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In the Name of God بسم الله
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How can we reconcile Islam rendering sexuality as both insignificant and the most pleasurable thing in existence? Keep in mind our destination will be heaven and sex will be the most engaged-upon activity in heaven. Is sex insignificant only in this world, but significant in heaven? Imam Ali (AS): “He whose intellect is complete finds sexual desires insignificant.” [Ghurar Al-Hikam, No. 8226] Imam Sadiq (AS): “Indeed, the people of heaven do not take delight in the pleasures of heaven more than sex; neither food nor drink has that much pleasure for them.” [Wasail Al-Shia, V. 20, Hadith 24929] It was asked of Imam Sadiq (AS): “If someone undresses his wife (and makes her naked) and looks at her, is there a problem?” He replied: “There is no problem, is there any better pleasure than this that exists?” [Hadiyah Al-Mutaqin, P. 111]
Sisters are free to join in, I posted this here because it may not be suitable, due to its explicit nature, in the family and social forums. I know there is nothing wrong if a man marries because of his basic need for sex. I still cannot see this from a girl's point of view. There will obviously be problems if you choose a spouse simply because she looks good and I know spouse selection and marriage is much more than that. This thread is about why Men/Women see it as deviant for a person to enter a marriage because of his sexual needs? Often I see people advising young men that they should not marry because of sex but what I think they fail to realise is that sex and lust is what motivates men to get married, you could act all sisterly on me about this point but those natural desires are there for a reason and purpose, so I do not think buying groceries is the main reason why men get married, I think lust is what drives men to marry. Also please don't misread this, when I say sex is what drives men I am not saying that is the only motivation but it is one of the many reasons why men get married. So what is wrong with marrying to fulfil one's needs? I keep hearing people discouraging other people away from marriage because of many reasons like money and "marriage is more than lust". No wonder why people are not marrying early. Being a young man trying to marry today is like pushing through several walls of discouragement from everyone, I wonder how many other young men are wanting marriage but their efforts are in vain because people simply don't understand what 'enjoining good' is. Also if you could list a few other reasons/motivations for why men get married other than sex would be helpful.
Asak everyone, I feel very shameful in writing the following but am feeling helpless and need help. I am a practising shiite muslim but during teenage i caught a bad habit of watching pornographic things on internet. This has become an addiction now...I have tried a lot to stop this bad act. I have tried following things like: 1.) Regular praying to Allah 2.) Keeping Fast 3.) Keeping away from internet as much as possible. ( i cant completely stop as there are few things for which internet is must also my job involves use of internet) 4.) stopped looking at normal movies /drama/music anything 5.) Namaz-e-shab 6.) Astaghfar 7.) being in the state of wadoo 8.) lowering my gaze however i am able to keep away from this shameful act for few days and then fall back into it again. No matter how much i vow not to repeat it when excited i dont seem to take heed to those vows. After doing this act i masturbate which is again haraam. I feel very ashamed after this and for next few timings i dont pray thinking with what face will i stand in salaat in front of god...last time i made a vow and did astaghfar and i have repeated the mistake again !! I cry for some time eventually i regroup my senses and make a vow not to do it again. this has become an endless cycle..... Its like this either i am very spiritual doing Dhikr/fasting/ praying/ and reading religious literature and when i fall, i fall to very lows watching such bad stuff which is destroying my spiritual self........i am on either extreme....i am leding a double life... This turmoil within is effecting everything ...professional and personal life....besides i start hating myself so much that i feel suicidal.... My profile is i am unmarried working professional of 26 yrs age. i have done thorough research on net about this type of addiction.Its a chemical imbalance and this addiction has been compared to cocaine addiction. the same chemicals get released and the craving is of same intensity. Marriage is often not the solution. besides this would be like cheating my to be spouse. If i am unable to control my addiction even after marriage i have spoiled her life as well. i feel like any other disease first i should cure myself and then marry. Does anyone reading this on the forum has any suggestions as to how can i overcome this problem. anyone who has successfully won over his "self" ....any special dua or act.........Thanking you in advance..
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