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Found 323 results

  1. Asalam aleykum dear brothers and sisters. I have an Islamic question that fits my personal situation. I want to have more information about how to handle my situation. It's as follows: I live in the Netherlands and my wife lives in Pakistan. We've been married for over a year now. In the Netherlands I study and in 2 years I will be finishing my study. Then I can work and get my wife to the Netherlands ( due to my stable income) Each year I visit my wife in the summer during holidays. Then we will also sleep together. But the problem is that her parents don't allow me and her to have intercourse with each other. We are allowed to sleep together but we aren't allowed to have intercourse. I don't know what to do. Because in Islamic point of view having intercourse is legal. It's even illegal to deny sexual feelings for each other while being married. On the other hand having intercourse will be against the will of her parents. Also I will break their trust. I hope you can help me out with this question. Greetings, Jawad
  2. With all the grousing I've been doing on other topics, including ones I promised myself I'd ignore forever ( failed), I felt it was time to balance the universe and say something nice about a Shia for a change. Lol. SG and DD have had little time to themselves since the baby came, what with parenthood, school, and jobs happening. But school is over, jobs are on a break, and the little fellow finally weaned, which means he can be away from his parents for the night. We are watching him because SG made arrangements to take my daughter away for a bit. DD send me some photos. They are in a super-nice hotel up the coast with an ocean view and room service and he's set up a spa time for her along with many other fun activities. He's had the whole room decorated with her favorite flowers and there are even rose petals on the bed. She also sent the photos and info to her sister-in-law and sister-in-law to be. Now my sons are mad at SG for setting the bar so darn high. well, Grandma duty calls...
  3. I've read that you write your own certificate and have it notarized to allow you to preform Hajj or get married. What information must be included to go to mecca and would a name change make so I don't need a certificate. My legal first name means one who worships Jesus and is supposed to be changed anyway. Would taking an Arabic last and first name mean that I wouldn't need a certificate. I want one for my personal records just to commemorate my conversion and don't intend to visit mecca anytime soon so I'm considering leaving the passport number off until I can get a passport witch takes about three months but longer for me because my legal name is going to change it may take a 6 to 8 months before I'll be able to get one. I want the certificate now. should I get one and just replace with an updated version later?
  4. Hello and thank you for accepting me here. I find myself in a different situation for myself and hope that I can find guidance here. I have met a Shia man who has caught my interest (which is very difficult to achieve!). He is funny, intelligent, attractive and patient. The feeling is mutual. we have known each other for quite some time and the feelings are becoming intense. My question is this: is marriage possible between a Shia and a non-Muslim? Please be kind in your response...
  5. Salaam everyone, I was actually wondering about a Shi'a girls stance on marriage. I mean, I was wondering if say a Shi'a girl says her consent to the marriage 3 times to the niqah, but her niyyah isn't for it, meaning she doesn't actually want to get married to this person, does the marriage still count? If she says yes outwardly, but no niyyah inside to say yes, and doesn't want to, but is being forced to say yes? Especially in the case that the girl does not plan to have any "relations" with this person after the forced marriage anyway. Btw, for that, say if the marriage is valid, is it necessary for the girl to do acts of marriage with this person? Or if she doesn't want to she doesn't have to? I would appreciate any rulings or any information that could be found on this. Jazakallah & FiAmanAllah
  6. Salam, dear brothers and sisters in Islam I have recently contracted a temporary marriage with a girl from Ahlul-Kitab (Catholic) she is a virgin girl and I was seeking to inquire if the marriage contract that I have done with her is valid, I hope to not God forbid have this be an invalid contract in which would lead me to disobeying Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) the permission to "date" was granted ( I was told that would be considered عرف) I explained to the girl that there will be a fixed term and I chose one year and also for the dowry I said it was like a gift and instead of providing a specified gift I just gave $20 I am not sure if she remembers that the term was for one year but I did state it clearly to her through text and as for the oath I also explained what it meant in English on text and then in person I told her to repeat after me the words in Arabic in which she complied the words were a bit broken, but understandable. The father of the girl has passed therefore the permission to “date” was given by the mother the girl knows that this is a form of marriage contract in which