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I feel I'm not ambitious enough about financial growth. I just don't get winded up about it. Even though I need to get settled ASAP, pronto to turn my 3 year old nikkah into a marriage (rukhsati). But even apart from the marriage pre and post expenses. I want to get settled. I just fear the entire job/gig/work searching process and just can't get myself to do it. I see people starting with whatever comes their way and eventually landing some good job. And I just sit and wait for something 'perfect' and 'optimal' to come my way.... . Please suggest some al-Islam pdf content or personal advice for me to get excited about getting financially ambitious and eventually settled.... . I say financially ambitious because otherwise I like to study, keep myself up to date, keep my deen in place...

I'm an 18 year old female, and in the future I might be living away from home for university and then maybe a job. One of my friends (also Shia) says that after a certain age of maturity we should be able to live our own life without asking our parents for permission and burdening them. That we should get a job and move elsewhere (even during university or for university). I don't have an issue personally (neither do my parents) on that part, but they believe that if only I'm going abroad for my studies it would be fine. And I know alot of you are going to say that that's not allowed for a girl either, okay I get it. But that's not the topic at hand right now. I don't know how to answer her. Like is it allowed to live independently? Does it have to include your parents permission? If the guys can do it, why can't the women? (I'm not saying this out of "EQUALITY FOR ALL", because I know why there can't be complete equality and it's ridiculous to believe so. It's more of a "why" the difference) Also, what if you come from an abusive household and leaving there is better for you to keep your sanity. Should the girl still stay? And no, no family member is willing to help, no community people, no marja. Just you. So what then? Just endure it, like they've endured it for the rest of their life, until marriage? (I'm so against the enduring part, the "have patience" part. I've seen so many women in my life suffer for no reason. Literally they could get out, but there's no support other than themselves. So I'm really hoping no one says that)