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Found 19 results

  1. Assalamu Alaikum to all. I reverted to Shia Islam in my late teenage years but I'm now only realizing now at the age of 30 how lost I've actually really been with my faith & life throughout those years. I don't think I realized when accepting at that time the heaviness & the seriousness of my responsibilities towards actually really knowing God, His Attributes & worshipping Him properly, with either real understanding or sincerity of the heart. I feel I've just lived a life so far of shallowness & insincerity towards God & Religion overall & it causes me such extreme fear, grief & sadness everyday. Since a very young age I've suffered with an array of various psychological issues which were not treated properly at the time due to factors such as probably genetics, my upbringing & social environment I was in. Forgive me, as I don't know how to articulate & explain my situation in concise manner & detail. I'm very ashamed to admit I haven't really done obligatory prayers, made duas, followed or understood the laws within Islam in that lifetime properly. One of the main reasons is due to a very torturous & unique perfectionism personality disorder which has affected my overall life & it has affected me from actually reaching my potential or achieving any type of success in life, whether that be in a career, education, job or relationships with others. It's such a psychological condition that it makes me give up on everything if I don't live or do something perfectly or in order & affects every aspect of my life, it's very difficult to explain but it's such a mental torture, as it just wastes my years & I end up just living a purposeless life, I just can't control it. I also throughout my life have suffered constant anxiety, particularly social anxiety, depression & other conditions undiagnosed conditions aswell. This condition has affected me from seriously reading, studying, learning & practicing my faith properly & developing any real connection with God, Qur'an & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). I have some little knowledge of my faith due to watching many lectures over the years from various speakers/scholars but I feel completely confused & lost. I've been living on my own all these years but I've been in denial about some of my mental health issues & I have sinned & transgressed personally aswell such that I fear I am being punished in this life & the next. I've also neglected reading & reciting Quran for so long, not because I didn't want too but my condition is such but I've also been ignorant aswell & I lack the knowledge & wisdom or is my heart hard not receiving truth or guidance due to my sinning & ignorance..I just don't know if I'm sincere or not. My heart feels very tight when I'm trying to approach & read Quran & I get constant blasphemous/negative, insincere thoughts, thoughts of Quran not being the words of God or true & that you don't believe it & is this really from God. I feel deep down in my heart & soul that Islam, Quran & the personalities of Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) is the truth but my faith foundations are weak & I fear I've gone completely astray. I fear my beliefs being shallow & insincere, as I feel constant tightness when trying to get close to God & I'm always trying to speak to Him in my own way but I don't feel anything which pains me so much. I feel my life has no purpose without God & doing any good deeds or setting any goals in life is meaningless without doing them for the sake of God. I don't want to do good for myself, I just want to know & please God, to really have firm belief in Him & love for Him in my heart but I just don't know anymore, my chest & heart feels very tight. I feel my life is wasted & I constantly just think about death, grave & eternal punishment. I feel I've been shallow, insincere & not really praised towards God sincerely because I don't really know Him as I should. I felt a connection to God when I first reverted to Islam through knowing Prophet Muhammad(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) & Imam Hussain((عليه السلام)) but now I don't feel anything at all & it pains me so much. I don't even know what I am anymore. I fear because I forgot Allah for so long that he made me forget my own self. I really want to follow & understand Islam properly but I fear not having the mental capacity & God not guiding me & leaving me astray to live & die like this because of how much I've done wrong to