Salam alaykum, brothers and sisters,
I am a 20-year-old Shia Muslim from Afghanistan, and I recently (6-7 months ago) met a Sunni Palestinian sister who is also 20 years old. Alhamdulillah, we quickly formed a strong bond and fell in love. Now, we want to make our relationship halal and legitimate Islamically, as we acknowledge that we have not followed the proper rules thus far.
Insha’Allah, we are planning to formalize our relationship by summer. My intention is to approach her father and officially ask for her hand in engagement. However, we are facing a dilemma that I would really appreciate some advice on.
While we are both at a valid age for marriage, I recognize that as a male, I may mature later than a female. This raises concerns about how things may unfold in the next 4-5 years and whether I might change in ways that could affect our relationship. That said, I truly want to be with her, especially since she has recently started embracing Shi‘ism. Theologically, we are now aligned, and while we come from different cultural backgrounds, we believe that is something we can manage together.
One of my biggest concerns is whether Allah will place barakah in this relationship or if we may struggle due to the way we initially went about it. Since we didn’t follow the correct Islamic guidelines from the start, I fear that this could affect Allah’s support and blessing in our future together. We both want to do things the right way now, but I don’t know if that is enough to make up for our past mistakes.
I would really appreciate advice on the following:
How can we ensure that our marriage is blessed with barakah despite our past mistakes?
Am I realistically too young to commit to marriage at this stage, or is this just an unnecessary worry? If age is a concern, what signs should I look for to determine whether I am truly ready?
Jazakum Allahu khayran.