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Found 13 results

  1. salam everyone. im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope. thanks in advance everyone x
  2. First of all, my dad is what in our society (im from islamabad, pakistan) we'd call "religious". He prays five times a day, fasts, gives zakat, knows widely about the religion, and makes sure we know all of that. The part where he strays is that he believes my mom likes to show herself off, and likes the attention of other men. She can't do something as simple as taking a shower and going to work (teaching grade 1 students) the next day, without my dad thinking she's trying impress someone My mom has sacrificed her life for us, compromised for us (im the eldest daughter (17) , and i have three younger brothers (12,9,8)), because four years after the marriage he started showing his true colours. Btw, this was an arranged marriage, so none of that "maybe he feels like she'll love someone else". He's just an insecure man, with anger issues, who has never blamed himself for anything or openly apologised for the big arguments HE causes (not in the time ive been alive and been able to understand), thinks he knows best and there is no one better than him, doesn't have ANY real friends, and the one he does have, he constantlysays [Edited Out] about him to my mom, and then goes and places his world to the feet of this friend (btw this friend isnt alll that amazing either, but least he isnt a [Edited Out] bag like my dad( believe me i know)). when i was younger he used to physically abuse and hurt my mom, and he used to hit me too. he even went to saying that I also have a boyfriend when all i did was go upstairs to get a book (apparently there was some guy at the balcony opposite to our house, and i was " trying to communicate with him". i didnt take this lightly and raised voice and finger and started hitting me and dragged me down the stairs, and just like my nine year old self, i wanted to die and just kept repeating ' should have jusy killed me you ass' (this was two years ago). we had video camerasn around the house so mom opened them up, and showed i had done no such thing. he didnt apologise, he didnt even do anything to show remorse, instead justified everything from thefact that a raised my voise and held my finger up. a year ago, i was upset with him for another reason, and i told my mom. i told her to leave it that it was whatever, ill get over it. but she bought it up, and we got into an argument, and i do admit i shouldnt have misbehaved again (only verbally like raising my voice or rolling my eyes) but he got so aggressive and tried to slap me so i stopped him and threw his hand away,,, he went to the kitchen and got a knife , and all i could think agout was my mom cause she was trying to stop him and he kept saying "THIS IS WHY YOU SEE FATHERS KILLING THEIR DAUGHTERs ON THE NEWS" and "YOUVE TAAUGHT THEM NOTNHING YOUNSELFISH, USELESS, (swear word, more swear words, swearing at her family)". a couple a days ago, hes started fighting with her again even though its my international exams that make up my grade for my university. in the morning i woke up to my mom begging him to just stop cause he kept saying "i know what you do, i know your actions, i know your disgusting behaviour" (btw we know that this craziness is over once he just starts getting , ok? like it just dies down). as a child, id always step in, even get a few slaps if i had to to get in between him hurting her, but ive grown now and know my duties given to me by Allah, about respecting my parents, and getting in between ( my mom also keeps saying its just two more years, you'll be off to uni then and everything will be fine, and ' pls dont waste my sacrifices' everytime i want to interfere (hes threatened stopping me from studying several times). ever since i was small my dad has told me to aim for a scholarship because he knew more abput this stuff, but now i think, would he even let me leave the city let alone country to continue studies? hes rejected going to a psychologist, talking to anybody (he doesnt believe he has a problem, he thinks my moms the problem) about this, he says we make him angry and that before marriage he was never like this ( he has changed a lot in the sense that my mom and i can wear clothes like jeans but only with long shirts (my moms always worn a duppatta over her head (covers her hair)). cant get my dads side involved firstly, theyd love this. secondly, theyre all like this themselves. his sisters do burka andd all but theyre always free to go wherever whenever, meet whoever. they sometimes go ariund with this 'pir' (guy who does black magic) but if we point that out, all hell would brreak loose on us. (his sisters got married to two brothers, so same household). theyre background is from a not even respectable village, so i cant count on them. cant tell my moms side, they already have their own financial and family issues (my mom doesnt want us four to become a drama in our family, whatever that means cause like our house isnt already a drama). sometimes my mom gets so fed up, she says "MAY Allah TAKE ME SO YOU (my dad) CAN HAPPY AND MARRY ANOTHER WIFE" and now hes started saying " may he, so you burn in hell". he says all these other wives are so obedient and nice, but shes not. he says the money my mom brings in holds no value to him, even though she doesnt get to use it, he uses it all, our groceries and school fees are payed with it (oh and he hasnt had a job in years, sells plots and gets profit, but now none of that is working either so the 'no valued' monry shes been bringijng in since 6 years, is all that is coming into our house. hes in the world where Allah has made him the ' man' of this household, however he doesnt fulfill the duties and says my mom is the reason why there are no blessings in her house. he tells her to leaveher job, and says Allah will provide us with the money, that we'll be fine without hers (our fees are cut 75% short because of her, and we get house groceries, petrol for the car, and whatnot from her salary and our rent (which again is none of his own hardwork, our grandfather gave us this house)). i know this is very long, but please help me. ive thought about killing myself from the age of 7 to 14, i even used to self harm thinking if he saw me in the state hes put my mind in the pressure and the mistreatement (moms mistreatement is what gets to me, he doesnt do much to my brothers except for the middle one whom he thought wasnt his and rejected him emotionally for four years and now hes become habitual on scolding him the most, and my brother knows my dad rejects him the most but all he does is get upst over it). ive been so patient these pasts months, but ive had enough. this morning i walked in on them , half sleep, holding everything i could grab (like spray bottles, perfumes, my bloody mascara botle) to throw it at him because it seemed llike he was gonna get physical again. please help me, please please pplease
  3. Salamalikum brothers and sisters, I was doing a presentation on Imam Ali a.s and I need a picture of his father Abu talib ibn Abd al-Muttalib as I cannot find it anywhere. If you have multiple as well that would be great, shukraan and may peace be upon you.
  4. Sabbooo1

