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Aoa Everyone, I was wondering how do the Ayaat of Surah Mujadilah apply to the lives of Muslims in this time and age. I was personally interpreting it as the fact that thihar were words used by the man to divorce his wife in the pre Islamic era, when in fact he would not divorce her but come around later and act as if nothing happened, and so it does not mean those words have to be the ones used by Hazrat Khawla's husband, but instead they can be placed in the context of todays world, where as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has stated that they do not mean that actually she has become like a mothers back to him, but now for the mental torture and his lack of control on his tongue he must make atonement, which is then further described by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Can anyone link what other scholar have to say about these ayats? Esp sistani and ghamdi? or is there a way to contact them, leave these questions for them? I will be honest, I am asking in reference to a personal situation. My father told my mother in our language (urdu) that 'mai tumhay farigh karta hun' (in an insullting tone saying i set you free (as if you are a characterless person who cannot be restrained)) and 'tumhay ab mai ghar se nikalta hun' (i am going to kick you out of the house). on other occasions he has used the words that now our relationship is finished. could these ayaat be applied in these lights? this is not just a one time anger issue, this is nearly ever week of my life the past 20 years, consistent mental abuse, just like with Hazrat Khawla RA. The above mentioned are two people i could talk to my father with reference to and he'd be willing to listen, he is the kind of person who goes back on his own words just to be always always, always right. no matter what he has to do to seem right. The Surah (1-4): 1. Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah . And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. 2. Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives – they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. 3. And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said – then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. 4. And he who does not find [a slave] – then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable – then the feeding of sixty poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His Messenger; and those are the limits [set by] Allah . And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.

I would like to know view on Psychopathy and psychopaths regarding people who were born without empathy. In Islam our core principles are based off of empathy and caring for others. How can can Islam cater to one who has no emotion? These people do exist, and are very good at hiding their psychopathy and its not like in the movies where all of them are killers. Their brains simply function on a different level than the average human, they can feel nothing on an emotional level. I am particularily talking about those who are born with this condition. Also they still know right from wrong but chose to only benefit themselves, do we have any ahadith on this or saying from the ahlulbayt? Maybe a brother/sister with psychopathy can pitch in?

Asalamu Alaikum, Now I have these two family members of mine. One is my uncle and the other is my cousin. Yet the thing about them both is that they have a mental illness. I'm not sure what its called but the main issue, lets start with my uncle, is that he has issues when it comes to talking or working. That means that he can't really do much in life. Now he just lives at my grandmother's house, he got a job once but it just didn't work out. He'll most likely not get married and I heavily doubt that will change and he just keeps doing the same routine over and over. Eat, sleep, repeat. My cousin now has a similar issue. She had an extra amount of fluids in her brain that needed to be removed at a very young age. My aunt did five brain surgeries for her and she tried her best to go to school but she couldn't go any farther than the ninth grade. She tried to be a hair designer but that failed also because its hard for her to learn complex things. She will also most probably not get married since she has issues with holding long or moderate conversations. All she can do is just sit at home and do the same thing my uncle does. When we have a family reunion I see her just sitting in the middle and frowning the whole time and not saying a word because she knows that if she wants to start a conversation it will always end in a awkward way since she can't go any farther than a few structured sentences. Now I understand that Allah gives all of us a test but when it comes to my uncle and my cousin. Just why? They have no chance of doing anything productive in society. To put it to the extreme, they are a waste of space. My grandmother cries over how her son is like that and my mom didn't ask my aunt about any details about my cousin either. But I know that my aunt is pretty much the same thing like my grandmother. So really though, just why does it have to be this way? Like all those people who have serious mental issues such as Benjamin's button disease, were they act like a child even if they're a grown adult. I know that they'll go to heaven and all but seriously though this is a terrible life to live for the person and all their loved ones.

Salam (Peace be upon you) I want to ask you about the mental evidence of the God's existence, could you mention it?

