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  1. Salam everyone, There are little gems spread all over Nahjul Balagha for improving our emotional intelligence and achieving success in life. Here is one from the short sayings at the end: Success is the result of foresight and resolution, foresight depends upon deep thinking and planning and the most important factor of planning is to keep your secrets to yourself- Imam Ali(as). Professor Peter Gollwitzer is a professor of psychology at NYU. His research covers areas like social psychology, neuropsychology and cognition and is mainly focused on how goals and plans affect cognition and behavior. Gollwitzer and his colleagues conducted a study that was published in 2009. They suggested that when people announce an intention to commit to a goal in public, that announcement may actually backfire. Gollwitzer and his colleagues provided evidence for this point. In one study, they had students interested in becoming Psychologists list two activities that they would perform in the next week to help them achieve that goal. Half of the people handed what they wrote to the experimenter who read it over and acknowledged reading what they had written. The other half were told that the exercise of writing down their intentions was given to them in error, and that nobody would be looking at it. The following week, all of the participants were contacted again and were asked to remember the goals they had written down the previous week and then to write down how much time they had spent on those activities. The people whose goals were read by the experimenter actually spent less time pursuing those activities than the people whose goals were not read. A number of follow-up studies were presented as well that ruled out other explanations for this finding. These research results suggest that wanting to have a particular identity is an important motivator in carrying out the activities one needs to perform to succeed. When those activities are the only marker that you and others have that you have taken on a particular identity, then your motivation to work hard will be strong. When there are other ways to communicate your identity to others, your motivation to work hard will not be as strong. So when you are just starting out on the road toward a big undertaking, it is probably best to let your actions express your intentions louder than your words.(https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ulterior-motives/200905/if-you-want-succeed-don-t-tell-anyone) The belief that we are more successful with our goals if we announce them and create accountability has also been proved wrong by research. Research says that telling people what you want to achieve creates a premature sense of completeness and is actually counterproductive. https://www.psych.nyu.edu/gollwitzer/09_Gollwitzer_Sheeran_Seifert_Michalski_When_Intentions_.pdf
  2. For many years, I have been confused by the treatment of married women by society and their husbands. Before marriage, girls are literally treated like princesses, and as soon as they get married, they lose their value in the eyes of society, to me it looks like they are treated like slaves. Most of the men seem to hate their wives, it's one thing to not love your wife, but most of men hate their wives, and I couldn't understand why. Then I read about Madonna-[Edited Out] complex and a light bulb went off in my head. From Wikipedia: "Freud argued that the Madonna–[Edited Out] complex was caused by a split between the affectionate and the sexual currents in male desire.[5] Oedipal and castration anxiety fears prohibit the affection felt for past incestuous objects from being attached to women who are sensually desired: "The whole sphere of love in such persons remains divided in the two directions personified in art as sacred and profane (or animal) love".[5] In order to minimize anxiety, the man categorizes women into two groups: women he can admire and women he finds sexually attractive. Whereas the man loves women in the former category, he despises and devalues the latter group". "In A Handmaids Tale women are strictly categorized and forced to wear a uniform of a specified colour. Red is the [Edited Out] and blue is the Madonna. The handmaids are disrespected and violated continually and made to wear red which is associated with sex and fertility, June is objectified and abused by Fred. In contrast the wives wear blue which is reminiscent of the virgin Mary". Wives wearing blue get a lot of respect and power. I think there's a lot of shame and disgust attached with marriage. Married women are considered [Edited Out]s because people assume since they are married, they are doing "the act". People who chose to remain single get a lot of respect and prestige. This is most apparent in behavior of men. I have noticed whenever they are asked about love, they always mention that I love my mother, or I love my daughter. Very few men express any love for their wives. Since men use their wives for their physical needs, they are only able to give them animal love, which involves degrading or abusing but they are not able to give sacred love to their wives. This is why most married men have affairs, they have to give their sacred love to someone, and that someone needs to be a woman who is a mystery, a stranger. I have often heard stories in both eastern and western culture that a man spends months and years chasing a woman until she agrees to sleep with him. As soon as that happens, man looses interest and respect for that woman. If one time can have such an effect, imagine how can they respect and value a woman after many times. People suggest that men should give flowers, take their wives to dinner, and all those things we see in movies, but I don't think they are of any use. You can easily tell if a person hates you or loves you. So men can try as much as they want, the resentment and disgust they feel for their wives is apparent. If their wives can get affection from other men, they can be happy, otherwise they are miserable.
