In the Name of God بسم الله
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What should I do?
Guest posted a topic in General Islamic DiscussionHi everyone! I need your advice. I`ve been thinhing about divorce. It will be my first divorce and I don`t know which method of divorce will be more convenient and cheap. I have heard a lot about online services and colleagues said about one of this named DivorceFiller . Or I shoud divorce through standart procedure of divorce ? Give me advice , please!
Finding potential spouse in area with no Shia?
alihaydar110 posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalaam brothers and sisters, Alhamdulilah I will be in a position in the near future to start seriously looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, I live in a smaller midwest US city with no Shia presence. My family is not Shia, so any sisters they know would (mostly) be Sunni, which is something I would like to avoid. That being said, is there anyone who was in a similar situation that found a spouse? Also anyone have any suggestions on where to start looking? I am 100% American, so the whole arranged marriage culture completely avoids me, and prefer to be with someone I can culturally relate to.
Marriage, friendship, workplace
notme posted a topic in Social/Family/Personal(Quote from The Orbital Perspective, by Ron Garan.) It's common sense, but sometimes common sense benefits from elucidation. In any relationship, friendship, marriage, business partnership, whatever, success requires understanding and commitment from both sides. Only through commitment and striving to understand can mutual trust develop. When there is mutual trust, hardship strengthens rather than weakens the bond.
How to ask out Muslim girls
Eric muhalla posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalAsalamu Aalaikum, I hope as many Muslim women help spread this thread. Now I'm not going to ask about how to gain self confidence or the courage to ask a girl out or all the things a desperate guy needs to have to be able to find his one true love of his life. I already have those traits. I'm talking about asking conservative Muslim girls on dates since I'm 18. Now I know that I should perhaps wait until I'm 25 and get married. But that's seven years away. Do I really need to wait that much just to get a simple Muslim girlfriend were we can go on dates and just talk? I want to have some minor relationship before I get married. Perhaps I'm doing this because of peer pressure or since I want to show my friends that I can get a girl. I have seen many videos and tutorials from before of guys just asking out random girls on the street and getting their number with enough confidence and I got inspired by that. But those videos involve western countries with western women and men. How about when I ask Muslim girls out? I feel that I just want to have at least one relationship before I get married. So for all Muslim girls here, please give me some advice on to ask you out.
Farooq Ali posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalI fell in love with a women who is a very devout Christain and tries to keep to the Bible as best as possible. but the problems is she hates Islam and believes we are worshipping false. I tried to respect you hat as her personal view based off the media. That is until she told me point blank; Islam is sh*t and Allah(swt) is nothing. We broke up but I still have much love for her and she wants me to stay in an apartment next door o hers when I get out the halfway house. How should I handle this situation?
Hijab, Anxiety And Relationships
Confusedgirl posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalam, I'm a bit of a mess. I started wearing the hijab 5 years ago. It was natural for me to do it. I just did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. A year later, a started suffering from bad anxiety and panic attacks... even leaving my house would be a problem. I skipped a lot of classes and wouldn't go out with friends. I became more shy and quiet. I lost myself. I lost my bubbly personality. I always have my family and friends driving me everywhere because i get horrible anxiety when I take the bus/subway. Anyway, so last year I met this guy. He wanted to get to know me (the halal why) he met why family and all that. We had a great relationship. He actually helped me without knowing it, he would make my anxiety disapear. We would go out to places and I wouln't have panic attacks at all. He didn't even know I had anxiety issues. And as the date of the khotbe approched... he called me and said it was over... It was the biggest slap... we never fought, never had problems, everything was going fine. Now that he left I feel like I have to reconstruct myself and get better but the hijab has been an obstacle in many ways. I can't find a job and I just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I need to find myself. What should I do? Thank you
Islam And Relationships
Poof posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalHello, I am new to the forum, and it is very informative, I noticed you had this sub forum and I wanted to ask a few questions. I would ask my parents, but they are difficult to communicate with about certain topics, and I have no one to really ask. Anyway lets get to the point: In Islam I do not understand this concept of marriage... I was born and raised in the United States so I grew around girls and guys mixing and talking etc. The problem is not talking to girls, but I have gotten to a point where girls who are not too religious and do not wear the head scraf are so much easier to speak to about anything. Am I planning to get married, of coarse not any time soon, I am not ready maturity wise and religion wise. I grew up in a religious house hold but religion never really caught on until recently, and as I am becoming more and more religious I am having a difficult time talking to girls as I come off as flirty and I know this is haram. So when I am talking to girls, I am so used to flirting and joking that I get carried away, and I have to stop myself. But when I hear people tell me one day I need to get married so I do not commit any sin, I agree, but how is it possible to marry someone you don't know and haven't talked to. I don't know maybe I am just being ignorant of my own faults... Thanks.
