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In the Name of God بسم الله

rkazmi33

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Everything posted by rkazmi33

  1. It's not just about getting rejected, it's so many stalkers who see you single and they think "well, you don't have any other option, so why not accept me"? It's to show them I DO have an option. And the parents who think that I am rejecting all stalkers because I am over confident about myself. So they insult me or they convince decent men to humiliate me. So either I am getting stalked by men or I am getting humiliated by them without any reason. I can deal with rejection but rejection can be kind and subtle. I don't reject people by humiliating them publicly unless they become stalkers. I have never stalked anyone, so I don't deserve public humiliation. I can deal with rejection. I am not asking men on dates astaghfirullah but if people are constantly STARING at me, noting my expressions to see if I "like" anyone and then humiliate me about liking anyone, what can I do to avoid all this drama?
  2. I don't know why it happened but I dealt with so much animosity and hatred from people since 2019. This year has been good actually but I get too much worried if anything happens.
  3. I am looking forward for the world to end. My life ended in 2019 and since then everyday has been living in hell. People say that I complain too much and I resent seeing people happy and enjoying their lives.
  4. I believe this is the reason people become gays and lesbians. I am dealing with this right now. Sometimes I think about telling non muslim's I am lesbian so that I can get rid of at least non Muslim stalkers. If Muslims don't want their kids to become homosexuals, then stop forcing them to get married to people they don't like. Imagine if non muslims behave like this and can be so persistent for 10 years, then what kind of pressures Muslims face? Why is every decent guy suddenly "out of my league" except for my stalkers? The clinginess, the cheap tactics like telling you that everyone else is "out of your league", no regard for boundaries and not taking no for an answer EVER, these are the biggest turn offs in guys like this.
  5. Have you ever been stuck at a job where they constantly humiliate you but don't fire you? What can you do in this situation? Due to me being autistic, I have learning disability and I am constantly distracted due to fights at home. I am hesitant to learn new skills, so my employer is not giving me work. But they don't fire me also so that I can focus on finding a new job. I am looking but I have so much anxiety about my job that I just spend time praying that my day at my job goes okay today. Employers are so cruel, they are torturing me because they don't want to give me unemployment. And my community is keeping tabs on me. They constantly shame me that I am giving bad image to Islam because I am not a good worker. They just want me to work for them so that they can humiliate me as much as they want. I miss the old days when an employer had a problem with you, they would just fire you. Now they are pretending to be "kind" by not firing people, when in fact they are being so cruel.
  6. #5 seems like a loophole parents can use to force marriages. If two people want to marry in their hearts, why would they show disapproval and how would everyone else know what's in their heart? Sounds like a plot of rom com, two people like each other but won't admit but everyone else knows they like each other. This NEVER happens in real life, this rule is a loophole.
  7. Please remember me in your prayers tonight and on 23rd. I have asked for duas too many times from people I know in real life. One specific dua is that I have too many enemies, please ask Allah to save me from hatred and animosity of people.
  8. I went for an interview, the managers at the job were one Spanish woman and African America man and there were mostly women there. It looked very clear that this company was mostly democratic. When I read the online reviews, they were "this is the worst job I ever had". "They hire fresh graduates and burn them out, turnover rate is very high, no one stays for even a whole year". I know that they were not just disgruntled employees, I have worked at places like that. I am thinking that democrats talk so much about evil rich people and employers and yet they create such working conditions. Doesn't it go against everything democrats stand for? I am beginning to think if it's true that democrats are just hypocrites.
  9. I started driving for door dash last weekend. I did it for two days and I really liked it. Most of people were nice and just wanted me to leave stuff at their door. I won't earn a lot probably but I am so sick of corporate culture and dealing with co-workers. I want to leave my job and start door dash full time. As far as learning skills, I am not learning any skills at my corporate jobs either except may be politics and how to deal with toxic people. Another thought: I think I was attacked by a jin. I felt like I was having heart attack, I went to bathroom to throw up and I probably fainted. I woke up with my face swollen and my tooth is chipped. I am feeling fine, not sick at all that's why I think it was attack by a jin. I was watching in news that Biden shakes hands with some imaginary person. He might be shaking hands with a jin.