Salam Alikum everyone, I was wondering whether there is any good islamic books/ lectures that will help in positive thinking. Whenever I face a trial (employment problems or breaking up with fiancé) I go into depression. I know everything happens for a reason and its for the best. Not only do I know it but I have seen it with my own eyes and experienced it numerous times. After the hardship I have always got something much better than what I had. I keep the management of my affairs with Allah (swt) and it gives me peace of mind. Yet, I can not stop thinking about what happened and feeling upset and depressed. I know that what comes in the future will be better than what I lost inshalla but I continue to be heart broken. Maybe because I am a very impulsive person and too emotional. I always have a negative state of mind and freak out. Is it lack of faith? I have has so many trials that taught me patience and yet I still get unbearably emotional and negative. How do I become patient in the sense that anything I face will not affect me? Being quiet about it and not complaining is not called patience right?

Social Rejection May Trigger Harmful Immune Response Social rejection during adolescence hurts more than the psyche. A new study links it to changes in the immune system that could result in negative physical and mental health outcomes down the road. Among a group of adolescent girls followed for more than 2 years, researchers found evidence that targeted social rejection upregulated proinflammatory signaling molecules, particularly among girls who felt they were at the top of the social ladder. In a statement, study investigator Michael L. Murphy, PhD, of the Department of Psychology, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada, who worked on the study, noted that targeted rejection is "central to some of life's most distressing experiences — things like getting broken up with, getting fired, and being excluded from your peer group at school. In this study, we aimed to examine processes that may give these experiences the ability to affect health." The findings support other emerging evidence that "inflammation and the molecular signaling pathways that regulate inflammation are influenced to a significant degree by the external social world," the researchers write. According to the researchers, the findings have implications for understanding how social conditions increase risk for a variety of inflammation-related diseases, including depression, obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and cancer. The study was published online September 7 in Clinical Psychological Science. Rejection Packs a Proinflammatory Punch The study included 147 adolescent women between 15 and 19 years old who did not have a personal history of mental health problems but were at risk of developing a first episode of major depression due to family and other personal risk factors. Every 6 months for roughly 2.5 years, the researchers assessed them for recent episodes of targeted social rejection and psychiatric diagnoses. At each assessment, they drew blood to determine expression levels of key inflammatory signaling molecules and the inflammatory biomarkers C-reactive protein (CRP) and interleukin-6 (IL-6). Overall, 134 participants (91%) completed at least 3 assessments, and 94 (64%) completed all 6 assessments. The researchers observed higher mRNA levels for both nuclear factor–kappa B (NF-κB) and inhibitor of kappa B (I-κB), and a lower ratio of NF-κB to I-κB, following visits when a recent targeted rejection life event had occurred compared with visits when no targeted rejection life event had occurred. Targeted rejection was unrelated to levels of either CRP or IL-6. "Several studies have now shown that negative social experiences upregulate inflammatory activity," the authors note. "The present study extends this work by demonstrating for the first time that acute life events involving targeted rejection are associated with increased expression of the genes encoding NF-κB and I-κB, especially for adolescents who perceive themselves to be high in social status," they add. Dr. Murphy and colleagues speculate that this inflammatory response might be adaptive for individuals at the top of a social hierarchy, giving them a survival advantage. The researchers note, however, that an overly productive immune response can be harmful to mental and physical health in the long run. Overall, they say the findings "converge with a growing number of transcriptome-wide studies showing enhanced expression of pro-inflammatory immune response genes for individuals confronting a range of adverse social experiences including anticipated bereavement, low socioeconomic status, traumatic life events, and the diagnosis of a life-threatening illness." The findings "also challenge fundamental notions about the self as a biologically stable entity. For example, although the structure of human DNA changes relatively little over the life course, the activity of our genome is quite fluid and more permeable to external social influence than we realize." The next step, they add, is to replicate the effects they've seen in a separate study with a "more rigorous experimental design and then, if successful, evaluate their contribution to subsequent mental and physical health problems." Unique Focus Commenting on the study for Medscape Medical News, William Copeland, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, said the study adds to the evidence that negative life events, particularly those that involve loss or humiliation, are related to changes in immune function and inflammation. "What's really interesting about this study is that it kind of gets at the mechanism that really explains how this is all happening by basically looking at the gene products that are related to nuclear factor κB and inhibitor