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Found 4 results

  1. Tensions between my sister and my dad have been really high for a while and one of the tipping points was this. My dad said, if my sister were to marry a non-Muslim, he would disown her, period. My sister saw this as unnecessarily cruel and I don't think they've been in contact since. Is my dad's stance religiously backed by the Qur'an or any Hadith? Is it said that a parent should effectively cut off or disown their child if they marry outside the fold of Islam?
  2. Assalamualaikum. Ya Ali (عليه السلام) Madad. I hope this message finds you well. I would like to share a deeply personal experience that I have undergone, seeking clarity and guidance from an Islamic perspective. About five years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a remarkable girl online. She is a zakira, devoted to reciting majalis throughout the year. We developed a strong connection over time, nurturing our relationship despite the physical distance between us. We've met sometimes tho. Unfortunately, our journey together took an unexpected turn when faced with a challenging situation. Before delving into this, allow me to provide some context. I have an elder sister who remains unmarried. The girl I was in love with and I aspired to marry one another. However, I held the belief that my sister's marriage should take precedence, delaying our own plans until she found a suitable partner. Despite our sincere intentions, we struggled to find a suitable match for my sister, leading to a prolonged wait. As time went on, the girl I cared for started receiving marriage proposals from other suitors. She expressed her concern to me, emphasizing the urgency of addressing our own relationship's future. She insisted that I approach my family about our desire to marry, or she would have no choice but to consider other proposals. Taking her words to heart, I initiated a conversation with my mother about our intentions. It is important to note that my father had passed away a few years prior, leaving me with the responsibility of communicating our intentions to my mother alone. To my dismay, my mother's initial response was one of rejection and unwarranted criticism against the girl's character. This reaction deeply pained me. This was the first instance I had witnessed such behavior from my mother, as she had always been kind and understanding. I found it difficult to reconcile the fact that the person I held in high regard could harbor such prejudice against someone I deeply loved. I embarked on a mission to convince my mother, invoking the significance of compassion and fairness emphasized in Islamic teachings. I reminded her that hasty judgments and character defamation were strictly prohibited, especially without sufficient knowledge about the person in question. I beseeched my mother to consider the qualities of the girl I loved, and to view our relationship with an open heart. I implored her to evaluate the situation fairly, placing trust in the values she had instilled in me over the years. The ensuing weeks were challenging as I balanced my deep affection for the girl I loved and my commitment to respect and honor my mother's wishes. Eventually, the emotional strain led to a point where my mother urged me to leave the house, coupled with the threat of being disinherited. In that moment of despair, I confided in my sister, who assured me that she would manage the situation and find a solution. Trusting her, I shared the girl's contact details with my sister, who took the initiative to speak with her father. Tragically, my sister's actions were contrary to what I had hoped for. She approached the girl's father and persuaded him to distance his daughter from me. This revelation shattered me completely, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. I felt utterly isolated, with thoughts of suicide clouding my mind as I believed I had lost everything dear to me. In the aftermath of these events, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and a deep sense of loss. The girl I had envisioned a future with was now united with another, my relationship with my mother and sister had suffered irreparable damage, and the trust I once held for my loved ones was shattered. For the past two years, I have tried to mend the broken ties with my mother and sister. While some semblance of normalcy has returned to our interactions, it is undeniable that the dynamics have forever changed. Their actions have left scars that continue to affect our relationship, leaving me feeling conflicted about the love and respect I once held for them. Their insistence that I seek forgiveness for a transgression I fail to comprehend only deepens my internal struggle. As I reflect on my journey, one question remains at the forefront of my mind: What guidance does Islam provide for individuals facing such intricate and emotionally charged situations? I yearn for clarity on how to navigate this turmoil in a way that aligns with my faith. My earnest aspiration is to eventually establish financial stability, enabling me to make the difficult choice of parting ways with my family and seeking a life of my own. I am genuinely appreciative of any insights or wisdom you might be able to offer, grounded in Islamic teachings and values. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for considering my plea for guidance.
