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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Is it haram to cut off ties with your parents but still help them economically? Ever since I were younger my parents always used to beat me. Whether I did something wrong or just annoyed them. My parents always yells or hits me and iam 16 years old. I’ve read some Hadiths about it, but I really don’t know what to do! I want to cut off my ties with them when I turn in the 20’s or so. I will buy them a house and send money to them. But I won’t talk to them. What should I do? please help me
ASSALMO ALAIKOM!!I have been very curious about this fact that men are allowed to hit women in Islam very lightly that it should not cause any injury. However some of our Muslim brothers don't really care about their injury they beat women or even some beat them until died (mostly in Afghanistan). “As to those women on whose part you fear ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great.” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34] If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys his commands, then he should follow this method of admonishing her, forsaking her in bed and hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this means that it should not cause pain. ‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator] I have only two questions which are eating me inside. 1: If men are guided to be the protector of women in Islam, why are they allowed to hit women? 2: What if men disobey women, are women allowed to hit men or beat them?
I've been wondering about this for a while now. People seem to have different definitions of child abuse. For the purpose of this thread I'm going to talk about physical and emotional abuse; I really hope there are no doubts as to which side of the line sexual abuse falls on. My first question is, is there a 'line'? Depending on where you come from, the kind of childhood you had, what your parents believed in...your definition of child abuse can vary. So are there certain acceptable things and certain unacceptable things..or is this a matter of opinion? I know the general rules in sharia..being allowed to hit a child, for example, without the skin becoming red. But that is, I feel, very general. As far as physical abuse goes I suppose we could still distinguish where that line is, but not so much with emotional abuse. The factor of 'respecting your parents no matter what' (just respecting them in your heart, not behaving badly) also plays a part, which is why I'm asking this on SC. Being a little more specific, I'll outline a few scenarios and you tell me what you guys think - whether this would be considered acceptable, and if not, what is the degree of 'horror' you would rate it at. 1. Parents threatening to cut off a child's fingers if he/she doesn't cut nails, bringing a knife and everything and stopping only when the child has cried and begged. 2. Blackmailing a child. (If the child complains to the father about the mother calling calling him/her names, the mother will 'make sure Daddy knows what a bad kid you really are'). 3. Hitting a child in a way that leaves a slight bruise that'll go away in a day or two. 4. Making siblings slap each other/themselves as punishment. 5. Locking a child in a room for hours when he/she is afraid of the dark. 6. Making a child feel like she should not have been born (unintentionally), or saying other hurtful things. 7. Forcing the child to do something that is just recommended in Islam, not obligatory (recommended fasts or prayers) by threatening to cut off education or using emotional blackmail? 8. Forcing a (13-14 year old) child to eat something they cooked because it got too salty/spicy as punishment. 9. Emotionally blackmailing an older child (14 - 15) to take care of a younger sibling - like holding a sixteen year old accountable for a twelve year old's misbehavior. On a slightly digressive note, what if a child becomes disrespectful (says things like Stop this right now, you're acting crazy, snatching objects from the parent's hands like maybe something they were going to use to hit the child or a sibling with) in situations like numbers 3 or 6? Would this be warranted from a religious point of view, keeping in mind the Islamic theme to never hurt or disrespect your parents? Sorry if it got a bit long! I'd really appreciate some input.
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