I stated briefly would protect her rights and honor her If this is not a valid Mutah contract how may I make it as such (the more thorough and concise answer the better) And if this is a valid Mutah contract thank you for clearing my conscience may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant you all the intercession of the Prophets holy progeny I really love this girl and I hope to one day marry her if she is guided to the path of the Ahlul Bayt ((عليه السلام)) she has shown great willingness to debate and discuss religion and has told me if she is shown the truth she would adhere to it therefore I am trying fervently by the grace of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to provide the evidences needed in substantiating Shia Islam and in rebuking any deviated beliefs posed by the Catholics and their traditions respectively Side note: the mother allows us to date and perhaps is knowledgeable over certain intimate acts that may occur in which are known to be evident between “dating teenagers” but by no means would accept or agree to any act of copulation and or most likely oral gratification and the use of the other partners hands to aid the other in reaching ecstatic relief would the use of such means of intimate acts between one another; other then the means of osculation be prohibited for the acts listed above such as oral gratification and the use of the other partners hands, aid in demolishing any deviated acts of self-gratification as the role of a Mutah contract does so evidently and respectfully through the protection of the rights of the female counterpart If this marriage is a valid one would such intimate acts be prohibited and would copulation be allowed or not We are both virgins I am 19 and she is 18 if such acts are prohibited how may I seek to make them permissible and in what way is it deemed fit to do so May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you all and grant you all the intercession of the Ahlul Bayt thank you for reading and aiding this lost soul in maintaining his faith clinging on to the rope of Allah through the aid of such pious and forbearing lovers of the truth
  7. Salam. I’m being forced to have a haram walima. The walima will not be partitioned or segregated and this is a obviously a big issue. I’m the groom and I’m feeling trapped. On the one hand, the right thing to do is not attend but on the other hand I will be cutting off my parents and obviously any family we’ve invited. My wife is on my side obviously but she has decided to be quiet now as she does not want anymore issues. I got into a fight with my parents over this and here I am on the night of qadr feeling like none of my amaal mean anything because I’m upset with them. I’m trying very hard to forgive them but how can I when I’m being forced into a haram situation. It would be one thing if they did something in the past but this is something they’re planning to do. The whole idea of segregating by gender is so “strange” to them since all Pakistani weddings are usually mixed. It’s also about saving face for all the guests. I feel I can’t do anything. How do I cope? Will I be liable on the day of judgment for being part of this? Do I continue to fight this or shut up so my family can have “peace”? I wish I had access to a maulana for this issue but I have to resort to this forum.
  8. Salaam I’m an 18 year old Shi’a Syeda and am looking to get married soon as Islam has encouraged the virtues of marriage and the Ahlul Bayt have emphasised the blessings of marriage especially that at a young age. But I’m a disabled person in a wheelchair and I often wonder if anyone would want to marry a girl like me. Whether I would add anything of value to my husband’s life. Whether Islam has said anything about this? Any advice would be appreciated JazakAllah
  9. Salam. I'll be short. I am a mom of 2 kids and living with my husband and his in-laws. The thing is, I'm not being provided the care (financially, mentally and even physically) that I need as a woman, a wife and a mother. Our kids tuition fees are due for months and my husband hasn't found any job as of yet. I don't want to live him because in my heart, I don't want to leave him in this state but this situation has led me to depression, anxiety and frustration Ever since he stopped showing affection towards me even though I am in my 20s and Allah has blessed me with beauty; I've started to lean towards talking to men (online) because they praise and compliment me (I know it's wrong!). This is why I wish to get a divorce. But, I'm still very much tensed about it. PLEASE HELP!
  10. Salmon Alaykum, I am looking for seminal books on marriage, divorce and child raring in Shia Islam. Recommendations would be highly appreciated. I am also looking for advice in regard to the purchase of Shia books online or offline anywhere in the United Kingdom. Is there a platform like Kindle and Amazon for Shia books? If not is there a place that has a comprehensive selection from which people can purchase books, books like الزواج في القران و السنة للشهيد السيد عز الدين بحر العلوم Thank you in advance for your answers.
  11. I was wondering if a Shia woman can marry a Sunni man and if not why? I don’t want to ask this question to my parents because they will think im having something with a Sunni man. By the way, im with sayed Hussein fadlalah.