my own self/soul due to excessive sinning/transgressions & not fulfilling obligations over so many years. I have some family members like my mother who is very loving & supportive but they are non Muslims & whatever they say can't help me because I just want to know Allah but I fear my heart is too hard now & that I connect to Him, Quran & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) due to these issues. I fear I'm not humble, grateful & not completely surrendering myself sincerely towards God because I'm so caught up in my own head & unbalanced psychologically. I didn't remember or have trust in Him for so many years, I feel I lack the faith, knowledge, wisdom & emotional/mental capacity to comprehend & understand Quran. I'm only able to read Quran in English language which is limiting & I read it & I don't feel connected to God which makes me have extreme fear, then when I'm reading certain stories I get thoughts in my mind & heart that this isn't God's word, which really pains me because I seek that belief & guidance from Quran. I know only a few Shia Muslim brothers but we aren't that close, we live apart & they are older than myself & they have careers, work, families & productive lives unlike me. I hardly keep in touch with them because I'm ashamed of who I am. I just seek guidance from God, as I don't want anything else in life but at the same time I suffer psychologically. I've been trying to pray the daily prayers for the past year consistently but it's becoming too difficult for me now due to the psychological state I'm in & I just don't feel I'm being humble or sincere in belief & worship towards God...it absolutely kills me but I just can't pray when I'm in this state of mind but then I get more intense anxiety for missing so many prayers. I live on my own & I cry nearly everyday for months now calling out to God for help & guidance but I feel he doesn't want me because of how arrogant, ignorant, shallow & insincere I've been over the years towards Him or maybe I just don't really know Him. I've done wrong to myself but some things I just can't do or control psychologically & it frustrates me so much. I feel mentally & physically fatigued everyday. I cannot eat, drink or sleep properly. I don't want to live & die in this state. I don't want to die as a disbeliever, hypocrite, sinner or a wrongdoer but what can I do if I can't connect or be guided to Allah, Qur'an or Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). It's all becoming so overwhelming for me now. I watch many inspiring lectures from various speakers & scholars but it's one thing being inspired/motivated by their words relating to Allah, Quran & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) & then you yourself having that firm belief & understanding to implement these teachings in your life & being on your own for over a decade. Forgive me if I haven't made much sense in what I've wrote but as you can probably tell by my post I'm just mentally not in a good state & I don't want to lose this life & the next life but I fear I've completely lost myself, my faith & knowing & having firm belief in the religion of Islam but my intention is not too lose it or not to know the truth before death overtakes me. I don't know where to turn anymore. I always like to go outside for walks by myself & I'm always trying to ponder & reflecting on the creations & signs of God around me to try & know Him, whether it be looking into the the sky during the day or at night, observing the Sun, the Moon & Stars, looking at the sea, looking on at the various birds, creatures insects, flowers & plants etc but for some reason I still can't seem to connect to or feel God's presence. I also seek that feeling of opening & listening Qur'an & knowing this is for sure revelation from Allah, I don't know if I'm just telling or forcing myself out of fear, as I get intense anxiety in my head & chest when I try to read the Quran, I just don't want to be insincere in belief, as I just seek guidance in my life because I don't want to waste more years & lose forever in the hearafter for not being sincere & submissive in belief towards God, The Qur'an, The Holy Prophet(s.aw) & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). I just really seek to live a fulfilling life in believing & serving God sincerely & actually live & die with firm faith in the heart but I fear God doesn't want to guide me or is He guiding & I'm I not accepting his guidance...I just don't know. Thank you for taking the time to read this post & God bless.
