In the Name of God بسم الله
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Showing results for tags 'bullying'.
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Assalamu Alaikum Dear friends, as I see this topic more regularly talked about, it is time that I give a message and share my journey. I guess my story is more centered about depression more so than bullying, but hopefully I can help both. Being bullied is a very traumatic experience and can stick with you for what seems like the rest of your life and as a result, we go to large lengths to avoid remembering what we've experienced by taking pills and unfortunately committing suicide. I don't want to believe that humans can be so cruel to one another but this is a harsh reality we are faced with. During my schooling years, I wasn't bullied to the extent as others have, but I've had my fair share. I never really fit in to any group, any attempts were simply void of anything linked to a success in finding my place in the world. I even went to extreme measures (peer pressure) to be included (I did some pretty messed up stuff), I tried to live up to people's expectations, to be that 'cool kid' but nothing worked. After these attempts, I'd sit alone away from everyone, hoping that someone would come up to me and say "Hey everything is going to be okay". I just wanted that one friend who wouldn't use and betray me at the end. The friends I did have left me behind and this made things worse. Many times I've gone out and asked for help but I was just blatantly ignored so I stopped asking for it. I didn't know where to go. Fast-forward to high school, I was just a emotional wreck because once again, I didn't have my place in the world, doors kept shutting in my face and things were just a mess. Throughout my life, all I wanted was to feel included and to have a good friend. I remember a hadith from Imam Ali (عليه السلام) that said (paraphrased), even if you spend your life looking for a true friend, you haven't wasted it. This shows that finding that friend is a journey in itself and we shouldn't stop searching for them even if it takes a lifetime. Now I'm going to share what worked for me in the healing process. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is your friend and he wants to help, you just have to ask. Ask Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to help you through these times and to help everyone who currently faces the same situation. Asking for help is important, no matter how much you feel like your alone in the world, there is always going to be someone who wants to help. Ask someone you trust, a friend, teacher, family member, anyone you feel comfortable around and just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean the same will happen to you, there are good people in this world whom are more than willing to help. Keeping this inside you will cause a lot of damage which is why it is so important to ask for help. Another problem I had was that my mind was plagued with negative thoughts, I myself kept these thoughts bottled inside which made me more depressed and soon when I realised this I said to myself no more and took this pledge: Positivity Pledge: I shall no longer allow negative thoughts or feelings to drain me of my energy. Instead I shall focus on all the good that is in my life. I will think it, feel it and speak it. By doing so I will send out vibes of positive energy into the world and I shall be grateful for all the wonderful things it will attract into my life. Part of my problem was that I was feeding this negativity even more and in a way, I didn't let go of it. As much as I wanted to feel happy again, I never let go of the pessimistic attitude. For me the first phase of healing had to come from within, to dedicate myself to pushing this problem out of my system. Only and only when you decide you to rid yourself of this, things will get better. You have to force the problem out because if you don't it will stay with you. When people become victims of bullying, no matter how long ago it was, remnants of this painful time will always stain our memories. It's just how we view these that makes all the difference. Anyone who was a victim of childhood bullying, try your best to ignore and forget it and think about all the good that is happening in your life right now, take the above pledge and promise yourself that from now on, the thoughts you'll have are positive ones and any negativity will be flushed out. Try to see the good in everything. If you see anyone being bullied, help them so that no one again will feel the same pain. I am more than willing to have chat with anyone who is currently being/ was bullied or is depressed and wants help. We are one big family. Imam Ali "There are two types of people, Either you brother in faith or equal in humanity". If you ever need someone to talk leave a reply and I can give you contact details. With Duas and Salams.
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as salaam alakim!!!!!!!!!!! What is the Shia view of bullying?
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as salaam alakim!!! I need to get this off my chest, im not against all americans,(some are nice and look out for people), but I get made fun of and picked on a lot, and I feel some americans don't like me. And I kno or I heard shias are not against the American people, im not against all,but there are some out there who are cruel and evil, like the ones in my town, which brings me to the conclusion that we should not generalize either way or blindly accept people. Im afraid shias will turn on me if I tell them I have a problem with some of the American people, im being bullyied and harassed by some. I don't like those kind. Im also afraid shias would not accept me if I told them this.
