Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'Child'.
Found 14 results
Single mother reverting to Shia Islam
Yasehsan posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalHi all, I posted on this site when I was pregnant with my son last year for advice. I fell pregnant to a Shia Muslim man and he decided he wanted nothing to do with me or his son because of his family circumstances (hes not married). His reasons for not wanting to see his son are because he did not want a child and his family would disown him if they found out. He also stated he did not want to be with me (after a 3 year relationship) which was all one sided and kept secret from his family. I posted on this site asking advice on whether to tell his parents or not. I decided not to tell his parents as I did not want him to be left without a home. I tried everything in my power to have him in my sons life. However, his decision was final. I accepted the fact that he did not want anything to do with us. He helps finanically and I appreciate this more than anyone will ever know. I finally reached out to his sister when my son was 7 weeks old. To my surprise she wanted to see us both and have a relationship with my son. She confirmed that his mother and father (father more so) would not allow their son back into their lives if they found out about me and my son. I finally told my sons father that I reached out to his sister and he is fine with that. However, he still does not want anything to do with my son. Sorry for the long post! I thought I would just give a little background information about my situation. I have thought about converting to Islam for a long time now. I have family who are Muslim who I do not have a relationship with due to personal family reasons and have always wondered about what my life would be like if I did see them and I was brought up in Islam. I would like to know more about Shia Islam and read books before I make my decision. So I guess I am looking for books, websites and any one in my area - London, who could kindly help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Thank you
My dad verbally and emotionally abuses my mom
Zellali posted a topic in Travel/Local CommunityFirst of all, my dad is what in our society (im from islamabad, pakistan) we'd call "religious". He prays five times a day, fasts, gives zakat, knows widely about the religion, and makes sure we know all of that. The part where he strays is that he believes my mom likes to show herself off, and likes the attention of other men. She can't do something as simple as taking a shower and going to work (teaching grade 1 students) the next day, without my dad thinking she's trying impress someone My mom has sacrificed her life for us, compromised for us (im the eldest daughter (17) , and i have three younger brothers (12,9,8)), because four years after the marriage he started showing his true colours. Btw, this was an arranged marriage, so none of that "maybe he feels like she'll love someone else". He's just an insecure man, with anger issues, who has never blamed himself for anything or openly apologised for the big arguments HE causes (not in the time ive been alive and been able to understand), thinks he knows best and there is no one better than him, doesn't have ANY real friends, and the one he does have, he constantlysays [Edited Out] about him to my mom, and then goes and places his world to the feet of this friend (btw this friend isnt alll that amazing either, but least he isnt a [Edited Out] bag like my dad( believe me i know)). when i was younger he used to physically abuse and hurt my mom, and he used to hit me too. he even went to saying that I also have a boyfriend when all i did was go upstairs to get a book (apparently there was some guy at the balcony opposite to our house, and i was " trying to communicate with him". i didnt take this lightly and raised voice and finger and started hitting me and dragged me down the stairs, and just like my nine year old self, i wanted to die and just kept repeating ' should have jusy killed me you ass' (this was two years ago). we had video camerasn around the house so mom opened them up, and showed i had done no such thing. he didnt apologise, he didnt even do anything to show remorse, instead justified everything from thefact that a raised my voise and held my finger up. a year ago, i was upset with him for another reason, and i told my mom. i told her to leave it that it was whatever, ill get over it. but she bought it up, and we got into an argument, and i do admit i shouldnt have misbehaved again (only verbally like raising my voice or rolling my eyes) but he got so aggressive and tried to slap me so i stopped him and threw his hand away,,, he went to the kitchen and got a knife , and all i could think agout was my mom cause she was trying to stop him and he kept saying "THIS IS WHY YOU SEE FATHERS KILLING THEIR DAUGHTERs ON THE NEWS" and "YOUVE TAAUGHT THEM NOTNHING YOUNSELFISH, USELESS, (swear word, more swear words, swearing at her family)". a couple a days ago, hes started fighting with her again even though its my international exams that make up my grade for my university. in the morning i woke up to my mom begging him to just stop cause he kept saying "i know what you do, i know your actions, i know your disgusting behaviour" (btw we know that this craziness is over once he just starts getting , ok? like it just dies down). as a child, id always step in, even get a few slaps if i had to to get in between him hurting her, but ive grown now and know my duties given to me by Allah, about respecting my parents, and getting in between ( my mom also keeps saying its just two more years, you'll be off to uni then and everything will be