  3. In a previous thread I discussed the fact that women are more empathetic than men, and that this difference is innate, and not due to socialisation, patriarchy etc. My goal here is to see to what extent traditional gender roles are justified by innate differences between the sexes. Feminists want to abolish traditional gender roles, and view them as inherently oppressive, and one way they try and do this is by denying real differences between the sexes. Traditional gender roles have men as the providers, and women as the carers and nurturers. Note that you can champion traditional gender roles whilst also being fully supportive of women getting an education and working. The summary below is based on these 2 articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-personalities/201603/are-men-more-helpful-altruistic-or-chivalrous-women https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-personalities/201504/are-women-more-emotional-men -Women experience more negative emotions that men, e.g. guilt, shame, embarrassment -The personality trait most closely associated with negative emotions is neuroticism, Women tend to score higher in neuroticism than men. Its interesting that neuroticism is associated with taking less risks. Both of the above have been found across multiple cultures, and in fact the differences between sexes are more pronounced in egalitarian cultures. This shows that they are not due to social factors forces as patriarchy, but are due to innate differences between men and women: -The same goes for personal values such as benevolence (being giving, wanting to help others, provide welfare) and universalism: - And also for agreeableness, and other help-related traits across cultures. -And they score lower on anti-social personality traits such as narcissism and psychopathy. Again these differences are greater in egalitarian societies, so cannot be explained away by socialisation and patriarchy: In conclusion, in addition to women being more empathetic than men, they are: -more risk averse -more benevolent -more agreeable -less likely to be anti-social e.g. less likely to be narcissitic and psychopathic. And these differences are innate, not cultural. It's not hard to see why this would make them better carers and nurturers than men.
  4. Traditionally, differences in gender roles between men and women have been justified by actual innate difference between men and women. For example, in justifying the gender roles of carer for women, and provider for men, people may say that women are psychologically and emotionally better suited to stay at home and look after the children, whereas men are better suited to go out and work. In their attempt to undermine traditional gender roles, feminists have downplayed the actual difference between men and women, and claimed that either they don't exist, or where they do exist they are due to social/cultural factors, not innate biological factors, and therefore have no normative value. I would like to look into the evidence from psychology for differences in men and women, and to what extent these differences are innate/biological versus cultural / due to socialisation. I started with empathy, and read this 2014 review: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25236781 They present evidence that empathy is biological in origin, and therefore women are naturally more empathetic then men. I have briefly noted some of the key evidence below. Its worth noting that empathy is a complex phenomenon, and has a pre-reflective element that can easily be studied in animals and babies, involving 'mirroring' which is when an individual copies/reflects they body language of another in their own behaviour. For example, writhing when seeing another in pain or automatically smiling when being smiled at. For details on the exact studies have a look at the review. Some key points: In animals with prolonged maternal care periods (where the female looks after the children for a prolonged period of time), females are more empathetic, e.g. in mirroring others, and they are also more quick to help other animals in need. This is explained by the fact that mums need to be responsive to baby's needs - having more empathy allows them to do that, and fulfill their roles as carers better. Women are overall more altruistic than men, and better at judging facial expressions, body language and emotion, all of which aid empathy. Female neonates more likely to cry, and cry longer than males when they hear an infant crying. This is a form of 'emotional contagion' and is likely a precursor to empathy. This cannot be explained by socialisation. Female neonates also show greater mimicry (copying behaviours). Giving males pacifiers which interfere with facial mimicry (ability to copy facial expressions) seems to have an impact on later emotional intelligence. Female toddlers show greater empathy than males. As do female adolescents compared to males Testosterone decreases empathy – one study involved giving it to females, and showed their ability to 'mind read' was reduced. 'Mind reading' is an important ingredient of empathy. Men have more testosterone than women. Oxytocin increases empathy, and women have more of it than men
