labaikYaZahra

You people are blowing it out of proportion.  Attraction takes time.  It's better that it starts as little than increases over time, rather than it start lofty and overblown and then come crashing down.  It can only go up, not down. 

I have to disagree with you on this point & frankly I find it waaay too harsh to call non-Hijabi
Muslimas hypocritical. Of course Hijab is wajib
& is required but to call someone hypocritical
just because they fail to adhere to Islam 100% is
in itself hypocritical as well. You can say the
same about some brothers who just don't bother
to pray & I know some fathers are like that. Yet
they look at the sons of their friends with
contempt just cuz they don't pray. Or the
mothers whose daughters are complete sluts,
yet
they have the audacity to point the finger at
other Muslim daughters.
All of this is hypocritical attitude & behavior &
Islam did not call for it's followers to participate in it. Frankly, I've known non-Hijabis who were
more "Muslim" & had more deen in their akhlaq than Hijabis did. Talk about irony..

These are my fav for girls:
Ruqayah
Sukaina
Leyla
Batoul
Ru2a
narjis
And for boys
Yaseen
Yousef
Sajjad
ammar
Hussain
And haydar

If a woman doesn't want her husband to ever marry a second wife be it temporary or permanently, she should make it one of her nikah conditions that he cannot marry again without her permission, if he disagrees he can go find someone else and this will prevent problems in the future.

2:177 Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah , the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives zakah; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise; and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous.
 
In several places the Quran emphasises the important of fulfilling promises. Polygamy is not obligatory, it is not something people are told to do, but are allowed to do. Fulfilling promises is something people are told to do.

It amazes me that "men" can so strictly follow the 4 wives rule yet lack in almost every other aspect of Islam.
 
And what amazes me more is that they can admit that they are slaves to their desires, bound to animalistic behaviors, unable to control their minds.
 
And what yet still amazes me even more than that is the fact that they can compare themselves to the Prophets and Imams, and compare their present or future wives to the Prophets and Imams past wives. Get a grip on yourselves, you don't compare to their shoes. 
 
Who in their right mind would want to be married to a "man" who is controlled by his desires alone, has no respect for others and thinks he's comparable to any holy figures?
 
And one last point for all you "men" out there that expect the women to "understand". If I were you and a woman gave me permission, I would be HIGHLY HIGHLY insulted, and I would be scared if I were you. 
 
Of course this whole post is regarding people that practice polytheistic marriages for desire. However, it's important to remember each case is unique and different. 

A mother tells the story of her son who martyred while fighting the Zionists in 2006.
 

This is a true story about the benefit of Ziarayt Ashura and asking Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì and Ahlulbayt (as) for help. The story is about marriage. This is how it starts:

 

Safa is a 22 years old muslim girl living in the west. She recently graduated from University and was completing her internship at a pharmacy located in a Jewish community. She was a young girl with lots of love for ahlulbayt and Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. She was constantly in self jihad while exposed to the corruption of the world and the materialistic nature of life. The amount of corruption she was seeing at work made her think that marriage was necessary for her protection from any evil. She has never thought of marriage before. She doesn't socialise with the opposite gender. She was having a hard time at work. She would listen to dua Jabrail every morning while driving to work and ask Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì to protect her. She was getting marriage proposals every now and then but her parents reject the proposals and don't speak to her about marriage.

 

Safa was shy to tell her parents that she now wants to get married and they should ask her opinion before refusing a marriage proposal. She was used to asking for her needs from Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. She made dua to Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì asking him to help her in getting  married. "Ya Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, please help me get married. I feel I need a life partner". After few weeks Safa repeated the dua but this time adding "Ya Allah I don't think I can wait, please I want to get married. If I get engaged now and then break up with the guy, I would not complain. I feel I really need a partner in my life this period of time". Subhanalla in a few days, Safa's parents were approaching her and telling her about marriage proposals and they were asking her opinion! In the month of October, she got 5 marriage proposals and she was confused. Didn't know what to choose. Her parents were happy with the last proposal. He was from a good family, religious and well mannered.  His family came from the same village as her parents back in their home country. 

