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Found 63 results

  1. Guest

    Language barrier to marriage

    Salam Aleykum, I am a 23 year old girl who live in the UK. I graduated university this year and among other things met a man that I can finally see as my future husband, I am completely and utterly in love with him because he was able to put a smile on my face in a period nobody else could. For my studies I relocated to London alone as a result I stayed here for nearly five years away from my family, meeting occasionally a few times a year. Alhamdullah I am successful in my career and was successful in my studies and I am from a sort of open-minded family hence, the did not mind me staying here to see my future although I am alone and I do feel very lonely at times but they have never pressured me for marriage and I was not ready. However, this has now changed and I am most certain about the guy I have met, he is Shia Muslim from a good family treats me like I deserve but the only issue would be that he is not Arab, like myself. I am from Iraq and he is from Pakistan and this is the only difference between me and him. I tried to speak to my mum over the phone just telling her that I am in love and want to get married, she told me off immediately and basically in very simple words told me that SHE will NEVER approve no matter what and that if I desperately wanted to go ahead with the marriage I am more than welcome to but she did not want anything to do with me past that. Now he reasons my mum is furious is that I brought a guy from a completely different country meaning he has different cultures and traditions but also most importantly he will have a MAJOR language barrier with my family as there is NO language in common whatsoever. But to me this isn't an issue body language and eye contact can say more than verbal words. I want my parents approval please advice me, help me, I do not want to get married without their consent. How can I convince my father who has never missed a prayer or a day of fasting that rejecting this man because he is not arab is so haram. How can I convince him. If you have had similiar experience please advice.
  2. salam everyone, i recently advised my friend to not do something and she still did it. i spoke to her so many times she was doing something really wrong and if she got caught it will be bad. she did not listen and suddenly she forgot about her religion completely, she also starting disrespecting her parents and lived a careless life. she drifted about because of this but i was still disappointed and just wanted to her to go back to how she was. so i pretended that she did get caught doing an act and she was very embarrassed but was still lying about everything. she's really upset right now (but hasn't learnt her lesson due to saying she's not going to stop) but i feel really ashamed and i regret it because i feel like i exposed her sin which i am not meant to, i feel like Allah is already planning to get me back and my heart feels heavy with so much regret but i love her and i just wanted to protect her, i wanted her to go back to religion and being a smart girl but i didn't know that its going to hurt her so much. is what i did a big sin? I've always been very nice and this made me feel like a horrible person with good intentions but still so horrible and its not a good feeling at all.
  3. salam everyone. im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope. thanks in advance everyone x
  4. When all is set and done and we make it to our final destination, will we remember anything from this life that we had lived? The people in it, family, friends, spouses, children, the relations, the emotions, the pain, the pleasure, the negative, the positive. Or will Allah make us forget everything? Will Allah let us keep the memories? Will we forget the people we couldn't have in this world due to the circumstances and sacrifices we made? Can we have all types of Non-Shia people in our lives that were here over up there, be it friends, a person we loved and wished to marry but couldn't?
  5. I would be interested to see why you got married and what your reason was and was it with the person you dreamed of ? My reason for marriage is I want my Wife to be my best mate and Truly enjoy Life together ; Also I am very Anxious and nervous when I am lonely in times when I am not around family and friends and getting married in the future would greatly help as well as having the most amount of fun at the same time with the best person in the world. That would be my reason. What was yours ? To have kids ? You found your true love ? You got arranged by your Parents ? Travel around the world with someone ? ...... Oh and if you dont mind what age at ?
  6. Bismillah Salaam Unfortunately, my family is in a sort of turmoil like state, due to parental issues, and "grand-parental" issues... As the middle child and the first son, bearing the burden of studies and social life is already very painful. With the addition of dealing with the psychological pain caused by family issues, life has become indeed very much painful for me. Due to having a lot of empathy, I often hurt a lot due to parental issues and issues of siblings... Sometimes it gets out of hand, and I utter something unpleasant in front of them, even if it is the truth, as I my mind wants someone to listen to me so they can stop being part of the problem. This is exactly what happened very recently, and it has caused great pain to my parents and to me as well, to the point from which there may be no return. I have turned to Allah for help, and to the Prophet SAWW and his progeny AS. I have prayed quite a bit for swift betterment, and am now in search of a Dua that can help resolve such family issues. Therefore I am here to ask you all, if you know any Dua for the resolution of family issues, as I am in dire need for one. JazakAllah. TLDR; I need a Dua to solve family issues urgently. JazakAllah. W. Salaam