  12. First of all, my dad is what in our society (im from islamabad, pakistan) we'd call "religious". He prays five times a day, fasts, gives zakat, knows widely about the religion, and makes sure we know all of that. The part where he strays is that he believes my mom likes to show herself off, and likes the attention of other men. She can't do something as simple as taking a shower and going to work (teaching grade 1 students) the next day, without my dad thinking she's trying impress someone My mom has sacrificed her life for us, compromised for us (im the eldest daughter (17) , and i have three younger brothers (12,9,8)), because four years after the marriage he started showing his true colours. Btw, this was an arranged marriage, so none of that "maybe he feels like she'll love someone else". He's just an insecure man, with anger issues, who has never blamed himself for anything or openly apologised for the big arguments HE causes (not in the time ive been alive and been able to understand), thinks he knows best and there is no one better than him, doesn't have ANY real friends, and the one he does have, he constantlysays [Edited Out] about him to my mom, and then goes and places his world to the feet of this friend (btw this friend isnt alll that amazing either, but least he isnt a [Edited Out] bag like my dad( believe me i know)). when i was younger he used to physically abuse and hurt my mom, and he used to hit me too. he even went to saying that I also have a boyfriend when all i did was go upstairs to get a book (apparently there was some guy at the balcony opposite to our house, and i was " trying to communicate with him". i didnt take this lightly and raised voice and finger and started hitting me and dragged me down the stairs, and just like my nine year old self, i wanted to die and just kept repeating ' should have jusy killed me you ass' (this was two years ago). we had video camerasn around the house so mom opened them up, and showed i had done no such thing. he didnt apologise, he didnt even do anything to show remorse, instead justified everything from thefact that a raised my voise and held my finger up. a year ago, i was upset with him for another reason, and i told my mom. i told her to leave it that it was whatever, ill get over it. but she bought it up, and we got into an argument, and i do admit i shouldnt have misbehaved again (only verbally like raising my voice or rolling my eyes) but he got so aggressive and tried to slap me so i stopped him and threw his hand away,,, he went to the kitchen and got a knife , and all i could think agout was my mom cause she was trying to stop him and he kept saying "THIS IS WHY YOU SEE FATHERS KILLING THEIR DAUGHTERs ON THE NEWS" and "YOUVE TAAUGHT THEM NOTNHING YOUNSELFISH, USELESS, (swear word, more swear words, swearing at her family)". a couple a days ago, hes started fighting with her again even though its my international exams that make up my grade for my university. in the morning i woke up to my mom begging him to just stop cause he kept saying "i know what you do, i know your actions, i know your disgusting behaviour" (btw we know that this craziness is over once he just starts getting , ok? like it just dies down). as a child, id always step in, even get a few slaps if i had to to get in between him hurting her, but ive grown now and know my duties given to me by Allah, about respecting my parents, and getting in between ( my mom also keeps saying its just two more years, you'll be off to uni then and everything will be fine, and ' pls dont waste my sacrifices' everytime i want to interfere (hes threatened stopping me from studying several times). ever since i was small my dad has told me to aim for a scholarship because he knew more abput this stuff, but now i think, would he even let me leave the city let alone country to continue studies? hes rejected going to a psychologist, talking to anybody (he doesnt believe he has a problem, he thinks my moms the problem) about this, he says we make him angry and that before marriage he was never like this ( he has changed a lot in the sense that my mom and i can wear clothes like jeans but only with long shirts (my moms always worn a duppatta over her head (covers her hair)). cant get my dads side involved firstly, theyd love this. secondly, theyre all like this themselves. his sisters do burka andd all but theyre always free to go wherever whenever, meet whoever. they sometimes go ariund with this 'pir' (guy who does black magic) but if we point that out, all hell would brreak loose on us. (his sisters got married to two brothers, so same household). theyre background is from a not even respectable village, so i cant count on them. cant tell my moms side, they already have their own financial and family issues (my mom doesnt want us four to become a drama in our family, whatever that means cause like our house isnt already a drama). sometimes my mom gets so fed up, she says "MAY Allah TAKE ME SO YOU (my dad) CAN HAPPY AND MARRY ANOTHER WIFE" and now hes started saying " may he, so you burn in hell". he says all these other wives are so obedient and nice, but shes not. he says the money my mom brings in holds no value to him, even though she doesnt get to use it, he uses it all, our groceries and school fees are payed with it (oh and he hasnt had a job in years, sells plots and gets profit, but now none of that is working either so the 'no valued' monry shes been bringijng in since 6 years, is all that is coming into our house. hes in the world where Allah has made him the ' man' of this household, however he doesnt fulfill the duties and says my mom is the reason why there are no blessings in her house. he tells her to leaveher job, and says Allah will provide us with the money, that we'll be fine without hers (our fees are cut 75% short because of her, and we get house groceries, petrol for the car, and whatnot