab (Catholic) she is a virgin girl and I was seeking to inquire if the marriage contract that I have done with her is valid, I hope to not God forbid have this be an invalid contract in which would lead me to disobeying Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) the permission to "date" was granted ( I was told that would be considered عرف) I explained to the girl that there will be a fixed term and I chose one year and also for the dowry I said it was like a gift and instead of providing a specified gift I just gave $20 I am not sure if she remembers that the term was for one year but I did state it clearly to her through text and as for the oath I also explained what it meant in English on text and then in person I told her to repeat after me the words in Arabic in which she complied the words were a bit broken, but understandable. The father of the girl has passed therefore the permission to “date” was given by the mother the girl knows that this is a form of marriage contract in which I stated briefly would protect her rights and honor her If this is not a valid Mutah contract how may I make it as such (the more thorough and concise answer the better) And if this is a valid Mutah contract thank you for clearing my conscience may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant you all the intercession of the Prophets holy progeny I really love this girl and I hope to one day marry her if she is guided to the path of the Ahlul Bayt ((عليه السلام)) she has shown great willingness to debate and discuss religion and has told me if she is shown the truth she would adhere to it therefore I am trying fervently by the grace of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to provide the evidences needed in substantiating Shia Islam and in rebuking any deviated beliefs posed by the Catholics and their traditions respectively Side note: the mother allows us to date and perhaps is knowledgeable over certain intimate acts that may occur in which are known to be evident between “dating teenagers” but by no means would accept or agree to any act of copulation and or most likely oral gratification and the use of the other partners hands to aid the other in reaching ecstatic relief would the use of such means of intimate acts between one another; other then the means of osculation be prohibited for the acts listed above such as oral gratification and the use of the other partners hands, aid in demolishing any deviated acts of self-gratification as the role of a Mutah contract does so evidently and respectfully through the protection of the rights of the female counterpart If this marriage is a valid one would such intimate acts be prohibited and would copulation be allowed or not We are both virgins I am 19 and she is 18 if such acts are prohibited how may I seek to make them permissible and in what way is it deemed fit to do so May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you all and grant you all the intercession of the Ahlul Bayt thank you for reading and aiding this lost soul in maintaining his faith clinging on to the rope of Allah through the aid of such pious and forbearing lovers of the truth
  18. Salam. I’m being forced to have a haram walima. The walima will not be partitioned or segregated and this is a obviously a big issue. I’m the groom and I’m feeling trapped. On the one hand, the right thing to do is not attend but on the other hand I will be cutting off my parents and obviously any family we’ve invited. My wife is on my side obviously but she has decided to be quiet now as she does not want anymore issues. I got into a fight with my parents over this and here I am on the night of qadr feeling like none of my amaal mean anything because I’m upset with them. I’m trying very hard to forgive them but how can I when I’m being forced into a haram situation. It would be one thing if they did something in the past but this is something they’re planning to do. The whole idea of segregating by gender is so “strange” to them since all Pakistani weddings are usually mixed. It’s also about saving face for all the guests. I feel I can’t do anything. How do I cope? Will I be liable on the day of judgment for being part of this? Do I continue to fight this or shut up so my family can have “peace”? I wish I had access to a maulana for this issue but I have to resort to this forum.
  19. Salaam I’m an 18 year old Shi’a Syeda and am looking to get married soon as Islam has encouraged the virtues of marriage and the Ahlul Bayt have emphasised the blessings of marriage especially that at a young age. But I’m a disabled person in a wheelchair and I often wonder if anyone would want to marry a girl like me. Whether I would add anything of value to my husband’s life. Whether Islam has said anything about this? Any advice would be appreciated JazakAllah
  20. Salam. I'll be short. I am a mom of 2 kids and living with my husband and his in-laws. The thing is, I'm not being provided the care (financially, mentally and even physically) that I need as a woman, a wife and a mother. Our kids tuition fees are due for months and my husband hasn't found any job as of yet. I don't want to live him because in my heart, I don't want to leave him in this state but this situation has led me to depression, anxiety and frustration Ever since he stopped showing affection towards me even though I am in my 20s and Allah has blessed me with beauty; I've started to lean towards talking to men (online) because they praise and compliment me (I know it's wrong!). This is why I wish to get a divorce. But, I'm still very much tensed about it. PLEASE HELP!