 

The parents have arranged for Safa to speak with Ahmad to get to know each other. She couldn't speak to him face to face because he worked in mining in a rural area. He was living miles away from the city that she lived in. Safa wanted to know more about him. They would speak every day over the phone and after few weeks, Safa felt that she was becoming more attached to him. She thanked Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì for the blessing of having someone new in her life. He made her forget her misery at work. Ahmad's parents arranged for him to travel to the city so that he meets Safa and they read the fatiha. Safa still has not decided whether she will go ahead with it. Saying yes to marrying Ahmad means that she will have to live in a rural area where there is little civilisation and she would  have to give up her friends and family and career. Although Ahmad's only interest would be talking about his work, PHD and his wealth, Safa loved him. She found him confident while others found him arrogant and rude. She found him busy while others were saying he is a negligent person. A few times he would break her heart and she would call onto Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì please don't let anyone break a heart that contains love for the ahlulbayt (as).... It has now been 4 weeks that they have been talking to each other but he was too busy to come and finalise the engagement... She was feeling heartbroken.

 

Interestingly, Ahmad sent his sister in law who lives in Melbourne to go and ask for Safa’s hand on his behalf. The sister in law visits Safa's house and asks for Safa’s hand in marriage for her own brother! When Ahmad found out he was furious and he said he is coming to Melbourne as soon as he gets the chance. 

 

One day, something strange happened. Safa dreamt that she received an email from Ahmad. In the email, he apologised and he will try his best to come to the city as soon as he can. He spoke about how her parents were very educated and he appreciated their co-operation. Safa was very surprised when at night, while talking to Ahmad, he sent her a text message with the same words and sentences that she read in her dream! Not a single word was changed! Subhanalla.

 

Safa and Ahmad continued to talk on the phone and plan their future together. Safa reached a stage were she would be devastated if she doesn't hear from Ahmad for a few hours. She thanked Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì for sending her a partner that she dearly loved and cared about. Safa was finding it strange that she would have dreams about Ahmad texting or emailing her things and these dreams were becoming reality every time. For instance, she dreamt of a text from him and that same day, she received the exact same text she saw in the dream!.....

 

After weeks of waiting, Ahmad messages her: Prince Ahmad is coming, I suggest u take time off work... Safa was so excited to meet him. She couldn't sleep from excitement. Ahmad arrived. He was only staying in the city for 3 days. He called her to arrange appointment with her parents. She told him their availability but she was very offended when he said he was busy and he prefers to come on the weekend. "My dad is at work on Saturday" Safa told him. "Okies, well this is my availability, I will leave it with you guys" Ahmad replied. Safa was furious at how rude and arrogant he was. If he finished his PHD, her parents were specialist doctors! Why is he so snobby!

 

Safa met Ahmad. She loved him. She was very afraid to lose him.They went out for lunch to discuss living arrangements:

Ahmad: "I will get you a house in the closest city to the mine I work at and once a week during my days off I will come and visit you". 

Safa: " So I will move out of my city and live in a foreign city with no family and no friends? And then you will only come to visit me?"

Ahmad: "Yeh we will miss each other more that way" 

Safa: "Even if I say yes, my parents wont accept it. They will be worried if something happened and there is no one there with me eg fire, sickness... "

Ahmad: "Okies when you get kids, you wouldn't be living alone. You will be busy with the kids. Maybe your parents will accept me coming to visit you on my days off?"

 

Safa knew he was being unreasonable and selfish but she couldn't help love him so much.

 

Safa had a strange dream. She dreamt that she was in her room studying for her pharmacy exam. Her mobile rings. She reads the text. It was from Ahmad; saying for the past few months, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He loved her and couldn't live without her. Safa sighed and deleted his message. "Whatever!" she thought to herself. Few minutes later, her studying is again disturbed. Her phone rings and it is Ahmad's sister in law. She was begging Safa to go back to Ahmad because he cant live without her. Safa listened to the sister in law and didnt say anything. The dream then shows Ahmad's dad speaking to her dad. He told her dad that Ahmad is very sorry and he regrets everything he has done. Ahmad's father asked Safa's father if it is possible for Safa to marry Ahmad. Her dad said "No". Ahmad's father kept beggining Safa's father but every time her dad will reply: "No". Finally as Ahmad's father was insisting, Safa's father said it was all up to Safa. 

 

 Ahmad was back in the mine and his mum was calling every day to ask for an answer. His mum spoke to people to call Safa's parents and convince them to say yes. One of the ladies whom Ahmad's mother asked to speak to Safa's mum was a lady that practises black magic in secret (Ahmad's mum did not know). She had one daughter that she wanted to marry away. 