  7. Salam Alaykum, Please i hope as many sisters as possible read this and give me their opinion... your help is much appreciated ! I am a revert shia muslim sister and I am 25 years old. I have been married for less than one year to my husband and when i agreed to marry him I accepted to live with his family : his mother who is a housewife and she is divorced, his 16 yo sister, his two brothers of which one is mentally disable. One of his brother is married and was meant to move out soon but he didn't yet so atm I wear my hijab every day when he is at home. Even if I get along very well with his mum and family, I find it now too hard to live with this arrangement. as i feel i don't have much personal space and sometimes enough privacy or enough quiet ; can't always do my own things, cooking or cleaning expecially their mum is housewife so she is the one who mostly looks after them and manages the house . Also, i am not used to live with a disable person (down syndrome) and sometimes it gets difficult..and on top of that the fact that I still have to wear hijab around the house every day.. they also sometimes invite male friends and it makes me feel ubcomfortable and of course i cant mix so i have to stay the whole time in my room I get very frustrated and I am often sad . Sometimes I feel like I need a break but I can't even go anywhere as I am pretty much alone in this country and if i want to go stay at my parents I need to take a plane. What makes me feel much worse is the fact that my husband don't understand me ...instead he says i am always exagerating, making it much bigger than it is, blaming me for everything for my negativity for my feeling sad... He also constantly tells me that i m the lucky and privileged one to be with him and his family and that there are many girls who would live like me . I honestly don't believe any born muslim girl would have accepted to marry someone and live like I do ... we didn't even have a wedding...my mahr was low .. i married him purely because i wanted to be with him.. I tried to accept it, but now this has become too much and the fact that he doesnt understand me just makes it impossible for me to go on like this Please sisters tell me honestly ?Would you ever accept to be living like i do?
  8. As salaam alaykum I am a young sister living in a western country. My whole family is born and raised Shias. I obviously go to school, but I can't say that my grades are great. I've got really bad grades before as well, and when my dad saw them he got mad and beat me up. Before asking why mom doesn't do anything. She obviously tries to stop him but he ends up with hitting her as well. I'm not talking about a slap, I am talking about full on beating up. Now in my situation I don't really have any of my mom's side of the family here, my dad's side of the family wouldn't really do much if I told them. Obviously as a Shia, in many muslim communities they don't really do much about things like this. He has done it before but now it's worse than ever. He has threatened to forcefully marry me off when I turn 18, (I'm 16, almost 17) and to send me to another country. I have been born and raised in a western country. For some this may just seem like a threat, but I don't doubt him actually doing this. He also threatened to throw me out of the house but my mom stopped him. I don't know what to do, honestly a part of me has started to hate him. He says a lot of bad things to me such as you've always been a trouble since the day you were born and all that. He isn't like this everyday but it happens whenever he gets mad at me. I was so close to telling somebody, but I didn't. If I tell someone, I'll most likely will be put in foster care, but then I don't know what he'll do to my mom and sibling, and I don't want to go away from her. And she'll probably be mad at me if I do. I don't have a phone right now either so I'm writing this on my laptop. But I'm really scared, and I don't know what to do. Please keep me and my family in your Duas.
  9. okay so I really don't know how to start all of this... I am a 19 year old girl, started wearing a hijab when I turned 13 years old - Me, still super young, didn't have any idea what was happening, somehow got forced into wearing it because everyone scared me. or let me just say, there was no other option. Turning 15, I told my parents that I didn't want to wear it anymore. They got extremely mad, my mom cried her heart out, it was like seeing them have a mental breakdown. I got really scared so I kept wearing it. Turning 18 and starting uni, which also made me live in a different country, I decided to just tell them that I'm taking it off and did it. The problem here is, that I can't bear seeing my mom cry... And I can't talk to her either about this topic.. Born and raised in Europe, which zero arabic friends, makes it way too hard for me to actually wer hijab with everyone around you judging and treating in such a different way... She just doesn't get it. I really don't know what to do in that kind of situation... I really don't want to force myself to do something I'm super uncomfortable with but I don't want to see my mom cry and know that she's sad. It just breaks my heart and makes me cry myself into sleep.. I'm really clueless.. I just found that forum because I can't talk to anyone about this. Does anyone maybe have an idea what I could do right now?.. Am I just "forced" to wear it? is there no other way out?
  10. Guest

