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Afghan friends vs American friends

Salaam Alaikum sisters and brothers, I come here for explaining about my situation and see other people opinion about my case, I am a 20 y.o guy born in Barcelona, Spain. My background comes from a catholic- but not practicant nor religous family. About 2 years ago I started to become interested about Islam and started to make my own research into in on the net, etc. I also visited a Sunni mosque in Barcelona, where they explained me basis of Islam and some of their Sunni traditions. On a travel to a North European country, I get to know an Afghan girl (Shia muslim) working on her family market, and I showed her my interest on her religion and asked some of my questions about it, she helped me with my issues and yea. I kind of liked the way she was explaining me about her religion, and we kept in contact with each other when I went back to my home city. We became closer and closer with each other, talked about personal life, family, and of course, the religion. About a year ago, I went back to that country, and there, after a year of research about Islam, and figuring out about my beliefs, I became a muslim in the Imam Ali Mosque (largest Shia mosque in Europe). The Imam taught me maaany many things during my stay, I spent lot of my time in the mosque, talking with other brothers, etc. After converting to Muslim, at the begining when I was back home, I was praying on my room, and my family didn't really know anything about about my conversion, since I knew talking or explaining about this to them would be something difficult for them. But I had to explain about all this when Ramadan came, because I wanted to fast and perform it. So I had a serious talk with my family and explained everything about my conversion, about Islam and that I wanted to do Ramadan. At the first days it was very very difficult for them to understand it, and we had many fights and a not so-good atmosphere at home, but after some time, it all kind of normalised for them. The Afghan girl I met was always a support for me, we always was in contact with each other, and really really helped me in the difficult moments with my family, as well as I was a support for her, we was talking a lot, helping with school issues, talking about our families, daily things, everything. And we "fell in love" with each other. She of course keeps everything about me in secret with her family, and they don't know anything about me, she talks with me hiding the headsets, or deletes the conversations, and keeps everything hidden since sometimes her brothers check her phone. She is 19 years old, and originally from Afghanistan, but has been living in Europe with her family for more than 15 years. She is Hazara Afghan, in case this helps. She is the only daughter in the family and has 6 brothers. The issue comes when we start to think about future, about being together and about the difficulties we might have. She says her family is pretty restrictive and her dad has even told her that he would like her to marry with some of her cousins, but she of course refuses to that. She says that the family can refuse her to marry with a Spanish guy instead of an Afghan one, or a Spanish guy who converted to islam without a muslim family, and yea.. I would like to know your thought about all this, if know some case about reverted man marrying a muslim woman, and if had issues with that. Because it's common to see marriages betwen converted woman and muslim man, but not the opposite.. Or if there is someone that knows about the Afghan traditions and could advice me with that, or give me their own oppinion. --- We have met with each other because I've travelled to her city 2 times after meeting her for the first time, we didn't just see each other one time. --- On the mosque, I got to know an Afghan man, and he resulted to be an Imam when he was in Afghanistan, as well he has been Imam in Iran and Dubai. We have become close to each other, explained me afghan traditions, and he has also helped me a lot with my Islam questions. I exposed to him my situation with the afghan girl, and he said that he could come with me and my family the day that I decide to go ask for her hand to her family. -- Will this help be very helpful? Sorry for the long post, but felt like I had to explain it long so it could be understood, if you have any question, or something is not clear at all, be open to ask. Thanks for your attention, Daniel

Three wars were carried out by Britain on Afghanistan and Afghans- What do you think on them, their impact on today. Is Britains influence on Afghanistan and the Pashtun region overrated? The last war ended with the Durand agreement, which is over now but still Pakistan denies to keept its part of the agreement? Was it a clever game by the British or are Pakistan and Afghanistan too pig-headed to get an agreement and therefore have lasting peace. Here is a detailed story for those who have never heard or read of those wars. http://www.britishbattles.com/first-afghan-war/kabul-gandamak.htm http://www.britishbattles.com/second-afghan-war/ali-masjid.htm

Selam everyone, I am deeply in love with an Afghan girl, I myself am from Turkish/Zazaki(iranian/kurdish) origin. We have a normal relationship for one year now, I am really certain this girl is the perfect one for me and we havent done anything but hold hands and talk and walk. I want to ask for her hand like it is normal in both our cultures, first we ask the girl hand and then we get engaged an evenually marry after a few years. Her father is very strict and saw us at the bus station one time and he wants her to marry her cousin, this is what old school people that are stuck in the time do, they dont let her have any saying in this. Her mother and grandmother and sister have fought for her decision to stick with me and after 6 months it seemed to help. Her father seemed to realise that if he keeps going on like this he wil tear his family apart. He finally accepted his daughters choice and we both were so happy, after university so after 2 years we could get engaged. But now her father changed his mind again and want her to engage her cousin, she threatened to run away from home and now her father is afraid so they dont talk to each other for now. How should I approach this situation, we still see each other every day at school and we are truly in love, we want to do this the proper way through our culture and religion ( both muslim ) but her father stands in the way of her and her sisters and mothers happiness. he simply thinks his pride and honor outweigh everything else in this world and wants everything his way. Everyone of her family supports us and even her father truly knows I am really serious with his daughter. I really appreciate your help in advance, thanks everyone!

