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Assalamu Alaikum to all. I reverted to Shia Islam in my late teenage years but I'm now only realizing now at the age of 30 how lost I've actually really been with my faith & life throughout those years. I don't think I realized when accepting at that time the heaviness & the seriousness of my responsibilities towards actually really knowing God, His Attributes & worshipping Him properly, with either real understanding or sincerity of the heart. I feel I've just lived a life so far of shallowness & insincerity towards God & Religion overall & it causes me such extreme fear, grief & sadness everyday. Since a very young age I've suffered with an array of various psychological issues which were not treated properly at the time due to factors such as probably genetics, my upbringing & social environment I was in. Forgive me, as I don't know how to articulate & explain my situation in concise manner & detail. I'm very ashamed to admit I haven't really done obligatory prayers, made duas, followed or understood the laws within Islam in that lifetime properly. One of the main reasons is due to a very torturous & unique perfectionism personality disorder which has affected my overall life & it has affected me from actually reaching my potential or achieving any type of success in life, whether that be in a career, education, job or relationships with others. It's such a psychological condition that it makes me give up on everything if I don't live or do something perfectly or in order & affects every aspect of my life, it's very difficult to explain but it's such a mental torture, as it just wastes my years & I end up just living a purposeless life, I just can't control it. I also throughout my life have suffered constant anxiety, particularly social anxiety, depression & other conditions undiagnosed conditions aswell. This condition has affected me from seriously reading, studying, learning & practicing my faith properly & developing any real connection with God, Qur'an & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). I have some little knowledge of my faith due to watching many lectures over the years from various speakers/scholars but I feel completely confused & lost. I've been living on my own all these years but I've been in denial about some of my mental health issues & I have sinned & transgressed personally aswell such that I fear I am being punished in this life & the next. I've also neglected reading & reciting Quran for so long, not because I didn't want too but my condition is such but I've also been ignorant aswell & I lack the knowledge & wisdom or is my heart hard not receiving truth or guidance due to my sinning & ignorance..I just don't know if I'm sincere or not. My heart feels very tight when I'm trying to approach & read Quran & I get constant blasphemous/negative, insincere thoughts, thoughts of Quran not being the words of God or true & that you don't believe it & is this really from God. I feel deep down in my heart & soul that Islam, Quran & the personalities of Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) is the truth but my faith foundations are weak & I fear I've gone completely astray. I fear my beliefs being shallow & insincere, as I feel constant tightness when trying to get close to God & I'm always trying to speak to Him in my own way but I don't feel anything which pains me so much. I feel my life has no purpose without God & doing any good deeds or setting any goals in life is meaningless without doing them for the sake of God. I don't want to do good for myself, I just want to know & please God, to really have firm belief in Him & love for Him in my heart but I just don't know anymore, my chest & heart feels very tight. I feel my life is wasted & I constantly just think about death, grave & eternal punishment. I feel I've been shallow, insincere & not really praised towards God sincerely because I don't really know Him as I should. I felt a connection to God when I first reverted to Islam through knowing Prophet Muhammad(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) & Imam Hussain((عليه السلام)) but now I don't feel anything at all & it pains me so much. I don't even know what I am anymore. I fear because I forgot Allah for so long that he made me forget my own self. I really want to follow & understand Islam properly but I fear not having the mental capacity & God not guiding me & leaving me astray to live & die like this because of how much I've done wrong to my own self/soul due to excessive sinning/transgressions & not fulfilling obligations over so many years. I have some family members like my mother who is very loving & supportive but they are non Muslims & whatever they say can't help me because I just want to know Allah but I fear my heart is too hard now & that I connect to Him, Quran & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) due to these issues. I fear I'm not humble, grateful & not completely surrendering myself sincerely towards God because I'm so caught up in my own head & unbalanced psychologically. I didn't remember or have trust in Him for so many years, I feel I lack the faith, knowledge, wisdom & emotional/mental capacity to comprehend & understand Quran. I'm only able to read Quran in English language which is limiting & I read it & I don't feel connected to God which makes me have extreme fear, then when I'm reading certain stories I get thoughts in my mind & heart that this isn't God's word, which really pains me because I seek that belief & guidance from Quran. I know only a few Shia Muslim brothers but we aren't that close, we live apart & they are older than myself & they have careers, work, families & productive lives unlike me. I hardly keep in touch with them because I'm ashamed of who I am. I just seek guidance from God, as I don't want anything else in life but at the same time I suffer psychologically. I've been trying to pray the daily prayers for the past year consistently but it's becoming too difficult for me now due to the psychological state I'm in & I just don't feel I'm being humble or sincere in belief & worship towards God...it absolutely kills me but I just can't pray when I'm in this state of mind but then I get more intense anxiety for missing so many prayers. I live on my own & I cry nearly everyday for months now calling out to God for help & guidance but I feel he doesn't want me because of how arrogant, ignorant, shallow & insincere I've been over the years towards Him or maybe I just don't really know Him. I've done wrong to myself but some things I just can't do or control psychologically & it frustrates me so much. I feel mentally & physically fatigued everyday. I cannot eat, drink or sleep properly. I don't want to live & die in this state. I don't want to die as a disbeliever, hypocrite, sinner or a wrongdoer but what can I do if I can't connect or be guided to Allah, Qur'an or Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). It's all becoming so overwhelming for me now. I watch many inspiring lectures from various speakers & scholars but it's one thing being inspired/motivated by their words relating to Allah, Quran & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) & then you yourself having that firm belief & understanding to implement these teachings in your life & being on your own for over a decade. Forgive me if I haven't made much sense in what I've wrote but as you can probably tell by my post I'm just mentally not in a good state & I don't want to lose this life & the next life but I fear I've completely lost myself, my faith & knowing & having firm belief in the religion of Islam but my intention is not too lose it or not to know the truth before death overtakes me. I don't know where to turn anymore. I always like to go outside for walks by myself & I'm always trying to ponder & reflecting on the creations & signs of God around me to try & know Him, whether it be looking into the the sky during the day or at night, observing the Sun, the Moon & Stars, looking at the sea, looking on at the various birds, creatures insects, flowers & plants etc but for some reason I still can't seem to connect to or feel God's presence. I also seek that feeling of opening & listening Qur'an & knowing this is for sure revelation from Allah, I don't know if I'm just telling or forcing myself out of fear, as I get intense anxiety in my head & chest when I try to read the Quran, I just don't want to be insincere in belief, as I just seek guidance in my life because I don't want to waste more years & lose forever in the hearafter for not being sincere & submissive in belief towards God, The Qur'an, The Holy Prophet(s.aw) & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). I just really seek to live a fulfilling life in believing & serving God sincerely & actually live & die with firm faith in the heart but I fear God doesn't want to guide me or is He guiding & I'm I not accepting his guidance...I just don't know. Thank you for taking the time to read this post & God bless.