    Music Played in House

    Salam, I have a question In Wasail al-Shia we find - "Amir ul-Mu’minīn Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) says, “Angels do not even enter a house that has wine, drum, tambourine or a flute. Even the prayers of the inhabitants of this house are unacceptable. They are deprived of barakat.” I don't listen to music at all and I know it's haram, but my family members play it and I ask them to stop but they don't. Does this mean my prayers are not accepted? I know of the Quranic verse which says that no soul shall be punished for another's actions... but the hadith is very clear..
  11. Wholehearted Shi'a

    Family and Islam

    As salam aleykum my brothers and sisters in religion and in humanity. I converted to the religion of Islam more than a month ago and I have encountered some difficulties with family members. My mother who I first told months prior to taking my shahada that I wanted to convert to the religion of Islam was at first very accepting of this idea but I believe she thought it was all just a phase. After I took my shahada she seemed disappointed that I had made such a move and I know her fear comes only from a place of love and concern but I want to show her that this was a positive thing and I will be better as a person in the long run due to this change. My father is a traditional Aussie bloke and although very accepting and kind to Muslims in person he is easily influenced by what is said on television. I asked my mother not to tell him or any of our extended family of this change because I am so scared of being treated differently by these people who I love and respect. Any advice in showing my parents and extended family how its all gonna be OK? Any good talking points that I can use to help them accept this new change?
  12. Fatimahlover

    Dua' for nasibi parents

    Assalamualikum everyone, I'm a shia in taqyah and my parents especially my mother is a shiahater "on the way of becoming a nasibi". I have read before about a dua by imam jafar al sadiq as about a duaa for nasibi parents so that may Allah would guide them to the truth, so is there a duaa like that? Oh and i desperately need everyone's prayers cause the pressure on me because of her doubts that i'm a shia is unbearable. Pray for me to have strength and patience.
  13. Assalam o alaikum. My grandfather, who I was extremely close to, passed away in 2014 while abroad. When I was a child, he'd always give me notebooks, calendars and pens that he received from work. Here's something that's been bugging me for four long years, and I know it sounds crazy, which is why I decided to ask. A few days after he passed away, I was in his study (I used to be the only one allowed to touch his things :')), going through his notebooks sentimentally. I took one of those notebooks - one that he'd made a few lists in on the first few pages - and started using it to write letters to him about how I felt and stuff. One day, I left it in the living room and went to sleep. I don't remember if this was the same day I started writing or a few days later, but the next morning when I opened the notebook to write in it again, there was a sticky note on the inside cover that said "for Mahnoor" (that's my name) in his handwriting. I'm positive it wasn't there before. And he wouldn't give me a notebook he had already used. So i was wondering, is it possible he actually put that note there after he died? I swear to Allah, I'm not making this up. Can the passed away interact with this world's objects like that? Or was I mistaken because I was so emotional at the time? Thank you for your time. I'm sorry this was such a long question.
  14. SayedAA

    Ties - New Poem

    Salaam Alaykum, Hope you all enjoy this new piece of work I have written and recorded. God and Family Over Everything https://soundcloud.com/thesoulfulpoet/ties
  15. The Complicit Koala

