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Found 12 results

  1. Salam Let me first start by saying that I am not against marriage In fact I highly encourage it however I just personally dont want to do it, which I will explain later. I don't want to get married but I also want to avoid zina but I know that I cannot have both choices. If I avoid marriage that means sooner or later I will commit zina either with myself or another individual (most likely the former). Its basically me saying "I dont want to eat anymore" because no matter how much I try sexual desires are a part of a humans need which needs to be satisfied somehow (Just like hunger). If I do get married then that means I get to avoid zina, but the problem is I enjoy being by myself and if I have a spouse that means I cant be alone. I also cant/dont get attached to people for various reasons. But if I just have a wife for the sake of getting laid thats just... wrong in my view, I cant just force myself or pretend to love them when I dont. These are not all the reasons but the most important ones in my opinion. Other things worth mentioning: I am 18, male. Haven't been able to ask for help from our scholars because they are uneducated/scarce where I live. Dont want to do mutah for same reasons stated above. Unironically considering to castrate myself at this point
  2. Ok. Basically, I met two girls recently, I have known them for a while (2 months).I met them at the gym, they were also from the highschool were I used to study (I didnt know them then) .At first they seemed as they just had the intentions of being friends of mine but suddenly all of that changed. They have many times invited me to their house. But most of the time I dont go. But because we are going to the same college and persuing the same careers, I might be obligated to go and meet up with them for help.They are like best friends, they act like sisters. What scares is that what if I do something unlawful? What should I do?! Is masturbation recommended in such cases? Should I just stop talking to them and avoid them? What if they some how take revenge on me? What if they obligate me of doing something unlawful with them? Should I change colleges? Should I just look up to marriage? Am I exaggerating everything :/?
  3. Salam, I think that being put in a Haram situation and then having enough faith to avoid it truly shows how much faith you have to follow the ways that Allah swt has intended us to follow. 2 days ago I was put in a situation, I went to visit a client whom I have known for about 8 years now who is married. After we completed all the application forms needed for her business loans I asked her for the deposit needed for the bank. So she asked me to wait 5min while she writes me a cheque and come back, so I waited and 5 min later she comes back wearing very revealing under clothes and asked me to join her for drinks on her veranda. (You know what her intentions are) So I just got up and left without taking the cheque as she called out for me to take it. Later that day, she messaged me to say sorry and she does not know what came over her and that she wanted me to come past again to take the cheque for her transaction. So I told her to express post it to me. However I still need to meet her in person when I approve her business loan to get her signature on the contracts and to be honest I just do not feel comfortable going to her house. She never agrees to meet me elsewhere, i was thinking maybe I would agree with the condition that her husband being present? Has anyone else been put in a similar position that has tested there faith ?
  4. it's hurting my relationship with my mom, and my schoolwork.......i obsessed over a childhood friend of mine (who moved away when I was in the 7th grade and she was in the 5th grade, and who i last saw when i was in the 9th grade and she was in the 7th grade, her name was Halime)....unfortunately, astaghfirullah, my sins are great....to keep her memory alive, i fantasize about her while pleasuring myself, and i am still trying to kick this habit......i often cuddle with my pillow, because i am more comfortable sleeping on my belly, while holding a pillow, and i can not help but pretend it is her.....today, i was at lunch at school, and i texted my mother asking her about my college application, and she texted back, and then i was asking her if i can court the girl while i am in my 3rd year of college, and she's in her first year of college......she simply wrote, "stop it" and i kept texting her asking for an answer, because she knew the girl's mother better and i did not know if the girl's parents would let her court in college.....i texted her and called her multiple times in a panic, and she didn't respond...i had asked, "would they allow it," and i apologized for texting her during her work and asked her not to tell my father, she said she didn't tell my father, and then she simply wrote, "no they would allow it," i was confused by the grammar, and kept asking her to clarfiy, but she didn't respond, and eventually, she said, "no, they would not allow," after I told her i was having a panic attack, and that i might have a meltdown (I have autism).......but only after a long time of waiting........i went a long time without doing much work in school because i was caught up.....but i as worried because there was one assignment i had to do, but the teacher wasn't there so i was unsure if i COULD do it or not, so i was afraid of getting a bad grade, also, the students were very rowdy....but finally, when i went to a busy class, i asked the teacher for permission to see a counselor, and she said yes, but the special education counselors were not available, and the regular counselor was not available for the past few hours and for another long period of time, so i went to the clinic because i was having thoughts of self harm ( i had even begun to slap myself on the chest out of frustration), but she said "it is outside my area" i told her i had already hit myself, and she got mad and said it is still outside her area, and when i tried explaining i was saying it just because......she wouldn't let me talk.......i finally got to talk to an assistant principle and a coach i trust, and calmed down, and went to class....later, my mom was coming home from work, and she said i could court her, and we went out to eat at a restaurant, and go to my sister's house to feed her cats while her and her husband were away.......but on the road home, she eventually said, her parents would likely not let me court her in college, and i would have to wait until graduation, and i tried convincing her otherwise, but she wouldn't stop, so i tried asking her how to cope with this realization, and i was looking for emotional support, not logic, but she just kept yelling that there's nothing i can do.....i kept trying to get her to understand, but she wouldn't, and kept interrupting me, and when we got home she was smothered by me, and was seething mad at me.......i ask myself, "is it really worth it?" "the end result is going to be the same, but yet you have the compulsion, the seething urge to predict your future when only Allah knows the Unseen......including the future....and knowing won't make a difference....why can't you just live in the present and focus on your studies?????" i even asked a girl with a boyfriend for her phone number at school today, and got it..... i am sorry if i have bothered you.....
