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Found 34 results

  1. Assalam alaikum, Seeking the guidance from you guys, it’s a matter of my 3 young kids (boy 15 - girl 12 - girl -9). Obviously I love my wife ... I made a blunder made a mistake that cannot be undone and I think I have already paid heavy price for it... I did Mu’tah with a Muslim woman, had a child out of it who is 2 years old now... and I am in contact with her once in a year... it was two years ago, my wife came to know about it and left the home since then I am living alone ... my wife lives in his cousin home, I have done everything she demanded, sell the home and gave her maximum money, paying expenses for children every month... she was melting a bit as I continuously pleasing her .. she hasn’t ceased having conjugal relationship... she too loves me and was understanding that my mistake was big but she is ready to move back to me, but the problem is her brother who are not letting her come back to me as they are demanding to bring my second wife and in front of them I should give talaq saying that she was my mistake... for which I do not want to do, I cannot humiliate a woman. now her brothers threatened me that my wife would take a qula if I don’t do that... how can she take qula when she was having physical and loving relationship with me? What are the basis that she can get qula? I was providing her with home and other necessities and more over requesting her to comeback home so that I can talk to my second wife and settle things... what do I do? I’m in a very complicated situation... I love my kids and my wife very much and do not want to loose them.. on other hand I have responsibility of my other wife and child... can I let marja to contact her brothers and convince if I’m on haq. your help and advise would be appreciated and inshallah will dua for you in Karbala as I will be doing arbayeen there. p.s: I live in Australia and my other wife live in India along with the child.
  2. Assalam-o-Alaikum! I hope you people are in the best of your health and emaan. there is one thing regarding which I need an advice of my fellow brothers and sisters for which I think I lack the experience. I am a 19 yr old girl from Pakistan. during my salat, I'm used to praying that oh Allah! let me be of some help to your Makhlooq. a few days back I've started tutoring 2 kids because I needed money. I think that this is my prayer getting accepted because the kids are really in a miserable situation and need someone's help/counselling. they have a physically abusing father who gets irked at the smallest things and beats the kids. their mother is also in a great misery a) because of this kind of a husband b) a mentally challenged child (they're 3 in total, the one coming to me are fine). so, she understandably is not in a mood to pamper the children or make them feel loved. the children are really bad at studies, they suck at maths. the girl is a sixth grader and the boy is in fourth grade. they are not rude or misbehave with me rather very sweet, the girl even brought me bangles as a gift. but, the boy does not do the homework I give to him. when I told their mother about this she was about in tears, told me that the children don't listen to her, always fighting and especially the boy, misbehaves with her. they boy even slapped her back when she first slapped her. their mother has asked me to physically punish the children if they do not do their work. but guys I don't know what to do. like I'm sooooo against physically abusing the child ( i have been beaten up by my parent too for the smallest things and I know this scars you for the rest of your lives, but it's kinda normal in Pakistan). I think the children are really damaged because of the environment of their home, they are not the misbehaving kind of children. I just want them to get good grades and respect their mother because I believe otherwise the fee their mother gave me for tutoring them would be haram and i'd be not fulfilling the purpose. i told the boy regarding mother's status in Islam and took promise from him that he'd never do such a thing again. i want to counsel them and you know, make them feel worthy of love because the age gap between me and them is not big like i'm kind of a big sister to them so i think they'd understand what i say better as compared to their parents. so please guys pour in suggestions on how can I make these children do their work and teach a thing or two without hitting, slapping or shouting at them? I'd be really obliged. jzakAllah.