    Shia Islam - Conversion Questions

    Introduction - I am Australian, a white Anglo-Saxon Christian. I have been researching Islam for about a year and a half and am very seriously considering converting to Shia Islam. I have come along away at first i was a bigot and growing up here in a climate of anti Islam Hysteria and the rise of Terrorism i cursed everything about Islam it's origins and its prophet things that i have now come to regret saying. In Australia we've been exposed from a young age right-wing channels trying to paint the world as 'Us V. Them' which obviously shaped my political views before i started researching myself into what the people who adhere to Islam believe. (Search 'A Current Affair Islam' and see what Australians are exposed to) At first trying to do complete an independent research i was bombarded with hateful messages from Anti-Islam websites or Wahhabi/Salafi websites but looking into this realized there are different sects and schools of thought within Islam. I found myself now researching into the divide of Sunni and Shia and the life of the Prophet in general. So what did i find and what was my conclusion after a year and half of research. I believe the companions who became the Caliphs after the Prophet did not follow the values and ethics taught by the prophet and the Quran. There are stories of violence and evils committed by both Umar and Abu Bakr which i have found appalling but Ali (First Imam/Fourth Caliph) I believe very much did follow the true Islamic values, his tolerance to religious minorities, kindness and high morals were in my opinion like those of the prophet and values taught by Islam and is the true successor to the prophet. I have respect for the Sunni muslims but today they have seem to have become corrupted with funds being shared around the world by the Saudi's, threatening the peace and at the same time supported by the U.S. and unfortunately my own country Australia. There is a real double standard in the western world, we are so hell bent on trying to take out Iran claiming they are a threat to world peace but it is truly the Saudi's who are killing and supporting horrific Salafi/Wahhabi militant groups. Question Time - 1) If i converted to Islam (Twelver) what would change when it comes to interactions with my christian families?, What becomes of Christmas, Funerals and other religious gathering adhering to Roman Catholicism. What can i or can't participate in? 2) My Family who i know for fact would be very accepting of me changing religions, they would accept me no matter what. My question is would God (I know only he can judge) based on Islamic beliefs accept my family into paradise if they're Catholics. It was my parents who knew i was disillusioned with my faith told me to go out and discover a new spiritual outlook on life. (I personally never thought it would be Islam ) and so i did and now we are here. 3) What evidence is there that Muhammad was a prophet, how can i be sure? These three questions that i know may seem 'amateur' to some Islamic experts but are vital questions to me in whether or not i will accept Islam. I hope you all are having a blessed day and i am excited to hear all your responses.
  16. sadaf ghyas

    what you do?

    parents agar needy hon to daughter jo job karti ho wo perent ki resposibilty la ya wo daughter jo married ho lakin job na karti ho wo la.kyon ka jo daughter job karti ha us ka mangator khata ha ka ma jab shadi karon ga jab tumaray sister responsibilty la is situation ma kiya hukum ha kiya married sister apnay husband as paisay la ya wo daughter jo job karti ha wo apnay money as parents ko da
  17. Syed Mohammad Abbas Ali

