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In the Name of God بسم الله


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rkazmi33 last won the day on February 18 2022

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  1. The article also mentions that those children, who have a secure bond with their mothers are more intelligent. I think it's not true for only children. I was more intelligent until I had a close relationship with my mother. Ever since I lost that relationship, I feel more alone and I get overwhelmed when I have to solve any problem.
  2. I want to add that sometimes we are feeling anxiety and it's easy to confuse that with other feelings. I stopped taking my anxiety medicine and I was feeling so many emotions, I was constantly irritated. You might want to try anxiety medicine.
  3. I remember watching a friends episode in which Joey used a hands gesture to hint that a woman was "curvy". I have noticed that hand gesture is being used too much especially by scholars in my community. It's a common gesture and I understand that some people may use it unknowingly but when it's repeated over and over again, you know it's a deliberate attempt at shaming curvy women. I know that they are trying to get people to become healthier but why only focus on women? And this is a very bad method, it only makes me angry. They also keep talking about breastfeeding which is another way to sexualize and shame curvy women. I tried to find anything on the internet which can show that this hand gesture is inappropriate and sexual harassment but I couldn't find anything. Can someone please help me find anything which I can share? It's so hurtful!!!! You can expect this behavior from non-muslims but when it's coming from your own Muslim community, especially scholars in Islamic center, it's just disgusting. It seems like a trend. First I saw my coworkers doing it and now Muslim scholars are following the trend.
  4. That's interesting. I have always been harassed by men who are short and skinny. I can tell they are hypersexual even if they are married. I have also seen over weight men, who are respectful towards me even if they are single. If over eating increases sexual desires, why are so many skinny, short guys creeps? I can only remember 1 or 2 men who were overweight and creepy, all others were thin. The strange thing is, they are allowed, encouraged to be creepy and no one tells them they are inappropriate. I think as a society, we just hate over weight people and we examine their behavior closely while we give free pass to skinny people.
  5. I don't have high standards. There's just one short creepy type of men I dislike. That's because at every job, everywhere I go, the same kind of man becomes obsessed with me. After dealing with them for 15 + years, I am so done and I have been expressing my hate very openly. But it's like I have given my weakness to my enemies. Now only that type of men are presented to me as options. Our culture is like that. If we express dislike for one specific type of person, we are forced to marry that kind of person. Yes, forcing a marriage of retarded person is so shocking. Even in Pakistan, people are not that cruel with their kids. But I mentioned it to give an idea that if a retarded girl is being forced to get married, you can imagine how much pressure other women have to face.
  6. It's a myth that if a guy is less than girl, he will treat her like princess. I married an average guy, but he expected me to do all the housework with a full time job. He constantly criticized me for my looks and compared me to other women. Now there's another guy who is below average. Because I am old and divorced, so I deserve below average. I would have considered him but he is so insecure and jealous. He is jealous of the men I watch on TV. He wants me to stop watching TV and wants me to move to Iran, probably so that he can keep me locked inside a house and never let me meet another man ever. He is abusive in a different way but he is abusive. He has so many spies, who accuse me of cheating whenever I look happy. He is NOT treating me like a princess. I have also seen men settling for women who are not equal to them in looks and intelligence. Many cunning people use the tactic of "you won't find anyone better than me" to trap people in relationships. Mostly, they are lying/exaggerating. I just don't understand that why a woman cannot remain single if she cannot find a suitable match? Incels, who are desperate to get married, can marry younger women or bring women from other countries. In my parent's generation, I knew women who remained single. For some reason, this has become a big issue for my generation. If a soldier is wounded in war, you give them time to heal before sending them back to battlefield. When women get out of abusive relationships, they are not given time to heal. People just want to force them in another relationship. In my community, I heard about a retarded girl getting married. She has mental age of less than 10. This is pure ignorance. We see every member of community in terms of what he/she can do for community. Every woman must be used to create shia children but who will raise children of those parents who don't have resources?
  7. This is the problem with hadiths. Too many people take hadiths literally without using any common sense. They are like robots we see in dystopian movies. If they are told, they have to stop people from cheating and drinking alcohol, they will do it like crazy robots, punishing all the people they suspect are drinking or cheating. That's why I get worried about every new hadith that's repeated frequently. I know that's the next thing which will be shoved down our throats.
