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In the Name of God بسم الله
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I'm an 18 year old female, and in the future I might be living away from home for university and then maybe a job. One of my friends (also Shia) says that after a certain age of maturity we should be able to live our own life without asking our parents for permission and burdening them. That we should get a job and move elsewhere (even during university or for university). I don't have an issue personally (neither do my parents) on that part, but they believe that if only I'm going abroad for my studies it would be fine. And I know alot of you are going to say that that's not allowed for a girl either, okay I get it. But that's not the topic at hand right now. I don't know how to answer her. Like is it allowed to live independently? Does it have to include your parents permission? If the guys can do it, why can't the women? (I'm not saying this out of "EQUALITY FOR ALL", because I know why there can't be complete equality and it's ridiculous to believe so. It's more of a "why" the difference) Also, what if you come from an abusive household and leaving there is better for you to keep your sanity. Should the girl still stay? And no, no family member is willing to help, no community people, no marja. Just you. So what then? Just endure it, like they've endured it for the rest of their life, until marriage? (I'm so against the enduring part, the "have patience" part. I've seen so many women in my life suffer for no reason. Literally they could get out, but there's no support other than themselves. So I'm really hoping no one says that)- 19 replies
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Salam everyone, I came across this article on al-Islam.org. https://www.al-islam.org/hijab-muslim-womens-dress-islamic-or-cultural-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/hijab-jokes i thought I must share it with all of you, it’s good - to the point and funny- and are not my words. Some sister wrote it many years ago. let me know what you guys think of this little article, as I plan to make a video on this - so your response will help! Here it is: ’It has been my personal observation that some Muslim girls and women do not realize the significance of hijab. Hijab is Arabic for protection and cover. Some people put a lot of effort into their hijab, yet it serves no purpose. I am referring to the pointless hijab that some girls wear. The first pointless hijab is referred to as the headband hijab. It is a band of fabric approximately 4 inches wide. It covers the back of the head and allows all the hair to be exposed. It doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but at least it comes in handy in case of an unexpected tennis match. The second pointless hijab is the dupetta, also known as the Saran wrap hijab. It covers all the hair, but it is totally transparent. Again it doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but it keeps the hair nice and fresh. The third type of hijab is known as the Mickey Mouse Hijab. It is when a girl wears a black scarf and tucks it behind her ear, so that her ears stick out. We now move to my favorites: the yo-yo hijabs.The first yo-yo hijab, also known as the Benazir Bhutto hijab, is the scarf that keeps falling down and needs to be constantly pulled back up....up, down, up, down, just like a yo-yo. The second yo-yo hijab is also referred to as the convertible hijab. This type of hijab is predominant at any type of social event, i.e. an Aqeeqah, Bismillah party, Ameen party, wedding, etc. This is when an Imam or Qari comes up to the microphone and starts to recite Qur'an. At this point, all the convertible hijabs come up...until he says "Sadaqallahul adheem". I'm not sure, but apparently in some cultures that translates to "Ok sisters, you may now take off your scarves". I'm sure this may seem odd, but what's even funnier is when people do not anticipate the recitation of Qur'an at a social event, and are forced to be creative and use accessories such as a purse to cover one's hair. I was surprised to see a women hold her purse over her head as "hijab"...as if the multitudes of men surrounding her are not a good enough reason to wear hijab, but some guy reciting du'a compels her to hold a purse over her head. Her friends were more creative...one friend used her dinner napkin. I was also laughing when I saw the communal hijab---two or more girls draped under one dinner napkin during the recitation of Qur'an. Her other friend was still more creative. She used her coffee saucer on the back of her head. I wasn't sure if it was hijab or a Yamaka. I didn't know if she was a Muslim or a Jew. I felt like going up to her and saying "Shalom alaikum, sister". And, people should remember that hijab is not just a protection from guys, but from a girl's nafs (ego) as well. It should prevent girls from having to spend hours in front of the mirror doing their hair. But, unfortunately, you see girls in front of the mirror for hours doing their hijab as they would do their hair, with all sorts of elaborate braids and the like. I wanted to go up to a sister and say "Is your hijab naturally curly?" I also felt compelled to go up to another girl and say "pardon me, but is your hijab naturally that color, or did you dye it?" Well, the point to remember is that some people make an effort to wear hijab, but it is futile, because it is not fulfilling its purpose. It's like using an umbrella with holes in it. Hijab is used for protection from guys as well as from the girl herself, and should not be used as an accessory or for beautifying one's self. Anyway, that's it…. dont forget to write your response!
