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Found 339 results

  1. Salaam. I am a sunni and I like a boy who is shia. Say we wanted to get married so before marriage will I need to do hajj? And do the tawaf al nisa? or is it not mandatory for me and only he will have to do it?
  2. This is the first Ramadan I will fast when married. I understand that I can not have sex with my wife during the fast. However I have some questions: Does no sex during the fast mean no penetration or no ejaculation? Can we touch each other's genitals? If no, do you mean to the point of ejaculation or literally no touching at all? Thank you for your responses in advance.
  3. Assalamualaykum, I know this topic has been discussed time and time again, but I believe this matter should be dealt with on a case by case basis. I am a Sunni male (21 years old, about to graduate college and go to professional school) and I am attracted to a Shia girl. She and I are very good friends, and everything I'd like to see in a future wife, she has. We are trying to proceed with this the halal way and will be notifying our parents ASAP. A little about me and my family, we are extremely pro-ahlul-bayt. My father, especially, is extremely knowledgable when it comes to ahlul-bayt and he respects people of the Shia madhab. He is always lecturing me and his friends about the virtues of the ahlul-bayt and how we should use them as role models and also how they went through such extreme trials and tribulations. So that is a little about the type of household this Shia girl would be joining. I myself have been learning a lot about how Shias pray salah, a lot about their version of history, watching lectures, etc. There are many things that I agree with and respect, and I am much more aware and open to it now than ever before (not saying I would convert). Getting back to the topic at hand, I have assured this girl that neither my family, and especially me, will ever force her to practice anything against her will. I really like her for who and what she is, and I would never force her to change. Quite frankly, I believe these Shia-Sunni arguments and hatred is extremely unnecessary and I disagree with it. In terms of convincing parents, I think I will have it much easier than the girl. Her father is very extreme in his views and is very pro-Shia so it will be an uphill battle (he is just being a great father and looking out for his precious girl, so I understand). I was wondering if you guys could give any feedback on how she would approach and persuade her father? Would you guys support this marriage if it were you in my situation or if it were your kids? I think if she showed him some comments on here in support of us, he would be more open to it. At the end of the day, I believe that two Muslims who seem to be perfect for each other, love their last Prophet (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), love the ahlul-bayt, and are tied to their deen, should be allowed to be together. JazakAllah for your time everyone!
  4. Salam everyone. Please read this, any kind words will help, I promise you. I know it’s very long but there is soo much emotions going through my head at the moment 4 years ago, I found someone perfect for marriage. We told our parents 1 month after. I’m Iraqi & he is Lebanese. We knew it would be an issue but we are both Shia and we just knew this is the right choice for each other. when I told my dad, I was crying. I told him he’s a great man & a great family. He has so much deen in him, has a great character and very family oriented. My dads problem was only the nationality & our generation talk about us. Which aren’t valid for him to reject it. 3 1/2 years later, he allowed for him to come over and he absolutely loved him. He said as soon as I laid my eyes on him, I knew he was a very innocent good guy. Which is great right? It’s been 1 month since they came over twice and my dad is making this his last priority! He wants to go overseas, and my mum keeps telling him to go after I get married but it seems he gets annoyed when my mum talks to him about it. He will talk about my brother getting married but not me. So again, my mum would said stop talking about our son when our daughter is more than ready to get married, his family is waiting to hear from us. this situation in my life has broken me soo many times. I have cried over it way too many times, I will act like I’m not hurt infront of anyone, as I’m driving off crying my eyes out in the car. Everytime I smile I’m dying inside. I feel so drained, this is not far.. 4 years is way too long to wait when I was ready so early on. It’s not fair to me or him or his family. I don’t know why my dad isn’t making this his priority. I know what sabr is and I am, I mean 4 whole years of sabr but it’s sooo hard. I’m still doing my duties of being the perfect daughter, I help my dad out in any way possible but it’s gone to the point where I will be dropping him of somewhere and I’m literally tearing up driving while he’s in the passenger seat. Doesn’t he know that this is killing me? I have already finished 3 degrees because there’s nothing else to do, I’m ready for marriage, I’m ready for kids, I’m ready to do the duties of a wife. Why from all people, my dad is stopping me. I Don’t know what to do anymore. My sisters and friends will tell me “omg I would’ve lost my calm if I was you” “how are you so patience” or others will say “just be patience” & it’s starting to make me angry because I’ve been patient for 4 years, Don’t tell me “there’s no need to rush”. I honestly feel numb. Please someone say something just to make me step back & fall back on wallah. Sometimes I think to myself, why isn’t Allah helping me.. he knows the pain that I’m going through. Waiting to hear from you all, thank you for reading this. Btw I’m 24 now.
