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  1. Hello I'm an Iraqi girl living aboard. I come from a very common Shia family where we pray and follow Islam i our daily life, u know dua kumayl every Thursday. I'm a middle child, always happy, try to make everyone needs before mine, never ever had a problem in school and have good reputation i my city. You can say that I'm daddys girl, we are very close. I'm the first child in the household to have an education and did go to uni and I have fulltime job and doing my masters. I have two older siblings, sister and a brother who are married to irakies (they choose their partners aka cusins). and 4 younger sillings. The problem is: five years ago, I met guy from another country, is sunni, and have another ethnicity. We got along very well and been together since then. We decide to make it official, and he talked to his family and I talked to mine. My family and especially my dad got very angry and said no. My dad scream and we had huge fight. My mom wasn't on my side and said that your dads is the chooser. My brother and sister were to against too it because my brother hated the county that guys was from and always badmouthed him and religion and country, The second time we talk to my parent we tried to talk to my dad through his friends who also know the guy. My dad said no, and we got into huge fight that my dad actually hit me and told me to forget about him. We keeps our relationship secret again but this time we are trying again. I'm scared to bring up the conversation because my parent thinks its over between us. Side information, my dad and brother doesn't want to meet him and always say that he's selling drugs and is Daish which I know it's not true. The guy even said that he doesn't have problem to change side and become. The guys family is in his homeland. What should I do? I really can't see my life without him or my family... ps sorry for my bad english.
  2. I was wondering about the process of burying someone, like right from the moment a person's soul leaves their body, what happens next to said body? Is it just buried right then and there? Are there steps and procedures before the burial? How is the family informed? And how long after they are informed is the burial carried out? How long can a body stay before being buried? - I'd like to know the Islamic process and answers to this if possible. Thank you
  3. Asalamun Alaikum I need advice on my situation as I don't know who to go to I am married for almost 4 years. After the first year I have been having problems in the house I live with my in laws in the starting it wasn't difficult but as days go by it is becoming extremely difficult to live with them as i am not given any respect, even the house help is given more respect the me and that's why even the house help disrespects me. And as for my husband he doesn't support me and when I tell him all this the only thing he will do is listen and that's it nor reaction or any action being taken about it. I don't know what to do or what to feel anymore Please give me some advice
  4. Hello. First of all, English is not my main language of communication, so if there is something you didn't understand about my post, please do mention it and I will try to simplify it. I need advice in the matter of my family. I am a very temperamental person and loose my cool very easily if someone offends me. I am the older one of my siblings but they don't respect me and they bicker with me all the time. I try to ignore it and be the bigger person, but when it comes to them insulting me I won't sit and listen to it. Instead of turning the other cheek I respond with two fists ready to fight. I know it's wrong and recently I have tried to remain calm during these situations; sometimes successful, most of the times not. It disappoints me deeply that my parents almost never react in any way to the insults and disrespect by siblings towards me, on the contrary, they side with the siblings and turn the whole situation to make me the bad guy. I yell at my parents at these events and on rare occations curse them. I have repented and fallen back into my old habits multiple times. I know God is fair, but I can't help but think that I'm in a very unfair situation: siblings don't respect me and use disgusting words about me, parents don't do anything about it and when lose my temper I'm the one who will be punished by God, all my prayers and fasts are in vain because I shout at them (parents). What should I do from a religious perspective? Am I the wrong one? I have thought about cutting ties with the whole family once I get financially independent and move out, but cutting ties is (apparently) also haram. I feel that I'm in a loop where I will do haram regardless of my decisions. Thanks for reading.
