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Assalamu alaikum brothers+sisters. I have decided to seperate from a narcissistic abuser with my preschooler daughter. What is the Islamic way of moving out of 'his house' by which he means he pays for my roof. I live in North America and court divorce requires a minimum of a year of seperate housing and/or no physical relation. My patience has reach the tolerance limit and I can't stay a year with him in the same house. To give a background information, he is a Sunni and I married in taqiyyah since my parents (back in Asia) chose him for me as he was 'educated' and 'namazi'. I asked my Marja' beforehand to confirm that it is not obligatory to reveal beliefs for marriage. So I married with the intention for giving him Hidayah towards ahlul bait. But gradually, I had learnt that he is a bi-product of an abusive marriage with least respect for women. From time to time, we had fights regarding my sustenance and he believed that if I earn, I pay for expenses too. (I earn now because he had forcefully given my breastfeeding child to daycare since 'I am not capable of nurturing and raising her with values' and I feel deprived to stay home by myself. (My dream was to be an obedient housewife in a house filled with children of different ages but he wants go me to earn so that he can save more money for buying a house (which I dont dream of having with him because of who he is). He currently earns enough to support 4 adults and a child without any much saving but he still sucks money out of my pocket although I earn about one-fourth of his income. I had filed a domestic violence case during my maternity leave and returned only thinking about our child. But right now, I am concerned about my child's mental and physical health (not to mention mine) as well as our safety. He verbally abuses me almost every single day and once tried to throw her in anger. He has no respect for me or my family and uses such foul language that prevents 40 days of prayers from acceptance (eg haramzaad (illegitimate woman) which accuses my chaste mother of aghastly sin of Zina!). Sometimes when the mental torture is excessive, I recite "Lanatullahi alal qowmiz zolimeen" from pain. Sometimes I also wish he was dead because of his misbehaviors which I know is a very bad thing to do as a wife. Last weekend I wrote an areeza (letter) to Imam e Zaman for protection of me and my child from his oppression along with recitation of Ziyarat e Ashura. And now I am feeling that I should leave. I need to know what is the Islamic ruling for leaving an abuser, if any. I am also willing to know if custody can be mine if the father is abusive and of deviated religious beliefs as Sunnism. My concern is also a hadith that forbids wife to leave husband's home without his permission even if he is an oppressor. I also want to know if he remains a guardian with physical rights during the one year of seperation or not. Because that is something I totally repel (although never once rejected since now,unless during hayidh) because of his lack of kindness, respect and love for me. Please share anything with reference to original text. Wassalam. [TO EVERY SINGLE MUHIBBEEN OF AHLUL BAYT, PLEASE NEVER MARRY ANYONE FROM TASANNU. BECAUSE THEY ARE A PART OF THE LANAT OF ZIYARAT E ASHURA.]
can a man be forced to divorce his wife
nourani posted a topic in Jurisprudence/Lawssalamu alaikum can a man be forced to divorce his wife (family of wife threaten to harm him if he doesn't divorce her etc) if family of wife want her to be divorced but she doesn't want divorce herself, she has not asked for it but her family believe it is best for her, and they force her husband to divorce her, is that divorce valid, considering that the wife has not asked for it and that the husband is threaened and is made to divorce her, what is the ruling on this. if the husband divorces the wife under threat and without the wife asking for it, what rights/obligations are there for the husband/wife to follow. does wife get mahr/ does husband get back from her what he previously gave her in mahr/gifts etc?
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