  3. I know having children is a blessing from Allah swt but I just feel like why bring them into such a messed up world. Of course each soul that is put here is by the will of Allah swt but of course we are also responsible. As Muslims we all know this life is a test to inshallah obtain heaven in the hearafter. Why put someone through that test in the first place? I mean if I pull help it I wouldn’t want anyone even going through the pain of a paper cut s why would I want to bring a child into a world of pain? Oh ya ur kid might be the next Einstein or newton or even Abbas (as) but their lives weren’t exactly a bed of roses. Why put them through so much crap for a little ray of sunshine in this world. I’d rather not know crap exists at all, even if it means not knowing sunshine does either because in the end I’d be non existent and therefor indifferent but ultimately saved from the tribulations of life. I’m 24f married for 3 years and I don’t think I want kids. Any thoughts? What do the imaams and our Holy prophet have to say about the reason for having children in Islam? Why would you bring a child into this world?
  4. Is it haram to cut off ties with your parents but still help them economically? Ever since I were younger my parents always used to beat me. Whether I did something wrong or just annoyed them. My parents always yells or hits me and iam 16 years old. I’ve read some Hadiths about it, but I really don’t know what to do! I want to cut off my ties with them when I turn in the 20’s or so. I will buy them a house and send money to them. But I won’t talk to them. What should I do? please help me
  5. اسلام علیکم brothers and sisters how are you all? Ok, so straight to the point, I'm really afraid to get married because i think i might not be able to raise my children well because my job is not at one place I'm moving all over the world all the time so i think i might not give enough time to my children and i might not raise them well and this thing is stopping me from getting married and I'm really worried about it. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.
  6. Salam all In an otherwise healthy, cheerful, and affectionate toddler, what would be possible causes of speech/language delay? Autism is the first thing that comes to mind, but what else should be considered? Hearing has not yet been checked, but he reacts to sounds and enjoys music/songs on children's shows on the TV, and he makes noise for enjoyment. He was not breathing at birth and was on breathing and feeding tubes for five days. There is some family history of auditory processing disorders and autism, no other delays.
  7. Salamun Alaykum brothers and sisters, My wife is expecting our second child, and I have put in many hours thinking of names. The ultrasound shows it may be a girl "most likely". My wife is totally unsure of what to name her, infact she has also thought of many names however she just seems like she is overwhelmed at the moment with the pregnancy so I try and help make suggestions and usually we build from whatever she likes. We named our first child (daughter) Kawthar. So far we have shortened the long list down to a few choices given that my wife is in her 8th month. For arguments sake we have settled on girls names for the time being and if it is a boy we have a few suitable names we like. If our child is a girl we like: 1. BILQIS (The Queen of Sheba) mentioned in the Qur'an in Surah An-Naml 2. YAQEEN meaning certainty, lack of doubt, belief, faith. This choice seems more like a boys name but I wanted to hear input I guess of what everyone thinks. I personally think Yaqeen can be a unisex name like safa or noor. *Let me know what you think about this* 3. IZDIHAR meaning blossoming, derives from Zahra. 4. TASNIM meaning fountain or spring in paradise I Surah Al-Mutaffifin Please let me know what you all think. Also, we are open to suggestions. JazakumAllah Khair. H.