  2. Salam alaikum At the moment we've heard about the news of USA overturning Roe Wade and has brought the discussion in abortion once again in the Muslim community. Ofc me being a Shia Muslim I took asked my family, Marja and even Reddit for the rulings. My Marja being Sistani, he ofc said that abortion isn't allowed except if the woman's pregnancy becomes dangerous. Meaning that even for cases such as rape, incest and deformities it's not allowed to get an abortion before 120 days. I asked it once again on Reddit and the responses seemed to agree with Sistani easily and instead argued that the 'child' isn't in fault for the woman being raped etc. Needless to say I was disturbed that these people on Reddit and even marja's like Sistani didn't seem to understand why rape victims out of everyone should get the right to abort the fetus. This whole topic made me therefore rethink about my beliefs and how much my own morals go against Islam and how much I began to dislike marja's like Sistani (despite the fact I find him the most knowledgeable) who don't seem to get mental health and how people like me who dread the thought of pregnancy let alone carrying a fetus that is deformed or a product of rape. I've read that it's mostly Sunni's that allow such abortions to take place before 120 days, but me being born a Shia these rulings unfortunately don't apply to me. Mind you I have autism and some things for me require a lot of mental strength and energy to do something. Not to mention that I see social constructs differently then most people (especially me being in a Iraqi/Iranians household). Plus the fact that Sistani states that life begins at conception, meaning the fertilized ovium. I just can't comprehend all of that, cause all I imagine is a clump of cells instead of a person?? And I feel like I'd be sinning if I wanted to get an abortion to abort a deformed a rape baby even though I know very well I'll probably develop suicidal thoughts cause I wouldn't be able to handle such baby. I would honestly see this more as a burden than a blessing. In a nutcase, I have a lot of doubts about abortion in our religion and the scholars don't convince me after trying hard to understand these rulings without thinking to myself if they actually take women like me and their feelings and mental health into consideration. I didn't really have a question but I didn't know where else I could say this safely other than Reddit. I feel like I'm going against my religion but I simultaneously know what is best for me if I were to be in this situation. Not to mention that I feel morally more towards being pro-choice than pro-life. Instead I'll just ask these questions in order to give my rant some sort of educational purpose for myself and others like me: 1. Would it be permissible for a person like me to get an abortion for a deformed or rape baby if it caused me immense difficulty mentally? 2. Am I going against Islam if I were to not agree with my Marja because of doubt or feeling uncomfortable with the fatwa? 3. How does kaffare work if a non muslim doctor were to help me abort a fetus? Who should pay the kaffare? 4. People state that women instead of aborting their babies give their babies up for adoption or put into foster care. But I live in the Netherlands and there arent many Shia people here, then what? And wouldn't it be a burden to sacrifice my body and metal health to carry a baby I wouldn't want and just give it away and just feel more guilty about it afterwards? 6. I'll also post a link of pictures to ask the following question: how much of this is does it also apply in our beliefs?
  3. Aoa Everyone, I was wondering how do the Ayaat of Surah Mujadilah apply to the lives of Muslims in this time and age. I was personally interpreting it as the fact that thihar were words used by the man to divorce his wife in the pre Islamic era, when in fact he would not divorce her but come around later and act as if nothing happened, and so it does not mean those words have to be the ones used by Hazrat Khawla's husband, but instead they can be placed in the context of todays world, where as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has stated that they do not mean that actually she has become like a mothers back to him, but now for the mental torture and his lack of control on his tongue he must make atonement, which is then further described by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Can anyone link what other scholar have to say about these ayats? Esp sistani and ghamdi? or is there a way to contact them, leave these questions for them? I will be honest, I am asking in reference to a personal situation. My father told my mother in our language (urdu) that 'mai tumhay farigh karta hun' (in an insullting tone saying i set you free (as if you are a characterless person who cannot be restrained)) and 'tumhay ab mai ghar se nikalta hun' (i am going to kick you out of the house). on other occasions he has used the words that now our relationship is finished. could these ayaat be applied in these lights? this is not just a one time anger issue, this is nearly ever week of my life the past 20 years, consistent mental abuse, just like with Hazrat Khawla RA. The above mentioned are two people i could talk to my father with reference to and he'd be willing to listen, he is the kind of person who goes back on his own words just to be always always, always right. no matter what he has to do to seem right. The Surah (1-4): 1. Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah . And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. 2. Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives – they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. 3. And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said – then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. 4. And he who does not find [a slave] – then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable – then the feeding of sixty poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His Messenger; and those are the limits [set by] Allah . And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.