from her salary and our rent (which again is none of his own hardwork, our grandfather gave us this house)). i know this is very long, but please help me. ive thought about killing myself from the age of 7 to 14, i even used to self harm thinking if he saw me in the state hes put my mind in the pressure and the mistreatement (moms mistreatement is what gets to me, he doesnt do much to my brothers except for the middle one whom he thought wasnt his and rejected him emotionally for four years and now hes become habitual on scolding him the most, and my brother knows my dad rejects him the most but all he does is get upst over it). ive been so patient these pasts months, but ive had enough. this morning i walked in on them , half sleep, holding everything i could grab (like spray bottles, perfumes, my bloody mascara botle) to throw it at him because it seemed llike he was gonna get physical again. please help me, please please pplease
  13. From the teachings of Imams (عليه السلام), the virtues of marriage are clear. Examples: The Prophet (S) said, “One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” And in the Qur'an: “And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Surah an-Nur, 24:32) I am a 21 year old male who goes to university in Canada, and I will be graduating in 2 years Inshallah. I am also a convert to Islam, and I've accepted the school of the Ahlul Bayt shortly after my conversion. Because the scholars recommend marriage early, I am looking for a way to get married to a religious and faithful wife. Looks and ethnicity are not important for me, it is enough if she is strongly committed to God and the teachings of the Ahlul Bayt. Can some of the brothers here give me some advice? Should I wait more because I am new to Islam? How can I find the right person when I don't have a Shi'a family or any Shi'a friends? There are many Sunni women at the University, but I would much rather it be someone who is a follower of the Ahlul Bayt. There is no Shi'a mosque near me, but when I graduate I plan to immediately move to a place where there is a Shi'a community (probably Toronto). Thanks
  14. Salaam I have met a nice girl. We both want to get married. Everything is in place, the families have met each other and everyone is on board and we have everyones support. Only thing her father does not permit a mutah. Her parents prefer us to remain na mahram until nikah. The nikah will happen in July or August. My family are non Muslim so they are not in a position to be able to help. The girl wants to do mutah too, we both now want to become halal for each other. She has tried to convince them but now its my turn. It will be too difficult to remain na mahram for 8 months for both. I don't mean from a sexual perspective (we live in different countries), just generally because we are both getting more and more attached to each other and developing feelings. The parents argument is we have already hung out, whatsapped etc so just carry on doing that but that was different- those things were happening when we were still finding out about each other. Now the situation is different as we have reached certainty about each other, have feelings etc. I don't mind whatever conditions he wants. Its just appropriate to become halal now. What religious and practical arguments can I use to convince him? Duas
  15. Assalamu 3alikum, I am talking with this girl that I intend to marry but there are many complications preventing this. She is Asian and I am Arab but and so there is a culture difference between the families, but we get on really well. After research and asking many people we were still unsure and so decided to do an istikhara. I used this website : http://alkawthar.com/estekhara and the istikhara came out really good. The ayat said that you are on a straight path and although there will be many against you, you should continue with this good deed. My question was is choosing an ayah through a website a correct istikharah? Wasalam
  16. Guest

    i want to get married

    Disclaimer: ranting I have a problem, I am a female and my mother is not interested in me getting married any time soon. People have asked and she usually just makes it out to seem as if I am a livestock being sold to the highest bidder(he has to have his graduates degree, make money, have ahklaq, not have a opinionated mom, move to my city, be religious, tall, dark AND handsome ) . I work and have completed my education so naturally I would like to get married but every time I express that I am open to get married she scoffs and tells me to not act desperate and to be patient for when someone worthy comes along. I dont even feel like a women anymore because I have to always act like I am uninterested in affection. The reality is that I am not a teenager that just wants to get married so I can wear a dress and have a party. I have an established career and have enough money to take care of myself if the marriage hypothetically flops. It just seems to me that my mother finds any excuse and I didnt think this to be true until recently when someone that I am personally acquainted with had his mom ask for my hand. He has a very pleasing personality, is educated and I find him attractive but because my mom thinks his mother would be too involved she was against it(without asking for my opinion). I found about this weeks later when she incidentally told me as if it was something funny. She also referred his mom to a friend of hers who has many daughters that are unmarried. I got angry, felt very lonely and misunderstood. I want to have relations, start a family, have kids, and I am afraid of sinning..ie:start a haram relationship. I feel like the excuses she makes up do not make sense and maybe her intent is to keep me with her for the rest of her life !!!and!!! I am a realist, I cant be beautiful all my life!!!!! the older one gets, the harder it is unfortunately.
