rkazmi33

@ShiaofAli12 last year I was listening to a very different kind of message from scholars. They were constantly saying that Prophets and AhlylBayt were all successful people. If you are miserable, that's because of your sins and that makes you a kafir. Because if you are a good momin, you will live a good life both in this world and next. All the blessings in this world are created for momins and momins enjoy them, while lazy people cannot obtain those blessings and use religion as an excuse. People, who are lazy in worldly affairs, they are also lazy in religious affairs. This is what I call spiritual abuse and it's happening a lot. It's easier to deal with hardships when you believe it's a test from God but when people constantly tell you that it's a punishment for your sins, it becomes hard to deal with it. My sister has recently become religious and she is very competitive. She has made religion a competition also. She is working, doing house work, doing all sorts of worship and also helping people in community. There are people cheering for her and discouraging me. For example, when I fast on my days off, people actually become mad. Unwillingly, I have become part of this competition with her and it's exhausting. It's also surprising for me because mostly when people become religious, they also want others to excel in spiritual journey. But when competitive people become religious, it seems like they want all others to stop practising. Scholars have lost the compassion. They have turned into motivational speakers and they insist on over dosing you with the bitter truth.

For me, it's much easier to feel closer to God when life is easy. During hard times, I tend to give up and lose all my hope. Forget about 40 days, what if bad things are happening after every 2 or 3 days? I can deal with illness, or some degree of abuse, but last year, I dealt with spiritual abuse and it really damaged my faith. For the first time in my life, I felt so empty and I felt like people were killing my soul. I didn't have anything which would at least keep me busy and divert my attention. I am done with hardships, and I need some success and happiness in my life. Until the time I turned 30, I had relatively easy life and I was more religious then. In fact I was the most religious person in my family and now I am the least religious.

Sister! You are so right. All this is emotional blackmailing , but never submit to the pressure. Focus on your career and try to become independent. And don't marry anyone just to please your parents or other people. Don't settle. All the people back home, who are telling you to settle, they are only interested in you because you live in west. They can take their own advice and settle with someone in their own city.

Yes, exactly!!!!

I think power corrupts people. In recent years WF people have gained so much power. While Akhbaris look aggressive with their lanats and cursing, WF people are the ones who act like gangsters. And akhbaris have become oppressed. The biggest problem with WF is that supporters apply this theory to everyday life and they insist that every family and every community needs to have one leader only who needs to have absolute power. He needs to have control over all the money. I am not sure if Khamenei is the biggest bully and most cruel person in Iran but the people WF supporters choose as leaders in families are usually the biggest bullies and cruel people. I will agree to one thing: WF supporters are intelligent and akhbaris look aggressive but they are actually less dangerous. I was a strong supporter of usulis for a long time but WF people have disappointed me. I do not support WF.

This also applies to people sacrificing for their lovers or any other political or religious causes.

Another very interesting post I read on facebook: Whenever politicians start talking in mystical terms, beware. They might be trying to disguise and excuse real suffering by wrapping it up in big incomprehensible words. Be particularly careful about the following four words: sacrifice, eternity, purity and redemption. If you hear any of these, sound the alarm. And if you happen to live in a country whose leader routinely says things like "their sacrifice will redeem the purity of our eternal nation", know that you are in deep trouble. To save your sanity, always try to translate such hogwash into real terms: a soldier crying in agony, a woman beaten and brutalized, a child shaking in fear. So true, I hate these words, because whenever people around me have used these words, they always result in pain and suffering for me.

I found a very interesting post on facebook by someone named saddam Jamali, which explains why this woman charges so much money and why men are willing to pay so much. If you buy a second-hand Fiat for $2000 , you are likely to complain about it to anyone willing to hear. But if you buy a brand-new Ferrari for $200,000, you will sing its praises far and wide, not because it is such a good car, but because you have paid so much money for it that you must believe it is the most wonderful thing in the world. Even in romance, any aspiring Romeo or Werther knows that without sacrifice, there is not true love. The sacrifice is not just a way to convince your lover that you are serious-it is also a way to convince yourself that you are really in love. Why do you think women ask their lovers to bring them diamond rings? Once the lover makes such a huge financial sacrifice, he must convince himself that it was for a worthy cause.

I have noticed many people are using this word and telling people to choose a life of dignity. I just want to understand what's the dignified option in different matters we face in life. Most people have to deal with bullies all their lives. There are some bullies who want to put you through verbal, physical or emotional abuse. They really get satisfaction by seeing you go through pain. While there are other types of bullies who are not mean , but they ask you for a lot of money in exchange for giving you protection. I try to take the abuse as much as I can, but I often choose the easier option: giving people everything I have because I cannot talk humiliation. Some people would argue the taking abuse is the more dignified option, since you are practically a slave if you give your hard earned money to someone else. People say that single women face harassment while married women deal with other kinds of abuse but at least they don't deal with harassment. They use this argument to say that only married life is a dignified life for women. I disagree with this, it's true that you can still face abuse as a single woman but still it's not as bad as compared to the abuse women face after marriage. In this case, I am ready to take the less dignified option. Another example would be taking harassment from a man or taking abuse from a woman. Which option has more dignity?

Imran Khan and his party are like Abbasids. The only reason you don't hear negative reports about them is because they are so cruel and they deal very harshly with anyone who criticizes them. I have seen people who support him and they are all corrupt, cruel people who are against women, disabled people and all marginalized groups. I think they have even started forced marriages of women. They are using religion and hatred of west to turn people into extremists.

Haha, your reasoning is always so funny. My parents have been telling me to get married to someone overseas. I think I will use this excuse to say I cannot get married to someone overseas.

Thank you so much. May Allah give relief to all people who are going through a hard time.

If she was getting $1000 per month or dealing with any kind of abuse, she would be a victim. With $10-15K, she is not a victim, she is very greedy and entitled. This thread makes me sad. I have seen sugar babies on Dr. Phil. Most of americans even find this behavior disgusting while we muslims are trying to justify this. I am not able to get rid of one man in my life. After 4 years of divorce, he still finds ways to haunt me and this woman gets rid of so many men so easily. She must be very powerful.

The worst part is the amount of money they are spending on her. Men make their wives work so hard in exchange for only food and shelter. So many men have called me a burden and they are spending so much money on one woman. They could support so many orphans and women with this much money.