    Shajrah Help

    I am Syed Abbas Ali and belongs to the family of Imam Jafar Sadiq. Basically My grand father had lost a major portion of our shajrah while migrating to Pakistan, and only a part containing 10 generations before me is left with him. None of his children (my uncles and my father) tried to complete it and he died when I was 2. My Far related grandfather (3rd Cousin to my grandfather) told me that My grandfather did tried to get the whole Shajrah back but was failed in this attempt as those of our relative in India and Lahore refused to provide us with that in fear of some sort of Property. Actually he is the one who told me that we belonged to Syed Qutb descendants who was descendant of Imam Jafar Saddiq and came from Iran or Afghanistan. My grandfather used to live in Jabalpur before seperation and his ancestors in Meeranpur, Jansath Tehsil, India. I tried to look back those Syeds in Meeranpur but found that They were Zaidis. Now I am totally Confused. I looked at a complete shajrah of Zaidis but couldn't find my ancestors name in it so we definitely belong to Jafris. "Syed Abbas s/o Syed Akhtar s/o Syed Aashiq s/o Syed Amjad s/o Syed Hasan s/o Syed Qasim s/o Syed Ameen s/o Syed Lal s/o Syed Dadan s/o Syed Qasim----- Syed Qutb (not mentioned but told to me)" Do anyone know Any book which has a complete shajrah of Jafris?? like those of Zaidis named "Shajrah Saadat e Barha"?? I am very Hopeful that you'll surely help me out. One thing I like to mention is that I'm a Sunni as my ancestors converted to Sunnism due to Taqiyya but many traditions and beliefs of Shia still exist in my family today. Please Anyone Help me.
  18. Hello, I am a 13 year old girl and recently I accepted Islam. i told my sister who has been muslim since a couple of years back (secret from my mum) and she taught me how to pray and then I took my shahada. My father is from a muslim country but non practising and my mother from a european catholic country. I wanted to tell my mother or ask her about becoming muslim and she did not take it well at all. She became very angry and said that she doesn't want muslim childre, that I won't get a job, and that she will "show me how it is in a real muslim country" also she said the stereotypical lies about women being oppressed in islam and that if I marry a muslim man I will not be able to do anything. Me and my sister tried to argue with her and show her this isn't true and it's just what she has learned from unreliable sources such as tv but she doesn't listen. Then I asked my dad and he said of course I can be muslim, because I am actually already since my father is muslim. And he also told me he and my mother disscussed before their wedding that their children would be able to choose their religion. Today (2 weeks after the first time asking) I tried talking to her again but she just became even more angry and started talking about how being muslim is "agreeing with what is happening in the middle east" and that she doesn't want me to be muslim etc etc. I am very sad about this because nothing me or my sister say to try to change her opinion works, and I don't know what to do anymore. If anybody has an idea then please help because this is very hard for me. I want to be able to practise my religion without being scared that my mother won't accept me and that the family will be torn apart. So if anybody wants to help or has suggestions then please help.
  19. Asalam o Alaikum everyone, I know how much Islam emphasises on the topic of Mahrams and Non Mehrams. In our Pakistani/Indian culture mix gatherings and talking freely to non mahrams in our family is extremely common. And it is considered to be perfectly fine. What are the boundaries that Islam has imposed on us regarding Non Mehrams in our family? One should maintain their blood ties. And stay in contact with one's family. What if Husband or Wife is deleting messages and calls from a non mehram uncle/aunt. The non mehram Uncle or Aunt is very close to your spouse (talks about everything including gheebat). I really need some help regarding this topic. Any answers would be appreciated. And if anyone can send links on some lectures regarding this topic. Thank you, Jazak Allah
  20. Salam alaykum, If you're married, how long did it take you to get an answer to marry from your/the girl's wali ulamr? Did the families already know each other or were you strangers to each other? If/when a girl gets a marriage proposal, how long would it, or would you expect it to, take for the father to think about it? If the situation is complicated in terms of conditions etc, how long would it take for the father to contemplate about them? Are there any Islamic rulings or guidelines about this? References and advice from experience would be highly appreciated! Salam
  21. One has a question that "How would you, as a Muslim man, react if your wife or daughter decided to remove her hijab?" My Humble Response was as follows: On Hijab One Since you have promised to appreciate sincere answers and try to be a better practicing Muslim, the following material is provided: Had we accepted that Allah, the most Beneficent Being, is our Creator, Possessor and all-Knowing, we would have relied on His absolute Wisdom and Will more than on our own intellect. For He is the creator of our intellect as well. His commands will be beneficial in all areas, particularly in the field of legislation; because they stem from pure wisdom and benevolence. The Muslims are called Muslims because they have willingly accepted the Sovereign Authority of Allah. The Quran, the reflecting mirror of the legislative will of Allah, has declared certain objects and actions lawful or unlawful. Thus, every practicing Muslim observes those various legislative pronouncements on a daily basis. One among the obligatory acts is to keep modesty and observe Hijab. Observing Hijab is a must on both man and woman; for they both have their respective Hijab. Man are primarily commanded to lower their sight and avoid gazing at strange women whereas women are ordered to avoid wearing revealing cloths and attires. In terms of laws and regulations, it is to be kept in mind that wherever Allah has an explicit say, the human beings in general and the Muslims in particular, have nothing to say contrary to Allah. For it will run counter to their submission to Allah. Anyhow, neither you, nor your husband or other family members have the right to say something contrary to Allah’s Will and Law. For sure, the form of Hijab is something geographical, cultural and based on human made customs but the very concept of modesty is something divine and rooted in everyone’s primordial nature. The conclusion is that the Muslims are required to obey the divine laws and regulations; for their obedience will serve their worldly interests; leaving aside that they will be rewarded in the hereafter as well. The best way to convince our sisters, daughters and etc. to observe Hijab is to win their satisfaction through intellectual arguments and persuasion. Moreover, defying the Divine Commands will never win one’s prosperity and felicity. Thanks May Allah, Bless Us all to Remain Committed to the Divine Laws and Values.
  22. Allah's Servant

    Family/Brother quotes

    So basically my older brother and younger brother i feel are starting to detach from each other and me. They're really religious but just need a push does anyone have any islamic brother quotes that i could tell them that would help? every answer will mean a lot to me. may Allah reward you
  23. I wanted advice on a problem concerning marriage for my sister. To sum it up, My sister met a muslim convert in the united states, and they want to get married. My father approves, but mother doesn't. She mostly does not approve because he is american, and not an arab. He is a convert and a fully practicing shia muslim., and a very decent guy, but they do not care. Are there any hadiths or anything to show my mother to help change her mind?
  24. RevertSister

    HELLO.

    As Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuh
  25. Abid Zaidi

    Death

    Asalam-alaikum brothers and sisters, My grandmother recently passed away and it has been quite hard on me and my family. However, I have seen her in my dreams multiple times. Does seeing her signify anything? Or the settings I see her in? Or even the colors she's wearing (white and green)? Please help me get some closure. Jazak'Allah khair Thank you -Abid
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