  8. I am currently in 10th grade, attending a high school in Houston. I have to tell you, that I absolutely hate that place with a burning, fiery passion. I'm forced to go into this hellhole EVERY single day of my childhood, (excluding holidays and the weekends) knowing that there is a WORLD to explore. I will give you all some points as to why I HATE school; but before that, I will give some background info. So back in my early childhood, I was a great student. I had all A's on all my tests and quizzes and I never did my homework, and I still don't. It came to a point where the classes were so mind-numbingly BORING that I began to halt my focus in class, instead I started to read books and self-teach. Of course, my sleep was messed up because of this, and I continued to read, constantly till about 3 AM. Keep in mind I was in like grades 4-7. My grades began to wane, and my parents seriously emphasized my "education". I was constantly being told that if I don't go to college, I will be homeless, or working at McDonald's my entire life. I honestly now am at the point of wanting to drop out. Now here are the reasons 1.) "School" is like a prison, if not WORSE. Helpless, clueless kids are thrown into the cesspool called "School" where there individuality is suppressed, and does anything in its power to keep you from doing anything "bad". For example, not doing your homework. When you think about childhood, you should be thinking like things about curiosity and exploration, and most of all, FUN! All of this goes away when you go to school, and you are quick to realize that, YOU MUST obey, or there will be serious consequences, just like prison. Peter Gray Ph.D. Puts this in prospective In my opinion, this could not be expressed any better. 2.) The people here are just FLAT OUT stupid and immature. I have to point out that there are some smart people in schools, but not many. From my personal experience, most of these people that are "Valedictorians" are just "hard-workers", meaning that they have little to no intelligence, rather they know how to OBEY and REGURGITATE useless info on a test/quiz. A lot of these people are stuck up, and expect you to respect them, just because they have a higher number on a piece of paper that will be irrelevant once they graduate. People that I know that make the top ten percent, usually have a lot of stress at such a young age, AND they have little to no free time. They also have no concept of the real world, and if you ask a political question, they probably don't know what subject you are talking about, because that is how disconnected they are from the real world. 3.) The classes suck. They just FLAT OUT SUCK. Why make us take SO many worthless classes, that we will forget the info within a span of ONE SEMESTER. It's completely redundant. I constantly see kids piled up with stacks of homework that are just repetitive menial tasks, they just FLAT OUT destroy the youth that we should all be cherishing. Instead of going to school for 8 hours, then coming back home to spend another 3-5 hours finishing homework; (which is just work that should have been done in the 8 hours that you had already wasted.) We should have self education, or privatization of education. Because of the immaturity of kids my age, and the stupidity of the U.S. government, I have to suffer another two and a half years of more torture. I honestly believe I could have already learned about economics and accounting and, business all by MYSELF, if I wasn't so worried about my "schooling". I was planning on dropping out, however, there is no way for me to drop out until I'm 18, which makes it redundant. If I could hypothetically drop out, I would immediately enroll in my local community college, or self educate myself in business, or attend a vocational school. I'm living in a horrible world right now that puts you down for being independent, instead of being a sheep. I believe the public schooling system is made to train brainless individuals to never question authority, and work for the corporations. Please someone help me cope with this @$%@ if you have been through this dilemma. If you have any questions or concerns, let me know. I just need to let off this steam I've been keeping for many years. Sorry for the rant
  9. British Medical Journal (BMJ) Abstract: Objectives To assess the risk of on-screen death of important characters in children’s animated films versus dramatic films for adults. Design Kaplan-Meier survival analysis with Cox regression comparing time to first on-screen death. Setting Authors’ television screens, with and without popcorn. Participants Important characters in 45 top grossing children’s animated films and a comparison group of 90 top grossing dramatic films for adults. Main outcome measures Time to first on-screen death. Results Important characters in children’s animated films were at an increased risk of death compared with characters in dramatic films for adults (hazard ratio 2.52, 95% confidence interval 1.30 to 4.90). Risk of on-screen murder of important characters was higher in children’s animated films than in comparison films (2.78, 1.02 to 7.58). Conclusions Rather than being the innocuous form of entertainment they are assumed to be, children’s animated films are rife with on-screen death and murder. http://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g7184
  10. It could be a lot, but I love my parents. Everyone should love his or her parents, although they may have some disagreements. Nobody should offend or discredit his or her parents. The Holy Prophet of Islam peace be upon him says: “Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it.” The Holy Prophet peace be upon him also said. “One who displeases the parents, (it is as if) he has displeased Allah. One who angers both his parents (it is as if) he has angered Allah.” Elsewhere, it is mentioned: “One who hurts his parents hurts me and one who hurts me has hurt Allah. And the one who hurts Allah is accursed.” Mustadrak ul-Wasa’il (the name of a book) The Holy Prophet peace be upon him has also stated: “Allah will not speak to three kinds of people on the Day of Judgment (Qiyāma). Neither will He have mercy upon them nor will He purify their sins. There is for them a horrible chastisement. The Three types of people are the believers in destiny, the drunkards and those who disobeyed their parents.”
