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In the Name of God بسم الله

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  1. Salam, I think that having both account approval and post approval for your first 5 posts is redundant. We also have account validation via email which only further stresses my point. The only reasons I can think of to have account approval would be to check the user's IP address and username, both of which can be done at the post approval stage. I believe that the current process is driving away new users and is probably doing more harm than good for the community. Edit: Just to be clear, my suggestion is to do away with account approval and just have account validation + post approval.
  2. As-salamualaykum, A very good friend of mine is interested in a sister for marriage. He approached her parents already, but they aren't too favorable about allowing their daughter to get to know him for marriage because of his only local family member in the area - an extended family member who has multiple wives. So, before granting permission for this brother to start talking to this sister, her parents have focused on this family member of his and what this brother thinks of his relative's choice of lifestyle. Even though he has reiterated that he himself will never engage in a polygamous relationship, this sister's parents aren't satisfied with his answers because he has not outright condemned his relative's polygamous marriage and has not outright condemned polygamy in America in general. Plus, since marriage is not just the joining of two individuals but the joining of two families, her parents are concerned with her entering into a family that has such a family member. For example, they have stated concerns that their grand kids will be raised thinking polygamy is okay because they are in that environment. Now this brother's parents are against the match as well and don't want their son to pursue her anymore. His parents are insulted with how this sister's parents focused solely on this family member from the get-go and seem to be overlooking this brother's positive qualities and judging him harshly because he has such a family member with an atypical and perhaps ethically questionable lifestyle. They also found this sister's parents as coming off really strong in how they don't want their daughter marrying this brother and so this brother's parents find no point for their son to continue in pursuing her. This sister and brother are very much interested in each other, however, despite their parents disapproval of the match. They feel that they are compatible with each other and would like to have gotten married, if it weren't for the fact that their parents, particularly this sister's parents, were giving such a hard time. Now they cannot go forward anymore with their parents involvement because neither parents want it. So my question is, should they proceed without the parents approval? I know Islamically if the parents reject a man based on un-Islamic reasons, then the girl can marry him without their permission. And, yes, in this case the sister's parents have not explicitly rejected this brother, but were very much not approving of the match and were allowing it to barely inch forward (it finally ended when this brother's parents stopped their son from continuing). But, of course, we can't just look at what is Islamically right because that would be putting this brother and sister in a hard position of ruining their relationship with their family, which neither of them want to resort to. Has anyone been in or seen a similar experience and are willing to talk about it? I'm sure these situations are fairly common in America because of all the different ideas Muslims have regarding marriage and what to focus on, etc. Any advice would be much appreciated, especially from people who found themselves in a similar situation. Thanks!
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