  10. https://youtube.com/shorts/bPb3SoJWR44?feature=share I have noticed that when I pray for others, my prayers get answered more easily. And whenever I have asked for prayers on shiachat, my problems are solved. Should we make a thread before shab e qadar in which we can assign prayer buddies or something like that. We pray for each other?
  11. I think just like some people want to keep all wealth to themselves, they are also keeping relationships to themselves. In 2014, I was married and doing good in my career. I was learning so many things at work, doing all house work by myself and also volunteering. Today I am not able to do a single chore at home, at work I am also considered useless and I am not doing any volunteering. Have I become disabled or crippled in 7 years? No, it's just I have been excluded and marginalized both at home and at work. There are people who want to pretend they are the only ones useful or can do anything while rest of the people are just waste of resources. I am constantly told I am only good for one thing and that's why I should just get married to some creepy guy because I am unable to learn any skills and do anything to support myself. I hate all the proposals available to me and yes, that means I am unable to be a good wife to even one man. My sister, on the other hand, can be a good wife to not one, but 10 men and she is probably secretly playing that role for 10 men. I believe the same thing is happening with men also. Some men are capable of relationships with 10 women and some are not able to keep even one woman, but it's not their fault. They have been marginalized and excluded from the society. Capitalism is not just hoarding money, it's also hoarding relationships. I just don't understand these people. They have to do a lot more work and they are complaining about having to do all the work, but they don't let others do any work. I can understand why people would do this at home but at work? You are doing job of 2 or 3 people, you are not getting more pay, you are only benefitting your employer and you are doing all this for what? Just for an ego boost and to make your "enemies" look bad? You are SO SO SO STUPID!!!! In past, if people were too smart for their job, they would go find a better paying job or try to get promoted, now they get into these weird relationships with their employers, become "loyal" to them and play kings and queens, while staying at their pathetic jobs and making life miserable for their co-workers. And employers are very happy giving these people privileges as long as they don't ask for more money and are only happy with the daily ego boost.
  12. I was listening to lecture at my local center and the speaker said that all mental health problems are result of a person sinning more. A pious person is strong but a person, who commits too many sins, becomes weak and that's why they develop mental health problems. I am shocked that in a community full of educated people and doctors, a speaker can say such things on mimbar. This is why I don't go to masjid anymore. I wish I lived in a state, where there was no Islamic center. Not being able to go because you feel you are no more welcomed is so painful.
  13. In my culture, there are so many people that take their marriage as their career, they have to give their 100% effort. It doesn't matter if they like or dislike the other person. And they are so hard to read, it's so hard to tell what are their personal preferences. They follow their elders or parents. It makes them seem extremely dangerous since they are so skilled at lying. They can be extremely kind and also extremely cruel to their spouses depending upon how their elders or leader of family wants them to behave. I am not able to do that and people keep calling me "slave of my desires". I am so offended by this because "slave of desires" makes me feel like a creep. I am probably a slave to my emotions. I am unable to turn my emotions off and on on someone's orders. If I am unable to feel attraction towards a person because he is abusive/ or because he has been stalking me for many years, does that make me a slave of my desires? In my community, it's not just men who are devoid of any emotions, women also seem to have no emotions. How is it possible to get married to someone without any attraction or emotional attachment?
  14. I am at very low point of faith, constantly begging people to pray for me because my prayers don't get answered. Also, religious people have been using religion to punish me, that's why I have lost interest in religion.
  15. Dear brothers and sisters! I need your prayers. I am going through a hard time and all doors seem to be closing. Please pray for me that may Allah ease my difficulties. 