Hazrat Ibne Abbas (رضي الله عنه) narrated that Prophet Hazrat Muhammed Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) recites this dua in disquieting (Bechaini) or Anxiety. “Lailaha Illal Lahul Azeemul Haleem, Lailaha Illal Lahu Rabbul Arshil Azeem, Lailaha Illal Lahu Rabbus Samaa vaate Wa Rabbul Arze Wa Rabbul Arshil Qareem” Reference: “Sahi Bukhari” “No one is worthy of worship except Allah who is great No one is worthy of worship except Allah who is the lord of Arsh (celestial sphere) No one is worthy of worship except Allah who is the owner of the sky and land and prestigious Arsh” We all know that Prophet Yunus Alahi Salam was in the abdomen of the fish for 40 days but very few people know that how Prophet Yunus Alaihi Salam get back from there. Arabic verses: “Falaulah Annahu Qaana Minal Musabbeheen Lalabe Safi Baknehi Ila Yaomil Wa Afoon” Meaning: If he was not the paternoster (tasbeeh reciter), then he would be in the abdomen of the fish until the resurrection. The tasbeeh or litany that Prophet Yunus (عليه السلام) recited in that tribulation: “La Ilaaha Illaa Anta Subhaanaka Inni Quntu Minazzaa Lemeen” Reference: Surah-Al-Anbya (21:87) Meaning: “There is no good but you, exalted are you, Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers. Reference Source: 5 Magical Dua for Anxiety and Depression

