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Found 3 results

  1. Assalamualaikum. Ya Ali (عليه السلام) Madad. I hope this message finds you well. I would like to share a deeply personal experience that I have undergone, seeking clarity and guidance from an Islamic perspective. About five years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a remarkable girl online. She is a zakira, devoted to reciting majalis throughout the year. We developed a strong connection over time, nurturing our relationship despite the physical distance between us. We've met sometimes tho. Unfortunately, our journey together took an unexpected turn when faced with a challenging situation. Before delving into this, allow me to provide some context. I have an elder sister who remains unmarried. The girl I was in love with and I aspired to marry one another. However, I held the belief that my sister's marriage should take precedence, delaying our own plans until she found a suitable partner. Despite our sincere intentions, we struggled to find a suitable match for my sister, leading to a prolonged wait. As time went on, the girl I cared for started receiving marriage proposals from other suitors. She expressed her concern to me, emphasizing the urgency of addressing our own relationship's future. She insisted that I approach my family about our desire to marry, or she would have no choice but to consider other proposals. Taking her words to heart, I initiated a conversation with my mother about our intentions. It is important to note that my father had passed away a few years prior, leaving me with the responsibility of communicating our intentions to my mother alone. To my dismay, my mother's initial response was one of rejection and unwarranted criticism against the girl's character. This reaction deeply pained me. This was the first instance I had witnessed such behavior from my mother, as she had always been kind and understanding. I found it difficult to reconcile the fact that the person I held in high regard could harbor such prejudice against someone I deeply loved. I embarked on a mission to convince my mother, invoking the significance of compassion and fairness emphasized in Islamic teachings. I reminded her that hasty judgments and character defamation were strictly prohibited, especially without sufficient knowledge about the person in question. I beseeched my mother to consider the qualities of the girl I loved, and to view our relationship with an open heart. I implored her to evaluate the situation fairly, placing trust in the values she had instilled in me over the years. The ensuing weeks were challenging as I balanced my deep affection for the girl I loved and my commitment to respect and honor my mother's wishes. Eventually, the emotional strain led to a point where my mother urged me to leave the house, coupled with the threat of being disinherited. In that moment of despair, I confided in my sister, who assured me that she would manage the situation and find a solution. Trusting her, I shared the girl's contact details with my sister, who took the initiative to speak with her father. Tragically, my sister's actions were contrary to what I had hoped for. She approached the girl's father and persuaded him to distance his daughter from me. This revelation shattered me completely, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. I felt utterly isolated, with thoughts of suicide clouding my mind as I believed I had lost everything dear to me. In the aftermath of these events, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and a deep sense of loss. The girl I had envisioned a future with was now united with another, my relationship with my mother and sister had suffered irreparable damage, and the trust I once held for my loved ones was shattered. For the past two years, I have tried to mend the broken ties with my mother and sister. While some semblance of normalcy has returned to our interactions, it is undeniable that the dynamics have forever changed. Their actions have left scars that continue to affect our relationship, leaving me feeling conflicted about the love and respect I once held for them. Their insistence that I seek forgiveness for a transgression I fail to comprehend only deepens my internal struggle. As I reflect on my journey, one question remains at the forefront of my mind: What guidance does Islam provide for individuals facing such intricate and emotionally charged situations? I yearn for clarity on how to navigate this turmoil in a way that aligns with my faith. My earnest aspiration is to eventually establish financial stability, enabling me to make the difficult choice of parting ways with my family and seeking a life of my own. I am genuinely appreciative of any insights or wisdom you might be able to offer, grounded in Islamic teachings and values. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for considering my plea for guidance.
  2. Bismillah hir rahman nir rahim Assalamalekuum brothers and sisters I have a very serious problem that I need help with. If I don't get answers I will go crazy. Please if you have answers can they be backed up. It is long but every detail is important. May Allah give you patience. First question is during the time of Nikah can the girl nod her head in reponse or does she have to utter the words of the Nikah? I have seen this a lot in IndoPak marriages. And the representatives who are local scholars don't object to it. So is this acceptable? Second question, God forbid the Nikah is read wrong and both the boy and girl become aware of this after conceiving a child, is the child considered illegitimate? Now my biggest question. This is detailed. 3 years ago I had hurt my parents and made them cry because I humiliated them infront of their friends (wasn't intentional) and felt really depressed and guilty for hurting them. They soon after wanted to get me married. They suggested a man that I wasn't excited about and I briefly told why I wasn't (age gap) but they try to make me understand in their parenting ways that age doesn't matter. I didn't fight back because I didn't want to hurt or bother them again so I agreed to the marriage. Fast forward a couple of months and I have travelled back home and i have met this man and his physical appearance threw me off ( I didn't like him and what is worse is that I liked someone else). I still didn't say anything to my parents. Fast forward to wedding day and at this point my whole family has travelled back home to attend this big wedding gathering. I still didn't think of saying anything to my parents because I couldn't hurt/humiliate them again. Forward to wedding night. I am asked by a representative for my nikah acceptance and I nod my reply as yes. During the nod I am thinking with overwhelming feelings that God I don't want too wit . I spend a month with this man and I do like him as a person. Still not fully in love. I travel back home and stay with my family for a year. Once again these overwhelming feelings come back. My father finds out about my feelings and he says he values my happiness and says divorce him and why didn't I say anything before. Around this time my husband had just immigrated to my country. I was indesicive at first but I couldn't hurt someone like that again (and this man really loved me). I decided not too. A couple of months later I finally muster the courage to tell him my feelings and soon after this I genuinely fell in love with him (he put more effort to make me happy) and wanted him as my husband. I soon get pregnant and I by chance ended up reading the rulings of Nikah (I never studied it; I was just told what to do and trusted it) . Which leads me here seeking help. Question is; Is my Nikah valid? Do I need to repeat it? Asking him to repeat it is going to cause adrift between us because he feels that nothing is wrong. I am afraid otherwise. I was not forced. My guilt and parents satisfaction brought me to this decision but now I am happy. I had to muster up a lot of courage to post this. I am going crazy. I am afraid of finding out the answer ngl. But this is driving me crazy where I am feeling lost and suicidal. I don't want to be in a haram relationship. Please somebody help me. I tried messaging Ayatollah Sistani but got no answer back. I am afraid of trying again.
  3. hawa

    Mahr

    salam aleykum va rahmatula va barakatu i would like to know condition of mahr according to shia does the men needs to give mahr if he divorces his wife or after their marriage thanks
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