  3. Salaam, I have an inquiry about family ties and how it is forbidden to cut off your relatives. Firstly, according to the ruling of that it's forbidden to sever family ties--does this apply to my mahram relatives only? or does it also include my non-mahram relatives? My cousin(dad’s side) used to be very very close to me to the point that we did everything together. I loved her dearly and would do anything for her. A few years back she started to date my first cousin (Moms side) behind my back and constantly lied to me about it whenever I asked her if they were together. I asked her about 3 times and each time she lied to me and said he was like her brother and that there was nothing going on between them. Now, I was 100% certain that they were together and seeing each other because at one point she had asked me if I was interested in my own cousin as a way to make sure that it would be fine if she dated him. I had also seen many many message exchanges between them where they had talked about being together. Now, I would have never had any obligation with them being together and getting married since I loved her so much and I would have loved for her to be a part of my family, but the fact that she hid everything and lied to me hurt me very much.I just wanted her to tell me the truth because of how close we were. I really tried to get her to tell me what the truth was but she did not any of the times I asked her. I even went as far as emailing her -- explaining how I was feeling and that I felt betrayed because she used me and my home just to date my cousin. I told her that she was making me feel like she picked a guy over us. She replied saying that someone was putting these thoughts into my head and that there is nothing going on between my cousin and her. She also said that everything that happened was her business. I completely understand that it was her business, but If she hadn’t lied to me and had just said I need time and I’ll tell you—I would’ve been fine with that. I felt extremely hurt and started to withdraw from her because it felt like she betrayed me and went behind my back to be with my cousin. Her and her sister both pretended that they did not know what I was talking about at all and started to also distance themselves. We were not as close after that incident and started to talk less. After that, I left for university abroad for several years and I still tried to keep in touch with her through email every few months --where I would ask her how is is and what was happening. She would reply to the email in short answers and answer whatever I asked but she never initiated any conversation. But, regardless I kept emailing her every few months just as a form of keeping in touch because despite everything I deeply loved and cared for her. I genuinely did try to put that incident behind us and whenever we saw each other at events we would converse in a very civil manner. I came back home for a few months for a wedding and saw her there and we made small talk and I thought that be would never be as close as we were but we could be civil with each other which I was alright with. I went back to University and a couple years later my parents told me that her and my cousin were getting married. I wasn't shocked since I knew they had been together all those years. They were doing someone that they had denied from the beginning. Even then, I was like okay what's happened has happened. But, there were many many rumors going around that my uncle came and spoke to my dad about (that my cousin who she was dating was spreading), about how my mother and I had tried to break up there relationship and tried to not get them married and apparently broke up their rishta the first time and were trying to do it the second time. We were shocked because I had been away for years at this point and all we knew was that they were together not that they were engaged at any point. We had not even thought about that let alone ever try to do anything like that-- I had ever only tried to ask her if she was lying. We were being falsely accused for something that we had never thought about doing. My father decided to go and talk to my cousins parents about the rumors and help clear my mother and my name. My cousins parents lied to my parents face and denied everything and that they had no idea that they’re kids were even together, even though at this point our community knew more that we did. They denied my cousin and her being together. They basically said that how are you guys being accused if my cousin and her had never been engaged. We were confused because both my cousins mothers had different stories. One saying that we broke up their engagement and they other saying she had no idea they were even together. We were heart broken because no matter what we did to clear our name it was not working. My parents had to leave without any success because everyone was lying. The next day my cousin's mother called my other cousins mother and told her that my parents had come over wanting to clear our name. I'm not exactly sure what she told her because the next thing we know the girls mother calls my father screaming and yelling and accusing us of breaking them up once before and now trying to do the same time. We were stunned because we did not know that they were engaged once before. In order to break someone up, we would have to know that they were officially together. She recorded the whole conversation with my father (without telling him) and sent it to multiple people to listen to. She yelled and screamed so in turn my father said that they are all liars. The conversation ended and the wedding came around. The girls mother did not send us an invitation to the wedding out of spite, but we were invited through my cousin. My parents went to the wedding since I was not in the country, but the girl including her mother and siblings completely ignored my parents and did not even say Salaam. We were hurt since every one was lying and making it seem like it was all our fault. My cousin, his family, my dad's cousin and her family were all involved and it was extremely hurtful. Now, they are both married and have a child together. But, I'm curious to know if we have to uphold ties with them after being falsely accused and them ruining our reputation. They themselves don't want anything to do with us and we are so hurt that we don't want to either. They think they are right in what they have done. She still continues to do things to hurt still. She does not invite me to parties despite inviting the rest of my cousins which causes more hurt. I ask Allah to forgive them and me (for anything that I have done) but it is very hard and this has taken a big toll on me through the years and has severely affected my mental health. Both my parents are very pious people and they have never thought about ruining anything or hurting anyone. Whereas, Both of my cousins mothersare known in the community and family for engaging in drama and talking behind peoples backs. I try to be a good person and want to do the right thing. I constantly feel guilty and keep thinking back to of I did something wrong. I am the type of person to self blames so this doesn’t make it easier. Please tell me if based on everything I have told you is it okay to not have any relation with them? Of course, I will continue to be civil and Say Salaam. Thank you so much
  4. Salaam, I am a Syed and Shia Muslim living in India. My Maternal grandmother passed away recently. This lady was a pious Shia Muslim. She had no son so she had adopted her grandson. She owned some land and a mansion. Her death was sudden, thus she could not print or make a will. But before her death on many occasions she had declared that after her death her land will be divided into five parts and will be given to her five daughters and the mansion will be given to her adopted son. The adopted son however, after her death began demanding that the land be divided into six parts and one part given to him. I have taken this responsibility to make a decision was given to me and I have promised to do so. My grandmother died 2 months ago due to dengue but the problem of inheritance is still going on. The adopted son does not work. My grandmother who used to get an annual pension used to take care of him, his wife and child. This man (The adopted son) is a hypocrite. He lied and made drifts among my father and my uncles. According to qur'an He has no share but because of insistence he was given the mansion which was worth 35 lakhs. Please resolve this problem fast there is no peace in our house and I'm sure my grandmother is unpleased in heaven.
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