  5. Salam un alykum everyone Hope you all are doing well. I have some questions regarding intercultural marriage and how can you interact during engagement period in an appropriate way, where are the limits regarding Islamic laws? What are some important things you should consider before marrying someone from different culture background? How do you overcome cultural differences/ language issues in marriage? Lately I'm hearing a lot of negative comments about intercultural marriage... like "it won't last long, because of some of some differences"..."you don't speak same language"...."you won't be accepted by the in-laws"..."you will be the outsider..." I'm quite worried so if someone can give me any helpful advice...or if someone has experience with intercultural marriage...that would be great Waslam
  6. Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Who else is religiously-inclined, but has been born into a less-than-religious family? Those of us who have been face a unique set of challenges which our brothers and sisters blessed with virtuous families do not. At the same time, our experiences differ from, but can certainly find inspiration in, those of reverts. InshaAllah we will all pass such Divine tests with patience and wisdom. Does anyone, at any stage of life, currently have a similar experience? Inshallah we can all benefit from knowing the experiences of brothers and sisters who were born in less-than-religious families. Wa salam
  7. Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters, I have a few questions regarding my name. I am a revert, and I have chosen a full new name. My chosen surname is Al-Noor. (BACKGROUND) I have read recently that I should keep my father’s surname. There are a few issues with this. The first is that he changed his own name before I was born. His new surname has no connection to his own background. The second is that he specifically changed his surname as a means of distancing himself from his own father. So I can’t just use what his original name was. The third issue is that the name I have chosen is not of my own heritage (Italian and Jewish), but neither is my father’s current surname. The fourth is that even without all of these issues, my father’s original surname explicitly denotes a Jewish priestly class, and I don’t think having such a name is proper for a Muslim. My parents are also displeased that I have chosen an Arabic first name. I always hated my birth name (especially as its short form is derived from a polytheist mythical figure) and I have created a new identity for myself upon reverting, which is embodied by my Islamic name. My father does not care if I change my surname, but he wants me to keep my first name. I have been living as my full Islamic name for years now. It’s the name on my diplomas and my publications in my field and the name everybody else calls me but my parents. I do not want to upset my parents, but I have my own life, religion, and identity now. I want to start my legal name change process soon in shaa Allah. It is too confusing to have a legal name and a completely different common name, especially when it comes to employment. My questions are: 1. Is “Al-Noor” a permissible surname, Islamically-speaking? It is a Name of Allah, but I know that “Noor” is a very common name for Muslims. Does the “al” prefix affect permissibility? 2. Is it permissible to change my surname to a name that has no connection with my father’s line nor ethnic heritage, given the circumstances? 3. How can I balance my parents’ wishes with my own identity? As my father’s new surname is actually a feminine first name nowadays, I was thinking about making it a second middle name as a gesture of respect while maintaining my Islamic full name. 4. Am I just thinking too far into this and finding problems where there are none? Thank you for reading this whole thing. Salawat
  8. Asalam aleykum dear brothers and sisters. I have an Islamic question that fits my personal situation. I want to have more information about how to handle my situation. It's as follows: I live in the Netherlands and my wife lives in Pakistan. We've been married for over a year now. In the Netherlands I study and in 2 years I will be finishing my study. Then I can work and get my wife to the Netherlands ( due to my stable income) Each year I visit my wife in the summer during holidays. Then we will also sleep together. But the problem is that her parents don't allow me and her to have intercourse with each other. We are allowed to sleep together but we aren't allowed to have intercourse. I don't know what to do. Because in Islamic point of view having intercourse is legal. It's even illegal to deny sexual feelings for each other while being married. On the other hand having intercourse will be against the will of her parents. Also I will break their trust. I hope you can help me out with this question. Greetings, Jawad
  9. I got angry and my mom and in my anger I told her I will not speak to her for 2 days. Problem is, this will be difficult for me to do and I am pretty sure its a sin to do this as im misbehaving with a blood relative but if I speak, wouldn't that be considered a lie? It seems I can’t leave this situation without commiting a sin. What should I do?
  10. my mother is from Shia family and my father was sunny( passed away 3 years ago). now some of my mother's friends from her sec talk to her for her second marriage. and I heard some things about contract marriage in Shia sect. and I am not in favour of that my mother do that kind of marriage. I want to know that is there any kind of marriage allowed in Shia sect.??
  11. What is our duties as Shia Muslims to our Sunni relatives? Will we be held accountable for not informing or showing them the right way? Must we educate them on how correctly to perform wudu and salah? If we accept they are still Muslim as Sunnis, can they still enter Jannah on their current beliefs?
