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In the past couple of days I have decided to become closer to Allah and went back to praying and making dua, and doing research about Islam. But honestly I don’t know why this has just made me more miserable and scared. I feel like im doomed in hell forever, im so scared of sinning and making mistakes that I sometimes wish I can die as fast as possible so I avoid drifting from the right path. I still don’t know much about Islam cause I spent al my life avoiding it cause I knew the more I learnt the more I will havw fear grow in my heart instead of iman and happiness One of the main things im struggling with is not understanding why certain things are haram and have big punishments to them, for example I can’t seem to understand why listening to music will cause someone to suffer in hell for eternity?? people say it makes people not remember Allah but can’t that be said about other things like reading,watching movies,hanging out with friends, doing sports?? as long as im not harming myself or anyone around me and im still praying,fasting,reading Qur'an and remembering Allah then why would Allah who is most merciful cause me such severe punishment. Im just so scared of being a bad Muslim and ending up in hell, im even scared of having kids in the future because im scared I might accidentally lead them on the wrong path. please help me get over this anxiety, its causing me to just cry and pity myself instead of studying and helping my parents and hanging out with my friends

I need help with a big issue I'm having to deal with and that's losing faith. I only became a religious again in December, couple of months ago. A better way to put it is that I became Muslim again in December since I was only Muslim by name and I broke probably every rule accept one or two. So anyway I started of caring a lot about religion and tried to "fix up" my life and my lifestyle, it went well till about mid March. I prayed 5 times a day and tried to learn and research as much as I can, I started to over come bad habits and all the other usual stuff that I shouldn't be doing. Then I just started to slowly miss out prayers, habits would come back slowly and I wouldn't try to educate my self anymore. Now it's just gotten really bad, I would miss days and sometimes go on without any prayers for a week maybe more. I'm basically going back to like a was before and that's technically atheist in a way, apart from the fact I know there's a God. The west does effect my lifestyle and what I see and do everyday as well as the people I'm around so it's a bit harder for me to be religious and stay religious in this atmosphere. I'm not going to lie to myself, I do like it how it was like before, just doing my own thing and not caring about anything, I enjoyed myself more and only since I became attached to Islam again I started to lose motivation and I wouldn't enjoy my time like I did before even though life made more sense I would still rather it before. Anyway how do I go on about this? I know that Islam is the true religion and there is a God which will judge me on what I have done but I don't seem to care anymore, it's weird. Has anyone experienced something similar to this? Sorry I forgot to mention, I'm 16.