fine, and ' pls dont waste my sacrifices' everytime i want to interfere (hes threatened stopping me from studying several times). ever since i was small my dad has told me to aim for a scholarship because he knew more abput this stuff, but now i think, would he even let me leave the city let alone country to continue studies? hes rejected going to a psychologist, talking to anybody (he doesnt believe he has a problem, he thinks my moms the problem) about this, he says we make him angry and that before marriage he was never like this ( he has changed a lot in the sense that my mom and i can wear clothes like jeans but only with long shirts (my moms always worn a duppatta over her head (covers her hair)). cant get my dads side involved firstly, theyd love this. secondly, theyre all like this themselves. his sisters do burka andd all but theyre always free to go wherever whenever, meet whoever. they sometimes go ariund with this 'pir' (guy who does black magic) but if we point that out, all hell would brreak loose on us. (his sisters got married to two brothers, so same household). theyre background is from a not even respectable village, so i cant count on them. cant tell my moms side, they already have their own financial and family issues (my mom doesnt want us four to become a drama in our family, whatever that means cause like our house isnt already a drama). sometimes my mom gets so fed up, she says "MAY Allah TAKE ME SO YOU (my dad) CAN HAPPY AND MARRY ANOTHER WIFE" and now hes started saying " may he, so you burn in hell". he says all these other wives are so obedient and nice, but shes not. he says the money my mom brings in holds no value to him, even though she doesnt get to use it, he uses it all, our groceries and school fees are payed with it (oh and he hasnt had a job in years, sells plots and gets profit, but now none of that is working either so the 'no valued' monry shes been bringijng in since 6 years, is all that is coming into our house. hes in the world where Allah has made him the ' man' of this household, however he doesnt fulfill the duties and says my mom is the reason why there are no blessings in her house. he tells her to leaveher job, and says Allah will provide us with the money, that we'll be fine without hers (our fees are cut 75% short because of her, and we get house groceries, petrol for the car, and whatnot from her salary and our rent (which again is none of his own hardwork, our grandfather gave us this house)). i know this is very long, but please help me. ive thought about killing myself from the age of 7 to 14, i even used to self harm thinking if he saw me in the state hes put my mind in the pressure and the mistreatement (moms mistreatement is what gets to me, he doesnt do much to my brothers except for the middle one whom he thought wasnt his and rejected him emotionally for four years and now hes become habitual on scolding him the most, and my brother knows my dad rejects him the most but all he does is get upst over it). ive been so patient these pasts months, but ive had enough. this morning i walked in on them , half sleep, holding everything i could grab (like spray bottles, perfumes, my bloody mascara botle) to throw it at him because it seemed llike he was gonna get physical again. please help me, please please pplease
a weird question
Um-e-Farwa posted a topic in General Islamic DiscussionAoa, i heard a shia scholar saying that every time a mother feeds her baby, she can ask for money from her husband, i later discussed that with my father and he said that it is not true. i just wanna know what does islam say about this.
(bismillah) (salam) I hope you are all in the best of health and Imaan (faith). So, I have recently seen people being very concerned about the allegation some non-Muslims make against the Holy Prophet (pbuh) , in regards to the age of his wife Aisha at the time of their marriage. Many a Muslims are shocked when they hear of the narrations regarding her age (there are, of course, differing accounts but I am talking about the accounts which age her fairly her young, at around 6 when the marriage took place and 9 at the time of consummation). Many non-Muslims try to raise this as an issue to malign the Prophet (pbuh) as immoral and a man who is controlled by carnal desires - I am not even going to mention the names they call him because of how lowly they are. This is why I decided to give a few points which helped me out on this matter, mainly the age of Lady Fatima (peace be upon her), when she was married. Although I, myself, am not really sure and do not have a concrete view on what really was Aisha's age at the time of the marriage because I have seen conflicting theories and I can't seem to decide which one is right, at least, not at the moment. I did, however, come up with something that makes me very comfortable, even if she was 9 at the time of consummation, as those who like to malign the Prophet (pbuh) would like and I would like to share this with you. Before I delve into the point which occurred to me, I want to give an example. I remember a member of Shiachat creating a thread recently, explaining how his/her (I don't want to give too many clues about the identity of that person because the member may not like it) father had this addiction for pornography and how he overcame it. One of the major reasons this person gave for his/her father leaving this nasty habit was that he could not accept his daughter doing "something silly with stupid men" and, so, the women in those magazines/videos were also the daughters of someone and if he disliked his daughters doing such acts, he should also take into account that these women were also the daughters of someone. Now, the only reason I brought up this whole