  21. Salmon Alaykum, I am looking for seminal books on marriage, divorce and child raring in Shia Islam. Recommendations would be highly appreciated. I am also looking for advice in regard to the purchase of Shia books online or offline anywhere in the United Kingdom. Is there a platform like Kindle and Amazon for Shia books? If not is there a place that has a comprehensive selection from which people can purchase books, books like الزواج في القران و السنة للشهيد السيد عز الدين بحر العلوم Thank you in advance for your answers.
  22. I was wondering if a Shia woman can marry a Sunni man and if not why? I don’t want to ask this question to my parents because they will think im having something with a Sunni man. By the way, im with sayed Hussein fadlalah.
  23. First of all, my dad is what in our society (im from islamabad, pakistan) we'd call "religious". He prays five times a day, fasts, gives zakat, knows widely about the religion, and makes sure we know all of that. The part where he strays is that he believes my mom likes to show herself off, and likes the attention of other men. She can't do something as simple as taking a shower and going to work (teaching grade 1 students) the next day, without my dad thinking she's trying impress someone My mom has sacrificed her life for us, compromised for us (im the eldest daughter (17) , and i have three younger brothers (12,9,8)), because four years after the marriage he started showing his true colours. Btw, this was an arranged marriage, so none of that "maybe he feels like she'll love someone else". He's just an insecure man, with anger issues, who has never blamed himself for anything or openly apologised for the big arguments HE causes (not in the time ive been alive and been able to understand), thinks he knows best and there is no one better than him, doesn't have ANY real friends, and the one he does have, he constantlysays [Edited Out] about him to my mom, and then goes and places his world to the feet of this friend (btw this friend isnt alll that amazing either, but least he isnt a [Edited Out] bag like my dad( believe me i know)). when i was younger he used to physically abuse and hurt my mom, and he used to hit me too. he even went to saying that I also have a boyfriend when all i did was go upstairs to get a book (apparently there was some guy at the balcony opposite to our house, and i was " trying to communicate with him". i didnt take this lightly and raised voice and finger and started hitting me and dragged me down the stairs, and just like my nine year old self, i wanted to die and just kept repeating ' should have jusy killed me you ass' (this was two years ago). we had video camerasn around the house so mom opened them up, and showed i had done no such thing. he didnt apologise, he didnt even do anything to show remorse, instead justified everything from thefact that a raised my voise and held my finger up. a year ago, i was upset with him for another reason, and i told my mom. i told her to leave it that it was whatever, ill get over it. but she bought it up, and we got into an argument, and i do admit i shouldnt have misbehaved again (only verbally like raising my voice or rolling my eyes) but he got so aggressive and tried to slap me so i stopped him and threw his hand away,,, he went to the kitchen and got a knife , and all i could think agout was my mom cause she was trying to stop him and he kept saying "THIS IS WHY YOU SEE FATHERS KILLING THEIR DAUGHTERs ON THE NEWS" and "YOUVE TAAUGHT THEM NOTNHING YOUNSELFISH, USELESS, (swear word, more swear words, swearing at her family)". a couple a days ago, hes started fighting with her again even though its my international exams that make up my grade for my university. in the morning i woke up to my mom begging him to just stop cause he kept saying "i know what you do, i know your actions, i know your disgusting behaviour" (btw we know that this craziness is over once he just starts getting , ok? like it just dies down). as a child, id always step in, even get a few slaps if i had to to get in between him hurting her, but ive grown now and know my duties given to me by Allah, about respecting my parents, and getting in between ( my mom also keeps saying its just two more years, you'll be off to uni then and everything will be fine, and ' pls dont waste my sacrifices' everytime i want to interfere (hes threatened stopping me from studying several times). ever since i was small my dad has told me to aim for a scholarship because he knew more abput this stuff, but now i think, would he even let me leave the city let alone country to continue studies? hes rejected going to a psychologist, talking to anybody (he doesnt believe he has a problem, he thinks my moms the problem) about this, he says we make him angry and that before marriage he was never like this ( he has changed a lot in the sense that my mom and i can wear clothes like jeans but only with long shirts (my moms always worn a duppatta over her head (covers her hair)). cant get my dads side