  12. I'm an 18 year old female, and in the future I might be living away from home for university and then maybe a job. One of my friends (also Shia) says that after a certain age of maturity we should be able to live our own life without asking our parents for permission and burdening them. That we should get a job and move elsewhere (even during university or for university). I don't have an issue personally (neither do my parents) on that part, but they believe that if only I'm going abroad for my studies it would be fine. And I know alot of you are going to say that that's not allowed for a girl either, okay I get it. But that's not the topic at hand right now. I don't know how to answer her. Like is it allowed to live independently? Does it have to include your parents permission? If the guys can do it, why can't the women? (I'm not saying this out of "EQUALITY FOR ALL", because I know why there can't be complete equality and it's ridiculous to believe so. It's more of a "why" the difference) Also, what if you come from an abusive household and leaving there is better for you to keep your sanity. Should the girl still stay? And no, no family member is willing to help, no community people, no marja. Just you. So what then? Just endure it, like they've endured it for the rest of their life, until marriage? (I'm so against the enduring part, the "have patience" part. I've seen so many women in my life suffer for no reason. Literally they could get out, but there's no support other than themselves. So I'm really hoping no one says that)
  13. Salam Aleykum, I am a 23 year old girl who live in the UK. I graduated university this year and among other things met a man that I can finally see as my future husband, I am completely and utterly in love with him because he was able to put a smile on my face in a period nobody else could. For my studies I relocated to London alone as a result I stayed here for nearly five years away from my family, meeting occasionally a few times a year. Alhamdullah I am successful in my career and was successful in my studies and I am from a sort of open-minded family hence, the did not mind me staying here to see my future although I am alone and I do feel very lonely at times but they have never pressured me for marriage and I was not ready. However, this has now changed and I am most certain about the guy I have met, he is Shia Muslim from a good family treats me like I deserve but the only issue would be that he is not Arab, like myself. I am from Iraq and he is from Pakistan and this is the only difference between me and him. I tried to speak to my mum over the phone just telling her that I am in love and want to get married, she told me off immediately and basically in very simple words told me that SHE will NEVER approve no matter what and that if I desperately wanted to go ahead with the marriage I am more than welcome to but she did not want anything to do with me past that. Now he reasons my mum is furious is that I brought a guy from a completely different country meaning he has different cultures and traditions but also most importantly he will have a MAJOR language barrier with my family as there is NO language in common whatsoever. But to me this isn't an issue body language and eye contact can say more than verbal words. I want my parents approval please advice me, help me, I do not want to get married without their consent. How can I convince my father who has never missed a prayer or a day of fasting that rejecting this man because he is not arab is so haram. How can I convince him. If you have had similiar experience please advice.
  14. salam everyone, i recently advised my friend to not do something and she still did it. i spoke to her so many times she was doing something really wrong and if she got caught it will be bad. she did not listen and suddenly she forgot about her religion completely, she also starting disrespecting her parents and lived a careless life. she drifted about because of this but i was still disappointed and just wanted to her to go back to how she was. so i pretended that she did get caught doing an act and she was very embarrassed but was still lying about everything. she's really upset right now (but hasn't learnt her lesson due to saying she's not going to stop) but i feel really ashamed and i regret it because i feel like i exposed her sin which i am not meant to, i feel like Allah is already planning to get me back and my heart feels heavy with so much regret but i love her and i just wanted to protect her, i wanted her to go back to religion and being a smart girl but i didn't know that its going to hurt her so much. is what i did a big sin? I've always been very nice and this made me feel like a horrible person with good intentions but still so horrible and its not a good feeling at all.
  15. salam everyone. im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope. thanks in advance everyone x
  16. When all is set and done and we make it to our final destination, will we remember anything from this life that we had lived? The people in it, family, friends, spouses, children, the relations, the emotions, the pain, the pleasure, the negative, the positive. Or will Allah make us forget everything? Will Allah let us keep the memories? Will we forget the people we couldn't have in this world due to the circumstances and sacrifices we made? Can we have all types of Non-Shia people in our lives that were here over up there, be it friends, a person we loved and wished to marry but couldn't?
  17. I would be interested to see why you got married and what your reason was and was it with the person you dreamed of ? My reason for marriage is I want my Wife to be my best mate and Truly enjoy Life together ; Also I am very Anxious and nervous when I am lonely in times when I am not around family and friends and getting married in the future would greatly help as well as having the most amount of fun at the same time with the best person in the world. That would be my reason. What was yours ? To have kids ? You found your true love ? You got arranged by your Parents ? Travel around the world with someone ? ...... Oh and if you dont mind what age at ?