  5. Why is belief in God so widespread? The Islamic answer is that it's because mankind has a God-given fitra, or innate tendency to believe in God. This wasn't the answer atheists typically gave. For Marx, religion was something propagated by the oppressive ruling class, to control the masses, 'the opium of the people'. The 19th century anthropologist Tyler explained religion as a primitive attempt to explain life and death. For Freud, religion was a means to control the Oedipal complex, wish fulfillment, and means to control the outside world. For sociologist Rodney Stark, religious beliefs act as 'compensators' for failures to attain certain goals. Add to this list all other possible secular sociological explanations and anthropological explanations. Any one of these theories could have been proven to be the true and complete explanation, and refuted the Islamic explanation of fitra. And yet, according to the findings of contemporary Science, in the words of atheist Professor of Psychology Alison Gopnik: Islam is right: we do have an innate tendency or fitra to believe in God. It's not because of class struggle, or compensation, or brain-washing. Does this prove that God gave us this innate tendency? No, I'm not claiming that. For psychologists who aren't keen on religion, it's a mistaken innate tendency to attribute teleology and intentionality to everything - of course they aren't going to say that it's God-given. What I am claiming is that Science has confirmed a claim of religion, specifically Islam and some versions of Christianity, that we have an innate tendency to believe in God. Science has proven the existence of the fitra, in a very basic sense. This is just one of many other instances in which Science has confirmed the religious worldview in some way or another, e.g. Big Bang cosmology showing the Universe had a beginning, fine tuning in its various forms pointing to design, falsity of determinism undermining classical materialism, psi research and NDEs showing that we aren't our brains etc. The list isn't exhaustive.
  6. Salam alaykum i pray you are all well. I would like to know if there are any members on here with experience in clinical psychology or mental health. I am currently finishing up a ba in psychology and I'm not sure whether I should go for clinical psychology or mental health for my masters. I am also very passionate about something related to a health career - like nursing. So I was wondering if I should do my masters in either of these and then go for a health one? I don't have all of the classes required for that but I have about half so I would need to take those first as well. What do you guys think?Thank you so much in advance for your advice!
  7. Assalam o Alaikum Ya Ali as Madad Dear Brothers and Sisters Recently I have got interest in reading books and I also want to improve my English as well so suggest me some books of english literature : I am not interested in now a days modern concept of liberalism...I am more interested in fictional stories , drama ,inspiration and motivational books, Success and failure etc etc 2) I don't know why but I have also got interest to understand human to know human psycho So I need some books on psychology as well P.s: I don't know what is the Islamic view on study human psycho i.e psychology If there is any Islamic Book comprises of Hadith and Sayings of Prophet (SAWW) and 12 Imam (as) then do suggest please
  8. Al Salamu Alaikum, I'm 16 years old, I'm a foreigner, my problem is stupid, others have it worse - but I am struggling and I don't have anyone that can help me. A few years back, when I was around 12/13 years old, I found myself barely eating anything and when I did I'd vomit it. I always felt like a stranger, and I'd look at the people around me and see that they were capable of enjoying food, cable of not counting calories, of not breaking down at the sight of their reflection, of not starving to feel happy, of not crying all day, and of socialising. So, in an effort to be 'normal' and to show my gratitude to Allah for providing me with enough food, I started eating. But the guilt that came with eating ripped me apart, and then I took it to extremes: I started binge eating. Somehow somewhere among the lines, I learned to accept my body and I tried to stop binge eating by going to the gym and eating healthily. I made progress. I learned to write, draw, photograph, and exercise to express my thoughts and feelings. However, starving, vomiting and self harming, as irrational as this sounds, comfort me more than anything - and I am stuck. I've read online that vomiting releases endorphins, chemicals which make you feel good. I've read about the damages vomiting causes to my body but I don't think that the damage I cause is great enough to kill me so I should be fine. Also, when I self harm I am careful not to cut too deep. I do realise that I do not have the right to damage my body, but the damage I cause is temporary and minimal as even the scars fade with time. I'm an only child. When I was younger I reached out for my parents so that they can help me, but then I told them I stopped doing the things mentioned above because they cannot deal with it; it breaks them. I'm on my own. At the moment, I can do most of the things the 'normal' people do (enjoy my food..etc.) but I still feel fat. I believe in Allah, in his mercy, and I'm content with the life he has chosen for me. Question is, do I even have a problem? Is there an explanation to what I've been doing? Is it a choice? Is it a phase? Am I just another attention seeking teenager? Please advise me. Criticise me if you have to; I want to change.