- 20 replies
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- disrespectful
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There was and is a group of 3 students who keep making fun of me for my religious beliefs (Islam). we're all in north metro, a special ed program for at risk students. i dotn take classes with them anymore,but i used to. last year, in the 2nd semester, when i moved to the school im in now, i made a friend who i later grew apart from, who told them im muslim and who now makes fun of me. kid a kept telling me "is it true that your national anthem is, "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!"" in reference to suicide bombers. and kept saying, "ALLAHU AKBAR!!! "in front of me. he is a freshman. the kid i was friends (kid b) kept laughing at that, and once said, "hey look, it's a terrorist!" I complained about him, and he apologized, yet later he laughed when another kid kid c, said, "Hey, look, it' s a moozlem" "hahahahaha" he kept saying, and i eventually told him to knock it off, and he wouldn't, and said, "man, i voted for trump to keep out the illegals and fight the terrorists..." (Ignoring the fact that i am not a terrorist, that i was born in the united states and lived here my entire life, and my parents are both legal citizens, and abhor terrorism. ) the special ed teacher simply gently and quietly told him to stop, so i complained to the administrator of north metro, then to the assistant principal.i later walked by the north metro classrooms, to see if he would say the same thing, and sure enough, he did. i told him i would tell on him to the assistant principal, and he said, "go ahead, i dont care!" (keep in mind this is an unstable, bipolar kid who never does his work, and is always violent and unstable). i found out there was no assistant principal available. there was the vice principal, and he said he would get to the kid in a minute, but didnt, and so i called the kid all kinds of names like "cracker, white bread, redneck, chicken****, white trash," (despite me also being white, but turkish) he shouted, "youre a moozlem, and osama bin laden" i went to class, and asked the teacher and my paraprofessional (who follows me around) if i could go to the clinic because his bullying was making me sick from stress, i then asked the teacher if i could go to the counselor instead,she said ok, i forgot to tell my paraprofessional, and i went to the bathroom, because i had to, then to the counselor, but couldn't find my parapro, and she later came to class after looking for me, and got mad at me, and i had a meltdown because the class was loud, i had autism, was overwhelmed, and started kicking chairs and slamming tables, so the teacher (who has a daughter with autism and has special ed training), walked me out and took me near the special ed teacher's room to wait while she complained for me.....kid d came by, smiled and said, "dont walk the halls, sinan" and the teacher was trying to calm me down....i wasn't calm, but eventually was. i feel unsafe to go to lunch during 4a period, despite having a flexible lunch schedule since i have an online class because he is always there with his gang of thugs....and because my mother is a single mother and is in a hurry to get to work she cant make me a good breakfast and i sleep long hours due to psychiatric medication which makes me sleepy so i cant make it myself....so i get hungry.....and thirsty....every schoolday.
- 8 replies
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Salam, I'm a student of a University where there is a Hindu bully who disrespects other fellows (those who do not disrespect infront of the bully, portrayed as cowards). I myself is a peace loving person and wouldn't engage myself in any abuse or fight. What should I do, I mean I too have a reputation among others but that bully always ask me absurd question to disrespect me and Now the actual problem is: That person has taken one of my belonging that I forgot somewhere. He then approached me and said that I have to give him a treat so that he could return his belonging. Its been days and he is not giving my thing back. I have planned to take his belonging tomorrow which would probably lead to a fight because he has much ego in his heart. Now, what should I do? I want some suggestions from Islamic point of view supported by verses to calm me down and change my perspectives. Its pay back time, enough is enough. Thanks.
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As Salam Walequm:) I wanted to discuss somethings with my family on shiachat:) I have been thinking of something lately and can't get it out of my mind.. i'm taking to much stress about things that happened to me.. let me introduce myself, im a girl born in karachi but raised in NY I'm from a half shia half sunni family. My father's side is all shia and my mother's side is sunni except my grandma (she was a shia at heart from the day she was born till the day she died) she converted completely after she married my grandfather who comes from a shia family:) so im a shia haha:P.. Few years ago my parents decided to go to karachi for a year and so me and my brothers enrolled into school there.. I thought it would be fun too but i spoke to soon.. On the first day of school in pakistan i met this girl (she had 6 friends following her EVERYWHERE lol) (my parents thought me to never forget my culture and religion so i had a perfect english accent but spoke urdu most of the time:) she came near me and she smiled so i said As salam walequm and she didnt reply instead she said are you sunni or shia?(in english) ( by reading this you might think what the?? well Thats the first thing she said to me) Anyways i told her "gi meh shia hu" and i smiled.. then her and her friends all frowned at me and said "ew i hate shia yuck" and walked away laughing at me.. i never made friends in that school and eventually told my mom that i wanted to go back to ny but she couldn't go because we just came so i went to that school for 2 months and the rest 8 months i was home schooled we finally left pakistan (Allah ka shuker) (i love pakistan with all my heart but the position i was in only i could understand, it was complicated to live there) Ok i know this is my past and i should just move on but it's been haunting me forever.. i have friends who are many religions here and they have no problem with me but why do people who are the closest to my religion do this? Sunni or Shia we are both apart of Islam and should live peacefully This is like india vs pakistan .. why can't we get along? This might be a stupid topic to talk about but to me it's a lot.. and if anyone has advice about what I did wrong i'll be glad to hear it:) Please understand:) Shukria:)
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