  18. Bismillah Salaam Unfortunately, my family is in a sort of turmoil like state, due to parental issues, and "grand-parental" issues... As the middle child and the first son, bearing the burden of studies and social life is already very painful. With the addition of dealing with the psychological pain caused by family issues, life has become indeed very much painful for me. Due to having a lot of empathy, I often hurt a lot due to parental issues and issues of siblings... Sometimes it gets out of hand, and I utter something unpleasant in front of them, even if it is the truth, as I my mind wants someone to listen to me so they can stop being part of the problem. This is exactly what happened very recently, and it has caused great pain to my parents and to me as well, to the point from which there may be no return. I have turned to Allah for help, and to the Prophet SAWW and his progeny AS. I have prayed quite a bit for swift betterment, and am now in search of a Dua that can help resolve such family issues. Therefore I am here to ask you all, if you know any Dua for the resolution of family issues, as I am in dire need for one. JazakAllah. TLDR; I need a Dua to solve family issues urgently. JazakAllah. W. Salaam
  19. Salam Alaykum, Please i hope as many sisters as possible read this and give me their opinion... your help is much appreciated ! I am a revert shia muslim sister and I am 25 years old. I have been married for less than one year to my husband and when i agreed to marry him I accepted to live with his family : his mother who is a housewife and she is divorced, his 16 yo sister, his two brothers of which one is mentally disable. One of his brother is married and was meant to move out soon but he didn't yet so atm I wear my hijab every day when he is at home. Even if I get along very well with his mum and family, I find it now too hard to live with this arrangement. as i feel i don't have much personal space and sometimes enough privacy or enough quiet ; can't always do my own things, cooking or cleaning expecially their mum is housewife so she is the one who mostly looks after them and manages the house . Also, i am not used to live with a disable person (down syndrome) and sometimes it gets difficult..and on top of that the fact that I still have to wear hijab around the house every day.. they also sometimes invite male friends and it makes me feel ubcomfortable and of course i cant mix so i have to stay the whole time in my room I get very frustrated and I am often sad . Sometimes I feel like I need a break but I can't even go anywhere as I am pretty much alone in this country and if i want to go stay at my parents I need to take a plane. What makes me feel much worse is the fact that my husband don't understand me ...instead he says i am always exagerating, making it much bigger than it is, blaming me for everything for my negativity for my feeling sad... He also constantly tells me that i m the lucky and privileged one to be with him and his family and that there are many girls who would live like me . I honestly don't believe any born muslim girl would have accepted to marry someone and live like I do ... we didn't even have a wedding...my mahr was low .. i married him purely because i wanted to be with him.. I tried to accept it, but now this has become too much and the fact that he doesnt understand me just makes it impossible for me to go on like this Please sisters tell me honestly ?Would you ever accept to be living like i do?
  20. As salaam alaykum I am a young sister living in a western country. My whole family is born and raised Shias. I obviously go to school, but I can't say that my grades are great. I've got really bad grades before as well, and when my dad saw them he got mad and beat me up. Before asking why mom doesn't do anything. She obviously tries to stop him but he ends up with hitting her as well. I'm not talking about a slap, I am talking about full on beating up. Now in my situation I don't really have any of my mom's side of the family here, my dad's side of the family wouldn't really do much if I told them. Obviously as a Shia, in many muslim communities they don't really do much about things like this. He has done it before but now it's worse than ever. He has threatened to forcefully marry me off when I turn 18, (I'm 16, almost 17) and to send me to another country. I have been born and raised in a western country. For some this may just seem like a threat, but I don't doubt him actually doing this. He also threatened to throw me out of the house but my mom stopped him. I don't know what to do, honestly a part of me has started to hate him. He says a lot of bad things to me such as you've always been a trouble since the day you were born and all that. He isn't like this everyday but it happens whenever he gets mad at me. I was so close to telling somebody, but I didn't. If I tell someone, I'll most likely will be put in foster care, but then I don't know what he'll do to my mom and sibling, and I don't want to go away from her. And she'll probably be mad at me if I do. I don't have a phone right now either so I'm writing this on my laptop. But I'm really scared, and I don't know what to do. Please keep me and my family in your Duas.