κB. "In doing so, it kind of shows us how stress may be getting under the skin and affecting inflammation," said Dr. Copeland, who has been involved in research on psychiatric predictors of inflammatory response in adolescence, including some work on peer victimization. "It's their focus on the messenger RNA which is rather unique," Dr. Copeland added. "There haven't been a lot of studies that have done that; most studies tend focus on levels of cytokines or reactive proteins in cells. This study gets at the messenger RNA." Dr. Copeland agrees that further study is needed and worthwhile. "There are a couple good steps the researchers could take for replicating it," he said. "Here they are just looking at single incidences of social rejection and the association of mRNA levels. What we have found and what other people have found is that it seems to be more chronic exposure to these negative types of events like peer rejection but also other types of things like maltreatment which seem to have the most potent effects on inflammation levels and cytokine levels; so really looking at the effects of chronic stress on inflammation is really the way to go forward." The study was supported by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression, the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada, and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. The authors and Dr. Copeland have disclosed no relevant financial relationships. Clinical Psychological Science. Published online September 7, 2012. Abstract

Suicidal Thoughts Common Among Victimized Youth Suicidal ideation is significantly more common among adolescents who have experienced any form of victimization compared with those who have not, new research shows. Heather Turner, PhD, from the University of New Hampshire, in Durham, and colleagues found that the risk for suicidal ideation was 2.4 times greater among youth who experienced peer victimization in the past year compared with youth who had not experienced bullying. Thoughts of suicide were also 3.4 times greater among youth who were sexually assaulted and 4.4 times greater among youth who had been mistreated by parents or caregivers. Youth who had been exposed to 7 or more types of victimization in the past year were almost 6 times as likely to report suicidal ideation as nonexposed youth. "We know that many adolescents are exposed to several different types of victimization, often within a fairly short period of time, so one of the important advantages of our survey is that it is a more comprehensive assessment of victimization exposure than usual," Dr. Turner told Medscape Medical News. "And I think the findings emphasize the need to include comprehensive victim assessment that takes in a wide array of different types of victimization when considering suicide intervention and prevention efforts in general." The study was published online October 22 in Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. All Types of Victimization Because earlier studies investigating the effect of victimization on suicidal ideation have typically focused on only 1 form of victimization, researchers used 2 waves of longitudinal data to examine the effects of several forms of victimization on suicidal ideation. The wave 1 survey was conducted between January and May, 2008; the second wave was conducted approximately 2 years later. An enhanced version of the Juvenile Victimization Questionnaire was used in both waves of the study, and 1 item from the Trauma Symptoms Checklist for Children was used to assess suicidal ideation. Results showed that 4.3% of the total sample of 1186 children and adolescents between the ages of 10 to 17 years in wave 1 experienced suicidal ideation in the month preceding the interview, with females reporting ideation rates almost twice those of males. The forms of victimization associated with the greatest percentage of youth reporting ideation included maltreatment, with over 16% of maltreated youth reporting suicidal ideation compared with 2.7% of adolescents who had not been maltreated. Some 23% of sexually assaulted youth also reported suicidal ideation vs 3.7% of those who had not been sexually assaulted. Almost 16% of adolescents who had been exposed to 7 or more individual types of victimization reported suicidal ideation in the past month, investigators add. There was also a "substantial" association between suicidal ideation and living in a household with a stepparent or unmarried parent partner. Victimization exposure did not fully explain this association, as investigators point out, and the particularly strong association between suicidal ideation and stepfamily households is both "worrisome" and warrants more attention, researchers suggest. "I think it's important to recognize that we're talking about the kinds of victimization many adolescents experience," Dr. Turner said. "So this is about the accumulation of different types of victimization episodes across multiple domains in adolescence, and this accumulation is what creates the greatest risk of suicidal ideation. "Our findings show how important it is to take a more holistic youth-centered approach in promoting youth health and well-being and reducing suicidal risk." Beyond Mood Disorders Peter A. Wyman, PhD, from the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York, told Medscape Medical News that what this study adds is the finding that multiple victimization episodes have an effect on suicidal ideation "above and beyond" a diagnosis of mood disorder. "It also underscores the fact that some youth are vulnerable to multiple forms of victimization, particularly when from very adverse family environments," he added. Dr. Wyman also noted that the suicide prevention field typically emphasizes the role of mood problems along with other psychiatric and substance use disorders in suicide risk. This focus usually translates into strategies to identify youth with these specific disorders before making a referral for treatment. "Far less attention has been given to clarifying the contributions of adolescents' social environment and experiences such as being victims of bullying," Dr. Wyman said. "So this study draws attention to considering doing an assessment of at-risk youth by asking about peers and events that happen in families as well as exposure to violence, as they can have added risk beyond a single event." The authors and Dr. Wyman have disclosed no relevant financial relationships. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. Published online October 22, 2012. Abstract on the other side.... Bullying Strongly Linked to Mental Health Disorders NEW ORLEANS — Children diagnosed with mental health disorders are at least 3 times more likely to be labelled as bullies as those without such diagnoses, new research shows. A nationwide survey found that 20% of US high school students reported being bullied on school property and that 16% reported being cyberbullied in the past 12 months. "The presence of a mental health disorder diagnosis, regardless of the type, is strongly associated with being a bully," said principal investigator Frances G. Turcotte-Benedict, MD, a fellow in pediatric emergency medicine at Hasbro Children's Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. The findings of the study were presented here at the 2012 American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) National Conference and Exhibition. Although it is well established that victims of bullying are at increased risk for mental health disorders and suicide, less is known about the mental health status of those who do the bullying, Dr. Turcotte-Benedict pointed out. "Victims are at increased risk for depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic complaints, while we believe that bullies are at increased risk for substance abuse, academic problems, and violence," she said. "We wanted to identify the prevalence of bullying among children with mental health disorders and to determine if the diagnosis of a mental health disorder should be considered a risk factor for bullying behavior," she said. "Our hypothesis was that children with a mental health illness would be more likely to bully other children." Need for Psychological Support Dr. Turcotte-Benedict and colleagues reviewed data on 63,997 children, aged 6 to 17 years, provided by their parents or guardians in the 2007 National Survey of Children's Health. Bivariate analyses and logistic regression were performed to assess the association between mental health status and being identified as a bully. The survey showed that 15.2% of US children were identified as bullies by their own parent or guardian and that 16.6% had been diagnosed with at least 1 mental health disorder. Children with mental health disorders were most likely to be white, non-Hispanic males. Significant differences were observed in mental health status according to age, neighborhood safety, parent-child communication, type of school, and bullying status. The logistic regression analysis controlled for these. Overall, children with mental health disorders were 3 times more likely to bully other children. Of 10,616 children with a mental health diagnosis, 2503 (29.8%) demonstrated bullying behavior. Of 53,445 without a mental health diagnosis, 4986 (12.4%) were considered bullies. A subanalysis of the type of mental health disorder, adjusted for age, sex, race, ethnicity, neighborhood safety, and parent-child communication, found the following odds ratios for children who engage in bullying behavior vs children without these mental health diagnoses: Depression: odds ratio (OR), 3.31 (95% confidence interval [CI], 2.70 - 4.07) Anxiety: OR, 2.89 (95% CI, 2.41 - 3.46) Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: OR, 2.82 (95% CI, 2.43 - 3.28) Oppositional defiant disorder: OR, 6.02 (95% CI, 5.03 - 7.21) When questioned as to the finding of bullying among children who are depressed, Dr. Turcotte-Benedict pointed out that depression in adolescence is often associated with impulsivity, which can fuel bullying behavior. "These findings highlight the importance of providing psychological support not only to victims of bullying but to bullies as well," Dr. Turcotte-Benedict said. "In order to create successful antibullying prevention and intervention programs, we need more research to understand the relationship more thoroughly, and especially the risk profile of childhood bullies." Worry About the Bully Session moderator Benjamin Hoffman, associate professor of pediatrics at Oregon Health and Sciences University in Portland, said the findings fit his gestalt of the issue. "This study confirms what most of us have long suspected. In a bully relationship, it's the bully I worry about most," he told Medscape Medical News. "We worry about the short-term effects on the victim, and we understand there may be long-term ramifications, but the factors that underlie the bully's motivation to bully are important," he said. "This study highlights that we have a lot more to learn about what gets the bully 'to bully.' I am sure the issues around mental health disorders will be the tip of the iceberg, and we will find issues of poverty, education, exposure to domestic violence, and so forth to also be factors. While the findings do not surprise me, it is important to have the science to back up this up. This will help us identify kids at risk before they develop bullying behaviors, so we can protect both the bully and the victim." Dr. Turcotte-Benedict and Dr. Hoffman have disclosed no relevant financial relationships. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) National Conference and Exhibition. Presented October 22, 2012.

