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Asalam O alaikum, Friends, I am in extreme dilemma, which is eating my time & inner peace and thought to ask a shia expert advise for istekhara. I belongs to India and was working for a MNC untill last year; after my engineering exams . Considering my parents wishes, i was OKAY to marry whom-so-ever my parents wished me to, but none of the istekhara came. Last year, i decided to restart my studies to prepare for a govt exams and an alliance came, parents from both families did istekhara and it didnt go, was rejected; still that family asked us to keep in touch and redo istekhara. Without informing my parents, they re-did, it came and asked my parents to do - finally it came positive for both of us. But during this period of time, this guy insisted me to talk, which i avoided mostly and realized he is self-centered and aggressive, after inquiring and seeing his social media pages, I realized too many post, which were mostly women & their body centric - seems bit awkward & abusive to me. My parents are pestering me to marry him, considering this - as a wish of Allah. Though I respect everything but now knowing these facts, I am unable to accept him either as a friend or a husband & YES, I MUST TELL YOU - MY PARENTS HAVE SEEN THOSE TWEETS FROM HIM. What to do now, i m surprised, perplexed, anxious and it's hampering my studies. I have cried enough & prayed God to show right path but no clue.

Salaam Alaikum my Brothers and Sisters in Faith, I have recently endured so much pain and am affraid I am loosing my faith, and I am hoping someone out there could help me.... I got engaged to a girl on June 24th, 2013 and from that moment my life has taken a turn for the worse. I went to Dubai for my cousins wedding and had my family set up a "meeting" with a girl and her parents.The meeting went well (better than expected) and we ended up talking for 3 hrs. When I flew back to Canada we kept in touch via email and then moved to whatsapp. A month later she came to Canada (she is also a Canadian Citizen) to visit family. We began talking more and more, and I developed feelings for her. I was confused to start off with because I never really wanted a girl who wore hijaab (she is not the type of girl I typically go for). Our parents got a long great and everything seemed perfect. I began getting more serious about my religion (something ive always wanted) and started reading hadith on how to choose a wife. I began to really love her, and the fact she wore hijaab and practied her religion was something so wonderful, that I thought I found "the one". I always wanted a wife to go to mosque with, to share experiences of Ramadhan, muharaam, eid etc. Before we got engaged she told me she wasnt a virgin (I was upset, but I understood and could accept it, as I am not a virgin either - although I always practiced Mutah). I inquired about her past and was shocked to learn she engaged in homosexuality. I was so confused and perplexed as I thought this girl was the one. I spoke to my brother and family, created a pros and con list and was still confused. So I finally decided I should do istekhara and ask Allah to guide me for what ever is best for me. When I made my niyaat I asked so sincerely and in tears if I should marry this girl with her past, I also quoted the Quran and asked Allah that in the Quran it says he has created mates from amongst yourself so that you may dwell in peace and tranquility (i didnt know which verse this was, but I remember reading this while I was researching on how to select a spouse) and begged Allah that is she isnt the one to please help me so I can complete 50% of my religion and seek closeness to Allah. The mualana called me back later that day and told me my istekhara came out positive and the verse that came out was Sura Rum Verse 20-21. The shock is verse 21 is THE SAME LINE USED IN MY PRAYER! "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." I prayed so sincerely and only asked for closeness to Allah, and I believed my prayer was answered. I began to get more spiritual and for a brief moment was happy. After a few weeks we got engaged, and I was so happy that I chose a girl with deen over looks (Before meeting her I only wanted a pretty woman, but when I began reading I realized that Deen should always be my number 1 choice). We got engaged and our families were extremely happy. We use to recite duas together, remind eachother its prayer times (this is something i ALWAYS wanted), we even listened to islamic lectures together. However, throughout our conversations I always had a suspicion that she was hiding something from me, which bothered me greatly, as I was always open and honest to her. After the engagement, she went back home to visit family, the day before she left I inquired about her past and found something that greatly disturbed me. She was sexually active since the age of 13, she engaged in threesomes, she engaged in threesomes with her and two guys, and also homosexual activities. I was hurt digusted, but still loved her greatly. I strgonly believed in my istekhara and in Sura al-baqara it states "you may love something that is bad for you, and you may hate something which is good for you, only God knows". I wanted to help her and accept what she has done, and toghether we can climb the ladder toward Allah. She left for Ramadhan and I used this month to be closer to Allah and ask him for stregnth to endure (I can accept a past, but hers was so hardcore that is bothered me greatly). I prayed on the nights of Qadr for Allah to increase my faith, so that I may accept the istekhara with no doubt whatsoever. It seemed like each day I was learning more about her, and it got worse and worse...however, I loved her and believed she had repented and only God can judge. I accept her and endured so much because I love her and believed Allah knows best....she finally came back and things were going ok, then one day I get a call from her crying (I dont like to see her sad or cry, because throughout her past i believe she is a good person). She told me that the door to her past is open and she is affraid it wont close...what she told me shook my very foundation...she was apparently already married...and did a sposal sponsorhip with her husband and that she is legally married....she went behind her fathers back and married him although her father said no she did not listen. I realized that she knew this guy for 9 years and her love for him was unimaginable, and that she still loved him. I also found out during our meetings and when she came to Canada she was still in touch with him...which broke my heart and that she was also intouch with him after our engagement. I went with her to lawyers office to see what can be done....I helped her and directed her on how to get a divorce..i was able to except things I never thought I could, but this marriage issue was the icing on the cake and began to question her character and morality. How she could betray her parents who gave her unconditional love and support..She also told me she loved this guy more than me....I cant marry her if shes already married, and i did not want to force a divorce on her because if she loved this guy, i just want her to be happy....I also found out that her Dad forced her out of this relationship and then plugged her with me, which I found totally unfair on the both of us, as I want a wife who loves me and only me...Skipping forward we broke the engagement, as I wanted her to take time and think about what she wants, to reflect on her past actions, and see if she wants a change. I realized that she was with me only to make her father happy, and that her love for me developed later...I also realized that she doesnt understand how bad her sexual past is, and if you dont understand the gravity of the mistake/sin how could one truly repent? My question is, knowing all of this why would the allmighty make me go through so much pain? What was the point of all this? How come my istekhara came out coincidentally the same verse I used in my niyaat while doing the istekhara? Knowing her past I wouldnt have stuck around this long, but having faith and trust in Allah that he knows better made me stay as long as I did....I am so confused and hurt because i feel as though istekhara isnt real...i can deal with loosing love, but loosing faith and trust in Allah is so devastating...I am very sorry for the long read, but I humbly ask anyone to help me make sense of this for me... With Salaams,