    Death of a mother/father

    How do you console your friend who lost their mother? true islamically we say may Allah grant you sabr. what are other means of making a person feel better ?
  5. Guest

    Dua for my father

    I need a supplication for cure from his sickness. I want a dua so that he gets cured. Please pray for him.
  6. The father is the reason of the existence of a child. It means without him, we did not even exist. So, it is not surprising that the father has some specific rights over children. According Islamic teachings, the overall strategy of children for parents should be based on being kind to them. In this regard the holy Quran has said: “…And that ye be kind to parents.” [17:23] But the quality of doing good to parents should be searched in the traditions of Prophet and his learned progeny. The seventh Imam of the Muslims Imam Kazim said: “A man asked the Noble Prophet about the right of a father incumbent upon his child. The Prophet replied: "He should not call his father by his name, and he should not walk ahead of him, He should not sit down before he does, and should not do things to cause his father to be blamed or sworn at." (Usul al-Kafi, v.2, p.158)
  7. Salam Alaykum. Im talking to a woman about getting married. We want to get engaged in october/november and do the nikkah to able to be with eachother before the wedding/party. We have a hard time holding the desires back, so we want to get married. But it has to wait because she just got out of a relationship (We cant make it official because of the guy she had been with before. He can be aggressive) We've been together before and have now found eachother again. Here is my story from before: So my question here is, can we get married without her fathers consent? She is not a virgin (zina) and because we have a hard time waiting we wanna just get married to stop committing sins.
  8. ZelzelehAndFigs