Dealing with Anxiety: Imam Jafar as Sadiq (a) has said in Lantern of the Path/Misbah ash Shariah "Affliction is an adornment for the believer and a mark of honour for the man of intellect, because facing it directly needs steadfastness and firm-footedness, both of which confirm belief. The Holy Prophet said, 'We, the company of the prophets, are the people who have the hardest trials, then after us come the believers, then the others like them.' Whoever tastes the food of affliction while under Allah's protection enjoys it more than he enjoys Allah's blessing. He yearns for it when it is not there, because the lights of blessing lie under the balance of affliction and trial, and the balance of affliction and trial lies under the lights of blessing. Many are delivered from affliction and then destroyed in blessing. Allah praised none of His bondsmen, from Adam up to Muhammad, until He had tested him and seen how he fulfilled the duty of worship while in affliction. Allah's marks of honour come, in fact, at the last stage, but the afflictions themselves come in the beginning." He (a) has also said: "Patience reveals whatever light and purity there is in the innermost being of Allah's servants, while anxiety shows up the darkness and bereftness inside them. Everyone claims to be patient, but only the humble are firm in it. Everyone denies his anxiety, although it is quite obvious in a hypocrite because the onset of trials and afflictions tells you who is truthful and who is a liar. Patience is a sensation that continuously prevails in one's consciousness, but what occurs upon a sudden upset cannot be called patience. Anxiety is what disturbs the heart and brings the person sorrow, changing his complexion and his state. Every event whose beginnings are without humility, repentance, and humble supplication to Allah comes from someone who is anxious, not someone who is patient. The beginning of patience is bitter, but its end is sweet for some people; but for others both its beginning and end are bitter. Whoever enters it at its end has entered it. Whoever enters it from its beginning has left it. A person who knows the value of patience cannot bear to be without it." and lastly: "Sorrow is one of the marks of the gnostics, through the magnitude of what comes to them of the Unseen when they are in seclusion, and the intensity of their glorification of Allah. The outer being of the sorrowful is contraction and his inner being is expansion." Here is a short dua from Imam Taqi Al Jawad (a) on Anxiety, from As-Saheefatul Jawaadiyyah: "aa man yakfee min kulli shay' Walaa yakfee munhu shay' Ikfinee maa ahammanee mimaa anaa feeh." O He who is sufficent from all things But nothing is sufficient from Him. Be sufficient for me in what worries me in the state I am. Related from Imam Jafar Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã, some short dua's from the Quran: ”Wa Ufawwizu Amree ilallaah inallaaha baseerun bil ibad” (40:44) So you shall remember what I say to you, and I entrust my affair to Allah, Surely Allah sees the servants. ”Mashaallahu laa Quwwata illa billah" (18:39) And wherefore did you not say when you entered your garden: It is as Allah has pleased, there is no power save in Allah? If you consider me to be inferior to you in wealth and children "La ila ha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minazzalimeen" (21;87) And Yunus, when he went away in wrath, so he thought that We would not straiten him, so he called out among afflictions: There is no god but Thou, glory be to Thee; surely I am of those who make themselves to suffer loss. "Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel" (3:173) Those to whom the people said: Surely men have gathered against you, therefore fear them, but this increased their faith, and they said: Allah is sufficient for us and most excellent is the Protector. Also remember: "ala bithikriAllahi tatma-innu alquloob" (13:28) Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest "Allahu la ilaha illahuwa lahu al-asmao alhusna" (20:8) Allah! there is no god but He! To Him belong the most Beautiful Names. Names of Allah: Al-Waahid (The Unique) One who recites this name alone and in a quiet place will be free from fear and delusion. Al-Quddus (The Holy) One who recites 100 times every day will be free from anxiety. Al-Badi (The Incomparable) One who recites this name 70 times will be free from all troubles. Ar-Rasheed (The Guide to the Right Path) One who recites this name 1000 times between Maghrib and Isha Namaz will be safe from troubles. "Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (Qur'an 3:173-174) "And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (5:23) "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (2:153) "Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the owner of Great Bounty." (3:173-174) "And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed..." (5:23) "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer..." (2:153) Imam Ali (a) said: Worthy men are reserved for times of adversity. Ghurar al hikam, p. 581 Also refer to these links http://www.al-islam.org/ethics/6.htm#n26 http://www.al-islam.org/ethics/15.htm#n15