  17. Guest

    Language barrier to marriage

    Salam Aleykum, I am a 23 year old girl who live in the UK. I graduated university this year and among other things met a man that I can finally see as my future husband, I am completely and utterly in love with him because he was able to put a smile on my face in a period nobody else could. For my studies I relocated to London alone as a result I stayed here for nearly five years away from my family, meeting occasionally a few times a year. Alhamdullah I am successful in my career and was successful in my studies and I am from a sort of open-minded family hence, the did not mind me staying here to see my future although I am alone and I do feel very lonely at times but they have never pressured me for marriage and I was not ready. However, this has now changed and I am most certain about the guy I have met, he is Shia Muslim from a good family treats me like I deserve but the only issue would be that he is not Arab, like myself. I am from Iraq and he is from Pakistan and this is the only difference between me and him. I tried to speak to my mum over the phone just telling her that I am in love and want to get married, she told me off immediately and basically in very simple words told me that SHE will NEVER approve no matter what and that if I desperately wanted to go ahead with the marriage I am more than welcome to but she did not want anything to do with me past that. Now he reasons my mum is furious is that I brought a guy from a completely different country meaning he has different cultures and traditions but also most importantly he will have a MAJOR language barrier with my family as there is NO language in common whatsoever. But to me this isn't an issue body language and eye contact can say more than verbal words. I want my parents approval please advice me, help me, I do not want to get married without their consent. How can I convince my father who has never missed a prayer or a day of fasting that rejecting this man because he is not arab is so haram. How can I convince him. If you have had similiar experience please advice.
  18. (Bismillah) Salaam Alaykum I am in a dilemma with using online matrimonial website and I am not sure what to do. Recently, I was getting to know someone for marriage. I saw her picture but she hadn't had seen mine yet. The conversation went really well and we were hitting it off. After about an hour or two of talking, I showed her my picture and she suddenly changes her mind and says essentially (paraphrasing) that I am an amazing person but attraction is important for her too and she wasn't feeling that and just like that, she ended it. Earlier in the conversation she was really impressed and "mind blown" with how I converted to Islam, asking me about my ziyarat experience, hawsa and so on. But it seems like none that about me mattered anymore because of the attraction. Its happened before too. One girl after seeing my full length picture declined (I am not fat or obese, I am a regular at gym and sports), another had similar issues. I am starting to draw the conclusion that it really does not matter how "amazing" and "mind blowing" someone is, its means zilch, if you don't like their face? I guess my questions are: 1) How much importance should attraction hold? 2) From now onwards, should I just get a picture swap done straight away to avoid a repeat? Having said all this, I do agree that there can be a nervousness about speaking to someone who hasn't shown you their picture yet (for whatever reason) and you're slightly worried that what if you just don't feel any chemistry when you do see their picture and how do you break that too them. So from one perspective, I am glad these girls were just honest. As you can see, I am confused. What's the moral/right way of going about all this?