  9. British Medical Journal (BMJ) Abstract: Objectives To assess the risk of on-screen death of important characters in children’s animated films versus dramatic films for adults. Design Kaplan-Meier survival analysis with Cox regression comparing time to first on-screen death. Setting Authors’ television screens, with and without popcorn. Participants Important characters in 45 top grossing children’s animated films and a comparison group of 90 top grossing dramatic films for adults. Main outcome measures Time to first on-screen death. Results Important characters in children’s animated films were at an increased risk of death compared with characters in dramatic films for adults (hazard ratio 2.52, 95% confidence interval 1.30 to 4.90). Risk of on-screen murder of important characters was higher in children’s animated films than in comparison films (2.78, 1.02 to 7.58). Conclusions Rather than being the innocuous form of entertainment they are assumed to be, children’s animated films are rife with on-screen death and murder. http://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g7184
  10. The central paradigm of contemporary psychology and neuroscience is that the mind = the brain. This is taken for granted, but why believe it? The main reason that is given is that changes in the brain seem to correlate with changes in the mind,e.g. put someone in an fMRI scanner and ask them to think about certain things, and parts of the brain 'light up' on the fMRI image. Damage to the brain can cause damage to the mind, e.g. multiple strokes can lead to vascular dementia involving memory loss and personality changes. All this shows an intimate correlation between the brain and the mind, so the mind must be nothing over and above the brain. The fallacy of this argument is that correlation entails identity: If two things occur together then they must be identical. This is wrong. If two things occur together, then they are linked, but not necessarily identical. For example, take a radio. Electrical activity in the circuit board correlates with the sound produced, and if you make changes to the circuit board you also change the sound, but we dont say that the sound is = the electrical activity or the circuit board. Nor is the sound completely explained by the electrical activity, as this would exclude the radio presenter from the explanation when he is the actual cause of the sound. Of course this doesnt prove that the mind is other than the brain, only that the main reason for thinking they are identical is flawed. Here are some other bad reasons for thinking they are identical: http://www.unc.edu/~ujanel/GIVING%20DUALISM.pdf The paper is written by an atheist philosopher.
  11. One of the reasons why people are not always able to translate their intentions into actions is that they haven't made a precise plan as to when, where and how they will implement their intention. For example, I may intend or be motivated to eat extra fruit and vegetables, but if i don't make a plan as to how to do so in advance, I will be less likely to carry out my intended behaviour. A strategy that can bridge the gap between motivation/intention (pre-doing) and behaviour (doing) is the Implementation Intention (II) in the form of 'If-then' plans. You link the 'If' (a situational cue) with the 'Then' (a response to that cue). An example of an If-then plan or an II would be: If: it is 8 am on Monday morning. (Situation) Then: I will start writing my essay (Action/response) To: be able to finish it before the deadline (Goal) It is not a goal intention where I may just say "I intend to eat extra fruit and vegetables". Of course there are some barriers to this strategy, such as forgetting or getting distracted. However, research suggests that implementation intentions increase a person's commitment to their decision as well as their likelihood of carrying out the intended action, and therefore fulfilling their goal. It works for reducing procrastination too! http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666310005325
  12. Salaam, i have always been fascinated by the human mind, and would love to pursue a degree in psychology. Unfortunately, since i reside in a 3rd world country, going to study abroad isn't an option due to the financial constraint. I have been searching for viable online options, but to my dismay most of the ones i have found are also quite expensive for foreign students. I was wondering if anyone here knows any online bachelor degree courses for psychology that are affordable.
