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It seems to me that Breakups are a bit of a taboo around us. Despite our best efforts at being non-judgmental, there seems to be a lot of pressure to make things work your first time. Or to make them work, period. Now this can be a good thing, to instill in us the essential values of patience and compromise. We've all seen those cases where immaturity leads to disaster. And if you're even in a borderline open-minded community, cases of physical abuse or blatant disregard of Sharia are considered valid reasons to break up. But anyone who's been there knows that there is no fine line there. My question is, what happens when you're mature (the people around you second that), you try to make it work (a couple years), and you're still not sure about the relationship? When you can't really explain your reasons to the people closest to you, or even yourself? Let's say hypothetically that the family's great, and the guy can be trusted not to intentionally do anything against Sharia. But he comes from a different background, has different views on what it means to be conservative and supportive and just how much a woman should be submissive to a guy. Bottom line, you have doubts. What would you do? Is there anyone out there with a case that sounds similar? I'd also love to hear from anyone on their second try, relationship-wise. Thanks!
Salam, I'm a bit of a mess. I started wearing the hijab 5 years ago. It was natural for me to do it. I just did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. A year later, a started suffering from bad anxiety and panic attacks... even leaving my house would be a problem. I skipped a lot of classes and wouldn't go out with friends. I became more shy and quiet. I lost myself. I lost my bubbly personality. I always have my family and friends driving me everywhere because i get horrible anxiety when I take the bus/subway. Anyway, so last year I met this guy. He wanted to get to know me (the halal why) he met why family and all that. We had a great relationship. He actually helped me without knowing it, he would make my anxiety disapear. We would go out to places and I wouln't have panic attacks at all. He didn't even know I had anxiety issues. And as the date of the khotbe approched... he called me and said it was over... It was the biggest slap... we never fought, never had problems, everything was going fine. Now that he left I feel like I have to reconstruct myself and get better but the hijab has been an obstacle in many ways. I can't find a job and I just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I need to find myself. What should I do? Thank you
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