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Found 32 results

  1. Guest

    What should I do?

    Hi everyone! I need your advice. I`ve been thinhing about divorce. It will be my first divorce and I don`t know which method of divorce will be more convenient and cheap. I have heard a lot about online services and colleagues said about one of this named DivorceFiller . Or I shoud divorce through standart procedure of divorce ? Give me advice , please!
  2. AssalamAlaykum My dear brothers and sisters. This is my absolute first time posting on this website.. and that is because I require some assistance from whoever has a few minutes to help this broken servant of Allah. Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated. I do dua for all us to be able to overcome any hardship that tries and divert us from the beautiful path of the Ahlul Bayt. Elahee Ameen Now to my story. I am a male in my late teens, once a Sunni but now a Shia Alhamdulilah. Just like any Shia, the oppression one faces in this day and age really has an effect on the mentality and maturity of a person.. and I believe alhamdulilah all thanks to the grace of God I would say I am quite mature for my age because of also who I grew up with (i.e my dear dear family who are always very supportive). I have had a very dark period in my life, which I am forever regretful for. However, this Muharam has flipped me in terms of belief and character almost 180 degrees. I feel energetic, blessed and helped by Allah, and honestly I would never imagine to leave this feeling. This has all happened because I finally made the intention to change as a person, and Alhamdulilah I feel so much closer to my Lord during this most blessed month. Now to the main part. Spiritually and mentally I believe it is getting closer for me to get to know someone for marriage inshaAllah. I recently joined education again and I have met this sister who honestly blew my mind with her character. We talked for hours about all sorts of topics, to the challenges of life to Marriage to Islam etc. After this conversation I feared her opinion would change of me since I am a Shia, but Alhamdulilah she was very very understanding. I got to talk about the oppression Shias face on a day to day basis and she repeatedly apologised for their actions. She is a Sunni so obviously there would be a few differences to belief but I told her to never ever blind follow her faith and sit down and ponder over what she has been taught. We really dove deep in the topic of marriage, like for example how important it is to talk about the deeper topics when people are getting to know each other, i.e children, who the breadwinnner is etc. Straight away from that conversation I knew that she was different compared to a lot of the sisters out there who in my opinion are still immature for marriage regardless of the age. She doesnt have social media, like me, which again shocked me. She is however a few years older than me, but after our conversation she openly said how much mature I was for my age and how she felt that I sound like her dad in terms of advice given on life. I asked if that was a good thing and she said of course .. (made me chuckle inside then). Now to a few very very interesting points. On the same day I talk to this girl about marriage, the Sheikh giving the lecture at mosque does a WHOLE lecture on early marriage and its beneifts. I was truly amazed to the power of God and how easy it was to plan something so complex like this. This made me think. But it gets better. So fast forward a day later, I listen to a lecture online (since I had to babysit my younger brother since the whole family went mosque) about Hazrat Ali Akbar and this one put me in tears. I was alone at home so I was able to really cry my eyes out. After the lecture I faced the Qiblah and cried my eyes and reflected on my bad deeds and how much it meant to me that Gods' communication with me was so crucial. I talked to God for a long time and honestly I have not feel so blessed in such a long time. Now then brothers and sisters is where it takes another level. A thought comes into mind, and I suddenly think of doing istikhara on this whole matter! Whether it would be wise to go ahead with all this or not. So I read a method on how to do Quranic Istikhara and my heart suddenly starts beating faster since I have never ever performed such a thing, so it was entering a new territory. I open the Quran SUBHANALLAH the first verse I see is Surah Maryam Verse 58. It goes and continues to something like this ".....and of those whom We guided and chose; when the communications of the Beneficent Allah were recited to them, they fell down making obeisance and weeping." And honestly, at that point it just got me even more. Tears uncontrollably rolling down and I just do Shukr that I feel so close to God after such a bad period of my life. Now brothers and sisters. Of course your advice would be soo appreciated on this matter. Please be as open as you want to me since I would like realistic advice. I know that love can be blinding, but I dont want it to go that far, especially in Muharam. JazakAllah Khair
  3. Hello all, I am a female going to Karbala and Najaf for the first time from the USA. I was wondering if someone would be able to answer some of my questions. It will greatly be appreciated. Thanks: 1) I know that makeup is not allowed. But what about eyelash extensions? These are fake individual lashes that are placed on your real lashes. They look natural. I just don't want anyone giving me a hard time for having them. 2) I am going to be on my menstrual cycle. Is there any advice regarding this? 3) Any other advice will greatly be appreciated. Thank-you.
  4. Asalamalakum Brothers and Sister, I was married to a Sunni man in my very early 20's however we did separate two years after due to a variety of issues. I am happy to say i have spent a number of years happily single raising my two children. I have had offers for marriage but i was not interested therefore declined all of them. However I did meet someone by chance and we are engaged and i am very much in love and very excited to spend our lives together. This being my second marriage I want to make my own conditions for the Nikah contract, my previous contract was done via my father and it took me 2 years in court to actually be able to Divorce because the way the contract was drawn up and i received no Mahr at all and still receive no financial help for my two children because I am raising them Shia and he does not approve or support this. Mahr for me isn't very important, this is a real love thing, but i do want to be smart about the conditions, My future husband is from Qatif, Saudi Arabia. He has never been married before, and he does plan to eventually move us all from Canada (where i was born and raised) to Saudi Arabia to live and manage businesses. I want to make sure i am protected and am still able to attend university again if i wish or work. I do not accept a second wife so i want to include that as well, and i want to make sure i am still able to travel freely with my two children and any children he and i have with out having to receive his "permission" (as far as i know i would require that) in order to fly from Saudi Arabia. I am asking you all to help me make conditions you might think are important or beneficial for my Nikah contract. Thanks
  5. As-Salaam-Alaikum I was wondering if it is haram to get a nose job to fix my crooked nose as i got into a car accident in the past. It's making me very self conscious and anxious.
  6. Salaam. I am a Syed Shia girl. I have met a very pious Syed man, but he is from the Ahmadiyya community. He does not agree with all their views and he accepts, understands and is leaning towards Shiism. However he is officially ahmadi and takes part in all their activities. When I explain about Shiism to him, he respects it and even wishes to take part in Majalis, Azadari etc. He is a very kind person, and respects me very much and is exactly what I'd want in a future partner and I'm afraid I won't find it again. I believe he would convert if it was not for family pressure and fear of hurting his parents. I understand that their views are completely against ours, but what would your religious opinion be on this. And what if he converts to Shiism? Would it be wrong as it may seem he chose it for me and not for the right path? Please advise. Kind regards.
  7. Guest

