In the Name of God بسم الله
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Assalamualaikum. Ya Ali (عليه السلام) Madad. I hope this message finds you well. I would like to share a deeply personal experience that I have undergone, seeking clarity and guidance from an Islamic perspective. About five years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a remarkable girl online. She is a zakira, devoted to reciting majalis throughout the year. We developed a strong connection over time, nurturing our relationship despite the physical distance between us. We've met sometimes tho. Unfortunately, our journey together took an unexpected turn when faced with a challenging situation. Before delving into this, allow me to provide some context. I have an elder sister who remains unmarried. The girl I was in love with and I aspired to marry one another. However, I held the belief that my sister's marriage should take precedence, delaying our own plans until she found a suitable partner. Despite our sincere intentions, we struggled to find a suitable match for my sister, leading to a prolonged wait. As time went on, the girl I cared for started receiving marriage proposals from other suitors. She expressed her concern to me, emphasizing the urgency of addressing our own relationship's future. She insisted that I approach my family about our desire to marry, or she would have no choice but to consider other proposals. Taking her words to heart, I initiated a conversation with my mother about our intentions. It is important to note that my father had passed away a few years prior, leaving me with the responsibility of communicating our intentions to my mother alone. To my dismay, my mother's initial response was one of rejection and unwarranted criticism against the girl's character. This reaction deeply pained me. This was the first instance I had witnessed such behavior from my mother, as she had always been kind and understanding. I found it difficult to reconcile the fact that the person I held in high regard could harbor such prejudice against someone I deeply loved. I embarked on a mission to convince my mother, invoking the significance of compassion and fairness emphasized in Islamic teachings. I reminded her that hasty judgments and character defamation were strictly prohibited, especially without sufficient knowledge about the person in question. I beseeched my mother to consider the qualities of the girl I loved, and to view our relationship with an open heart. I implored her to evaluate the situation fairly, placing trust in the values she had instilled in me over the years. The ensuing weeks were challenging as I balanced my deep affection for the girl I loved and my commitment to respect and honor my mother's wishes. Eventually, the emotional strain led to a point where my mother urged me to leave the house, coupled with the threat of being disinherited. In that moment of despair, I confided in my sister, who assured me that she would manage the situation and find a solution. Trusting her, I shared the girl's contact details with my sister, who took the initiative to speak with her father. Tragically, my sister's actions were contrary to what I had hoped for. She approached the girl's father and persuaded him to distance his daughter from me. This revelation shattered me completely, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. I felt utterly isolated, with thoughts of suicide clouding my mind as I believed I had lost everything dear to me. In the aftermath of these events, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and a deep sense of loss. The girl I had envisioned a future with was now united with another, my relationship with my mother and sister had suffered irreparable damage, and the trust I once held for my loved ones was shattered. For the past two years, I have tried to mend the broken ties with my mother and sister. While some semblance of normalcy has returned to our interactions, it is undeniable that the dynamics have forever changed. Their actions have left scars that continue to affect our relationship, leaving me feeling conflicted about the love and respect I once held for them. Their insistence that I seek forgiveness for a transgression I fail to comprehend only deepens my internal struggle. As I reflect on my journey, one question remains at the forefront of my mind: What guidance does Islam provide for individuals facing such intricate and emotionally charged situations? I yearn for clarity on how to navigate this turmoil in a way that aligns with my faith. My earnest aspiration is to eventually establish financial stability, enabling me to make the difficult choice of parting ways with my family and seeking a life of my own. I am genuinely appreciative of any insights or wisdom you might be able to offer, grounded in Islamic teachings and values. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for considering my plea for guidance.
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- family issue
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I had always had a strong connection and chemistry with someone i had known and grown up with all my life, we had a relaltionship when we were younger at around 13-14 we were both young and stupid and got caught by my mother, then last year it all started again, we love each other so much and we both still do, things started to get serious really quickly, he said he wants to get married and i agreed, anyways things got serious really quickly and he convinced me that we would be together no matter what even though we both knew we would have massive problems with our parents accepting us, but i still believed and trusted him, unfortunately i allowed for the worst to happen, we both committed zina and fornication without nikkah, this now means i am no longer a pure girl. months went by and things were going great except for his parents who were strongly against me simply because they did not like me and they wanted a bride from their home land. two weeks before my birthday he stopped talking to me, i was really confused and i didn't know why, he broke up with me because of his parents and he said that he is going to get married to the person they desire only because he does not want to disrespect his parents for Allah's sake, but what about me ? he has basically ruined my life if he marries another, how am i supposed to get married to someone else like this? what will my parents do when they find out from a future husband? does respecting his parents outweigh leaving me like this with no future? anyway, he is about to go and get nikkah with someone very shortly, my mother found out about our recent relationship and she asked if we had commited zina or fornication but i was too afraid to tell her the truth, she said that it will ruin your honour, our families honour, and your future, i really wanted to tell her that we did fornicate and commit zina but i was so scared, what do i do ? do i tell her? do i leave it? please please help me as he is going to get married soon and i dont want to be too late to take action
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