Why a dam in Afghanistan might set back peace The water that grows western Afghanistan’s fresh produce, sprinkles its town parks with shade-giving trees, and slakes the thirst of war-weary Afghans, is becoming a point of tension with nearby Iran as a large dam under construction will constrict cross-border flow. After nearly four decades of work, the Salma Dam – a $200 million project paid for and built by India, yet delayed by Afghanistan’s turbulent history of occupations, civil war, and insurgency – is slated to be finished by the end of 2014. Afghan officials say they have no plans to negotiate water rights with Iran, although analysts and Western sources warn that lack of agreement could worsen Afghanistan’s already [Edited Out]ly ties with its Iranian neighbor. “We have many projects in Afghanistan, and every project has its enemy. But unfortunately Salma Dam has three enemies,” says Fazl Ahmad Zakeri, the Ministry of Energy and Water’s acting director for the Harirud and Murghab River Basin, in Herat. “It’s not possible [to stop work]. We will complete this dam.” One of those enemies, says Mr. Zakeri, is Pakistan. Islamabad is “trying to stop the work” because it is being built by strategic rival India. In April, Afghan intelligence officials announced they had thwarted a Taliban plot to blow up the dam with about 2,860 pounds of explosives. The plan, they claimed, was aided by Pakistan’s intelligence agency. The other two “enemies” of the Salma Dam are Turkmenistan and Iran because it will diminish water flow to their own parched regions and dam projects. Afghan officials have often charged Iran with being behind dam-related attacks. When an Afghan district governor who had supported the project was killed in 2010, Afghan police officials suspected Iran’s involvement. The head of the police unit guarding the dam claimed to have evidence that Iran funded a local Taliban commander and his 200 men who had “promised Iran that he will succeed in halting work on the Salma Dam,” according to a report by the Institute for War and Peace Reporting. Likewise, two months ago, six of the dam’s security guards were killed by a roadside bomb. Without naming Iran, the provincial security chief said that the killings had “a political motivation. This is the work of those countries who don’t want Afghanistan to develop.” But in Herat, water official Zakeri says that “we don’t have any data to give us information that Iran is creating some problem.” Iranian officials say they support Afghan development, and deny conducting any destabilizing actions in Afghanistan, despite credible reports of past, limited assistance to anti-US insurgents, including the Taliban. “Yes, the Iranians are asking for negotiations. Always they are asking for negotiations [because they will get] much less water,” notes Zakeri. But negotiation may be easier said than done, with so much at stake for both sides. WHAT AFGHANISTAN WANTS For Afghanistan, key facts are clear: The Salma Dam will increase cultivatable land from 35,000 hectares to 80,000 hectares. It will also produce 42 MW of electricity, lowering the region’s dependence on Iran (which now provides 80 MW, cheaply) and Turkmenistan (which provides 50 MW). “It will change much, because this project is not just for Herat,” says Zakeri. “If we can produce more fruit, we can send this to Kandahar, to other provinces. This project might change the situation in all of Afghanistan.” For Iran, too, key facts are clear: The dam will cut the flow of its own Harirud River water by 73 percent, even though the number of Iranians dependent on that water – including the shrine city of Mashhad – is almost three times as large as the number of Afghans. “Iran has always criticized Afghanistan for its water policies on Helmand and Harirud Rivers,” says an Iranian analyst in Tehran who has worked on the issue of Helmand, a larger river flowing into Iran farther south, and asked not to be named. “Iran and Pakistan are both accused of sabotage [and] Mashhad depends on the water of the Harirud. So Iran has a big concern that dams in Afghanistan [will] reduce the water as [they have] on Helmand.” THE 'ONLY WAY FORWARD' A 2010 report on Afghanistan’s water resources warned that “cross-border cooperation on water is not an option; it is the only way forward” with all neighbors. Lack of bilateral or regional agreements created “a serious threat to sustainable development and security in the region,” stated the EastWest Institute report. The report also noted that a model for cooperation already exists, for the Helmand River. Afghanistan and Iran first created a joint commission in 1950, and in 1973 agreed that Iran would receive a precise volume. For now, however, Kabul doesn’t “see any reason” to hold water negotiations with Iran over the Selma Dam, says Shujaudin Ziaye, the deputy minister of Energy and Water in Kabul. “We have no new negotiations in the past two years. The idea of building this dam emerged 40 years back. At that time, Iran had no request of water,” says Mr. Ziaye. “Maybe they need to talk with us, but we don’t see any need to talk with Iran, to negotiate about water. Right now, no.” HIGH PRIORITY For many Afghans, water resources are a high priority. When President Hamid Karzai met an audience of ordinary Afghans in March for a televised program, there were nearly as many questions about water as about security. “How much can the Afghan government defend its water resources?” asked one man, after listing the country’s water systems. Another asked why the government did not build more dams so Afghans “will have access to electricity and the dry deserts will be irrigated.” Mr. Karzai replied: “We know that some of our neighboring countries do not want our dams to be built and do not want us to have our own electricity.” He also said that “we have used our waters less throughout history and the neighbors have used them more. We know this, but we want to manage it in good relations with [them].” But a history of mutual suspicions abounds. Iran has offered some technical expertise to Afghanistan, on water and agricultural issues. Iran’s Minister of Energy Majid Namjou visited in January to cut the ribbon on two Iranian-made electric turbines given to Herat for emergency use. “Iran, it seems, has adopted competing policies on Afghanistan – one of cooperation in certain cases and one that contributes to destabilizing in others,” stated the EastWest Institute report. “Iran perceives agricultural development – a crucial element in the Obama strategy to increase economic activity in Afghanistan – and dam rehabilitation and reconstruction as major security threats.” In Herat, that is also how some Afghan officials see it. “If we have sustainable agriculture, and sustainable industries in Herat and our western zone of Afghanistan; if we have security – especially in Herat – then our Salma Dam will be built, and [iran] will face many challenges, in their agriculture and industry,” says Herat Chief of Police Rahmatullah Safai.