    Confused About Family Issues

    Need advice. I'm a 20 year old girl from Pennsylvania. Currently working on my Poli Sci degree, I have about 2 years left but I dont think Ill make it that long. I dont think I cant handle living with my family anymore. I am really sick and tired of my life style here. They disrespect me constantly, dislike me, think im a [Edited Out] (mind you ive never done anything behind their backs or been with any guy), their always fighting even for the simplest thing. This lifestyle is so toxic, I am literally so exhausted from my life they make me HATE it. I understand they been through alot of [Edited Out], but that doesn't give them the right to make my life a living hell and make my life horrible just because theirs was. They are tempered and angry and I cant even have a civilized conversation with them because of how tempered and disrespectful they are. There is absolutely no trust between us, mostly because I have an older sister who made some mistakes when she was younger and now my parents dislike/distrust me because of her. I cant do anything they are so strict and im getting fed up. I literally cant even study in a library on campus to long. One time I got accused of not being a virgin because I was hanging with my two friends ( there was no guys, we were just chillin by the river) in the forest of our campus. I have tried alot with them but at this point I dont give a damn about anyone in my family anymore. This year I really distanced myself from my parents, I understand islam teaches us to love and keep contact with our parents, but I cannot see a future with such toxic disgusting hateful people. If they were respectful, and treated me better, and trusted me I would do anything for them and stay. But my younger brother who is 4 years old, gets more respect than me. its unbelievable. This is not a life worth living, constantly being told what to do and im 20, no trust no respect nothing and I am SICK and tired of being called a [Edited Out] and [Edited Out] they tried to mentally [Edited Out] with my mind and try to make me believe im crazy and im a [Edited Out] finally after all this time i realized its THEM they are toxic and just like cancer I need to cut them out before it kills me. I want to completely leave and start a new life, leave behind all the bad memories. Do you think it will eventually backfire on me if I just up and leave suddenly one day without telling them? I hate saying it but its come to the point where I literally cannot stand them, I spend almost every night crying for hours wishing for death- literally thats all Ive been praying for since I was younger. The only thing that stopped me from leaving years ago was my baby brothers I love them so much. I dont understand my "parents", what hurts me most is they dont even realize how much pain they caused, not once do they own up to problems or admit their wrong. They dont act their age and take responsibility for problems instead they blame it on us just like how they blamed my sisters mistake on me when i was only 14. And another thing that hurts me is how my mother goes against me when I stand up for her when my dad gets angry, because I am a girl, they are soooooooooo sexist constantly cursing girls saying we should die. So what do I do, I havent gotten any sleep these past few weeks, they literally, LITERALLY make me so sad sometimes I cant even function. Should I leave now or should I wait till I graduate. Should I just up and leave one day or should I attempt to leave on good terms. As I said before, I love my family but I cant live like this anymore they are like a cancer.
  8. Guest