  13. I work as a professional tutor, so if anyone is stuck on a question or two, you can post here. If you have something really long, I can offer help for a fee. I've sent detailed homework solutions to my students via kik before, and i can also help with online homework in Psychology, Algebra, Physics, English, and Chemistry.
  14. Salam. Is psychology mentioned in Islam ? I know the term came way way later, but is this form of science hinted ? I mean, has it been reference in Quran or hadiths about talking or listening to problems of others (what a psychiatrist does) ?
  15. Baji

    Derren Brown

    Brilliant and interesting man. Uses words and body language in an interesting way to control/change the minds of people. Its interesting to watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTwCMX5sUQU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-VEdzz3ixA
  16. (bismillah) (salam) respected brothers and sisters. I have been testing for some time the psychology of 'rock-paper-scissors'. I'm sure everyone's familiar with this game. I have tested it with family members to be exact, from young to old. The game is simple: You and the other party say that whoever loses will perform x. It gets interesting in the part of problems which we face and which we see as difficult: washing the dishes choosing which program to watch (American or something from home-country) choosing which game to play (Fifa or Halo) where to go on vacation (within the selected budget and likes of both persons, e.g. Spain or Italy) what to eat (when mum cooks and offers choices for example, or which restaurant to choose from) etc. The choices should be equal so that the person who has the most to lose at that time will still want to play the game. Also, you may want to start with small things and then build it up as to let the parties get used to this form of choice-making. The results: people are more willing to play when the games of chance are introduced people are risk-seeking (as everyone thinks they'll win) subjects liked the idea of equality, age does not matter (as proven numerous times by elderly uncles and aunts) subjects indeed performed their obligation after loss with a smile on their face Implications: It can solve differing problems between brothers/sisters but also between husband and wife or parents and children. The rules are simple, but the psychology of accepting a loss is sometimes difficult for some persons. Therefore, this simple psychological game (or any other similar game for that matter) should be played by fair persons who will accept whatever fate throws at them as the result will remain unknown until you throw your hand in the game. So, what do you guys think about deciding such matters in this manner? Do you think it will prove helpful in your family circle? What are its flaws? Are the better games around that could help solve family problems? Remember, the Prophet (pbuh) also chose a form of chance-game (drawing straws i think it was) when he had to choose which wife to bring along with him at some times. Anyway, thought I'd share this with you, it's a pretty good psychology game once you get used to it. Any feedback on this would be helpful.
  17. Dean Radin has made a useful webpage with links to papers on psi. He has included papers that haven't demonstrated significant results. http://www.deanradin...ce/evidence.htm If you are new to the subject, then this Google Tech Talk is a good introduction:
  18. Belief in God Can Improve Mental Health Outcomes A new study suggests belief in God may significantly improve the outcome of those receiving short-term treatment for psychiatric illness. Researchers followed patients receiving care from a hospital-based behavioral health program to investigate the relationship between patients’ level of belief in God, expectations for treatment and actual treatment outcomes. In the study, published in the current issue of Journal of Affective Disorders, researchers comment that people with a moderate to high level of belief in a higher power do significantly better in short-term psychiatric treatment than those without. Continues: http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/04/26/belief-in-god-improves-mental-health-outcomes/54121.html
  19. Our Level 3 course supports the counselling skills taught in Level 2 by providing a detailed theoretical model for Islamic Counselling. It enables the trainee to gain a clear framework of the self and self-development in which to apply the skills of Islamic Counselling to clients. It is also accredited into the National Qualifications Framework and carries university credits. by the Office of the Qualifications & Examinations Regulator (Ofqual): accreditation number 100/4905/8 and formally supported by Skills for Health (the Sector Skills Council for the UK health sector). 16 days. Admissions criteria include Level 2 or equivalent. See our website www.islamiccounselling.info for more information or contact us on mail@islamiccounselling.info Starts 23rd February on weekends.