  5. Hello, I’m a Sunni girl and the perosn I’m marrying is an ismaili Shia. The problem we’re facing is deciding what our children (in the future IA) will be. I’ve said to him that I want them pray my way primarily (5 times a day), and apart for that they can go to the ismaili jamaat khana with their father. And learn all the good values taught to them, and also take part in the activities there. He believes that this would lead to an identity crisis for them. For example, I’ll teach them that we have 12 Imaams while in the jamaat khana they’ll be taught about the >40 (and still on gojng) Imams that Ismailis have. And in the jamaat khana they’ll be taught to pray the ismaili way, and they’ll be living amongst ismaili. So he says that things like these would lead to an identity crisis for them, which would be ofcourse really bad for them. But I’m persisting that we can make this work. Please if any one has any advise or has been in a similar situation, please help us out a bit. I need some direction as to if this ‘middle ground’ can work. Please let me know. I’ll be extremely grateful.
  6. Hi I am a shia convert Alhamdulilah since the past 4 years and honestly it has been incredible at the same time it has been difficult aswell. I just wanted to know why is it so diffcult for shia community to take a revert and make him/her a part of their family and even takes them time to make him/her a part of their community. Especially seeing that a convert already faces the bigger challenge of going against their parents and entire family to believe but these difficulties I would suppose would dishearten several individual who would like to convert. Any comments on this?
  7. Asalamalekum, Currently i am living away from my wife due to her visa issues, and involved in long distance relationship. We speak with each other on skype and phone, my problem is of that of all men who are facing similar issue like men. I fail to control my urges, once i chat with my wife and masturbate. When i wasn't married, i would control myself long periods of time and not masturbate, but after marriage it is even harder. Because i am chatting with my wife and the urges naturally kicks in. I understand that for a bachelor it is haram to masturbate because he would imagine other women to masturbate to. But i simply don't understand the logic behind, even if a man thinks of his wife in extreme circumstances and masturbate? In quran it is mention, "we should guard our private parts except from our spouse" but it doesn't clearly says a lot into masturbation when a man is thinking of his wife?
  8. Salam alikum, old time member of Shia community. I am moving to Iran to resettle there from the London. I want everyone's sincere advice on this new move. What seems to be the best bussiness to start there ? What seems to be the most Western country in Iran ? Is Mutah Nikkah possible in Iran and if so where can I find it and how much will the Mehr be for that ? Will it be hard for me as a British Pakistani who doesn't speak too Farsi? What are the event prices there ? Would anyone give their daughter for Mutah Nikkah to me ? And last but not least how is the Shia culture there. Thanks for reading this, and I hope you guys can Give me a better advice.
  9. Salaam alaykum everyone, as the title may suggest, I am slightly nervous about talking to a potential wife for the first time. First things first, she is Iraqi and so am I. I have met her once not too long ago but I've never really talked to her and now both sides of the family are considering we make a contract for a while, in that time we can talk and get to know each other (over the phone). As much as I agree with this idea, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed with what I should ask or do. She lives abroad but in the west as well, from what I've noticed her Arabic is quite stronger than mine which is what's making me feel so ashamed and nervous in the first place, not that my Arabic is awful.. but you know how Iraqis sometimes say random words you've never heard of? I experience that a lot with my family and I don't know how bad that will be perceived. Also I believe her ability in speaking English is rather limited so language wise we aren't really at a great start. I really don't want to mess this up and make myself seem stupid so I've come here to ask my fellow brothers and sisters who have gone through the talking stage some questions, what things am I expected to be asked and what should I be asking? Anything particularly relating to our Iraqi background might be helpful too or just general marriage advice. Also if you have any recommended reading on marriage then don't hesitate to share! I was hoping this thread could be helpful for people in the future who might be in the same problem because personally I couldn't find much advice on this online. P.S I have never talked much to women either sooo that's another reason why I'm nervous. Many thanks and may Allah bless all of you :)
  10. The notion of having to 'fall in love' with someone before marrying them is widely accepted in western and nowadays eastern societies as a given. Arranged marriages are often frowned upon because of the 'lack of love' between the two? Someone wise once said, True love, is to love yourself for someone else; not to love someone else for you. True love is the love of a parent who would give everything to their child to keep them comfortable. Isn't 'love before marriage' simply love because they have what we desire? Isn't this selfishness and self-love rather than true love? Either way, before marriage, both parties are on their absolute best behaviour, showing the best, nicest, sweetest side they possibly can; so in essence we're falling in 'love' and we desire qualities that are often exaggerated and far from reality! Isn't this a reason why we're seeing so many divorces? This also somehwhat supports the argument that true love only comes AFTER marriage; through getting to know each other without the facade, through working together, helping each other and learning from one another etc Your thoughts?