 

Safa's dad said he doesn't want to talk about marriage till the 10th of Muharam was over. The 10th of Muharam was only 4 days away. The parents told Safa to think about it and give them an answer when she is ready. Safa was in a dilemma. If a day passes without her hearing Ahmad's voice, she will die. Yet if Ahmad tells her to pack her bags and leave her family and friends behind, she would be reluctant and depressed. 

 

 On the 10th of Muharram Safa didn't speak to Ahmad. Speaking to him makes her euphoric due to her uncontrollable love for him. Out of respect for Imam Hussein (as) she switched off her phone and didn't speak to him. She went out to a park and read dua jawshan Kabir and dua jabrael (as) and asked Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì to help her make the right decision. She knew that even if it was the right thing to reject Ahmad's proposal she would never have the heart to do it. She can't say no to him. She loved him more than anyone. She had a dream that night that she was in a large beautfiul meadow and she was surrounded by light. She was smiling and dancing and looking at the light in the meadow. It was such a tranquil soul touching dream.

 

When Safa woke up, she heard her mum speaking on the phone to Ahmad's mum. Safa really missed having that relationship with Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì were you think of Him ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì all day. You speak to him. He is your God, family, friend and everything. Since she met Ahmad, her whole life was becoming Ahmad. She wanted to go back  to being the old her. WHAT!? She heard her mum say to Ahmad's mum that it was all over?! She finds out that Ahmad's mum was very rude on the phone and she screamed at her mum. She was offended that Safa's father didn't give an answer because he was waiting for the 10th of Muharam. She found it too much for her son to handle the wait. She didn't think that Safa's family had to wait a few months before prince Ahmad came to the city to propose. Hypocrisy. Safa's mum was saying that once that lady became an intermediate between her and Ahma's mum, there were problems and misunderstandings between the two families.  

 

Safa didn't comprehend that it was all over. She called Ahmad to understand what happened. Ahmad told her that people were breaking away the relationship and he spoke to his mum about not talking to such people or having them as intermediates. 

 

Ahmad: "Safa I have been thinking about our marriage. It doesn't seem right. I can't do it. I can't expect you to sacrifice everything for me. I have this strange feeling. I dunno a feeling I can't describe. I don't think it will work out. Safa you are a girl that ticked all my boxes but there is no naseeb...

 

He said it with such a cold tone that Safa was wondering whether he was human. Whether he had any emotions at all.

 

She was hurt. Hurt very badly. In a few minutes her grandmother who still doesn't know what happened, sent her a chain text about being thankful for Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì putting people in your life. 'Some of these people leave you and are a lesson for you while the good ones stay for you and are a blessing for you'. Subhanalla. 

 

Safa was in so much pain that no word can describe it. She would have preferred someone to chop her into pieces than have this heart ache and emotional pain. She stayed in her room staring at the walls. She thanked Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì and thought to herself: Me and my family put respect for imam hussein (as) and I asked him to look after my marriage. What happened now is best for me. Hamdulla.

 

Every now and then Safa would pick up her mobile to message Ahmad and then she would remember that its over. She cried herself to sleep every night. In fact she did not sleep for many nights. She would replay their memories together. She would remember his very painful words: "There is no naseeb" and feel her heart weep blood. There was no life for her without Ahmad. 

 

Every time Safa would walk in the streets and see a couple, she would say with a tear rolling down “Ya Allah, please keep them together and don’t let anyone taste the pain I am tasting”. 

 

Now that it was over between Safa and Ahmad, Ahmad’s sister in law came again and again to ask for Safa’s hand for her brother! 

 

Her parent's thought she was doing very well. Little did they know that she was able to hide her pain very well. Her mum told her that while she was thinking about Safa and Ahmad, this strange lebanese lady came to her in the shopping centre and started telling her about her daughter: "My daughter got engaged and was very happy. He was good guy from our village. All of a sudden he calls and says he doesn't want to get married. But Subhanalla my daughter had a proposal later from a guy from different village but her treats her like a queen. He bought her houses and looks after her. Hamdulla, never think that someone from your own people will be better". 

