rkazmi33

#5 seems like a loophole parents can use to force marriages. If two people want to marry in their hearts, why would they show disapproval and how would everyone else know what's in their heart? Sounds like a plot of rom com, two people like each other but won't admit but everyone else knows they like each other. This NEVER happens in real life, this rule is a loophole.

Please remember me in your prayers tonight and on 23rd. I have asked for duas too many times from people I know in real life. One specific dua is that I have too many enemies, please ask Allah to save me from hatred and animosity of people.

I went for an interview, the managers at the job were one Spanish woman and African America man and there were mostly women there. It looked very clear that this company was mostly democratic. When I read the online reviews, they were "this is the worst job I ever had". "They hire fresh graduates and burn them out, turnover rate is very high, no one stays for even a whole year". I know that they were not just disgruntled employees, I have worked at places like that. I am thinking that democrats talk so much about evil rich people and employers and yet they create such working conditions. Doesn't it go against everything democrats stand for? I am beginning to think if it's true that democrats are just hypocrites.

I started driving for door dash last weekend. I did it for two days and I really liked it. Most of people were nice and just wanted me to leave stuff at their door. I won't earn a lot probably but I am so sick of corporate culture and dealing with co-workers. I want to leave my job and start door dash full time. As far as learning skills, I am not learning any skills at my corporate jobs either except may be politics and how to deal with toxic people. Another thought: I think I was attacked by a jin. I felt like I was having heart attack, I went to bathroom to throw up and I probably fainted. I woke up with my face swollen and my tooth is chipped. I am feeling fine, not sick at all that's why I think it was attack by a jin. I was watching in news that Biden shakes hands with some imaginary person. He might be shaking hands with a jin.

https://youtube.com/shorts/bPb3SoJWR44?feature=share I have noticed that when I pray for others, my prayers get answered more easily. And whenever I have asked for prayers on shiachat, my problems are solved. Should we make a thread before shab e qadar in which we can assign prayer buddies or something like that. We pray for each other?

I think just like some people want to keep all wealth to themselves, they are also keeping relationships to themselves. In 2014, I was married and doing good in my career. I was learning so many things at work, doing all house work by myself and also volunteering. Today I am not able to do a single chore at home, at work I am also considered useless and I am not doing any volunteering. Have I become disabled or crippled in 7 years? No, it's just I have been excluded and marginalized both at home and at work. There are people who want to pretend they are the only ones useful or can do anything while rest of the people are just waste of resources. I am constantly told I am only good for one thing and that's why I should just get married to some creepy guy because I am unable to learn any skills and do anything to support myself. I hate all the proposals available to me and yes, that means I am unable to be a good wife to even one man. My sister, on the other hand, can be a good wife to not one, but 10 men and she is probably secretly playing that role for 10 men. I believe the same thing is happening with men also. Some men are capable of relationships with 10 women and some are not able to keep even one woman, but it's not their fault. They have been marginalized and excluded from the society. Capitalism is not just hoarding money, it's also hoarding relationships. I just don't understand these people. They have to do a lot more work and they are complaining about having to do all the work, but they don't let others do any work. I can understand why people would do this at home but at work? You are doing job of 2 or 3 people, you are not getting more pay, you are only benefitting your employer and you are doing all this for what? Just for an ego boost and to make your "enemies" look bad? You are SO SO SO STUPID!!!! In past, if people were too smart for their job, they would go find a better paying job or try to get promoted, now they get into these weird relationships with their employers, become "loyal" to them and play kings and queens, while staying at their pathetic jobs and making life miserable for their co-workers. And employers are very happy giving these people privileges as long as they don't ask for more money and are only happy with the daily ego boost.

I was listening to lecture at my local center and the speaker said that all mental health problems are result of a person sinning more. A pious person is strong but a person, who commits too many sins, becomes weak and that's why they develop mental health problems. I am shocked that in a community full of educated people and doctors, a speaker can say such things on mimbar. This is why I don't go to masjid anymore. I wish I lived in a state, where there was no Islamic center. Not being able to go because you feel you are no more welcomed is so painful.

In my culture, there are so many people that take their marriage as their career, they have to give their 100% effort. It doesn't matter if they like or dislike the other person. And they are so hard to read, it's so hard to tell what are their personal preferences. They follow their elders or parents. It makes them seem extremely dangerous since they are so skilled at lying. They can be extremely kind and also extremely cruel to their spouses depending upon how their elders or leader of family wants them to behave. I am not able to do that and people keep calling me "slave of my desires". I am so offended by this because "slave of desires" makes me feel like a creep. I am probably a slave to my emotions. I am unable to turn my emotions off and on on someone's orders. If I am unable to feel attraction towards a person because he is abusive/ or because he has been stalking me for many years, does that make me a slave of my desires? In my community, it's not just men who are devoid of any emotions, women also seem to have no emotions. How is it possible to get married to someone without any attraction or emotional attachment?

I am at very low point of faith, constantly begging people to pray for me because my prayers don't get answered. Also, religious people have been using religion to punish me, that's why I have lost interest in religion.

Wasalam! thank you, it is very helpful. I don't want to do 4 year degree, because I don't want to take loans. I want to study so that I have a second choice if I cannot find a job in my current field. I agree with your last point. I will try to complete a course because I have been doing the same kind of work and it will be good to use my brain.

I think the most important factor is co-workers and working environment. And I can tell you that since competition has increased, working environments have become toxic. I am 39 years old and I am ready to retire. Since 2019, I haven't found one place with reasonable co-workers. Constant fighting, harassment, it effects my akhlaq and my faith also. People get worried so much that our kids will marry a non-Muslim and I find this concern ridiculous. If your kids only meet non-Muslims at workplace, everyone shows their worst level of akhlaq at work and I cannot imagine anyone liking anyone in that kind of environment. And blue collar jobs have the most toxic environment. Until few years ago, I used to worry a lot that I am representing Islam to non-Muslims, now I don't care at all. Even if I try, I cannot force myself to care about what kind of image of Islam I am representing and I can tell you they don't care about religion or Islam either. It's just another point they can use to add to the toxicity. No one should be working in blue collar jobs, not because there's any shame in working these jobs but because of the kind of animals you face everyday while working at those jobs.

I haven't studied anything in 15 years. Now I have free time, so I thought about studying again, but I find everything complicated. I started an accounting course but it seems too difficult. I remember I was good at math, so what should I study? Have I become too old or everything has become more complicated than it was 15 years ago?

Screen mirroring.

If you are a resident alim and you have to do amar bil maroof and nahi anil munkir, who should be your priority? A company consisting of hundreds of community members, who are risking lives of hundreds and earning millions, or that one community member who is supposedly wasting time in the privacy of her own room?