  11. Salam guys, Can someone enlighten me on the caste system? I'm a Syed, Shia girl and want to marry a non syed Shia whos practicing his faith. Unfortunatly I come from the Indo/Pak region and my family is highly respected! If I marry this guy, I will bring shame to the family, and they'll probably kill me for the sake of family honour. I have had this conversation with my father, and he says that, Imam Ali(a.s) was a Syed but his kids from his other wives(aka Hazrat Abbas a.s) were not Syed. So I cant say that Imam Ali a.s got his other daughters married to non syeds. Is their any hadiths and any verses of the Qur'an that clearly state, this is halal?
  12. I came along a post by a brother on this website regarding creating a centralised marriage bureau. This is a wonderful idea and had always been on the back of my mind. I always wanted to contribute to our community and what better project like this that can be useful to a lot of my family memebers and friends. Though it seems like a difficult and expensive project, I still think its doable. I see so many of us youth struggling to find a partner especially Shias living outside their home countries since thre aren’t enough Shias everywhere and I know people ready to marry a Sunni just because they can’t find a good Shia partner. That is like losing a part of our generation to Sunnis. I think if no one from our generation takes an effort to find a solution to this then our next generation will struggle even more and may marry outside the sect and religion. My idea is to create a centralised database of all the eligible people over an app and to get registered on this app you will need to go through your local Islamic center or mosque. This way the people on the app are only verified people. Also, you can keep a small amount of yearly membership fee in order to keep all the non serious people away. This can be a youth marriage organisation with the same name but branches in major cities of the world like London, New York, Toronto, Dubai, Chicago etc etc. Something like ‘who is Hussain’. We can get volunteers to work in different parts of the world to verify the people and give them a green signal to be on the app. Though there’s shiamatch but it is pretty outdated and are a lot of duplicate profiles and people who have already been married but never bothered to deactivate their accounts. With muzmatch the problem is it has mainly Sunnis and very few Shias. I just need some suggestions, feedback and comments on this. What do you think of this idea? How do you think we can go about implementing it? Please don’t bother commenting if your intention is just to criticise the idea however constructive criticism will be appreciated :). Thank you in advance
  13. Salam I'd like to get an opionion if it's the norm that a husband chooses to masturbate and watch porn as it makes him feel good. Why he chooses to do this if he's married ? He is aware it's haram but doesn't think it hurts anyone so not a problem doing it. I'd like to know do alot of men who are married do this ? Is this something that is happening in marriages that is widespread and noone talks about it? Does the man have the right to do this if for what ever reason his wife does not give him what he needs when he needs it? Or is it still wrong ? Has a wife got the right to ask him to stop this behaviour ? And if he does not, what can she do? Thank you
  14. My question is clear and it is in relation to loyalty within marital relationships only.. I will elaborate furthermore in case it’s not understood.. If a man is allowed to marry more than one wife.. how then can he claim to be a loyal person? What can we understand from the Qur'an / Islam in general when it comes to loyalty / faithfulness? I hope my question is clear..
  15. Asalamalaikum. How do I get good marriage proposals, any dua to recite daily, I already recite a few and pray alot and that's causing me alot of stress and Depression as I'm about to turn 25 and still I haven't gotten any good proposal yet , plz pray dear brothers and sisters that I get a good proposal or suggest me any dua, as almost all my friends, cousins are married now and Im just facing alot of difficulties these days.
  16. Salam, I am a very old visitor ShiaChat. This is my very first post here with this ID because of the type of Topic and because of needing help. I have been living overseas for a decade and now moved to Pakistan to make my religion stronger. One thing that is bothering me is the companionship of the opposite sex. I’d like to tell you I am a new convert to Shia from Sunni and my family disowned me and blocked me from family acitivities on that ground, but mashallah say by the grace of Allah, I have a high paying job and so it was easy to move on but feel lonely, left out and often wanders around. I need companionship, love as all of us. I don’t want to indulge in anything wrong such as prostitution or adultery or porn and after much through thinking and trying to be as close to the religion as possible I understand that a Mutah Nikkah or temporary marriage is my only solution. I am desperatly seeking your help and guidance. I am looking for advice on how to find such proposal. Society in Pakistan has become very hyper sexualize to the point that temporary nikkah is the best solution. I have thought about some ways, I thought about giving an ad in the local Newspaper here, but then do not know the legal repercussion that may come with it. I searched online and found only a few posts regarding this that gave me no help, I even approached marriage agencies in Lahore but it like most of them do not even cater to Shia let alone mutahnikkah. Please help and advice. I feel lonely, desperate and often times vulnerable. I do not want to go on the path of Shaitan and carry illicit activities (which has become all too common in Pakistan). Please let me know if you know A) Which local newspaper I should post this ad to B) Which marriage agency will work best for me C) Any family that is in need of such
  17. Al salamu aleikum brothers and sisters, I am male, 19 and live in a western country. Ever since I have become 16 my family father and my grandmother started to try to get me married. Now it hit a new level tho. My family threatened to not let me go to university if I don't get married. I can understand that they are worried about me and that they just want to protect me from sinning, which is a reasonable thing to do. Especially in a western society where all the women are half naked etc. But my problem is that I personally don't feel like I am in a position to marry. I suffer from depression and have been involuntarly hospitalized in the past. But my parents act like it never happened. I also suffer from social anxiety, low self esteem and I also have trust issues. Also I'm not happy with my current life situation and want to make big changes before I consider marriage. (like working out, improving my mental health, earning money and start studying ) But my parents are very stubborn or strict about it. Also it feels kind wierd to just ask for the hand of someone you don't really know. Especially in western society. And yes I do sometimes feel lonely or get certain urges but I have learned to suppress them. Its not about me being against the concept of marriage but rather me not feeling ready for it. I have tried to make this clearer to my parents but to them it's just some random excuse. Can anyone help me with this situation. Anyone have an idea of what to do or to say to my parents. Am I even in the right or should I just oblige to my parents will? I'm really not sure what to do anymore. Thanks in advance <3
  18. am i allowed to do mutah but agree with no intercourse? and can i do this without my fathers permission
  19. اللّهُمّ صَلّ عَلَى مُحَمّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمّدٍ This matter has been bothering me for quite a while, please tell me using accurate references if a marriage between a Muslim woman and Christian/Jew man is HARAM...