    Respecting Parents

    Salam Alaikum Everyone, Okay sooooo I know it is our islamic duty to respect our parents at all times, in all situations etc. but, but. My mother is an emotionally/verbally abusive person who has anger management issues. I know I sound like a whiny child but every since I was very young she treated me as if I had the mental capacity to understand certain issues that a child doesn't at that age. This could be related to the fact that she was single and probably craving adult understanding. She is extremely explosive and never admits to making any sort of mistake. She blames me constantly for her mistakes and when I defend myself, tells me that I am being disgustingly rude and ungrateful. I appreciate everything she has done for me (raised me as a single mother while juggling a full time career) but the way she treats me contributed to so many mental health problems that she again, became angry with me for. All this changed slightly when she remarried another man but anyway, How much do I have to respect her? and am I obliged to respect her husband as a "father"?
  9. Assalam o Alaikum I am a 24 year old business grad and I have graduated from a top university in Pakistan. I have a decent paying job Alhamdulilah plus I run my own online business which earns alot MashaAllah. I am in a mess. I have been in a relationship with a fellow classmate who also happens to be a shia. I have been in love with her for several years and I have always wanted to marry her. We have been formally in a relationship since the past 3 years. Also in a temporary marriage for the past 1 year. The time period of our contractual marriage ends on 28th Feb. We have shared a severe physical plus emotional relationship. We havent had intercourse though but we have been in all other kinds of sexual relationship. She is the only person in this world I am attached to and she has been my motivation to achieve whatever I have achieved in life. I am a Shia Syed but my mother comes from a non syed background plus a sunni family. She has converted to Shia Islam Alhamdulilah and is a fully practicing Shia. I sent a proposal on 10th Rabiulawal and all went smoothly. The girl's father is very strict so we sent the proposal without telling the girls father that we both liked each other. My parents knew everything and were very understanding. The girls mother also knew that her daughter liked me but was unaware of the severity of her liking. I didnt go with my parents to her house. Instead my parents requested their parents to come at our place and meet me. The girls dad became suspicious of the rishta and suspected that his daughter had some interest in me. He deliberately avoided coming to meet me. He tricked the girls mother to tell him that his daughter liked me. As soon as he found out he got angry and got her committed to someone else. By committed I mean a verbal agreement to get her married to someone else. He didnt even meet me. He has issues with my mom being an ex sunni and her being a non syed. I am a Syed since my father is a syed. Plus he has the other issue of not allowing a love marriage. The girl is very weak and accepted her fathers decision. She called me and told me that she cant disappoint her parents and that I should forget her and move on because her father would never agree. I feel cheated and betrayed because she swore on God that she wont marry anyone else. The father has ego issues and cant allow love marriage because he believes that the society would talk bad about him since he has this image of being a strict person. Her dad is very stubborn. My dad tried to meet her dad but he called him and told him that he doesnt want to talk on this matter anymore. Her parents dont know the severity of our relationship. They dont know that we were physically involved or were in a mutah. She says that she cant tell them. She has cut off all communication from me. She also worked in the same workplace as me but resigned immediately after this incident. She doesn't have her phone anymore as her mother took it from her. As far as I know the guy she has been hooked with lives abroad and it would take a few months for him to come back and then the Nikkah to happen. The guy who she has been engaged to is unaware of the entire situation. Not only they are being unfair with me they are also being unfair with another family who have no idea about the situation. I have been mentally disturbed I cry all day all night. I am so attached to her that I just cant move on. We have literally been living together for 7 years. Being together in school plus university and then talking all night. Everyone says that it is now impossible for anything to happen. But I have been praying a lot. I have been reciting several duas, have been asking God for forgiveness, staying away from all kinds of sins. I believe that nothing is impossible for God. Duas change destiny. I have been reading Ziarat e Ashura, Dua e Alqama, Dua e Tawassul, Dua Yastasheer on a daily basis alongside the obligatory prayers. Please advice as to what other Duas i can read. Someone who has been in a similar situation like me and read some dua which turned impossible to possible? I am desperate for prayers. Moreover, I also want to know my rights as her temporary husband. The girl is my wife till 28th Feb and she got engaged during this period to another guy. I cant understand how a girl who has been so physically involved with me even imagine of getting married to any1 else. But she has always been very weak and she just cant stand up to her father no matter what. Do I have any Islamic rights in the above mentioned scenario? As her husband? Please also give some advice about powerful duas which have proven results. Also a dua which could change her fathers heart or decision. This is a very difficult time for me and I am extremely disturbed emotionally. I know this difficulty is a result of the sins I have committed. I am repenting sincerely and hope that God forgives me. I strongly believe in the power of dua. But everyone around me tells me to stop hoping and to start to move on. I cant keep on praying plus move on at the same time. What should I do? Please advice. Please pray that the father agrees. It would be a miracle but nothing is impossible for God. Also recommend some duas. JazakAllah
  10. Hello, My name is Aman. I am born to two of the MOST RELIGIOUS families of Karachi, Pakistan. I am the great grandson of SHAH ABDUL LATIF BHITTAI (Mother's Side), and i am also the great grandson of MORSHA BAADSHAH - ROHRI (Father's Side). I am a complete believer and i have great Love for Mola Ali a.s. I respect every branch of Shia Islam. I am 15 and i am truly fed up of my house. I have two sisters and both my parents and i live in a joint family. i am really weak in studies though i was a contant topper in Dubai but since i shifted back to pakistan, it has been really difficult for me to cope in studies. i get taunted everyday by my parents upon my poor results and they scold and beat me every single time. i also misbehave sometimes to be honest but i regret it asap. i feel like running away but it is quite unsafe here in pakistan. can i have a valid solution to this ridiculous family issue !
  11. According to the Islamic Laws, are parents obligated to help their children or are they merely recommended to do so? Can a father refuse to give the 3rd right of his child, which is marriage? can he say he won't pay for the marriage? Since one of the rights of children over parents is marriage, but when I asked my dad a few months ago, he was surprised I knew it and he tried to say that I have no rights on him lol. But now I know, so is he obligated to find me a spouse or pay for the wedding if I have already found a person to marry? Even after a son is married, is the father obligated to sustain his son and his wife until he is able to stand on his own feet? Because when I won the argument and my dad couldn't deny that I had a right on him to get me married, He then said no based on the fact that I may not be able to sustain my own wife, and he said he isn't going to get me married then pay for my marriage. He is worried that if I marry then I will just sleep at home all day (not what I intend). I know the father isn't obliged to sustain his son's wife but wouldn't the wife's expenses be a part of the son's expenses? And I want to know if it is an obligation (Wajib) on the father to sustain his son? or is it just a recommendation?
  12. can someone please give me the ayat, hadeeth of fatwa where it states that a woman cannot be forced into wearing hijab, but that it should be from her own free will. JazakAllah Khairan for your answers (wasalam)
  13. For the sisters on here who have converted but did not tell their parents, how has that gone for you? Have you been able to get married? If you arent married yet, how do you plan to get married without your parents knowing you are shia?... I really dont want to tell them but I feel like I'll have to when time for marriage comes because I dont want to marry a sunni for the fear of converting back just to keep the peace in the house.... Also, my family is literally one of the ones you will see on a desi drama on tv -.- not to mention they arent fond of shias..... which is the main reason I dont wish to tell them among other reasons. When I went hijabi, it was so horrible, no one in my family supported me except my father (who later started to be more on my mom's side) and my brother( allhumdulilah for me having him <3) It was just way too crazy, there were manyy days i would get hurtful remarks on wearing the hijab and cry because strangers respected my hijab more than my family and hijab is not even a bad thing in sunnism, but i can only imagine how bad it would be if i told my family i was shia :(
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