ADELAZAR posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalAs-salam alaikum dear brothers and sisters... This is my first post on this site, so please forgive me of any errors and or ignorance I show of lingo used here or what have you. What is written below here, is not of any real philosophical nature, but more, words from my heart; a heart right now that is very heavy. I realize, given the status of the world right now, from environment to, what I sense as, the general apathy towards everything by humanity, their rudeness, unkindness, and other failings, what I am feeling right now does not qualify as any real problem, it is not truly important in the grand scheme, nor do I wish, through ego, to make it so. I write this because I feel alone, and I desperately need to find some solace. Always, I turn to Allah and the Divine in these times, and then to loved ones, but I need foster stronger ties to the Shia community, my community, and that is why I joined this site today. I lost a friend. And then several. They didn't die, al hamdulillah. They left my side, because I was discovered to be a Shia Muslim woman and not a follower of Sunni thought. Based on the nation where I have ties to, automatically, yet ignorantly, people assume I must be Sunni. I am not. I never was. And I never will be. I posted a video, the adhan from Karbala, Iraq, complete with the verse for Imam Ali, and the words that Prophet Muhammad, SAW, spoke for Ali that start, "...I am the City of Knowledge and Ali is the Gate...". As you know it is Ramadan, blessed Ramadan, and I posted this video to my Facebook page to truly post something that I found beauty in, something I loved, was moved by, etc. All month I have been posting inspirational and truly wondrous pictures of masjids, people, spiritual music, verses from the Qur'an, adhans from here and there, and even more so, the desperate need for true and strong Shia-Sunni unity; the return of the Ummah. All month long I had been getting positive feedback, from all sorts of people, mostly Sunni though, because most of the Muslims in my area are Sunni, but regardless, perhaps I was hoping that we had reached a point in time where people were more willing to embrace peace, more aware of the need for love in the world and the dismissal of the sinful plague of division. But this night, this past Saturday night, I posted this adhan just before Fajr and fell back asleep, no I am not trying to cheat through the days of Ramadan, I truly didn't feel well, so I rested again. I awoke at 11am-ish and to over 20 notifications on my phone. Many of the Shia friends I have had liked and commented positively on the video. But there was one guy, who ironically, is Iraqi by descent and went on a full blown tirade about the "evil and unauthentic nature" of this adhan and how wayward Shia thought is in general. He even went as far as to say, alarmingly stupidly though, "I would rather be part of the majority than the minority. Would you rather get a 95% (Sunni) on a test, or a 5% (Shia) on a test???" -- Spend no time refuting the percentages, I know they are wrong. You know they are wrong. He is a fool, a buffoon, an idiot. So what bothers me about such a silly, stupid man? Well...his mother is dying. Dying. And I have been one of the only people holding his hand, comforting him, encouraging him, seriously making dua after dua for him and his family and for her sake, Allah yer7ama, and I am absolutely stunned that in this moment, well for just this post, my posting of this adhan, could have brought out such disgust and resentment in him to FORGET all that I was doing for him, all the conversations, the tender moments (non-sexual please, this was a platonic friendship), the laughs, the tears...and just completely erupt, in a clearly brainwashed manner, bashing and railing against me, my friends, the Shia of today, he even went as far as to insult Imam Hussain and Imam Ali...I was just stunned. And hurt. I had missed much of the conversation due to my sleeping, so when I woke to these things and finally posted something very short and simple, compared to the long responses of Shia friends and his ramblings, I wrote..."I love it (sarcasm). Sunni Muslims fight against the Yazids of today, but then they rail against and hate on the Shia people...thus embracing Yazid. (His name), for the record, majority does not guarantee right or just." I then realized that he had un-friended me. Again, this is not about the details of the matter, and let me remind you that I know this is not an earth-shattering event, but it did get me thinking, and it very truly is about principle. A friend, a fellow Palestinian (but male) wrote, I am Palestinian and 100% Shia and then he wrote about his dismay over what this Iraqi had written, especially during Ramadan...he then said, "I guess this is where taqqiyah comes from". No. I refuse. For the sake of Imam Hussain, and Ahlul Bayt, I refuse to hid who I am. I know that from where I sit, this is easy. I live in no real danger, unlike my brothers and sisters in Bahrain for example, but no. I will not hide. I will not deny. I will not be scared or live a double life. I refuse taqqiyah. I refuse to let our people walk like ghosts, sliding through the Muslim, mostly Arab Sunni, world like jinn, never really showing our true selves, hiding our tears during Ashura and renouncing Muhammad's (SAW) family. I refuse. I have suffered many hardships in my life, when I was a child, and from where I sit now, I refuse to cower again. I wish I could, and I want to urge, scream to the heavens, all of my fellow Shia people to never accept living in shadow! We do not deserve this! And moreover, the very name and memory of Imam Hussain does not deserve this! I wrote on the bottom of the post, for all to see, "I will not hide. Live honorably and honestly or die in vain. Never will I hide my true Muslim path!" ...I suspect more people have pulled away from me. And this is why my heart is heavy. In the face of complete isolation, I will not break, and I dearly hope you do not either. I will not hide. I will not accept taqqiyah. I am who I am. And our path is the glorious path that it is. My brothers and sisters, it is time for us to throw off the cloak of secrecy. These people are meant to be our own (the Sunni) but they refuse our truth. This is injustice. And it must be challenged! These thoughts and feelings are my own. Much respect and due love to all the Shia in the world suffering at the hands of corrupt governments, oppressive lovers, friends and or families. May Allah shine His light upon you and may we all be free!!!!
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