Assalam o alaikum I have been told that Istekhara by Tasbeeh Beads (a.k.a. Istekhara- Imam Al Zaman) which is carried out by reciting dua and counting the beads of Tasbeeh is haram. I have been reading online about it and couldn't find anything regarding it as haram. But I need authentic resources which state that this type of istekhara is not haram. So please help me in this regard. I need authentic citations. Authentic books be them from shia Ulimma or sunni ulima. It is very important for me to have satisfactory answer because the person who has asked me this is sunni but he has inclination towards Ahl ul Bait A.S. and shiat itself. looking forward to your replies.

I have a big big problem! I was talking to a man with regards to marriage. Him and I live in different countries, have never met but have talked on the phone and so on. So one day, out of the blue he calls me and tells me he did istekhara for our marriage and it came bad! So at first, I began doubting his honestly about this istekhara and thought it was a way out of making a decision but then later on got convinced when he told me he felt bad about it. Well, here is the situation. Him & I live in separate continents totally. We began talking on Whatsapp and Phone. Nothing haram, just genuine talks about life and marriage. So there came a point where there was a certain amount on pressure on him to make a decision about us as to whether he wanted to proceed or not. So instead of meeting me first, talking to me and then making a decision, he does an istekhara! And it comes bad! So he decides not to marry me or even considering marrying me! Is this istekhara even valid? It's driving me nuts. I wanted to really pursue thinking marriage with him but I was so shy in the beginning that talking to him so much about things was making me uncomfortable and he was my first conversation with a man with regards to marriage. He didn't even ask me if he should do an istekhara! I don't know what to do. All I know is I have feelings for this guy. Mainly because he is so nice! Perfect husband!! And he says I'd be a perfect wife! :( I don't know what to do. Istekhara has made me so confused. I really thought him and I were getting somewhere.

Salaams Brothers and Sisters, My question relates to istekhara for marriage Is it permissible for a man to do an istekhara for marrying a woman without informing her or asking her? I ask this because I have read that going against an istekhara is not allowed, so if the istekhara comes good, isn't it obligatory on BOTH of them to get married? Also, I hear istekhara can change with time. Is this true? Is it even allowed to do istekhara anymore because nowadays it's being used as a reason for not making a big decision and just relying on istekhara? When should istekhara for marriage be done? Both the people think they are good and decent people, yet if someone is not 100% sure, should they resort to istekhara? And if istekhara comes bad, can one still consider marriage with the same person after a certain amount of time, when circumstances have changed? Lastly, is our partner destined for us, or is there any way that we can make dua to Allah for Him to grant us the person we wish to marry but can't at the moment? Duas can change destiny. Allah accepts all duas that are legitimate. Isn't dua for marrying a specific person a legitimate desire? Thanks a lot in advance for your responses.

Is it permissible to tell future on the basis of istekhara. for example a istekhara is taken for the purpose of marriage and Molana told that in the first years life will be easy and very comfortable but afterwards problems may be faced and these problems will be from close relative etc, specially poverty may occur. Further, May anyone interpret Sura e Luqman Ayat 20 with the point view of istekhara. Thanks Abbas

Hi - Topic is open for discussion and gathering knowledge on the origins of istekhara (valid ahadees or quotes) and what are the various forms through which it is practiced. Further, what are the intricacies in the timing and repetition of istekhara. And, is it practiced world wide in all Shia communities? Looking for your views - Thanks