thing was to show one thing: in these cases of immorality, no matter how vile and immoral the person is, he/she would still be very uncomfortable with his own daughters performing the acts of indecency that he was so used to. The point, in a nutshell, is that a person may do all sorts of morally corrupt actions but when it comes to their own children, they don't like the idea of their own children doing those acts, no matter how much of it they, themselves, do it. Coming to the Prophet (pbuh) , the thing I want to point out is that, according to the Shi'i narrations, the age of Lady Fatima (peace be upon her) at the time of marriage was 9 (according to the Sunni narrations, she was a bit more older, at around 11, but would still be considered a child by the standards of those who try to malign the Prophet (pbuh) and, so, the age we take does not matter - she was a "child" at that time). It is said that she had her first-born when she was 10 and, so, it is reasonable to assume that the marriage was consummated when she was still 9, or at most, 10. Now, if the Prophet (pbuh) was an indecent man who married Aisha at such a young age because of whatever reasons the opponents give, trying to make it look like immoral, I want to ask, keeping in mind the example I gave above, even if he was so immoral, why would he let his daughter also marry at approximately the same age as his marriage was consummated with Aisha? Even the most vile person would not allow his daughter to undergo oppression, which is what they say the Prophet (pbuh) marriage to Aisha was, to Aisha. The Prophet (pbuh) 's decision to let his own daughter marry at this "young" age clearly shows that he did not find it immoral for a woman to marry at this age and, therefore, he cannot be criticised regarding his marriage to Aisha. The concept of morality he had did not make it immoral to marry a 9 year old and, so, we cannot use our standards on him! I wonder why those modernists who even support homosexuality simply on the premise of multiculturalism, tolerance and accepting the differences within cultures are so eager to attack the Prophet (pbuh) when the same reasons apply to his case? Some do try and purport that the concept of morality in his time was different but his actions, being those of a Prophet, should be moral for all ages and times. This is, perhaps, the most ludicrous arguement one could make in this regard. There are two very basic flaws in such an arguement: 1. He is the Prophet of Allah (pbuh) , the Messenger of God who teaches us what God deems right and wrong and, so, morality should be predicated upon his commands and actions. We should appraise the morality of our actions using him as the model and not the other way round, evaluating his actions on our conceptions of morality. Such a thing is extremely outrageous and ridiculous because according to social dynamics, the what is perceived as moral or immoral with society is always changing and, so, we cannot judge his actions on a scale that is not even constant. He is the yardstick and, so, we can't judge the yardstick based on the specimen because that is totally opposite logic! 2. Like I have said above, conceptions of morality are always changing within societies and, so, we can't expect someone's actions to fulfill the requirements of all these differing concepts. Sometimes, we may find the conception of what is moral regarding a certain issue being contradictory to what is conceived as moral in another society. How can we expect - or, indeed, ask - a person to be moral using both definitions when, obviously, they are antithetical? Insha'Allah, I have been helpful, clear and objective in my reasoning and have not hurt anyone! :D May Allah (SWT) bless us all, our families and loved ones, guide us all to The Straight Path with His Perfect Guidance, increase our knowledge and Imaan and may He, The Forgiver of Sins and the Oft-Forgiving, forgive all our sins for, verily, there is neither any refuge nor any respite for the sinners, except in Allah (SWT) .
Giving Birth Soon, Any Advice ?
yazahra333 posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalHello dear Sisters ( and Brothers) I am inshlallah giving birth to my second child in less than two weeks. I wonder if you all have good advice, hadith from the Ahle Bayt as, or valuable personal experience that can help me to prepare for Birth?
Baby Girl Names
HassannassaH posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalamun Alaykum brothers and sisters, My wife is expecting our second child, and I have put in many hours thinking of names. The ultrasound shows it may be a girl "most likely". My wife is totally unsure of what to name her, infact she has also thought of many names however she just seems like she is overwhelmed at the moment with the pregnancy so I try and help make suggestions and usually we build from whatever she likes. We named our first child (daughter) Kawthar. So far we have shortened the long list down to a few choices given that my wife is in her 8th month. For arguments sake we have settled on girls names for the time being and if it is a boy we have a few suitable names we like. If our child is a girl we like: 1. BILQIS (The Queen of Sheba) mentioned in the Qur'an in Surah An-Naml 2. YAQEEN meaning certainty, lack of doubt, belief, faith. This choice seems more like a boys name but I wanted to hear input I guess of what everyone thinks. I personally think Yaqeen can be a unisex name like safa or noor. *Let me know what you think about this* 3. IZDIHAR meaning blossoming, derives from Zahra. 4. TASNIM meaning fountain or spring in paradise I Surah Al-Mutaffifin Please let me know what you all think. Also, we are open to suggestions. JazakumAllah Khair. H.