  11. Children are the Lord’s bless and mercy toward human beings. So in general, having children is a good issue and does not make any regret to the human. But we should consider that we are a wise creature. When we get married to our partner, we should know that how we have to live and how we can manage our life. I think couples should know from the first beginning of their mutual life that how many children they like to have. There are lots of couples who do love to have children, but they can’t and it is because of some kinds of diseases. On the other hand, I have seen some couples that they did not like to have any kid, but they got a baby in the first year of their marriage unintentionally. In Iran, nowadays, most of young couples like to have one or at the maximum two children. But they don’t like it to happen during the first 5 years of their mutual life. Some of them get disappointed when they understand that they have a baby during these years. Unfortunately, a major problem, sometimes, happens to those who prolong their having children and it is that they afterwards could not be parents. They go to fertility clinics to solve their problem, but it may not be solved. The Qur’an, about regretting of having children, stated to Arabs who did not like their children: “Do not kill your children for the fear of penury: We will provide for them and for you. Killing them is indeed a great iniquity. (31)” وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ خَشْيَةَ إِمْلَاقٍ ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُهُمْ وَإِيَّاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ قَتْلَهُمْ كَانَ خِطْئًا كَبِيرًا ﴿٣١﴾ Tanzil - Quran Navigator
  12. When a preschool age child asks why the parents divorced, what is the appropriate answer? I've heard that it's wrong to tell a child negative things about a parent because they will take it as a negative statement about themselves, but there's sometimes no way to answer that question honestly without making the non-custodial parent look like a louse.
  13. Children as God’s gifts and trusts need special attention and hence have various rights according Islamic teachings. To mention all duties regarding children takes and needs a very long time, but as an example it is nice to refer a case. Imam Sadiq A.S (the sixth Imam) has said: "Some things for the child are incumbent upon his/her father: - Selecting a (good) mother for him/her - giving him/her a good name - and exerting the utmost effort in raising him/her well (Tuhaf al-‘Uqul, p.238)
  14. Nowadays some try and insist to introduce themselves as the forerunners of respect for women's rights, but the reality is that more than 14 centuries ago, when girls were buried alive and had no place in a family and society, Islam had given orders to cherish them. Prophet Mohammad (SAAW) said: "Your daughters are your best children." (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v.2, p.615)
  15. salam ... please don't start debate in comments , just please provide me with answers to my question and if their is reference from quran it would be great .. thanks in advance . like just like prophat isa pbuh named with his mother name , Isa bin mariam , Isa son of mariam , can this be taken as permission for women to allow their children to bear their mothers name , for whatever the reason the family might be going through , it doesn't matter , I just want to know if the child can carry his mother name , and shia view on this . again please don't start unrelated debate , stick to the question that I asked .