    SOOTHSAYER ADVICE

    I FEEL THE NEED TO CONTACT A SOOTHSAYER IS IT BAD? WHAT ARE ITS CONSEQUENCES?
  9. I am at an important juncture of my life and need advice regarding which way to go. As Imams (a.s.) have told us to consult our momins brothers in moments of confusion, so um here. I am 28 and doing a good prestigious job in a muslim country. After a lot of thinking I realized if I want real price for my life and if something is really worth achieving in life and if I want to live with the best people after the Imams, then I should join a Hauza Ilmia. In my country I have the option of appearing in competitive exams and I am confident I can get a really powerful govt.administrative job. This job is not only full of glamour of power but I perhaps may be able to help someone. But then I fear that I shall become and shall be forced to become the part of the corrupt system. I shall start taking bribes and live luxorios life. Even if I remain honest, and say I am responsible for the administration of an area, shall I be able to check all the haram being done under my authority without my knowledge.Shall I be questioned about it on the day of judgement. Summary: Should I go to Hauza for spiritual life or Take a powerfull administrative job in a muslim country that really corrupt and run by a system that is not fully Islamic.
  10. Salaam, I was fortunate enough to have a mentor when I started my professional life. I went to him a couple of times with some work problems and he said, "(ShiaMan) - don't come to me with problems; come to me with solutions. When you come to me with problems, after a couple of times I will cringe every time I see you because I will automatically think you have a problem. But you come to me with a solutions to problem, all of a sudden you become the answer guy or the guy who solves problems, not creates them" This was the best, professional advice I received and it really works. What's the best business/professional advice you've received?
  11. As salaam alaikum. I know of some women that apply henna to their nails. I was wondering is it haram? Can you still pray/ make wudhu with henna on your nails? I've had a browse online about this matter but haven't really found anything on this topic. Any advice/ knowledge would be much appreciated as I'd like to apply some to my nails but I want to make sure it's permissible first. JazakAllah in advance.
  12. Salaam all, All the women on ShiaChat - what would be the one advice you would give to a BROTHER who is about to get married? All the men on ShiaChat - what would be the one advice you would give to a SISTER who is about to get married? Advice can be related to religion or not.
  13. My boy would be marry soon in next few months. Could shiachat members give an advice about marriage's advice to both the bride (man and woman), both of each of their parents, brothers/sisters, uncles/aunty (Books/articles/fatwa or anything which is about advice/tawashaw/nasihat is ok). And also the tradition of the prophet when he (sawa) marry his (sawa) daughter to Imam Ali a.s. I am pursuing from al-islam.org and got some of pdf file. Thank you in advance.
  14. emotional video... This is a good, short video to watch to all converts, to Islam or Christianity or any religion, about how to deal with parents that may not have found truth. It's message can be portrayed generally and I feel like it is important for converts to know that Allah guides whom he wills.
  15. Assalamu 3alaykum. On the basis that there is dream interpretation by Imam Jaffar al Sadiq (As) as well as there being real dreams (in exclusion to nafsi and shaytanic inspired dreams) if you are pure when Allah Swt raises the souls when we are sleeping (As mentioned in the Holy Quran), Is there a specific dua one can make to rely on Allah Swt to see a dream for guidance, the Imams (As), the Prophet (Sawa), a hint of the future or something symbolic? I personally have heard of experiences where people have had dreams that ended up being something true or two people having the same or similar dream of something that potentionally had meaning. JazakAllah kheir.
  16. Bismehe Ta3ala, Assalam Alikum. I started to cook meals 8 years ago. Eight years later, I have improved Alhamd'Allah, but still I have a lot of learning to do. I am considered a plain cooker. There are some meals I make that are delicious, and then others are just eatable. Nothing wow, about what I cook. What does it take to have the "touch" in cooking? Alhamd'Allah my children don't complain, they are wonderful and eat what I cook and do not give me a hard time. My dh, he is very considerate and doesn't make any complaints, that is his akhlaq and he doesn't like to hurt me with complaining if the food is not up to par. I need help to stop being the average cooker and want to put a smile on my dh's face when he eats. What can I do to improve my cooking? Typically, I make Lebanese food. What is the secret in mastering cooking? I try my utmost