  20. Why do people think it’s okay to 1- have a mixed wedding 2- have women wearing makeup in front of non mahrams Is there a Hadith somewhere that says we can commit haram on the day of our weddings? If someone has a reference please share it with me, because I’m not sure how people can call themselves Muslims and still blatantly violate Allah’s command
  21. I feel I'm not ambitious enough about financial growth. I just don't get winded up about it. Even though I need to get settled ASAP, pronto to turn my 3 year old nikkah into a marriage (rukhsati). But even apart from the marriage pre and post expenses. I want to get settled. I just fear the entire job/gig/work searching process and just can't get myself to do it. I see people starting with whatever comes their way and eventually landing some good job. And I just sit and wait for something 'perfect' and 'optimal' to come my way.... . Please suggest some al-Islam pdf content or personal advice for me to get excited about getting financially ambitious and eventually settled.... . I say financially ambitious because otherwise I like to study, keep myself up to date, keep my deen in place...
  22. Asalam aleykum dear brothers and sisters. I have an Islamic question that fits my personal situation. I want to have more information about how to handle my situation. It's as follows: I live in the Netherlands and my wife lives in Pakistan. We've been married for over a year now. In the Netherlands I study and in 2 years I will be finishing my study. Then I can work and get my wife to the Netherlands ( due to my stable income) Each year I visit my wife in the summer during holidays. Then we will also sleep together. But the problem is that her parents don't allow me and her to have intercourse with each other. We are allowed to sleep together but we aren't allowed to have intercourse. I don't know what to do. Because in Islamic point of view having intercourse is legal. It's even illegal to deny sexual feelings for each other while being married. On the other hand having intercourse will be against the will of her parents. Also I will break their trust. I hope you can help me out with this question. Greetings, Jawad
  23. With all the grousing I've been doing on other topics, including ones I promised myself I'd ignore forever ( failed), I felt it was time to balance the universe and say something nice about a Shia for a change. Lol. SG and DD have had little time to themselves since the baby came, what with parenthood, school, and jobs happening. But school is over, jobs are on a break, and the little fellow finally weaned, which means he can be away from his parents for the night. We are watching him because SG made arrangements to take my daughter away for a bit. DD send me some photos. They are in a super-nice hotel up the coast with an ocean view and room service and he's set up a spa time for her along with many other fun activities. He's had the whole room decorated with her favorite flowers and there are even rose petals on the bed. She also sent the photos and info to her sister-in-law and sister-in-law to be. Now my sons are mad at SG for setting the bar so darn high. well, Grandma duty calls...
  24. I've read that you write your own certificate and have it notarized to allow you to preform Hajj or get married. What information must be included to go to mecca and would a name change make so I don't need a certificate. My legal first name means one who worships Jesus and is supposed to be changed anyway. Would taking an Arabic last and first name mean that I wouldn't need a certificate. I want one for my personal records just to commemorate my conversion and don't intend to visit mecca anytime soon so I'm considering leaving the passport number off until I can get a passport witch takes about three months but longer for me because my legal name is going to change it may take a 6 to 8 months before I'll be able to get one. I want the certificate now. should I get one and just replace with an updated version later?
  25. Hello and thank you for accepting me here. I find myself in a different situation for myself and hope that I can find guidance here. I have met a Shia man who has caught my interest (which is very difficult to achieve!). He is funny, intelligent, attractive and patient. The feeling is mutual. we have known each other for quite some time and the feelings are becoming intense. My question is this: is marriage possible between a Shia and a non-Muslim? Please be kind in your response...
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