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Bismillah al Rahman al Raheem, Salaam alaikum, I am a convert Alhumdullillah, if 10 years and I follow Sayed Kamal al Haydari, formerly my husband and I followed Ayatollah Sadr (may Allah lighten his grave and have Mercy on him). But we have since seen the necessary importance of following current and living scholars. First question : does anyone know how to get any English works of Ayatollah Sayed Kamal al Haydari, besides what is already on his website which is only 2 works I believe. Any supporting materials in English or newer lectures that have been translated to English would also be appreciated. Unfortunately, for an English only speaker, there is not a lot. Has anyone listened to the lectures my the servant Mohamad Musa on kenat Eleyoun channel on YouTube, they are amazing and inspiring and I want to know more! I don't know where he learns what he knows but I would like to learn more (scientific presentations and deeper almost gnostic spiritual irfan materials just beautiful MashaAllah). I highly recommend. Second : family gatherings, with my Christian family.... So Thanksgiving, and the like... What is the ruling when there is alcohol present, like my parents do have a glass of wine with dinner. Usually they avoid any pork products while I am there, and we have halal dishes, but they may have some non halal meat dishes excluding pork, but we are vigilant in keeping our utensils and the like seperate, I'm aware of all those rulings, but not of the ruling that I'm sharing a meal where others are drinking wine (like not getting drunk, my parents aren't like that, but they are also Italian and enjoy the taste). So if I constantly avoid any gathering where others may or may not drink an alcoholic beverage, I would be displeasing my father and to ask them not to drink, is imposing my own beliefs on them and what they choose to do. They have been very supportive with my conversion. I just don't want to disappoint my father or tell him what to do as that is disrespectful. I feel like asking them not to drink wine when I'm present is going to far and don't make sense to them, but this is my own insecurity. I feel weak in this position. Also sometimes in the morning before I get there they have had bacon and the house smells of it, It makes me naueous honestly, so what happens if I smell it? They also have cats in the house, and I'm aware of the najis factor of cats so I try and keep my clothes free of hair and I pray outside. Not to mention I'm highly allergic. Any suggestions? My step sister is getting married and I told her I can not attend a mixed gathering or a gathering serving alcohol and explained, she seemed to be understanding. Alhumdullillah. But what happens when my other sister wants me to be a bride maid for instance (not happened yet but I could see this happening in the future perhaps). Being a convert is hard. Sometimes you feel as if your imposing your beliefs on others, (mostly family situations) but I fear Allah SWT more. Insha'Allah. You feel alone alot if times. It's hard, Especially when it comes to having children and trying to raise them in a right way in a western society (America) and having anyone for Islamic, motherly advice. Alhumdullillah I've found some support in my community and my kids go to a shia Islamic school Alhumdullillah Rubbil Alameen. I'm trying my best Insha'Allah. I appreciate your informed advice with supporting evidence. Wa RahmatAllah wa Barakatu.