Salam everyone. i have generalised anxiety disorder with underlining depression. As I get older, I can feel it getting worse & worse.. lately I could not do the simplest task like driving or studying. I was wondering if there’s anything religious that can help my mental health? A Shia book maybe? Anything suggestions will help

As-salamunalaikum, I was wondering what people think about the moral traits, behaviour, akhlaq, of a person (male and female) towards other people in general life, IN THIS GENERATION. How do you think one should be with other people (Muslim and non-Muslim)? What moral traits and characteristics do you think are a MUST in this generation towards other people, and why? What kind of a person are you when you are alone, and what kind of a person are you when you are around other people? If there is a difference, then why is that so? How do you react when people judge you based on your traits? What traits and lessons have you adopted from the teachings of Islam and the Ahlulbayt? What do you do when you see someone constantly scared from judgement from others? How would you help them? How would you help a depressed person? - OR - How do you deal with your own depression? How do you deal with anxiety and nervousness? Especially, when around other people? What keeps you grounded to your roots? What is your idea of tawakkul? What is your idea of a happy and satisfying life? What are things that give you happiness? What satisfies you? What advice would you give to your fellow people about these traits and life in general? I'm really hoping to get some answers for these questions, since I think they'll be beneficial for others as much as for me. So kindly try your best to answer at least a few or all of them, if possible. Jazakallah Khair Wa-assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullah

Salaam. I'm Algerian and was born Sunni but recently became Shia, alhumdullilah. I was born into a very strict Sunni household and I'm 17 so I can't leave. Because of my upbringing its kind of hard for to connect to shi'ism (they make me go to Sunni school and say very anti-Shia things in front of me). After becoming Shia ive felt very distant from my Sunni friends (all my friends are Sunni) though :-( after I told them that I became Shia they made cruel jokes to me and I brushed it off but it does hurt. I've been depressed for around 4 years and have cut and attempted suicide in the past. I have really bad social anxiety so them drifting away from me has left me alone. I can't talk to my parents about my depression because they think I'm "faking it" and refuse to give me a therapist. I've never done a forum chat thing or whatever this is but I'm desperate. I don't know what I'm asking for, I just want to let my feelings out I guess? but my suicidal thoughts have come back recently and I keep thinking about self-harming. I don't know what to do and am afraid that I will hurt myself

Salam alakum, Alhamdilalah I am a practicing Muslima with faith in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I experience real moments of connection with Allah on a day to day basis and during ibadah and understand from a rational/ logical perspective that He knows what's best for me with regards to putting me through hardship, making me wait to meet a partner and reach my career goals etc etc. However, I feel like my heart does not fully believe this because why am I anxious about the future, uncertain and unsatisfied with my current situation? I'd like to know if you struggle with this with too and whether you have any recommendations for 3amal/ duaas prayers, for reading or general lifestyle tips. I hope this makes sense- I know the question is a little bizarre. Thanks in advance.

Hello all, I am a female going to Karbala and Najaf for the first time from the USA. I was wondering if someone would be able to answer some of my questions. It will greatly be appreciated. Thanks: 1) I know that makeup is not allowed. But what about eyelash extensions? These are fake individual lashes that are placed on your real lashes. They look natural. I just don't want anyone giving me a hard time for having them. 2) I am going to be on my menstrual cycle. Is there any advice regarding this? 3) Any other advice will greatly be appreciated. Thank-you.