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Asalam Aleikum brothers and sisters. I've been using shiachat.com many times in the past to learn about all kinds of things and experiences in Islam and today I'm writing my first topic to ask for advice and help from everyone here. I'm a Shia Muslim living in a non-Islamic country with very few Muslims and barely any Shia Muslims. I've been search for a potential wife for a few years with no luck. In the past year I've had a Sunni Muslim sister freind and we both have been helping each other out in this non-Islamic country and have been getting along very well because we both have many common interests and backgrounds (we both have mixed cultures). Both me and her have shared with each other that we are in search of a soul mate but neither of us has asked the other about a potential marrige but she does seem to have implied it by tell me about her wishing to get married many times. Now I know there are shia brothers who have married sunni sisters but I don't plan on doing that. But I feel that if I'm able to talk to her about wanting to get married and tell her that I would be willing to do that if she would look into the Shia Mazhab and potentially become a Shia Muslim. But I'm afraid of her reaction, I'm not sure how open she is to other Mazhabs and wheather she would be willing to look into and learn about the Shia Mazhab. I don't know how I should suggest this idea to her without her feeling that I'm enforcing something on her. I want to convey to her that I'm willing to look into getting married and willing to listen to her requests too if she is willing to look into my Mazhab. So here I am asking you brothers and sisters for your advice and experiences in this subject. Thanks in advance to everyone for giving your time to read my request.
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Salam Alaikum, This is my first topic as I decided to make a new account today because I have no one else to talk to my problem about. I know some of you may be tired of hearing about these problems here but I need your help. I know you may be surprised as you would except this from a boy but im a girl suffering from masturbation addiction. I feel very ashamed and embarrassed to even write it but I really need someone to give me hope for Allah's mercy (I know it's big but sometimes I feel like repentance isn't enough) My very bad friend in the past introduced me to watch porn online which led me to this disgusting sin. ( I haven't spoken to her in 2 years) once I met my new friends, I changed and became a better Muslim; I stopped backbiting etc they taught me the best things in life. But since last year I came back to the sin, I can't really remember how because I don't even watch porn since that bad person was my friend. Everytime I do it, I burst out in tears and repent from the bottom of my heart to Allah that I'm sorry and I won't repeat this disgusting sin , and I really do mean it. The shaytan defeats me all the time. Not to long after , maybe 3 weeks laters, I go back to it and repent and cry, go back to it, repent and cry and it doesn't stop until this day. I really do love Allah and I fear him but once you keep doing the sin you are trapped. I repeated that sin again and I cried a lot today but I feel worthless and disgusting and I feel like Allah just won't forgive me anymore, the more I repeat the sin, I still cry a lot but I don't bother to express my feelings to Allah ( I do it on the inside, because I feel like Allah is tired of listening to someone who keeps breaking their promise) Also, because I saw a quote from Imam al rida (alayhilsalam) saying Imam al-Rida (AS) said, ‘The one who seeks forgiveness for a sin and then repeats it is as one who mocks his Lord.’ after this, I just feel suicidal and I plan on cutting myself because of this addiction. Every time o repent to Allah I ask him to help me and make me stronger but i keep going back to it in a shorter period of time. i really feel like the imams are cursing me when I pray for them and make Dua. im very jealous of my religious friends and I wish I was them because I feel so scarred. I even wrote a big letter to myself for motivation not to repeat it and that I will deal with the consequences in the after life but I still do it. Here in the Shiachat community, I saw people asking if they will inshallah be forgiven for bad deeds if they repent and many of you guys said that Allah won't forgive you if you keep repeating it and that you'll go to hell. Please don't tell me to consider Mutah as I am only 15 and what will my parents say if I tell them, I will be in big trouble and I don't want this anyway as it is an addiction and I want to overcome it instead of finding a solution this way. My question; 1) you guys are the only people I can have this conversation about and no one else. If i truly promised Allah this is my last time and I strongly promise that I mean it from the bottom from my heart, do you think I inshallah will be forgiven? Please give me hope on Allah's mercy even though I know it's very big. 2) Do you think I may not be forgiven as Imam al rida states that repeating it is like mocking your Lord? And please pray for me. Bless you -
Salamun Alaykum brothers and sisters, My wife is expecting our second child, and I have put in many hours thinking of names. The ultrasound shows it may be a girl "most likely". My wife is totally unsure of what to name her, infact she has also thought of many names however she just seems like she is overwhelmed at the moment with the pregnancy so I try and help make suggestions and usually we build from whatever she likes. We named our first child (daughter) Kawthar. So far we have shortened the long list down to a few choices given that my wife is in her 8th month. For arguments sake we have settled on girls names for the time being and if it is a boy we have a few suitable names we like. If our child is a girl we like: 1. BILQIS (The Queen of Sheba) mentioned in the Qur'an in Surah An-Naml 2. YAQEEN meaning certainty, lack of doubt, belief, faith. This choice seems more like a boys name but I wanted to hear input I guess of what everyone thinks. I personally think Yaqeen can be a unisex name like safa or noor. *Let me know what you think about this* 3. IZDIHAR meaning blossoming, derives from Zahra. 4. TASNIM meaning fountain or spring in paradise I Surah Al-Mutaffifin Please let me know what you all think. Also, we are open to suggestions. JazakumAllah Khair. H.