  8. Most people I know can easily spend 4 or 5 hours everyday just talking, and that interaction includes criticizing each other, being mean without any reason. That's why I thought those people invented this Hadith to justify their own lifestyle.
  9. I often hear a Hadith by Imam Musa Kazim which says we have to divide our day in 4 parts: 1 part is for earning money, 1 part is for worship, 1 part is for sleeping/entertainment and 1 part is for spending with family and community. I have a problem with spending 6 hours in social interactions. For many people, social interaction IS entertainment, so they are in fact spending 12 hours in entertainment/sleeping. Also, doesn't Islam tell us to talk less? Sometimes even 5 minute conversation with someone can ruin my whole day. Can you imagine someone talking for 6 hours? How many sins they will commit? You have to interact with family and community so that they can inform you about your faults. If we follow this advice and listen to our faults for 6 hours daily, that will be so bad for mental health. Is this Hadith authentic?
  10. I beg to differ. You should read this thread Akhbari people have their defects but the other crowd is far from perfect. They don't talk about variety of subjects, they only talk about wealthy and successful people being better than others and they only shame people who are unsuccessful in their careers or personal life. I think sunni speakers aren't much better. If people like Andrew Tate and Jordon Peterson are getting interested in Islam, I can guess what sunni speakers talk about. I think akhbaris have just become an easy target because they are fewer in number. At least they don't give anxiety or depression to their audience.
  11. Am I the only one who thinks N95 masks have weird shape? They look like a face cover for a dog. Some immature people wear them not because of COVID but some kind of sick joke and then they look at me like they are trying to provoke me. If they are meant to be offensive, why didn't woke crowd notice?
  12. I just watched the movie limitless. It came out in 2011 and that's when I remember my life changed. Everyone became smarter overnight. I remember I had average intelligence but after 2011, I feel like the dumbest person everywhere I go. People call me blind and it really feels like I am a blind person trying to navigate in a world where everyone else has been blessed with sight. I am thinking that limitless is not just a science fiction, it's inspired by reality and true events which happened in 2011. I am looking for someone to just give a hint to the few people who don't have access to whatever medicine or technology which is making everyone smarter. I am not lying, I really was considered smart before 2011. I remember strangers meeting me in the way strangers are supposed to meet someone for first time. When you meet someone for first time, you are awkward, trying to be nice, trying to make a good impression. But now, even strangers look at me like they know everything about me and they are judging me. The kind of transformation that Bradley Cooper's character went through, I saw the same transformation happening to my family members, my co-workers. I don't know what sin I committed due to which I was left out but I am just so tired of this constant struggle.
  13. Whenever government changes in Pakistan, I live in US but I can feel its effects. My community and Islamic center change their whole ideology and messages. I remember the time of Musharraf being very peaceful and positive. And that's why I have respect for him and I am sad at his death. I don't know what kind of Muslim he was, but he certainly helped me become a better Muslim. I felt closest to my faith during his time.
  14. Dear brothers and sisters! I am once again asking for prayers. Past few months were good, so I became careless but so many people have started attacking me at once. Please pray for me to be saved from these people.
  15. I think the worst example of cancel culture was what happened in amber heard case. The amount of hate she received was making me angry. I also find it strange that one man assaults bunch of women and they just keep quiet about it for decades and one day all his victims meet by some miracle and decide to take revenge. Cheating and assaults are fairly common in American culture. I believe most people have done it at some point in their life, yet we only focus on few people and only punish them. I understand that their victims are angry at them but this outrage of millions of people looks like theatrical performance. This cancel culture has also been adopted by communities. In my community, people are cancelled, they are bullied until they leave to go live in another city or move back to Pakistan. I have been dealing with cancel culture for past 4 years and that's why I hate it so much. I think cancel culture started with Monica Lewinsky. She gave a Ted talk about it and I was surprised that she has earned so much respect but even after 17 years, she had so much pain on her face when she was talking about 1998. People think only celebrities get cancelled but common people people can also get cancelled by their community or family. The most ridiculous part of cancel culture is whether the crime is one wrong social media post or something big like rape, the punishment is same.
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