Salam alayikum! Whenever I pray it feels hard to breathe and I feel this huge pain in my heart. Even when its cold I feel warm, sometimes I even start to sweat. Can you give me an answer why? I would really appreciate an answer.

Employee who took sick days for mental health gets unexpected response from CEO Published July 11, 2017 A CEO's reply to an employee's mental health email went viral. (BrianAJackson) A Michigan CEO’s reply to his employee’s sick day email has gone viral. Madalyn Parker, a web developer at Olark Live Chat, emailed her colleagues at the end of June to let them know she’d be taking two days off to focus on her mental health. “Hopefully I’ll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%” Parker wrote in the email. In an unexpected turn of events, CEO Ben Congleton replied directly to Parker, thanking her for shining a light on mental health. “I use (your email) as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health – I can’t believe this is not standard practice at all organizations,” Congleton wrote. “You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work.” Parker went on to share screengrabs of the email exchange on Twitter. The tweet, posted on June 30, has since been retweeted more than 11,000 times as of Tuesday. Congleton was praised by some Twitter users for the refreshing response. “Great to see such understanding from executive management,” one Twitter user wrote. The CEO took the email exchange a step further, writing about mental health in the workplace on Medium. He urged other company leaders to “empower and motivate” their teams by “expressing gratitude” to their employees and reflecting on their business values. One in five adults in the United States experiences mental illness every year, according to the National Alliance of Mental Illness. http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/07/11/employee-who-took-sick-days-for-mental-health-gets-unexpected-response-from-ceo.html

السلام عليكم I am someone who has been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder due to serotonin deficiency. I have seen that antidepressants (SSRIs) work for me but when I take them I feel like I'm a different person. I also feel less inhibited and may even consider Islamic things less important. I notice that when I am depressed I spend more time in prayer and studying Islam because in a depressed state I am more introspective and conscious of my role as a mortal creation and of the despair that is inherent in a life without Allah from whom all Hope is derived. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a state of constant suffering and though Allah provides me just enough strength to overcome it so that I don't fall to utter perdition in terms of suicide or complete social withdrawal (though I contemplate it at times, especially the latter), this medication can boost me up in an easier way. The struggle, the burden is lifted without any effort, but in the process I lose "me" and I feel alienated from my "soul" and its realization of the rights Allah has upon it. I apologize if I can't articulate myself properly. I just don't know whether I should be "me" and face this struggle or take a medication to assuage all my discomforts in one fell swoop. If you have any advice or know of any ahadith the Aimmah عليهم السلام said about the constant struggle of depression or any struggle that seems futile from a worldly perspective, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you في امان الله

How do you guys cope with stress?

salam alaikum everyone .. iam new here i use to have anxiety and depression . been going through some rough patches ,. use to do some anti depressants for a month or so now i got this intrusive memory . its a happy one but its stuck in my head . i was wondering is there any dua or tips for anxiety or stuff like this that i can read ? thank you any positive replies will be appreciated

I struggle with : being patient, thinking positively, praying, accepting my existence, forgetting my past, and lots more.... BUT im still living