  16. Salam everyone, In the name of Allah(swt), His Holy Prophet(s.w) and his noble household(a.s). Let us begin. So I've been away for a long time, but I do check things out every now and then or when I need to post an intriguing topic. Well it's time to post a topic, so recently I was in the company of some newly wed couples and the topic of children came into the discussion. I spent some time thinking about the mistakes every parent around me made with their kids. Why they are in this condition currently and what lead to their behaviour. So today we'll be discussing basically everything that the previous generation of parents have done and their errors. I've made some topics before on Muslims and new converts, alot of people have accused me of either generalization or I don't know what I'm talking about. To clear the air, THIS TIME WE'LL BE USING SCIENCE!! And by science I mean, basic psychology which I'm sure everyone will be able to grasp. So Dr.Freud, will you be my wingman as we do this? Alrighty then. #1: Introducing your kids to Religion. Now be it any religion, religion requires a certain practice and rituals which can lead to Obsessive compulsive disorder in people. Now mostly we just associate OCD with washing hands repeatedly or checking the locks again and again, but there are many subtypes of this condition which includes unwanted intrusive thoughts. If your faith commands you to stay clean at all times, many people fall into an obsession with this belief and are haunted by their own thought patterns that they can not control. Psychologists have argued OCD is rampant in ritualized societies including ours. During the wudhu, you have to wash your body in a certain "ritual" and when you are praying, many people struggle to keep "worldy thoughts" out of their head and when they cannot control any of these factors, they fall into an emotional guilt. When they committ an act considered to be a "sin", they feel even worse about themselves. I'm sure many of you have gone through this. But you are wondering, what does this have to do with introducing our children to Islam? Well my dear reader, it has everything to do with it. There are many people who push religion onto their children from a very delicate age when the mind is still developing, now if you push weight on a delicate budding flower; what do you think will happen? It will get squashed and burdened with extra duties and beliefs which in turn will lead to OCD and intrusive thoughts in the future.(Yes, this happens.) It is prefered that you introduce religion into a child's mind at the age of 7-12 where they have entered into formal education; that way they can comprehend what is being taught to them. Link with psychology: OCD in Ritualized societies. #2: Transmission of Aggression. Children like to identify in our practices and our lifestyles, how we dress and how we act. In the study of Albert Bandura labelled the same as the sub-heading above, it was observed that children are quick to adapt to the behaviour of the role-model infront of them. Males imitate Males and females imitate females. Now if you go around yelling at the guy who cut you off in traffic or verbally fighting with your spouse infront of your kid, what do you think is going to happen? They are going to copy your behaviour and use it in their own advents which in turn will lead to aggressive behaviour which in turn will lead to trouble along the road. Habits such as smoking or acts such as physical violence also come into the equation as these acts will be replicated later on in the road, and all these factors equal to how your child will behave when he grows up. What you see is what you do right? Link with Psychology: Well, I already explained the study in the post. #3: Affection Now this one is purely for the ladies reading this, I'm sure you have come across a certain breed of guys? You know which ones I'm talking about here, who we label as a "Mama's boy". They are individuals who keep comparing women to their mother for example "Why can't you cook like my mom?" Or are deeply or in some cases are very creepy in their obedience to their mother which in turn leads to marital conflicts in the future. These people are actually victims and shouldn't be looked at with ridicule or contempt. They are people who either got too much affection and attention or just too little A/A in their lives growing up from their mother-figure. The ones who want their future spouses to have certain traits of their mother are induividials who were overlooked and received zero acknowledgement growing up. They are trying to search their "mother" in other women essentially speaking. The ones who are 100% slaves to their mother's will are people who got too much attention or they fall into the same zero catergory and are desperately trying to make their parent apperciate them in their adulthood because of that. Now with that explained, please don't make the same mistake and keep a certain level of moderation with your future sons or else they will slip into this very catergory probably. Link with psychology: Oedipus complex by Freud. #4: Accept that your daughter is a woman foremost. Now this one is purely for the guys reading this, and no I'm not one of those people who are trying to attract alot of female attention into their writings. I'm all for equality here. Anyway, growing up whether you were in college or in highschool; Do you remember that one guy who always kept bragging about how many girls he's with or talks to? You know what I'm talking about here, as you read this just keep his image in your head. Guys, you have to accept the fact that your little girl is destined to be a woman and nothing can change that and nothing can prevent that.