  21. okay so I really don't know how to start all of this... I am a 19 year old girl, started wearing a hijab when I turned 13 years old - Me, still super young, didn't have any idea what was happening, somehow got forced into wearing it because everyone scared me. or let me just say, there was no other option. Turning 15, I told my parents that I didn't want to wear it anymore. They got extremely mad, my mom cried her heart out, it was like seeing them have a mental breakdown. I got really scared so I kept wearing it. Turning 18 and starting uni, which also made me live in a different country, I decided to just tell them that I'm taking it off and did it. The problem here is, that I can't bear seeing my mom cry... And I can't talk to her either about this topic.. Born and raised in Europe, which zero arabic friends, makes it way too hard for me to actually wer hijab with everyone around you judging and treating in such a different way... She just doesn't get it. I really don't know what to do in that kind of situation... I really don't want to force myself to do something I'm super uncomfortable with but I don't want to see my mom cry and know that she's sad. It just breaks my heart and makes me cry myself into sleep.. I'm really clueless.. I just found that forum because I can't talk to anyone about this. Does anyone maybe have an idea what I could do right now?.. Am I just "forced" to wear it? is there no other way out?
  22. Salam, I have a question In Wasail al-Shia we find - "Amir ul-Mu’minīn Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) says, “Angels do not even enter a house that has wine, drum, tambourine or a flute. Even the prayers of the inhabitants of this house are unacceptable. They are deprived of barakat.” I don't listen to music at all and I know it's haram, but my family members play it and I ask them to stop but they don't. Does this mean my prayers are not accepted? I know of the Quranic verse which says that no soul shall be punished for another's actions... but the hadith is very clear..
  23. As salam aleykum my brothers and sisters in religion and in humanity. I converted to the religion of Islam more than a month ago and I have encountered some difficulties with family members. My mother who I first told months prior to taking my shahada that I wanted to convert to the religion of Islam was at first very accepting of this idea but I believe she thought it was all just a phase. After I took my shahada she seemed disappointed that I had made such a move and I know her fear comes only from a place of love and concern but I want to show her that this was a positive thing and I will be better as a person in the long run due to this change. My father is a traditional Aussie bloke and although very accepting and kind to Muslims in person he is easily influenced by what is said on television. I asked my mother not to tell him or any of our extended family of this change because I am so scared of being treated differently by these people who I love and respect. Any advice in showing my parents and extended family how its all gonna be OK? Any good talking points that I can use to help them accept this new change?
  24. Assalamualikum everyone, I'm a shia in taqyah and my parents especially my mother is a shiahater "on the way of becoming a nasibi". I have read before about a dua by imam jafar al sadiq as about a duaa for nasibi parents so that may Allah would guide them to the truth, so is there a duaa like that? Oh and i desperately need everyone's prayers cause the pressure on me because of her doubts that i'm a shia is unbearable. Pray for me to have strength and patience.
  25. Assalam o alaikum. My grandfather, who I was extremely close to, passed away in 2014 while abroad. When I was a child, he'd always give me notebooks, calendars and pens that he received from work. Here's something that's been bugging me for four long years, and I know it sounds crazy, which is why I decided to ask. A few days after he passed away, I was in his study (I used to be the only one allowed to touch his things :')), going through his notebooks sentimentally. I took one of those notebooks - one that he'd made a few lists in on the first few pages - and started using it to write letters to him about how I felt and stuff. One day, I left it in the living room and went to sleep. I don't remember if this was the same day I started writing or a few days later, but the next morning when I opened the notebook to write in it again, there was a sticky note on the inside cover that said "for Mahnoor" (that's my name) in his handwriting. I'm positive it wasn't there before. And he wouldn't give me a notebook he had already used. So i was wondering, is it possible he actually put that note there after he died? I swear to Allah, I'm not making this up. Can the passed away interact with this world's objects like that? Or was I mistaken because I was so emotional at the time? Thank you for your time. I'm sorry this was such a long question.
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