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Nowadays some try and insist to introduce themselves as the forerunners of respect for women's rights, but the reality is that more than 14 centuries ago, when girls were buried alive and had no place in a family and society, Islam had given orders to cherish them. Prophet Mohammad (SAAW) said: "Your daughters are your best children." (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v.2, p.615)
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Salam alaykum One of the best methods of defining hijab.
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Salam alaykom! I have met a girl and I am really into her. I can see her as the mother of my children. But the problem is she is sunni. I want to raise my children as shias and she has agreed to this. But yet I cant because of confused children. I have read many threads everywhere and most people do not recommend it and I understand that. But I cant see myself with another person. I actually dont want to either. I read that it was mostly a problem if the girl was the shia and the guy the sunni but ok if the guy is shia. I really want her to become shia, any good suggestions on how to aproach this and not sound like I want to control her or anything like that. Please help Wa salam!
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Salam Alaykom! I have started another topic before but I forgot to mention the other aspect of why I cant this sunni girl who has agreed to let our children to be raised as shias, so the response to that topic faided out and peopple couldnt help me. So insha'Allah you all can help me here instead. I want to marry this girl and before the problem was that I couldnt because she was sunni, but I was convinced that I could do so anyway because she agreed to raise our children as shias and maybe someday she herself will become a shia too insha'Allah. But another big problem here is that I have sisters who expect to able to do the same things as me. That they can marry a guy who is sunni/(or in my sister's case, a bad shia who is from another country(and so is this girl I want to marry)). What should I do? Wait for my sister to get married first? Cause that is what I'm doing right now... And it's killing me, because I have many sisters and I cant wait forever for them to get married.... This girl might not wait for me that long... I hope you guys can give some good advice! May Allah bless you all! Wa Salam!
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I had always had a strong connection and chemistry with someone i had known and grown up with all my life, we had a relaltionship when we were younger at around 13-14 we were both young and stupid and got caught by my mother, then last year it all started again, we love each other so much and we both still do, things started to get serious really quickly, he said he wants to get married and i agreed, anyways things got serious really quickly and he convinced me that we would be together no matter what even though we both knew we would have massive problems with our parents accepting us, but i still believed and trusted him, unfortunately i allowed for the worst to happen, we both committed zina and fornication without nikkah, this now means i am no longer a pure girl. months went by and things were going great except for his parents who were strongly against me simply because they did not like me and they wanted a bride from their home land. two weeks before my birthday he stopped talking to me, i was really confused and i didn't know why, he broke up with me because of his parents and he said that he is going to get married to the person they desire only because he does not want to disrespect his parents for Allah's sake, but what about me ? he has basically ruined my life if he marries another, how am i supposed to get married to someone else like this? what will my parents do when they find out from a future husband? does respecting his parents outweigh leaving me like this with no future? anyway, he is about to go and get nikkah with someone very shortly, my mother found out about our recent relationship and she asked if we had commited zina or fornication but i was too afraid to tell her the truth, she said that it will ruin your honour, our families honour, and your future, i really wanted to tell her that we did fornicate and commit zina but i was so scared, what do i do ? do i tell her? do i leave it? please please help me as he is going to get married soon and i dont want to be too late to take action
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Would it be offensive to the girl if I tried to talk to her without her parents knowing, just so we can get to know each other better before marriage? And how can I tell from text if she is mad at me for trying to contact her?
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Assalam Allikum !! In accordance, to the matter of compulsory precaution for a girl to seek her father's permission for marriage. If a girl was grown up by her guardians, and her father was not involved in her matters,caring and parental responsibilities. Who has she to seek for permission of her marriage? Does she need to ask her Real father's permission for marriage? But if with the permission of her guardian parents she has married, is it permissible? Please assist in consideration of Islamic regulations. ([Edited Out]e) Best Regards.