(Well not unless you try to stunt their growth which do you know is highly ILLEGAL and highly IMMORAL? I'm sure you won't do that.) Most of the Muslims which come from arab eh Let's just say MUSLIM ORIGINS(I don't want to deal with the whole writing down each race thing) are products of immigration, Your arab parents or well anyone belonging to a muslim country have this feeling of a family honour and pride. They are entitled to these beliefs because they grew up in very conservative societies and different times. But as you are reading this, you do not belong to these societies nor you ever will; You are the first generation of an immigrant society reading this in a new day and age. Let's take the hijab as an example, many muslim girls growing up have experinced their parents especially their father-figure trying to push the concept of modesty onto them which is good and is a tennant of our faith apparently but the problem lies WHEN YOU OVER-DO IT. The problem lies when you turn simple things into highly complicated matters such as "Why are you wearing this? Why are you doing this? Can you cover yourself up for God's sake?" If you keep nagging on everything your daughter does, it will lead to a very fragile self-esteem and will invoke a feeling of rebellion. Now this is where that guy from highschool comes in, These men prey on women/girls and take advantage of this little rebellion in their hearts by simply agreeing with them, they manipulate them and make them feel good about themselves and turn into a "positive male-figure in their life" while secretly carrying our their own agendas. Your daughters will probably turn into one of those classes of Muslimas which put on the hijab when going out of their house infront of their family members and then take it off when away from the house. And why will this happen? Because they will associate the hijab with your nagging and your mental oppression which will make them deter from that practice. If you push something on someone TOO OFTEN or make it into a very aggressive issue, the simple fact is you will lose that someone in your life. Don't shame women for being women. Link with Psychology: Association theories of anxiety. #5: Listening to your children. (God forbid anything happens to anyone and everything is alright.) Now this point has nothing to do with the realms of psychology, it's just a general warning to everyone reading. I've read and heard from many victims of abuse who were targeted by pedophilic dangerous induividuals. The phrase that kept popping up no matter which account I read or who I spoke to "Our parents did not listen to us" or "They didn't try to find out what was happening." If your kid fears a person or feels very uncomfortable around them or anxious, You simply brush it off or laugh it off thinking it's probably nothing. But there is something very dark and sinister going on, You have to learn to listen to what your child is trying to tell you, instead of laughing; ask them why they are hesistant and anxious around that one person? And that person can be anyone, they can be a family member(60% cases of abuse comes from family members) or any person you trust(Remember, everyone has secrets.) You are the model of stability and security in your kid's eyes, if you do not act like it then you are basically just destroying them yourselves and you are as guilty as the culprit in this situation. Learn to pick up subtle hints by observing behaviour or asking your children yourself. Anyway, that's it for today. I hope everyone has a pleasant day/night ahead of themselves and hopefully learnt something new or refreshed an old concept. A big shoutout to brother Repenter for reasons he knows why. @repenter Wasalam.
  17. A Salaam alaikum, my name is Regina, I am a mexican revert living in Toronto Canada ( scarborough now but soon moving to markham), I have one son Ali (5yrs) and a daughter Fatimah (4yrs). my husband and I decided to homeschool our kids, and its been a year since i started, I would love to conect with other families and mothers and start a supporting group of shiahomeschoolers iltemase duas
  18. Aoa. My first post here though a silent reader since a while. The Lord has given me vision/insight allowing me to see the Truth. I am now disciplined in my 5 prays, majlises and abstaining from bad things. The question: I want my nephews and nieces (aged between:8-13 years) to come on the right line like our Infallibles were brought up. Of course not DIRECTLY like they were but upon on those lines. So what activities do you suggest? They do go for majlis and namaz but that is not enough. I want them to follow Islam in spirit, to inculcate in them a spirit which makes them actively conscious of their 12th Imam ÚÌøá Çááøå ÝÑÌå ÇáÔÑíÝ. The problem is that their mother (my cousin) can't discipline herself and has created an environment not-conducive to my preaching. Nutshell: Suggest covert activities which I can engage the children in which they'll enjoy as well as develop the True Spirit of Islam. Thanks in advance!