  19. Salam 3aleykum, a sister sent me this, asking for your advices: First of all sorry I'm not a natice English speaker and this will be a little longer: I have a personal issue with my husband. We are engaged since 4 months now (made a Nikkah), but I still live at home with my parents. Me and him know each other for 1,5 years and already went through a lot. He made a lot of mistakes like lying to me, chatting with other girls, never calling me back or ignoring me for days. We were fighting a lot. He lives about 6 hours away from me. in April he told me that he doesn't want me anymore. Telling me that it's my fault for not trusting him.. just to come back 1 week later and asking me for forgiveness. I forgave him everything, even when it really hurt me. I wasnt the one who did anything wrong. Yet he left. But came back.. Not much later he started to ignore my text messages again, didn't call me or showed no interests. This time I ended it all. It was June. I was so sad and broken hearted that I didn't let him take any more advantage of me. He was totally broke, I paid a lot for him, comforted him and made sure to motivate him in life - and all I received was ignorance. Again after a week, he regretted everything. He told my mother to talk to me, sent his brother and mother.. everyone asking me for another chance. Telling me he would change and never hurt me again. He said I should trust him for my love of Allah ta'ala and that Allah is the one knowing his intentions were real. I was really hurt by out of blind love I trusted him again, but promising myself that this would be the last chance, since he really did me wrong. I told him that he should take the chance and make it work this time and to treat me the way I deserve. He really tried hard this time and we both got engaged in September. But after that, everything went down again. Starting with ignoring my messages, never calling, not taking me seriously. I tried to talk to him very calmly first but he didn't took me serious. After that we only had fight after fight. He always told me that I would overreact, but I really didn't. He just started with his same old behaviors again. In November he did something that really broke me in pieces. He said that he wants to divorce me. Telling me we're way too different. He was annoyed by my way of thinking. He doesn't want a wife who asks him what he does or where he is at. He doesn't like it when I told him that certain things he does were haraam. He said things like "you want to go to Ziyarah every year but I don't". I was so shocked. I knew he wasn't super religious but maybe that was MY mistake to fall in love with him since I take my religion really serious. For nearly 2 months he said that he wanted to divorce me. Causing me so much pain. I lost 4 kg of weight and wasn't able to sleep for weeks. He made a mess out off me just like he did 2 times before. At the end of December, after many many attempts of solving this problem I asked him if a divorce would be this last word. I asked him I'd he' 100% sure. He said yes. And something deep inside me changed. I knew I tried EVERYTHING to solve this problem, but at this point it was like something told me to recognize my own worth and to stop caring. I suddenly saw all the bad things about him I covered the past moments. As if love made me blind and he opened my eyes with breaking me into pieces. I closed the doors behind him, being sure he'd leave for good. Allowing myself to find peace again. I realized how weak I was when I was with him. Before I met him I even prayed salat al-layl on a regular basis, but with him I even had problems with my 5 daily prayers. As if he took away all my spirituality for months. Even my Hijab got worse when I was with him. After closing the doors behind him, I found a really deep connection back with Allah ta'ala. And somehow found myself again. I felt so calm and happy.. alhamdulillah. But after a week.. he came back again. Again regretting it all. Again telling me that he's sorry and that he doesn't want to lose me. But this time I really CAN'T trust him anymore. My soul just doesn't want to. I just wish he'd leave like he said.. but he doesn't. Now he's telling me that he wants a last chance to make it all right and that if I can't trust him anymore, I have to get a divorce on myself and that he doesn't want to. I really don't know what to do. I don't trust him and I know that he's not good for me and my relationship to Allah ta'ala. He caused me so much pain and did the same mistakes over and over again. But I am too afraid of leaving him because I fear the effects of a divorce.. Is it wrong to say that I can't trust him anymore and is it right to leave someone who broke my heart so many times and made me suffer? I really don't think that I'll ever be happy with him on my side.. and I want to come closer to Allah ta'ala. That's so hard with a man who doesn't take his religion or marriage seriously. Will Allah ta'ala punish me for not giving him another chance? Or Should I stay with him only out of fear of Allah ta'ala even when it makes me sad? Please advice me..
  20. Is it advisable to marry before graduation or after in the West as a Shia guy. What age does Islam recommend to marry assuming finances is not an issue? Are humans mature enough to select and choose the right partner at 18/19 or should they wait until they are 25?