Salam guys !!! I hope you all are fine and enjoying your life very well. Thanks to Allah almighty who gave me a very healthy life but I can't enjoy my life like you guys. I am 17 years old and the previous years of my life were passed very well but now 4 months ago I didn't even enjoyed a single moment of my life and the reason is Fear which has become very strong and making my life like hell and I have the fear of getting diseases, injuries and brain damage or similar to these things. I don't scared of death but I fear slowly or painful death which caused by diseases. I hope you guys will understand me. This causes anxiety which makes my day hell I don't know what I do ??? My father is searching for a phsycotherapist but I don't think he will help me because I am loosing my hope even I don't enjoy my favourite things I am loosing my dreams even it doesn't even let me study my exams are ahead I don't know for how long I have to live like this or I don't know will I ever be free from this or not ? I am not getting answers of my prayers by Allah and I am not feeling satisfied even I regularly offer prayers and I am feeling like a misguided one because I am loosing my trust on Allah which I don't want my parents are also worried because I m the only child even I also give the sake of ahlulbayt a.s at the end of my prayer and recite durood but nothing is working my mom is saying me that I should visit roza-e-Imam Hussain a.s and you will be fine completely ? This is an only hope for me but still there is a fear my fear was started when I got a hit on the back of my head and there was no blood came out and people say that it's not good if blood doesn't comes out it makes me fear that It will kill me or there is something happened in my head or brain thank god I didn't faced any bad thing but lower eyesight and constant worries and Its look like that this fear will never go away even it's getting stronger and somedays I don't even sleep properly. Whenever I listen something about brain my fear get triggered and makes me panic I can't see my future I have lot of goals but...... I don't wana loose my hope and trust on Allah and ahlulbayt but I am not getting any answer or relief help me guys ?? ( ignore grammar mistakes)

AS I have told you all before, I have panic disorder and autism....my psychologist suggested something called a paleo diet, where I stop eating grains, dairy, and vegetables that were not around at the time of cavemen or other early humans.........i have heard about grain free diets before, and my special ed teacher of the past and my psychologist have said that research shows that dairy causes autism....is there any proof to back this up? i need help right away, as i had a panic attack at school on wednesday, the last day of school for that week, (no school for thursday or friday) and i lost many points on my points sheet (i go to alternative school) because i tried listening to ruqyah for social anxiety, and when my parapro told me to turn it down, i got into an argument and when he said it was bothering others i told him they could go to hell.....also, i kept asking to leave class and call my mother, and lost more points......i have already dropped from level 4 to level 3, and i am borderline dropping from level 3 to level 2, as i can earn a possible 108 points in 3 days, and already lost 14, and need 85 percent to stay on level 3....i need to stay on level 4 and have 5 or less incidents in my target behaviors in the last 6 weeks to leave alternative school, and my dad says i can't go to turkey to visit relatives until i've been out of alternative school for a whole year......im in 11th grade now..but anyway, does this diet help, and how do i control my behaviors?

Hi, as you guys know the exam's are up and I have my math's exam soon. I don't know what to do since I'm really bad. And I am not exactly acing all the other subjects at school either. I almost failed on my favorite subject and because of that I am so depressed and anxious. So if you guys kn ow any dua's please reply this. Thank you so much in advance.

Salam, I'm a bit of a mess. I started wearing the hijab 5 years ago. It was natural for me to do it. I just did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. A year later, a started suffering from bad anxiety and panic attacks... even leaving my house would be a problem. I skipped a lot of classes and wouldn't go out with friends. I became more shy and quiet. I lost myself. I lost my bubbly personality. I always have my family and friends driving me everywhere because i get horrible anxiety when I take the bus/subway. Anyway, so last year I met this guy. He wanted to get to know me (the halal why) he met why family and all that. We had a great relationship. He actually helped me without knowing it, he would make my anxiety disapear. We would go out to places and I wouln't have panic attacks at all. He didn't even know I had anxiety issues. And as the date of the khotbe approched... he called me and said it was over... It was the biggest slap... we never fought, never had problems, everything was going fine. Now that he left I feel like I have to reconstruct myself and get better but the hijab has been an obstacle in many ways. I can't find a job and I just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I need to find myself. What should I do? Thank you