for the food to be healthy. I think that is why the meals are plain is because I try to give my children healthy food and not let them get used to easy, fried, greasy food. Another thing is cooking is not my 'joy' but more of a chore. Something I need to do and get it out of the way. I'm being very honest, because I would like help in making more delicious meals for my dh. What people have told me before about cooking: -play around with the spices -know how to use the fire well -slow cook the food -understand the texture of the food and when to put one type of ingredient before the other -get fresh ingredients What else can I do or how can I learn to be a better cook? Thank you for your time and help. M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah
  17. Assalam o alaikum Dear Brothers and Sisters, These are testing times and i need some true advice (through quran and hadith) on how to manage emotions. People may advice on seeking professional help with this. However, i believe that people in the times of our Holy Prophet (SAWW) and our Aimma must have had such issues. This is the reason why i want some advice based on these sources. The issue at hand is overall emotional health. How can one be emotionally fit and how can one keep one's thought process in control. What does Allah and His selected few say about the right course of action in this regard? Jazakallah Kayr un Katheera
  18. Salam This thread is dedicated to Sayyid Khomeini's speeches, letters and sayings. I will be posting some of the interesting parts of a series of books called "Imam's Sahifah" which contains nearly all of what the great Sayyid has said or written in response to different issues, God willing. I also thank @Repenter for this. You can find the entire series here. Simply search for "Sahifeh" in that website. http://en.imam-khomeini.ir/en/page/127/BOOK-LIBRARY/?kind=167&action=qs&txt=sahifeh With that said, let me begin: Religious minorities under the protection of Islam From one direction we are faced with multifarious propaganda. Propagandists both in Iran and abroad are using the issue of religious minorities in Iran to create the distorted view that were an Islamic government established in Iran, then all minority religions would be swept away. Do you (addressing the Shah) treat religious minorities better or does Islam? You are trampling both the minority religions and the majority religion underfoot and are destroying them! You have eliminated all human rights in Iran. You have allowed neither Muslims nor non-Muslims to be free. In Islam, however, the religious minorities are shown respect, they are free. Yet we are repeatedly asked the same question: “If an Islamic government were established (in Iran), how would it treat the religious minorities?” They ask this question because they are constantly instilled with the idea that in the event of an Islamic government being set up in Iran, all the Jews or all the Christians or Zoroastrians would be murdered. At what period in Islamic history did an Islamic country during peacetime—I am not speaking of a country at war here—massacre its religious minorities or murder people from minority religions. Hadrat Amir (Imam Ali) wanted to die of shame when a Jewish woman, a dhimmi, who was living under the shelter of Islam, had her anklet stolen while he was ruler. He said: “If a person were to die in such circumstances, it would be worth it.” Is then Islam or an Islamic government going to do the things they say it will do to those of religious minorities? This is all propaganda created by the Shah and his supporters and trumpeted over their loudspeakers to tarnish the image of Islam and Islamic government and sully the reputation of the Muslim clergy—at least in the eyes of those non-Muslims and non- religious people outside Iran. They promote the idea that they (the clergymen) want to have a reactionary government, a reactionary Islamic government! This man himself portrays Islam as being reactionary. On the one hand he invokes “the true religion of Islam” and on the other he says that those who preach Islam to the people are reactionaries! They are reactionary in that they have gone back one thousand four hundred years! They propagate something which belongs to one thousand four hundred years ago. The fact that he himself is reviving something which belongs to two thousand five hundred years ago is irrelevant! He is not considered to be a reactionary, only those who are promoting progressive laws from one thousand four hundred years ago, those who say that this man should be delivered a blow in the mouth for depriving the people of freedom, for establishing foreign rule in Iran and placing the people under the rule of the superpowers, are considered to be the reactionaries! While those who are stealing the wealth of the people through force and suppression, those who have deprived the people of freedom, they are seen to be the civilized ones who open the gates of freedom!
  19. Hameedeh