    1. rkazmi33

      rkazmi33

      Thank you to all brothers and sisters who prayed for me. 

       

  16. Wasalam! thank you, it is very helpful. I don't want to do 4 year degree, because I don't want to take loans. I want to study so that I have a second choice if I cannot find a job in my current field. I agree with your last point. I will try to complete a course because I have been doing the same kind of work and it will be good to use my brain.
  17. I think the most important factor is co-workers and working environment. And I can tell you that since competition has increased, working environments have become toxic. I am 39 years old and I am ready to retire. Since 2019, I haven't found one place with reasonable co-workers. Constant fighting, harassment, it effects my akhlaq and my faith also. People get worried so much that our kids will marry a non-Muslim and I find this concern ridiculous. If your kids only meet non-Muslims at workplace, everyone shows their worst level of akhlaq at work and I cannot imagine anyone liking anyone in that kind of environment. And blue collar jobs have the most toxic environment. Until few years ago, I used to worry a lot that I am representing Islam to non-Muslims, now I don't care at all. Even if I try, I cannot force myself to care about what kind of image of Islam I am representing and I can tell you they don't care about religion or Islam either. It's just another point they can use to add to the toxicity. No one should be working in blue collar jobs, not because there's any shame in working these jobs but because of the kind of animals you face everyday while working at those jobs.
  18. I haven't studied anything in 15 years. Now I have free time, so I thought about studying again, but I find everything complicated. I started an accounting course but it seems too difficult. I remember I was good at math, so what should I study? Have I become too old or everything has become more complicated than it was 15 years ago?
  19. If you are a resident alim and you have to do amar bil maroof and nahi anil munkir, who should be your priority? A company consisting of hundreds of community members, who are risking lives of hundreds and earning millions, or that one community member who is supposedly wasting time in the privacy of her own room?
  20. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/01/16/center-for-covid-testing-federal-funds/6512508001/ This is my community. They keep track of my online activity, humiliate me if I spend too much time on entertainment and tell me that I am presenting a bad image of Islam to non muslims, while other members of community are doing this.
  21. Yes I am trying to find another job. I am thinking if he goes back to being creepy, I will take days off.
  22. He doesn't stalk anyone else, only me and he doesn't look afraid at all. He is very intimidating, he looks like an incel who has been rejected by women all his life and he is full of bitterness, hate and revenge. He is taking revenge from me for all the women who rejected him. I am afraid of him, everyday I hate going to work because of him and I am constantly distracted because of him. I don't know, when you tell someone over and over again you are not interested, and they don't get the message then they look like a psycho who won't ever leave you alone. My family wants me to marry a guy who has a personality exactly like him, and I guess that's why I hate him so much. The more he is around me, more I become convinced that I will end up with someone like him and I have no other options. Anyway, I have not tried talking to my manager, because if they are supporting him, they won't do anything even if I do complain. I have been posting on my social media about stalking and started applying for new jobs and he has stopped. But I don't think it will last, I think he is only doing it for few days, he will be back to stalking if he sees I have decided to stay. I am autistic, so I am not very good at social cues, but I feel that at every company, there's a pressure to choose "work-husband" and since I haven't chosen anyone, team has assigned him as my work-husband. I just hate this idea, why it cannot be work brother or work friend? Using the word husband for a stranger non-muslim is so disgusting and it makes me cringe.
  23. I have been posting about facing harassment by a non-muslim. It's actually one guy who is my co-worker, for 5 months he has been stalking me at work. He just feels the need to be in the same room with me, if I am working in one room, he is there, if I go to other room, he follows me. And all my other co-workers are supporting him. They intentionally schedule us so that we are both doing testing in the same room. I read a reddit thread by a woman, she also mentioned that a creepy guy has been harassing her and her manager is intentionally scheduling her with that guy on the same days. I work in the second shift and there are only 3 people working in the second shift. Now the other guy is leaving early or just calling in so that only me and the creepy guy are in the building. I am so frustrated. I don't understand why that guy is so desperate. If he cannot get a girlfriend, I am sure he can afford a prostitute, and I don't understand why my other co-workers are supporting him. They don't do any work and that's the bad thing about intelligent people. Less intelligent people can deal with boredom, but intelligent people when they are bored, they just use these sadistic, sick, twisted, means to create drama and entertain themselves. I am thinking about changing jobs but I just tell myself it's not so bad. He is just stalking me, not passing any comments. But his consistent stalking has scared me. I cannot stand to be in the same room with him. Has anyone else noticed that harassment has increased so much since 2019? I have not been able to stay at a job for very long and it's only because of these creeps which are present in every company. I read in the news that women are dropping out of work place and I think this harassment may be the reason. I honestly just want to quit and not even apply for new jobs. People think the career of influencer is degrading, I think that's more respectful for women. At least they deal with all the creeps behind a computer screen. They don't have to face the creeps every single day. I wonder if corporate people are doing this intentionally. Relaxing their policies about harassment so that more women drop out of work place and they get married and start having children. Is this all because of falling birth rate?
  24. Wasalam! Thank you for taking the time to read about my problems and suggest solutions. About my workplace, I have worked at different companies and this is actuslly less toxic than other places I have worked. There are very few people and I have the freedom to leave the room pretending I have to do work in another room when they are talking about me. When I started, I learned few test from a nice muslim co-worker and then they hired new people, who were all toxic. Their issue is that I am not learning anything new and the only reason is I have to learn new test from those toxic co-workers and I just don't want to spend time with them. I am avoiding this for as long as I can. Regarding my family, it's because one or both of my parents are narcissist and we always had that golden child/ scapegoat dynamic in my family. When we were kids, I was the golden child and my sister was scape goat. Now the roles are reversed. When I was a golden child, I never treated my sister bad, always tried to be kind to her but she has so much resentment towards me and now she is taking revenge. I guess now they just want me to get married. I am 39 years old and they want me to get married and have kids ASAP. I have tried asking for help from scholars but my parents have money and community's powerful people on their side. Not wanting to get married is apparently enough proof for someone living a sinful life and becoming an apostate.
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