  5. Often, when I go to a Muslim's house as a guest, the men and women have to sit in different sections, for modesty...however, I could not find anything over the internet suggesting that this is required or even implied in the Qur'an or Sunnah......is complete gender segregation, like in Iran and Saudi Arabia, required in Islam? or is this an innovation?
  6. Salam Alaykum. Im talking to a woman about getting married. We want to get engaged in october/november and do the nikkah to able to be with eachother before the wedding/party. We have a hard time holding the desires back, so we want to get married. But it has to wait because she just got out of a relationship (We cant make it official because of the guy she had been with before. He can be aggressive) We've been together before and have now found eachother again. Here is my story from before: So my question here is, can we get married without her fathers consent? She is not a virgin (zina) and because we have a hard time waiting we wanna just get married to stop committing sins.
  7. I am in the 11th grade, and a brother, and I have a friend at school who is a girl, who is in the 12th grade, and is Muslim, but is not very religious. For instance, she doesn't pray 5 times a day or 3 times a day, and she doesn't fast during Ramadan.....I am wondering if that is haram, because it says in the Qur'an (I forget which verse) "...do not approach zina.." rather than "do not committ zina" and many Muslim preachers and Muslims I know think this is haram....is there really harm in just being friends, or is this not modest?
  8. If 2 people decide to recite the Nikah and the girl recites it but the guy forgets to say "I accept" but their intentions were to do Nikah. Is this Nikah valid? And if they do the "act" afterwards, would it be Zina?
  9. I had always had a strong connection and chemistry with someone i had known and grown up with all my life, we had a relaltionship when we were younger at around 13-14 we were both young and stupid and got caught by my mother, then last year it all started again, we love each other so much and we both still do, things started to get serious really quickly, he said he wants to get married and i agreed, anyways things got serious really quickly and he convinced me that we would be together no matter what even though we both knew we would have massive problems with our parents accepting us, but i still believed and trusted him, unfortunately i allowed for the worst to happen, we both committed zina and fornication without nikkah, this now means i am no longer a pure girl. months went by and things were going great except for his parents who were strongly against me simply because they did not like me and they wanted a bride from their home land. two weeks before my birthday he stopped talking to me, i was really confused and i didn't know why, he broke up with me because of his parents and he said that he is going to get married to the person they desire only because he does not want to disrespect his parents for Allah's sake, but what about me ? he has basically ruined my life if he marries another, how am i supposed to get married to someone else like this? what will my parents do when they find out from a future husband? does respecting his parents outweigh leaving me like this with no future? anyway, he is about to go and get nikkah with someone very shortly, my mother found out about our recent relationship and she asked if we had commited zina or fornication but i was too afraid to tell her the truth, she said that it will ruin your honour, our families honour, and your future, i really wanted to tell her that we did fornicate and commit zina but i was so scared, what do i do ? do i tell her? do i leave it? please please help me as he is going to get married soon and i dont want to be too late to take action
  10. Salmaalekum, I would like to know why can't a fatwa be passed specially for youths living in the west. So it can help ease and alleviate the suffering, and guilt that is attached to masturbating? Millions of young man and woman who can't get married at a young age for various reasons specially "education", are indulge in this act not by choice, but it is inescapable for young healthy adult to shut off his/her desire completely until marriage. Or control it by fasting etc. for a long period of time! My story I have tried every tactics there are in the book in order to stop masturbation. And when i say i "tried" let me tell you, i have been through hell! So, it has been now 2 years since i have been fighting this battle, first let me tell you how i was before, when i did not touch upon this topic. "Peace of mind, high confidence, stress free, positive feelings, loved life, studying, going to college, going out, meeting people, going to mosque, etc. Were some of the things i used to do, before i tried stopping masturbation. And now let me tell you what has happened to me while i tried to stop masturbating after i contacted marja/ ayatollah; SEVERELY DEPRESSED FOR TWO YEARS, ANXIETY, STRESS, CONSTANT FEELING OF GUILT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T LIKE TO PRAY, STOP GOING OUT AND SPEAKING TO ANYONE, NERVOUSNESS, QUIT COLLEGE etc. I know that it is my fault, that i went so deeper into this topic in order to stop masturbation . But it was only to please Allah and remove that burden off my chest, but i still failed. Plus getting the advice from marja did not help my suffering, as it just kept pushing me deeper in to the hole i was already in. Lastly, i would like to know what you guys opinion on this subject, i know that i am not the only one who has been consumed by this matter. And i did many researched and found out many such stories like mine. Where the youth had gone far as trying to end his life, from the suffering. At the moment i have just accepted my self, which has given me confidence, and peace of mind! Ali
  11. (bismillah) (salam) The propaganda of lying began from the time of the prophet Muhammad (sawa) against the shia, one of the lies that is used till today is that the Shia believe that Aisha the wife of the prophet Muhammad (sawa) commited zina or adultery. Now it's finally time to see from the shia books whether this is true or not ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-wTi7umWCI
  12. Salaamun Alaykum, Today, if we look at our society we would easily see that mischief is at its peak, specially Illegitimate relationship between men and women. An unbias surveyy can tell us that majority between 15 years - 23 years are into this and it looks like nobody cares about this disease and thanks to cellphone and internet it has become more easier to fall in this trap. I don't understand why shias consider Mutah taboo, because this is the only solution for it. Parents need to understand that Mutah is 1000 times better and even mustahab than illegitimate relationship of their children. There are even practical ways if implementing it which can minimise the damage done by Zina. Whenever some non shia speaks against Mutah people start defending it and give 100% for it, but when it comes about implementation, they themselvf call it taboo... #Shame
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