  21. I’ve been talking to someone for 3 years with my mums permission and his parents. Recently I told my dad that we want to get married and he said no due to us being from different backgrounds even though we are both Muslim Shia. I spoke to my mum, and we’re going to do everything we can to change my dads mind and if it comes to that, I will marry him with the sheik as a witness. My question is, should I do kheera now? Before we start a difficult journey convincing my dad? Or should I wait till I realise my dad will never be okay with it and do kheera then. I obviously want to marry him, he is a good genuine man.. as good as they get but if I’m going to risk it all, I would like to know if Allah thinks it’s a good idea so should I do kheera before I speak to my dad again
  22. Salaam brothers and sisters, Alhamdulilah I will be in a position in the near future to start seriously looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, I live in a smaller midwest US city with no Shia presence. My family is not Shia, so any sisters they know would (mostly) be Sunni, which is something I would like to avoid. That being said, is there anyone who was in a similar situation that found a spouse? Also anyone have any suggestions on where to start looking? I am 100% American, so the whole arranged marriage culture completely avoids me, and prefer to be with someone I can culturally relate to.
  23. Salam everyone, last month I gave my dads a heads up that I wanted a family to come speak to him about marriage. the person I want to marry just came back from the arbaeen in Iraq and now we want to speak to my dad. One problem, I’m iraqi and he’s lebanese.. my dad will not allow it, it’s uncomfortable about marrying a different nationality. does anyone know any tips to convince him abit? I’m planning to say something like I’m not going to lose my culture just because he’s lebanese.. we’re going to teach eachother our languages, both our first language is English anyway. He has a beautiful character, he’s into his deem as much as he possibly can, he’s respectful. i just wish I knew what the key things is to convince him that it’s okay. any opinion will do, thank you in advance. Please pray for me
  24. Guest

    Sunni Shia marriage?

    Hi, I am in a dilemma, I am a sunni girl who wants to marry a shia syed guy. He also wants the same but is petrified of even suggesting this to the family due to the different beliefs and society disapproval. Has anyone been in a similar situation if so any advice would be great. Thank you
  25. I’ve been married for coming up to 3 years. I live with my MIL & FIL and most the time my SIL & her daughter live here too. I cook dinner every day, sometimes even cook afternoon food too. I’m from a different culture, my in laws are Indian and they eat curry everyday for lunch. I’ve learnt how to cook lots of Indian food! I help out around the house, I do majority of the cleaning every other day eg hoover, keep kitchen clean & the 2 bathrooms once a week. I wash everyone’s clothes every Saturday morning, normally do 3 loads. My SILs daughter is very close to me she always wants me and wants to go everywhere with me that ppl think she’s my daughter. If me and my husband go shopping ( just me and him ) it’s an issue with my MIL, she will call my other SIL and start moaning about it, being all upset and angry. MIL doesn’t like us going anywhere without her basically. MIL always back bites about me saying I don’t do anything around the house, I don’t cook or clean. I just sit all day doing nothing and tells my SIL to tell my husband about this. Her attitude; it’s really starting to make me resent her. She’s all nice and smiles to my face but to my SIL she complains about me too much. she expects me to not go out with my friends, and when I do she complains asking why I even go and I go out too much. I go out once a week if that? Seriously. And complaining about me not cleaning and cooking when I do it everyday? . I go to my mums house every Friday and MIL doesn’t like it, and when I come back she always gives me dirty looks. Even when me and hubby want to go upstairs and just watch a movie together and chill, just have our own space together, it’s an issue we have to take SILs daughter upstairs with us! All of this makes me feel so annoyed. I’ve spoken to my husband about this before but he is adamant to stay living with his mum and dad. We were so close to breaking up before about this exact same issue, we had such a big bust up. He will NOT live separate, he would rather divorce me. I’m not happy living here anymore because of the way my MIL is. Really don’t know what to do. I’m trying to conceive as-well but I’m thinking twice about that now due to the way things are and I think they’ll get even worse if I had a baby whilst living here! Which makes me feel really sad as I desperately would love to have a child..
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