Search the Community

I believe one of the main exceptions of gheebah is when you have been wronged by someone else or oppressed. I used to be under the impression that if you are wronged or oppressed you are able to mention it to anyone you wish without restriction, but perhaps not to the extent of doing it to defame someone. However, I have recently learnt that our maraja limit this exception (ehtiyat e wajib) of gheebah to those who are able to help (I believe). Moreover, the kinds of people who are able to help are specified and limited. I believe these are limited to: 1. To a judge [or a lawyer]. 2. In an employment context to an employer 3. In the context of mental well-being or distress, to a formal counsellor. Not just anyone who may informally act as a counsellor to help the oppressed person come to terms with the gheebah or look at it, or understand it, from a different perspective, eg, a wife [or friend]. I believe this is according to Sayyid Sistani and perhaps Sayyid Khamenei is a little less restrictive with regards to the formal counsellor. Does this mean, for example if a woman is being abused by her husband, she is not allowed to mention it to her father or another member of her family who may be able to help. If someone is wronged and distressed by someone else's actions does this mean they are not allowed to 'vent' to someone they trust for their mental health like a friend, spouse or elder they trust and respect for advice? Please could someone elaborate on the exceptions of gheebah generally and specifically in the case of being wronged and whether it is only if when seeking help. This could be according to any well recognised marja you are aware of. I am aware that if there is serious oppression occurring then it is almost obligatory to publicise it to try and prevent it happening, whether it was to you or others, such as in certain countries in the world today. Jazakallah

I don't really understand what exactly counts as back biting somebody. Does just talking ill about them really account or is it if you lie about them and gossip about them? Secondly, there is a hadith that said Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) won't forgive them until they apologize to the victim of the backbiting, what if (for whatever reason) it is improbable or if there is something in your way which prevents you from apologizing to them?

Would talking about what someone did bad, hurt you or annoy you in his/her absence be considered as gheebah ? Like talking with colleagues about your boss' lack of management skills, or with your wife about the bad akhlaq of that cousin, etc... ? I mean when the defaults are here and some harm is done somehow. Not getting into defamation or free insult. Thanks,

Salaam, I have close Muslim friends who I know online for 2 years, It's a group of people, this group of people publicly deny their South asian heritage and ancestry even when there is proof that they are not who they say they are. One is a male who is Hyderabadi (SouthIndian full blooded) and claims he's an Arab and Persian, he started insulting my religion when I confronted him even when i was respectful, I am no longer friends with this guy, The other person is a Female, She is Pakistani Punjabi and pretends to be Lebanese, I confronted this Women as well and she began insulting me personally, so I am no longer her friend, These 2 people have been insulting my family and talking about me when i am not present, There is something in the Quran about this, "Who deny their fathers linage is cursed by GOD (Allah)" and something about backbting/gossiping, please help me with this

Salam all, So my mum has this cultural habit of backbiting. ALWAYS finding bad to say about someone in one way or another. Even those who have just died. She just focuses on the bad they have done. I have tried telling her politely for a long time. She would get angry and say "are you my mother or am I yours". It is literaly doing my head in, I feel like running away from home. I like can't take it anymore. If she does it sometimes, I'll be like mum, please just leave it, or change the subject, or defend the person. But how do I get her to break this habit? and I don't want to even listen to it! arghh please help, can someone advise me on what to do and how to? I just wish the ground would swallow me up right now, honestly. I don't even feel like eating because I am just so put off by this.

I have to be honest here, I tend to backbite quite a lot. But having said that, a lot of the things I say about people, if not everything, is said without an evil intention. I'll try to give a couple of examples without naming names to give you an idea of the context in which I backbite, and to ask you if it is still unacceptable, or if it can be overlooked: 1) Let's suppose I support a football team and a player leaves the club I support. Would me insulting him be considered backbiting? 2) Sticking to the same context of football, if a player from a club I support misses a penalty, or misses an open goal, would insulting that player be considered back biting, bearing in mind what I said above about me not meaning what I say? 3) Again sticking to football, what if a player performs poorly and I mention his poor performance, is that backbiting. To expand on this, sometimes you find in newspapers or online, players are rated based on their performance. If they are given a low score and it's said that they were not at their best, or where no good, is that backbiting? 4) I understand I'm going on quite a bit so I'll make this my last example. What if I am talking behind the back of a friend. Not insulting them, nor disrespecting them, maybe just joking about them in the same way I would if they in front of me anyway. So I'm not saying anything I wouldn't say if they were present, is that backbiting? I understand that there will be a difference of opinion, which is why I have forwarded a similar question to Sistani but nevertheless having a variety of opinions may help me understand the situation a bit more, so thank you for any replies :D