In the Name of God بسم الله
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Bismillah hir rahman nir rahim Assalamalekuum brothers and sisters I have a very serious problem that I need help with. If I don't get answers I will go crazy. Please if you have answers can they be backed up. It is long but every detail is important. May Allah give you patience. First question is during the time of Nikah can the girl nod her head in reponse or does she have to utter the words of the Nikah? I have seen this a lot in IndoPak marriages. And the representatives who are local scholars don't object to it. So is this acceptable? Second question, God forbid the Nikah is read wrong and both the boy and girl become aware of this after conceiving a child, is the child considered illegitimate? Now my biggest question. This is detailed. 3 years ago I had hurt my parents and made them cry because I humiliated them infront of their friends (wasn't intentional) and felt really depressed and guilty for hurting them. They soon after wanted to get me married. They suggested a man that I wasn't excited about and I briefly told why I wasn't (age gap) but they try to make me understand in their parenting ways that age doesn't matter. I didn't fight back because I didn't want to hurt or bother them again so I agreed to the marriage. Fast forward a couple of months and I have travelled back home and i have met this man and his physical appearance threw me off ( I didn't like him and what is worse is that I liked someone else). I still didn't say anything to my parents. Fast forward to wedding day and at this point my whole family has travelled back home to attend this big wedding gathering. I still didn't think of saying anything to my parents because I couldn't hurt/humiliate them again. Forward to wedding night. I am asked by a representative for my nikah acceptance and I nod my reply as yes. During the nod I am thinking with overwhelming feelings that God I don't want too wit . I spend a month with this man and I do like him as a person. Still not fully in love. I travel back home and stay with my family for a year. Once again these overwhelming feelings come back. My father finds out about my feelings and he says he values my happiness and says divorce him and why didn't I say anything before. Around this time my husband had just immigrated to my country. I was indesicive at first but I couldn't hurt someone like that again (and this man really loved me). I decided not too. A couple of months later I finally muster the courage to tell him my feelings and soon after this I genuinely fell in love with him (he put more effort to make me happy) and wanted him as my husband. I soon get pregnant and I by chance ended up reading the rulings of Nikah (I never studied it; I was just told what to do and trusted it) . Which leads me here seeking help. Question is; Is my Nikah valid? Do I need to repeat it? Asking him to repeat it is going to cause adrift between us because he feels that nothing is wrong. I am afraid otherwise. I was not forced. My guilt and parents satisfaction brought me to this decision but now I am happy. I had to muster up a lot of courage to post this. I am going crazy. I am afraid of finding out the answer ngl. But this is driving me crazy where I am feeling lost and suicidal. I don't want to be in a haram relationship. Please somebody help me. I tried messaging Ayatollah Sistani but got no answer back. I am afraid of trying again.
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