  4. Salam everyone. i have generalised anxiety disorder with underlining depression. As I get older, I can feel it getting worse & worse.. lately I could not do the simplest task like driving or studying. I was wondering if there’s anything religious that can help my mental health? A Shia book maybe? Anything suggestions will help
  5. I am 20 yrs old and I have got a late diagnosis as an adult of autism. I struggle with verbal and non-verbal communication, keeping conversations going (small talk) , making friends and I'm usually very silent and isolated. When meeting guests and people I usually just give greetings then go very silent or very occasionally say something. Especially since I have trouble keeping up with conversations, processing everything and even understanding the banter/humor. I can come off as aloof, odd or even rude. How much am I held accountable for my akhlaq, not having friendships, not giving the best social impression etc. I always read hadith like this.... "Unfortunate is he who cannot gain a few sincere friends during his life and more unfortunate is the one who has gained them and then lost them (through his deeds)." ALI IBN ABI TALIB ((عليه السلام)) Would it be wrong for me to not want to ever meet guests and stay in my room instead?
  6. As-salamunalaikum, I was wondering what people think about the moral traits, behaviour, akhlaq, of a person (male and female) towards other people in general life, IN THIS GENERATION. How do you think one should be with other people (Muslim and non-Muslim)? What moral traits and characteristics do you think are a MUST in this generation towards other people, and why? What kind of a person are you when you are alone, and what kind of a person are you when you are around other people? If there is a difference, then why is that so? How do you react when people judge you based on your traits? What traits and lessons have you adopted from the teachings of Islam and the Ahlulbayt? What do you do when you see someone constantly scared from judgement from others? How would you help them? How would you help a depressed person? - OR - How do you deal with your own depression? How do you deal with anxiety and nervousness? Especially, when around other people? What keeps you grounded to your roots? What is your idea of tawakkul? What is your idea of a happy and satisfying life? What are things that give you happiness? What satisfies you? What advice would you give to your fellow people about these traits and life in general? I'm really hoping to get some answers for these questions, since I think they'll be beneficial for others as much as for me. So kindly try your best to answer at least a few or all of them, if possible. Jazakallah Khair Wa-assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullah
  7. It's been well over a year since I last posted here. In that time a lot has happened, but I'm now closer to Islam than ever before, because my life fell apart and religion is now one of the only things I have to cling to for comfort. I've had a taste of the experience of so many Muslims in America (and I am not Muslim), and it broke me in half as a person, completely changing my life and what I thought about myself, who I was, what the point of my life was, etc etc et al. Whatever you've heard about me in the media is an absolute bald faced lie, I can promise you that.
  8. Al salamu aleikum brothers and sisters, I am male, 19 and live in a western country. Ever since I have become 16 my family father and my grandmother started to try to get me married. Now it hit a new level tho. My family threatened to not let me go to university if I don't get married. I can understand that they are worried about me and that they just want to protect me from sinning, which is a reasonable thing to do. Especially in a western society where all the women are half naked etc. But my problem is that I personally don't feel like I am in a position to marry. I suffer from depression and have been involuntarly hospitalized in the past. But my parents act like it never happened. I also suffer from social anxiety, low self esteem and I also have trust issues. Also I'm not happy with my current life situation and want to make big changes before I consider marriage. (like working out, improving my mental health, earning money and start studying ) But my parents are very stubborn or strict about it. Also it feels kind wierd to just ask for the hand of someone you don't really know. Especially in western society. And yes I do sometimes feel lonely or get certain urges but I have learned to suppress them. Its not about me being against the concept of marriage but rather me not feeling ready for it. I have tried to make this clearer to my parents but to them it's just some random excuse. Can anyone help me with this situation. Anyone have an idea of what to do or to say to my parents. Am I even in the right or should I just oblige to my parents will? I'm really not sure what to do anymore. Thanks in advance <3
  9. I have long been at a point with my AvPD (avoidant personality disorder) that I have not attended Jumah for months on end. I avoid praying in mosques at all costs unless I know I will literally miss the previous prayer time. For anyone that suffers from social anxiety, or just anxiety in general, how do you bring yourself to go to mosque? How do you manage to go out and not feel like a thousand eyes are burning into your skin? I can't even see myself going to Eid prayer. Any help would be appreciated.