involved firstly, theyd love this. secondly, theyre all like this themselves. his sisters do burka andd all but theyre always free to go wherever whenever, meet whoever. they sometimes go ariund with this 'pir' (guy who does black magic) but if we point that out, all hell would brreak loose on us. (his sisters got married to two brothers, so same household). theyre background is from a not even respectable village, so i cant count on them. cant tell my moms side, they already have their own financial and family issues (my mom doesnt want us four to become a drama in our family, whatever that means cause like our house isnt already a drama). sometimes my mom gets so fed up, she says "MAY Allah TAKE ME SO YOU (my dad) CAN HAPPY AND MARRY ANOTHER WIFE" and now hes started saying " may he, so you burn in hell". he says all these other wives are so obedient and nice, but shes not. he says the money my mom brings in holds no value to him, even though she doesnt get to use it, he uses it all, our groceries and school fees are payed with it (oh and he hasnt had a job in years, sells plots and gets profit, but now none of that is working either so the 'no valued' monry shes been bringijng in since 6 years, is all that is coming into our house. hes in the world where Allah has made him the ' man' of this household, however he doesnt fulfill the duties and says my mom is the reason why there are no blessings in her house. he tells her to leaveher job, and says Allah will provide us with the money, that we'll be fine without hers (our fees are cut 75% short because of her, and we get house groceries, petrol for the car, and whatnot from her salary and our rent (which again is none of his own hardwork, our grandfather gave us this house)). i know this is very long, but please help me. ive thought about killing myself from the age of 7 to 14, i even used to self harm thinking if he saw me in the state hes put my mind in the pressure and the mistreatement (moms mistreatement is what gets to me, he doesnt do much to my brothers except for the middle one whom he thought wasnt his and rejected him emotionally for four years and now hes become habitual on scolding him the most, and my brother knows my dad rejects him the most but all he does is get upst over it). ive been so patient these pasts months, but ive had enough. this morning i walked in on them , half sleep, holding everything i could grab (like spray bottles, perfumes, my bloody mascara botle) to throw it at him because it seemed llike he was gonna get physical again. please help me, please please pplease
  24. From the teachings of Imams (عليه السلام), the virtues of marriage are clear. Examples: The Prophet (S) said, “One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” And in the Qur'an: “And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Surah an-Nur, 24:32) I am a 21 year old male who goes to university in Canada, and I will be graduating in 2 years Inshallah. I am also a convert to Islam, and I've accepted the school of the Ahlul Bayt shortly after my conversion. Because the scholars recommend marriage early, I am looking for a way to get married to a religious and faithful wife. Looks and ethnicity are not important for me, it is enough if she is strongly committed to God and the teachings of the Ahlul Bayt. Can some of the brothers here give me some advice? Should I wait more because I am new to Islam? How can I find the right person when I don't have a Shi'a family or any Shi'a friends? There are many Sunni women at the University, but I would much rather it be someone who is a follower of the Ahlul Bayt. There is no Shi'a mosque near me, but when I graduate I plan to immediately move to a place where there is a Shi'a community (probably Toronto). Thanks
  25. Salaam I have met a nice girl. We both want to get married. Everything is in place, the families have met each other and everyone is on board and we have everyones support. Only thing her father does not permit a mutah. Her parents prefer us to remain na mahram until nikah. The nikah will happen in July or August. My family are non Muslim so they are not in a position to be able to help. The girl wants to do mutah too, we both now want to become halal for each other. She has tried to convince them but now its my turn. It will be too difficult to remain na mahram for 8 months for both. I don't mean from a sexual perspective (we live in different countries), just generally because we are both getting more and more attached to each other and developing feelings. The parents argument is we have already hung out, whatsapped etc so just carry on doing that but that was different- those things were happening when we were still finding out about each other. Now the situation is different as we have reached certainty about each other, have feelings etc. I don't mind whatever conditions he wants. Its just appropriate to become halal now. What religious and practical arguments can I use to convince him? Duas
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