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Salam alaykum brothers and sisters. It´s hard for me to start this topic but i´ll try not to say too much! I´m a teenager girl and I have this habit of falling in love pretty easy without even knowing the "guy" and i hate it soo bad! :no: "Todays society" i really want to get away from this "habit" and recently i´m developing feelings for a guy which is not shia, he is sunni and I think about him all day and all night, I kind of love him soo much I want to marry him but I can´t see a future with him and me because it will cause problems. It´s just soo wrong and i can´t control myself. I need to become more religious and i need to know how? If someone could link some lectures it would be nice. I need a life change and I know that Ahlebayt/Islam is the way, I want to depend everything on Allah and just know that he is the one who will never dissapoint me. Jazakk.
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Selam everyone, I am deeply in love with an Afghan girl, I myself am from Turkish/Zazaki(iranian/kurdish) origin. We have a normal relationship for one year now, I am really certain this girl is the perfect one for me and we havent done anything but hold hands and talk and walk. I want to ask for her hand like it is normal in both our cultures, first we ask the girl hand and then we get engaged an evenually marry after a few years. Her father is very strict and saw us at the bus station one time and he wants her to marry her cousin, this is what old school people that are stuck in the time do, they dont let her have any saying in this. Her mother and grandmother and sister have fought for her decision to stick with me and after 6 months it seemed to help. Her father seemed to realise that if he keeps going on like this he wil tear his family apart. He finally accepted his daughters choice and we both were so happy, after university so after 2 years we could get engaged. But now her father changed his mind again and want her to engage her cousin, she threatened to run away from home and now her father is afraid so they dont talk to each other for now. How should I approach this situation, we still see each other every day at school and we are truly in love, we want to do this the proper way through our culture and religion ( both muslim ) but her father stands in the way of her and her sisters and mothers happiness. he simply thinks his pride and honor outweigh everything else in this world and wants everything his way. Everyone of her family supports us and even her father truly knows I am really serious with his daughter. I really appreciate your help in advance, thanks everyone!
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salam alakum sisters. Today I came to school and a friend of mine came to me and said "do you know that girl with the head scarf?" I replied "yes" then she told me "she took her headscarf off in school!" i was surprised, I did not believe it at first until she took took me to see her and I was very shocked that she actually took her headscarf off. she was sitting there with her friends normally. I actually inside of me felt very insulted because why would someone wear it and take it off it's just wrong. However another part of me said that probably her parents forced her to wear it and hijab should never be forced. But deep inside of me something is telling me to talk to her and persuade this girl to come back to the hijab. So my question is, is it my duty and is it wajib to talk to her? because i feel guilty from the inside. However i don't really know this person as a friend, she's just someone in school. should I just leave her and mind my own business or should i get into her business?
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Salam, I am looking for a name that is both Iranian and Shia. I like the name Anousheh, but I live in the UK and so am afraid that it will be too difficult to pronounce. I also really like Ayla, but would like to know if it is a Shia name/acceptable amongst Shia's and also I wanted to know of its cultural origins, because I know only a few Ayla's which are iranian. Regards
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Asaalam-O-Laikum, Hope you are all well :) Which baby boy/girl names do you like?
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Salaams All, I am just about to get married and a thought crossed my mind How long after the wedding day is it acceptable to make love with your wife? Many people will say, 'your sex life should be based on love'. And I agree, it should be But, what if I'm ready to on the wedding night but my wife isn't? I would ask her, but, I'm scared that she'll think I'm some sex-driven pervert for even thinking of making love on the first night, Help please!!!
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This thread is dedicated to LebanesePrincess, it's her little fan club. I am her No. 1 Fan. For those of you who don't know her very well, here's a brief introduction: More than a decade ago, a legend was born. Raised in a humble background, she was inherently kind and confident, never afraid to speak her mind. She mastered the art of creative and bubbly writing, developing the skill till she finally opened an account to share her ingenious threads. She also majored in humour. Having experienced oppression throughout her life, till now, she managed to defend herself with her amazing personality and intellectual capacity. Sugar, spice, and everything nice These were the ingredients chosen To create this perfect little girl This is the thread where LebanesePrincess has the liberty to say and post whatever the hell she wants and no one has the right to object to it or censor it. Let me put it this way, it's her private island. Your sincerely, BFF
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