  19. As salam alaikum everyone! A friend told me this would be the best place to get a lot of feedback in a short amount of time so I'm very much a newbie on this form (this is my first post!). This is amazing and kudos to the team that brings this to us - may you all be rewarded for your hardwork for the global community! So I'm posting to get some feedback on a new children's toy line I'm developing. Please check out the pics below and let me know what you think! It all started when I noticed my own 1.5 year old daughter learning the English alphabet super fast by simply being a kid and playing with an alphabet peg board puzzle. When I went online to buy her an arabic version, I couldn't find one or had to have it shipped to the US from overseas and it got too expensive. So then I started talking to some artisans on Etsy to see if I could make one for her but then it hit me...our children should have a whole line of educational toys to introduce them to our concepts, ideas, events and personalities at an early age and through the wonderment of childhood. So following the advice in Imam Ali's hadith of "in order to train your child, bring yourself down to their level of childhood", we established Ayat's Toys! We're in the final stage of development now and I have been on a mission to get advice/feedback/thoughts from as many young Shia parents as possible before our official launch so we would love to hear feedback/ideas/constructive criticism from as many parents (or soon to be parents! :) ) as possible. Please let me know what you think! So far, we have 2 very basic puzzles for young children. The first puzzle is a family tree of the 14 infallibles and goes "clockwise" after Imam Hussain as of course. The second is also a peg board puzzle introducing hadith-e-kisa to a young child. This will iA be accompanied by the hadith in a nice "bed time story" type format. The third is for an older 6-8 year old child so they can hopefully have discuss the moral lessons behind the choice Hurr had to make and other concepts like standing up for what's right even when it's hard. iA we hope to have new designs soon so please do keep our small endeavor in your prayers! Below are pics of my own daughter playing with the sample puzzles for her age group.
  20. I've been wondering about this for a while now. People seem to have different definitions of child abuse. For the purpose of this thread I'm going to talk about physical and emotional abuse; I really hope there are no doubts as to which side of the line sexual abuse falls on. My first question is, is there a 'line'? Depending on where you come from, the kind of childhood you had, what your parents believed in...your definition of child abuse can vary. So are there certain acceptable things and certain unacceptable things..or is this a matter of opinion? I know the general rules in sharia..being allowed to hit a child, for example, without the skin becoming red. But that is, I feel, very general. As far as physical abuse goes I suppose we could still distinguish where that line is, but not so much with emotional abuse. The factor of 'respecting your parents no matter what' (just respecting them in your heart, not behaving badly) also plays a part, which is why I'm asking this on SC. Being a little more specific, I'll outline a few scenarios and you tell me what you guys think - whether this would be considered acceptable, and if not, what is the degree of 'horror' you would rate it at. 1. Parents threatening to cut off a child's fingers if he/she doesn't cut nails, bringing a knife and everything and stopping only when the child has cried and begged. 2. Blackmailing a child. (If the child complains to the father about the mother calling calling him/her names, the mother will 'make sure Daddy knows what a bad kid you really are'). 3. Hitting a child in a way that leaves a slight bruise that'll go away in a day or two. 4. Making siblings slap each other/themselves as punishment. 5. Locking a child in a room for hours when he/she is afraid of the dark. 6. Making a child feel like she should not have been born (unintentionally), or saying other hurtful things. 7. Forcing the child to do something that is just recommended in Islam, not obligatory (recommended fasts or prayers) by threatening to cut off education or using emotional blackmail? 8. Forcing a (13-14 year old) child to eat something they cooked because it got too salty/spicy as punishment. 9. Emotionally blackmailing an older child (14 - 15) to take care of a younger sibling - like holding a sixteen year old accountable for a twelve year old's misbehavior. On a slightly digressive note, what if a child becomes disrespectful (says things like Stop this right now, you're acting crazy, snatching objects from the parent's hands like maybe something they were going to use to hit the child or a sibling with) in situations like numbers 3 or 6? Would this be warranted from a religious point of view, keeping in mind the Islamic theme to never hurt or disrespect your parents? Sorry if it got a bit long! I'd really appreciate some input.
  21. what are they, can someone tell me all their rights over children?
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