  20. Thank you in advance for your input. By no means am I trying to degrade any religion. Please answer honestly.
  21. Dealing with Anxiety: Imam Jafar as Sadiq (a) has said in Lantern of the Path/Misbah ash Shariah "Affliction is an adornment for the believer and a mark of honour for the man of intellect, because facing it directly needs steadfastness and firm-footedness, both of which confirm belief. The Holy Prophet said, 'We, the company of the prophets, are the people who have the hardest trials, then after us come the believers, then the others like them.' Whoever tastes the food of affliction while under Allah's protection enjoys it more than he enjoys Allah's blessing. He yearns for it when it is not there, because the lights of blessing lie under the balance of affliction and trial, and the balance of affliction and trial lies under the lights of blessing. Many are delivered from affliction and then destroyed in blessing. Allah praised none of His bondsmen, from Adam up to Muhammad, until He had tested him and seen how he fulfilled the duty of worship while in affliction. Allah's marks of honour come, in fact, at the last stage, but the afflictions themselves come in the beginning." He (a) has also said: "Patience reveals whatever light and purity there is in the innermost being of Allah's servants, while anxiety shows up the darkness and bereftness inside them. Everyone claims to be patient, but only the humble are firm in it. Everyone denies his anxiety, although it is quite obvious in a hypocrite because the onset of trials and afflictions tells you who is truthful and who is a liar. Patience is a sensation that continuously prevails in one's consciousness, but what occurs upon a sudden upset cannot be called patience. Anxiety is what disturbs the heart and brings the person sorrow, changing his complexion and his state. Every event whose beginnings are without humility, repentance, and humble supplication to Allah comes from someone who is anxious, not someone who is patient. The beginning of patience is bitter, but its end is sweet for some people; but for others both its beginning and end are bitter. Whoever enters it at its end has entered it. Whoever enters it from its beginning has left it. A person who knows the value of patience cannot bear to be without it." and lastly: "Sorrow is one of the marks of the gnostics, through the magnitude of what comes to them of the Unseen when they are in seclusion, and the intensity of their glorification of Allah. The outer being of the sorrowful is contraction and his inner being is expansion." Here is a short dua from Imam Taqi Al Jawad (a) on Anxiety, from As-Saheefatul Jawaadiyyah: "aa man yakfee min kulli shay' Walaa yakfee munhu shay' Ikfinee maa ahammanee mimaa anaa feeh." O He who is sufficent from all things But nothing is sufficient from Him. Be sufficient for me in what worries me in the state I am. Related from Imam Jafar Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã, some short dua's from the Quran: ”Wa Ufawwizu Amree ilallaah inallaaha baseerun bil ibad” (40:44) So you shall remember what I say to you, and I entrust my affair to Allah, Surely Allah sees the servants. ”Mashaallahu laa Quwwata illa billah" (18:39) And wherefore did you not say when you entered your garden: It is as Allah has pleased, there is no power save in Allah? If you consider me to be inferior to you in wealth and children "La ila ha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minazzalimeen" (21;87) And Yunus, when he went away in wrath, so he thought that We would not straiten him, so he called out among afflictions: There is no god but Thou, glory be to Thee; surely I am of those who make themselves to suffer loss. "Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel" (3:173) Those to whom the people said: Surely men have gathered against you, therefore fear them, but this increased their faith, and they said: Allah is sufficient for us and most excellent is the Protector. Also remember: "ala bithikriAllahi tatma-innu alquloob" (13:28) Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest "Allahu la ilaha illahuwa lahu al-asmao alhusna" (20:8) Allah! there is no god but He! To Him belong the most Beautiful Names. Names of Allah: Al-Waahid (The Unique) One who recites this name alone and in a quiet place will be free from fear and delusion. Al-Quddus (The Holy) One who recites 100 times every day will be free from anxiety. Al-Badi (The Incomparable) One who recites this name 70 times will be free from all troubles. Ar-Rasheed (The Guide to the Right Path) One who recites this name 1000 times between Maghrib and Isha Namaz will be safe from troubles. "Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (Qur'an 3:173-174) "And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (5:23) "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (2:153) "Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (3:173-174) "And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (5:23) "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (2:153) Imam Ali (a) said: Worthy men are reserved for times of adversity. Ghurar al hikam, p. 581 Also refer to these links http://www.al-islam.org/ethics/6.htm#n26 http://www.al-islam.org/ethics/15.htm#n15
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