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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Salaamaulaykum, brothers and sisters i am a below knee amputee , lost my leg six years ago in a road accident. I am completely independent, do daily tasks just like normal person. Just completed by undergrad and now I am going to United States for my masters . It's been a year, since I broke up with the love of my life, whom I loved from the most deepest region of my heart, towards whom while looking, no matter how many chaotic situations I was circumscribed by ,when I looked at her, was always at ease. During our relationship, I never touched her, you know what I mean to say...no physical or haram contact...just respected and loved her just the way she admired and followed Islam. I thought , she was the one, but all of a sudden everything just changed, her mother came to know about my scenario, that I was a handicap, although I use one of the best artificial limb, imported from germany, I can run too and it's hard for anyone to recognize that I use an artificial limb. Her mother started looking for marriage proposals for her..and I remember it was my birthday she texted me "Good luck for everything" and that was the worst day of my life. I asked her why, and their was just a pin drop silence on the other side..believe me the pain of losing the limb was nothing in front of this one, what I felt at that very instant..The reason her silence indicated that "I was a handicap or disabled person"...I just retracted myself because the reason was like..Her mother could have said something else like any other reason but she just remained silent and believe me ,if the reason was other than "being disabled" .. I could have said to her mother that "Ok give me some time, I'll be the man , whom you would like to offer your daughter to " . But In my scenario even if I had the extra time , It was impossible for me to get the thing back , I lost long ago. Every morning I woke up, the very first thought is this one only and tears come off my eyes. I used to play guitar, sing . Now I have just given up on singing and guitar. I read Quran translation nowdays, but whenever I think of falling in love with someone or marrying someone, my soul gets dilapidated and all I have found is just peace in the recitation of quran and offering salah,previously I was a gregarious person and now I have transformed myself into a brutally conserved one. And I dream of a place now, where people like me are not considered as something as an ostracized element of the society. And when I think of falling in love or marrying someone , thinking about ""the story of Julaybib, one of the contemporaries of the Prophet, is another vivid example of inclusion. In addition to being poor, Julaybib had an unpleasant physical appearance and nobody wished to let their daughter marry him. Upon the Prophet’s request, a noble family gave him their daughter in marriage."" I say to myself that only prophet can reduce the pain i am going through... I told you my story, Now I was to ask, that ""people like me are not considered for marriage"" you can assume the reason according to my past encounters... I know it's haram to go in a relationship before marriage in islam....Is it permissible for peple like me to have a relationship before marriage resulting in love marriage.. you know the reason..when people will hear about my disability they would just say "NO" ..hence the question ".Is it permissible for me to have a relationship before marriage resulting in love marriage "?????
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