  10. How Mosques are dealing with Muslim Mental Health Issues This is a link to a very good article which touches upon how Mosques in the U.S. are addressing and dealing with Mental Health issues amongst their members. Its provides some great details about how the Ummah here is moving past the old stigmas and embracing them with the proper relevance and weight that the situations require. It provides some great links to resources and organizations that are there to help.
  11. Salam alaykum i pray you are all well. I would like to know if there are any members on here with experience in clinical psychology or mental health. I am currently finishing up a ba in psychology and I'm not sure whether I should go for clinical psychology or mental health for my masters. I am also very passionate about something related to a health career - like nursing. So I was wondering if I should do my masters in either of these and then go for a health one? I don't have all of the classes required for that but I have about half so I would need to take those first as well. What do you guys think?Thank you so much in advance for your advice!
  12. As we know there are different types of stresses. Some stress may be healthy as it kicks in to protect us in times of need and and gives us a sense of focus when we're about to take a test or deliver a presentation. It gives us that motivation we need to rise to the occassion and in times of emergency can actually save our lives. Moreoever, there is also a type of stress that is harmful, it can cause mental, emotional and even physical pain, It can cause our body to overreact in certain situations which undoubtedly causes a range of psychological issues such a depression, anxiety and even physical problems such as IBS or weight fluctuation. My question is, how do you de-stress and how do you identify your stress triggers? We all have times when our mind/body tells us its all getting overwhelming, so what do you do to cope in those situations? I'll start.... so I make sure that i take time off work every now and especially if I have a lot happening (work, studies, family). I also love getting pampered (massages, facials etc) as I feel they help me to relax and I also exercise and meditate. Of course I find praying and listening to Quran really soothing as well. There are other things but I won't make the list too long, would like to hear from you guys!
  13. Employee who took sick days for mental health gets unexpected response from CEO Published July 11, 2017 A CEO's reply to an employee's mental health email went viral. (BrianAJackson) A Michigan CEO’s reply to his employee’s sick day email has gone viral. Madalyn Parker, a web developer at Olark Live Chat, emailed her colleagues at the end of June to let them know she’d be taking two days off to focus on her mental health. “Hopefully I’ll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%” Parker wrote in the email. In an unexpected turn of events, CEO Ben Congleton replied directly to Parker, thanking her for shining a light on mental health. “I use (your email) as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health – I can’t believe this is not standard practice at all organizations,” Congleton wrote. “You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work.” Parker went on to share screengrabs of the email exchange on Twitter. The tweet, posted on June 30, has since been retweeted more than 11,000 times as of Tuesday. Congleton was praised by some Twitter users for the refreshing response. “Great to see such understanding from executive management,” one Twitter user wrote. The CEO took the email exchange a step further, writing about mental health in the workplace on Medium. He urged other company leaders to “empower and motivate” their teams by “expressing gratitude” to their employees and reflecting on their business values. One in five adults in the United States experiences mental illness every year, according to the National Alliance of Mental Illness. http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/07/11/employee-who-took-sick-days-for-mental-health-gets-unexpected-response-from-ceo.html
  14. Last year we were discussing ways of improving SC. Haydar Hussein and l had a spar at Bradley Manning's pardon in General Discussions. This gave me a thought, We could have a Muslim Psychiatrist, M.D. and a Scholar comment on certain issues involving mental health and lslam. Though the prompt for this thought is sexual identity in an adult, other health issues still arise from time to time.