Q. Does this verse legalize Children marriage ?
sakura1994 posted a topic in Social/Family/Personalوَاللَّائِي يَئِسْنَ مِنَ الْمَحِيضِ مِن نِّسَائِكُمْ إِنِ ارْتَبْتُمْ فَعِدَّتُهُنَّ ثَلَاثَةُ أَشْهُرٍ وَاللَّائِي لَمْ يَحِضْنَ ۚ وَأُولَاتُ الْأَحْمَالِ أَجَلُهُنَّ أَن يَضَعْنَ حَمْلَهُنَّ ۚ وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِ يُسْرًا (4) And as for those of your women who have despaired of menstruation, in case you have any suspicion, then their (fixed) spell shall be three months, (along) with those who have not menstruated (as yet). And (as for) those with burden, (i.e., those who are pregnant) their term is when they bring forth their burden; and whoever is pious to Allah, He will make for him, of His Command, easiness.
child The Ayatollah Khomeini’s Book: Sex with Children
rezan posted a topic in Social/Family/Personalassalamu alaykum ... who can tell me is it true that ayatollah khomeini wrote in his book “Tahrirolvasyleh. " following?- A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However, he should not penetrate vaginally, but sodomising the child is acceptable. If a man does penetrate and damage the child then, he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl will not count as one of his four permanent wives and the man will not be eligible to marry the girl’s sister… It is better for a girl to marry at such a time when she would begin menstruation at her husband’s house, rather than her father’s home. Any father marrying his daughter so young will have a permanent place in heaven. ["Tahrirolvasyleh", fourth edition, Qom, Iran, 1990]
My Pregnant Wife Converted To Another Religion
RezaAsadd posted a topic in Jurisprudence/LawsSalam to all my brothers and sisters in faith I have a question about a complicated situation I have and want to know the Islamic laws regarding this. I have been married for 4 years and have a child and another under way. My wife is 5th month pregnant and recently changed her religion from Islam to Bahaism. We have had many arguments but I try to not be so harsh to her since she is pregnant. What is the right decision. Should I divorce her and take my children away (I live in United States), or should I wait until she give birth, so I can talk to her more and have a chance to bring her back from her wrong path? Can I still live with her in the same house? Thanks for your guidance in advance.
Lack Of Morality
Khalilallah posted a topic in Off-TopicFor those who doubt the importance of religion should know that morality is from Allah through his prophets, from Adam to lot to Moses and Mohamed, it is meant to guide us towards a better life and a better society. This is an example of how disgusting and low atheists can go, they have no moral bounds to keep them or anyone safe. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2970362/Ex-policeman-lover-plotted-conceive-baby-abuse-share-paedophiles.html
Islamic Parenting In The West
Ethics posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalLecture by Hossein Al Qazwini. Check out his other lectures here: http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235023615-hossein-al-qazwini-month-of-ramadan-2014-lectures/ Lectures by other lecturers: http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235023507-hassanain-rajabali-month-of-ramadan-2014-lectures/ http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235023617-live-from-karbala-mustafa-al-qazwini-ramadan-2014/ http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235023614-ammar-nakshawani-month-of-ramadan-2014-lectures/
Pregnancy Outside Of Marriage
syeduddin posted a topic in Jurisprudence/LawsMy dear fellow Muslims, i have a question regarding what one should do if one gets a female (Non-Muslim) pregnant outside of marriage (even without Muta).. Does the child need to be aborted? Does the father leave? Is the child raised according to the mothers faith? Do I marry the female? By the way i am only asking because it is a genuine question that i have wondered.
For Every Mother And Child - Poem
amatolah posted a topic in General Islamic DiscussionSalam, A tribute to all mothers... http://www.islamicinsights.com/features/poetry/discourse-between-mother-and-child.html Kind regards!
myouvial posted a topic in Politics/Current EventsNATO is shummum bukmun 'umyun fahum laa yar ji'uun. http://tv.globalresearch.ca/2011/08/make-no-mistake-nato-committed-war-crimes-libya is there anyone to help ?
Recently Browsing 0 members
- No registered users viewing this page.