Dealing with Anxiety: Imam Jafar as Sadiq (a) has said in Lantern of the Path/Misbah ash Shariah "Affliction is an adornment for the believer and a mark of honour for the man of intellect, because facing it directly needs steadfastness and firm-footedness, both of which confirm belief. The Holy Prophet said, 'We, the company of the prophets, are the people who have the hardest trials, then after us come the believers, then the others like them.' Whoever tastes the food of affliction while under Allah's protection enjoys it more than he enjoys Allah's blessing. He yearns for it when it is not there, because the lights of blessing lie under the balance of affliction and trial, and the balance of affliction and trial lies under the lights of blessing. Many are delivered from affliction and then destroyed in blessing. Allah praised none of His bondsmen, from Adam up to Muhammad, until He had tested him and seen how he fulfilled the duty of worship while in affliction. Allah's marks of honour come, in fact, at the last stage, but the afflictions themselves come in the beginning." He (a) has also said: "Patience reveals whatever light and purity there is in the innermost being of Allah's servants, while anxiety shows up the darkness and bereftness inside them. Everyone claims to be patient, but only the humble are firm in it. Everyone denies his anxiety, although it is quite obvious in a hypocrite because the onset of trials and afflictions tells you who is truthful and who is a liar. Patience is a sensation that continuously prevails in one's consciousness, but what occurs upon a sudden upset cannot be called patience. Anxiety is what disturbs the heart and brings the person sorrow, changing his complexion and his state. Every event whose beginnings are without humility, repentance, and humble supplication to Allah comes from someone who is anxious, not someone who is patient. The beginning of patience is bitter, but its end is sweet for some people; but for others both its beginning and end are bitter. Whoever enters it at its end has entered it. Whoever enters it from its beginning has left it. A person who knows the value of patience cannot bear to be without it." and lastly: "Sorrow is one of the marks of the gnostics, through the magnitude of what comes to them of the Unseen when they are in seclusion, and the intensity of their glorification of Allah. The outer being of the sorrowful is contraction and his inner being is expansion." Here is a short dua from Imam Taqi Al Jawad (a) on Anxiety, from As-Saheefatul Jawaadiyyah: "aa man yakfee min kulli shay' Walaa yakfee munhu shay' Ikfinee maa ahammanee mimaa anaa feeh." O He who is sufficent from all things But nothing is sufficient from Him. Be sufficient for me in what worries me in the state I am. Related from Imam Jafar Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã, some short dua's from the Quran: ”Wa Ufawwizu Amree ilallaah inallaaha baseerun bil ibad” (40:44) So you shall remember what I say to you, and I entrust my affair to Allah, Surely Allah sees the servants. ”Mashaallahu laa Quwwata illa billah" (18:39) And wherefore did you not say when you entered your garden: It is as Allah has pleased, there is no power save in Allah? If you consider me to be inferior to you in wealth and children "La ila ha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minazzalimeen" (21;87) And Yunus, when he went away in wrath, so he thought that We would not straiten him, so he called out among afflictions: There is no god but Thou, glory be to Thee; surely I am of those who make themselves to suffer loss. "Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel" (3:173) Those to whom the people said: Surely men have gathered against you, therefore fear them, but this increased their faith, and they said: Allah is sufficient for us and most excellent is the Protector. Also remember: "ala bithikriAllahi tatma-innu alquloob" (13:28) Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest "Allahu la ilaha illahuwa lahu al-asmao alhusna" (20:8) Allah! there is no god but He! To Him belong the most Beautiful Names. Names of Allah: Al-Waahid (The Unique) One who recites this name alone and in a quiet place will be free from fear and delusion. Al-Quddus (The Holy) One who recites 100 times every day will be free from anxiety. Al-Badi (The Incomparable) One who recites this name 70 times will be free from all troubles. Ar-Rasheed (The Guide to the Right Path) One who recites this name 1000 times between Maghrib and Isha Namaz will be safe from troubles. "Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (Qur'an 3:173-174) "And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (5:23) "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (2:153) "Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (3:173-174) "And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (5:23) "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (2:153) Imam Ali (a) said: Worthy men are reserved for times of adversity. Ghurar al hikam, p. 581 Also refer to these links http://www.al-islam.org/ethics/6.htm#n26 http://www.al-islam.org/ethics/15.htm#n15

If yes, is this kind of perfectionism good or bad?