  15. Sometimes I have to be careful of what I say. I was afraid that people would assume things and judge but I remember Allah S.W.T is Al Hakam doesn't matter what the people think of me. afraid of what people will say because of my mental illness: lack of iman posessed by jinn bad but that was shaitans whispers, after all I can't read other peoples minds Mental health campaign entitled "are you ok?" Yeah Iam ok I am human I am flawed , this is my trial between me and my creater. Been around people who seem controlling always telling me what is wrong with me but I never tell them. Can't tell if they mean well or they wish to put me down. But I put myself down more than them Been around people who criticise and tease others but will not take a blow to their ego. claiming to know it all but not wanting to listen ya subehanalllah we are all flawed we all have our ups and downs but i remember Allah S.W.T sees all this after all he created us imperfect and we have chance to turn to him and his love is real and true nobody can love us like he can Alhamdulillah! He should be the only one in our hearts all this romance stuff is illusion plus will lead to haram and will leave you feeling empty and broken sure we should have love between the spouses but Allah S.w.T should be first in our heart before anything. We talk about feminism but real freedom is we dont need a man because Allah S.W.T is all we need Islam is what we need to really be free not any political ideology
  16. I am 16, and a brother, and ever since I was in the 8th grade I've been suffering from panic attacks......my eyes start to hurt intensely, and they feel like they are rolling into my head......I also feel a sense of impending doom, the greatest fear anyone can feel, and my speech gets slurred, and i lose balance....I have tried taking psychiatric pills, but they dont work all the time...i even had to start taking heavy supplements......in the 9th grade, it was so bad i kept trying to escape school, and once even made terroristic threats out of frustration, and had to go to alternative school.....they have ruined and debilitated my life, and made me afraid of going places, as they can happen at any time.....i was wondering if Allah swt is punishing me or testing me, and what I can do to stop it.... Also, ever since I was 13, I have lusted after pre pubescent children.....I know it is wrong, and i feel guilty, but sometimes i dont feel guilty, though I have never acted on it, and don't plan to, since it would ruin a child's life, and I would be behind bars (and probably get killed behind bars), I thought this was just an adolescent phase but it wasn't, it still persists, and I am, about to turn 17.....i have prayed for a cure, but nothing....i take heavy doses of antidepressants (which is used to lower libido) but no luck..... I have tried therapy, but no luck..... I have even tried relieving my frustrations by masturbating, but it only made it worse.... and I realized it was haram and felt even more guilty.... The pedophilia seems to be wearing off though, and my feelings seem to have faded to admiration for children (which is still sick, in this context) But the panic attacks are what really worry me.... i have tried ruqyah but it has not helped...i have tried black magic cures, reciting sakinah dua, but no luck...i have tried black seed oil, but no luck....what should I do?
  17. Salam, I'm a bit of a mess. I started wearing the hijab 5 years ago. It was natural for me to do it. I just did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. A year later, a started suffering from bad anxiety and panic attacks... even leaving my house would be a problem. I skipped a lot of classes and wouldn't go out with friends. I became more shy and quiet. I lost myself. I lost my bubbly personality. I always have my family and friends driving me everywhere because i get horrible anxiety when I take the bus/subway. Anyway, so last year I met this guy. He wanted to get to know me (the halal why) he met why family and all that. We had a great relationship. He actually helped me without knowing it, he would make my anxiety disapear. We would go out to places and I wouln't have panic attacks at all. He didn't even know I had anxiety issues. And as the date of the khotbe approched... he called me and said it was over... It was the biggest slap... we never fought, never had problems, everything was going fine. Now that he left I feel like I have to reconstruct myself and get better but the hijab has been an obstacle in many ways. I can't find a job and I just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I need to find myself. What should I do? Thank you
  18. Belief in God Can Improve Mental Health Outcomes A new study suggests belief in God may significantly improve the outcome of those receiving short-term treatment for psychiatric illness. Researchers followed patients receiving care from a hospital-based behavioral health program to investigate the relationship between patients’ level of belief in God, expectations for treatment and actual treatment outcomes. In the study, published in the current issue of Journal of Affective Disorders, researchers comment that people with a moderate to high level of belief in a higher power do significantly better in short-term psychiatric treatment than those without. Continues: http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/04/26/belief-in-god-improves-mental-health-outcomes/54121.html
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