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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Sorry mods, please dont ban me or censor me, ive been having this problem for a while and i need it addressed, everytime i look a woman expecially a white one, i get extreme desire and im get full of desire and lust. I want to get married but that seems out of the question at this point. I want to do Mutah but i cant find anyone around. Can a Shia help me out? It also makes me lose interest in sisters and desire western women!! And im sorrounded by porn and perverted people, theres little shias where i live. Can Fellow Shia and sisters giveme any help or advice?Can somebody help before i fall into sin!!!
I was very badly addicted to porn when I was 13. I used to masturbate to porn twice or sometimes thrice a day. But now, since one and a half year, I've stopped masturbating to porn. But still, my problem is not solved completely as I've not succeeded in breaking the bad habit of watching porn. Now, I'm 18 and watch porn once a week or sometimes twice a week. Please give me some advice on how can I overcome this problem. Moreover, would seeking a psychologist in this regard help or not? May Allah bless you.
How can we reconcile Islam rendering sexuality as both insignificant and the most pleasurable thing in existence? Keep in mind our destination will be heaven and sex will be the most engaged-upon activity in heaven. Is sex insignificant only in this world, but significant in heaven? Imam Ali (AS): “He whose intellect is complete finds sexual desires insignificant.” [Ghurar Al-Hikam, No. 8226] Imam Sadiq (AS): “Indeed, the people of heaven do not take delight in the pleasures of heaven more than sex; neither food nor drink has that much pleasure for them.” [Wasail Al-Shia, V. 20, Hadith 24929] It was asked of Imam Sadiq (AS): “If someone undresses his wife (and makes her naked) and looks at her, is there a problem?” He replied: “There is no problem, is there any better pleasure than this that exists?” [Hadiyah Al-Mutaqin, P. 111]
Sisters are free to join in, I posted this here because it may not be suitable, due to its explicit nature, in the family and social forums. I know there is nothing wrong if a man marries because of his basic need for sex. I still cannot see this from a girl's point of view. There will obviously be problems if you choose a spouse simply because she looks good and I know spouse selection and marriage is much more than that. This thread is about why Men/Women see it as deviant for a person to enter a marriage because of his sexual needs? Often I see people advising young men that they should not marry because of sex but what I think they fail to realise is that sex and lust is what motivates men to get married, you could act all sisterly on me about this point but those natural desires are there for a reason and purpose, so I do not think buying groceries is the main reason why men get married, I think lust is what drives men to marry. Also please don't misread this, when I say sex is what drives men I am not saying that is the only motivation but it is one of the many reasons why men get married. So what is wrong with marrying to fulfil one's needs? I keep hearing people discouraging other people away from marriage because of many reasons like money and "marriage is more than lust". No wonder why people are not marrying early. Being a young man trying to marry today is like pushing through several walls of discouragement from everyone, I wonder how many other young men are wanting marriage but their efforts are in vain because people simply don't understand what 'enjoining good' is. Also if you could list a few other reasons/motivations for why men get married other than sex would be helpful.
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