    Random Advice

    What occupies your mind can eventually influence your actions, so fill your mind with things that are clean, pure, and wholesome.
  20. Hello Sisters, I am designing a modest dress for formal occasions and I was wondering what you believe makes a dress 'modest'?Of course covering everything but the face and hands, but what else? for instance: not being tight, hijab covers the chest etc. Your advice is much appreciated! :-)
  21. As-salamu 'alaikum! I have been unemployed for awhile and pondering returning to the place I worked before I reverted to Islam insha'Allah as a groundsman. For those who don't know, a groundsman is responsible for general labor during tree-removal/pruning operations and handles everything on the ground including cutting and chipping branches and loading logs into dump trucks for sale as firewood. It's work I have years of experience doing and it would help get me back on my feet insha'Allah but I have been hesitant to start back there for two reasons: first, I heard from no source in particular that cutting trees is haraam, and second, some of my fellow crew-members were a bit...intolerant...of other view-points, so to be honest I've been apprehensive about working with them again. Any advice would be wonderful insha'Allah! Would anyone recommend returning? If so, would it be wrong for me to just remain quiet about my being a Muslim, or should I be open and unapologetic? By that I don't mean confrontational, but rather, honest? Thanks to all answerers for your time!
  22. I started wearing hijab seven days ago and I have been getting more male attention than usual when away from my husband, and I don't know what to do. Naturally my husband is unhappy with the attention, and I'm concerned too. He thinks maybe I'm not conducting myself properly but my hair isn't showing, my arms aren't showing, my legs aren't showing, my neck isn't showing, I'm not wearing makeup, I'm not cussing, I'm not being obnoxious, and I'm not engaging strangers. I keep to myself when I'm by myself, and if anything my eyes are usually on my phone. I'm thinking about taking the scarf off and just dressing modestly, if its just going to get me all this attention. I dont know. Maybe I'm just not ready. Does anyone have any advice? Please help. This is really upsetting to me.
  23. (bismillah) (wasalam) InshAllah you are well. I had been noticing a new divorce "trend" that has been seemingly augmenting among muslim communities recently. Divorce (Talaq) is one of the worst and hated halals that exists in Islam, but being the most realistic religion, Islam accepts divorce as a reality in certain social circumstances. How divorce's existence, or nonexistence, affects society as a whole is a different topic. But my question is, are we justifying too many 'silly' circumstances that are out of our comfort zone to mandate divorce? We all have flaws and only through genuine prayer and jihad of nafs do we allow ourselves to grow spiritually. I understand that it's easier said than done but whether from experience or by other means, what do you personally think are some of the most common reasons for divorce, how should they be avoided? Some reasons that I could think of from the top of my head (not in any specific order): 1.Spouses not educated about their Islamic responsibilities/rights in a marriage 2.Not aiming to live a God based marriage 3.Education and social prestige are prioritized over motherhood and responsibilities of a wife 4.Lack of forgiveness 5.There is a lot of blaming rather than self reflection 6.Lack of kindness 7.There is a lot of family meddling without proper management of the spouses 8.Lack of trust 9.Lack of attention and respect to the spouses interests --- (can translate to individuals 'worth' in the eyes of the spouse) Please feel free to add to the list, any relevant contribution helps inshAllah! jazakAllah khairan, mysterious secrets
  24. (bismillah) (salam) inshAllah you are well. I've noticed that sometimes its difficult to get an honest answer from couples you know personally because, let's face it, very few people want to reveal personal details about their lives (which is completely sane!) and the usual advice shared seems pretty general, so I thought a forum could potentially give some 'privacy.' I'd like to use your experience to attain a bigger picture of marriage. Without revealing too much about your personal lives, as a married individual, what kind of experienced advice can you give non married brother/sisters in making one of the most important decisions in their lives, marriage? For example, realistically speaking, what attributes in your spouse/yourself seem to be main character players in your marriage, and what seem to be of less importance that you once thought was important? Should you go checking down a checklist or do you advise developing some sort of halal 'feelings/attachements' before hand? Please mention your gender to enable us to have a more complete picture of your advice. Your help is greatly appreciate and may Allah swt reward you for your efforts inshAllah! jazakAllah khairan, mysterious secrets
  25. Sallam Brothers In London there are free legal advice centres called law clinics. I personally work in the University of East London law clinic. If you need legal advice come visit us, it is all free. All the advice given to clients are also checked by qualified solicitors so that it is not misleading. It is all free, we even give you cookies and juice if you come. the UEL one isn't the only one in UK though, there are many other ones spread over London and the UK so please check where the closest one to you is.
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