In the Name of God بسم الله
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Anyone got advice on how to fight sexual desires it’s like I’m having a constant battle with the urge and if two people a pulling on a rope sometimes one side pulls harder than the other opposing it >———< desires when I think about Allah I stop then 15 secs later I’m fighting it again then I stop then 10 sec later I’m fighting constantly.
Salam respected brothers and sisters. I have been seriously struggling with my own desires for years now and it is very difficult (amongst the worst things I have had to go through) and I don’t even do things which increases desire like looking at non-mahram (I do occasionally get thoughts which I try to not to occupy me) and so I really think as one of the last resorts to come out to this forum and ask for help from anyone who might know a person or a friend who in turn knows a friend that is willing to do temporary marriage (I am a guy). I will deeply appreciate the help from any brother or sister and keep you in my daus inshallah.
There was a time a few years back when I was younger, I am 20 so when I was around 14. I not only avoided bad acts but I even avoided bad thoughts, naturally whenever I had a bad thought I would quickly be rid of it. Bad actions were out of the question, my gaze was low and it was hard for me to raise my gaze. When I saw other men stare at women I would feel ashamed but sadly now that I think of it, I have to keep telling myself to keep my gaze low and I still fail. I don't know where or what went wrong, I was so innocent but now I feel like my legions fighting against Satan are dead and only a few injured ones are limping around fighting Satan within me, so hopelessly losing. It is as though I have become my carnal desires, I continuously forget that I am not my desires and my desires are against me, I have to keep reminding myself. Each act I do is done for a selfish reason even charity is done for a selfish reason, not like the old days when I would just feel bad and give, now I give because I have been told it helps me. I offer prayer but even that is for a selfish reason because if I don't do it I will be punished and if I do it then I am saved from punishment, given rewards, and I would have either pleased people or Allah. When I don't know a person I like them but when I know them, I see their faults and as a result I lose heart for them and they become 'unworthy' in my eyes but the people who I don't know seem saintly and perfect and I am humbled before them. So I am forever spending money, treating people nicely, befriending them, only to forget them and repeat the process with new people. Even with the land I have a problem, when I live here in the UK, I see its problems and envy a different place but at the different place I envy what I left remembering what the old land had which the new one lacks. Even with the seasons, in winter I wish for Summer and in Summer I wish for winter. I have also lost the plot about why I should interact with men and the only motive with interaction with women is lust and because of this I also keep away from women. Part of me wants to be noticed, tells myself that I am good but another part of me doesn't want to show off, wants to be good without being noticed and tells me I am worthless and useless and low. I have no idea about my worth, I have achieved nothing but I have also achieved something, I want to be pious and I am pious but I am only fooling myself in thinking this way. The only thing my heart, mind and soul agrees on is where I should be buried, the type of soil I want to be left alone in. I am fearful of being buried in a wet soil, it seems cold, damp and dark to me. I feel attraction and warmth when I think of being buried in a dry, warm soil. The only thing I seem to be certain of is my grave, or at least what I want my grave to be like. I don't know anything else. I was also in awe of the Scholars when they were out of reach but now I realize that those who give light are sitting on darkness, like a light bulb which illuminates its surrounding but beneath it is a shadow. How can I get back to that innocence and revive the might of my legions against Satan? To live as a human, being Adam for which God praised himself and naturally giving priority to my soul before my desires. Please quote each problem and give me an advice on each one separately as best as you can. Thank you.
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