 

Safa has not been having dreams for a while but then she dreamt that her uncle who has not spoken to her in years messaged her on viber.  She was astonished when her uncle did message her that very same day with the same text message she dreamt about. Safa was now thinking: If my dreams are coming true, does it mean that the dream about Ahmad and his father begging me to marry Ahmad is going to become reality? She was very hopeful that it will happen and she will see Ahmad again. For the next few months, she would see ayat from the Holy quran as she closes her eyes and this would help calm her tortured soul and allow her to sleep. She read about the importance of astighfar and she decided to do astighfar every time she thought of Ahmad. She knows she ought to do astighfar because Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì has chosen what is best for her. He ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì saved her from living in the desert with a person she knows won’t make a good husband or father figure. Her life would have been hell living with this man alone in the desert. Hamdulla she got saved yet her heart was still pumping with love for Ahmad. 

 

Her parents took her and her friends on a holiday for a few days. Yet, all Safa can hear is Ahmad. All she can see is Ahmad. She didn't feel alive anymore. She had a big hole in her heart that nothing will repair.  The only way she stayed alive is via worshipping. She would pray and read dua and Quran and then burst crying and ask Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì to help her.  She found a website speaking about something she never heard of it. It was about Hadith Qudsi. She read these beautiful ahadith and they comforted her and made her try to back away from life and forget Ahmad. In the hotel, she would wake up before Fajar and sit in her balcony facing the beach and contemplate on life. She read Dua Jawshan kabir and Dua Jabraeil (as) and asked Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì for the rank and love He ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì has for Imam Ali (as) to ease her pain. She went to sleep hoping to have a dream that will comfort her. After Fajar she dreamt that she was walking and an underground staircase appeared for her. She looked at it and out of curiosity she went down some steps till she saw a door at the end of the Staircase. On the door was a picture of Imam Ali (as) and the door was half open. She had a rush of excitement thinking that Imam Ali (as) was very close by! She wanted to run down the stairs and go meet the Imam. It was very dark though and she couldn’t see what was behind the door. She started to look at the stairs that she was walking on. She noticed that every step had writing in Arabic. Each step has a verse from Dua Kumail. As she read the verse, she would move down one step. This continued until she was half way down the stairs leading to the door. Her mum woke her up and Safa couldn’t continue her dream.

 

 

It was 2am and she was trying to sleep. She was having memories. Memories of her various jobs and the corruption she faced at each place. Memories of her Muslim boss accusing her with no justice. Bad memories were flying from all directions and attacking her brain. The most painful of all- memories of Ahmad and how he walked out of her life… It was the first time that she started screaming as if to take out all these memories out of her life. She was also crying helplessly ‘Ya Allah help me’. She was in too much pain. She remembered the tranquillity she gets when she does astighfar and she started doing it till she slept. She had a dream that she was in a large hall in a castle- looks like Hogwarts and there were strange looking creatures much taller than her dressed in black and others in white. She was looking at them with curiosity. All of a sudden someone dressed in black approaches her and puts his hand on her and spins her as If she was a ball. She begins to have painful memories of Ahmad and starts crying and screaming her soul out. The creature will not go and let her be. She heard a voice tell her to do astghfar so that she is safe. She recites astighfar and BANG the black dressed creature runs away and leaves her alone. Memories of Ahmad then fade. Then there was a change in scenery and Safa sees herself in the dream trembling and looking at floor not daring to look up. She was trembling so much out of fear and respect. She felt she was facing Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. Subhanalla. When she woke up she could not believe it. The answer to her misery is astighfar.  How kind is her Lord that he does not leave his servants suffering. How kind and merciful is the creator such that he gives us a key to take us out of misery. How great is Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì that he comforts us and shows us His ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì concern and love? 

 

Now that it has been a few weeks, Safa’s mum was talking to her about marriage. Safa has a new proposal. Although she explained to her mum she does not trust men and would rather not marry, her mum insisted that she gives this man a chance. This marriage did not work out. 

 

It was now February 2013- 2 months after she broke off with Ahmad. She decided that she wants to get married in order to forget Ahmad and seal her wounded heart. She would pray to Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì every day to send her a good husband who will love her more than she loves him. A husband that Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì chooses for her. Someone who will make her happy in this life and hereafter. She was feeling empty and feeling she needs someone. Her brother was getting married in September this year and she hoped that she would find Mr. Right before then. She did not want to attend her brother’s wedding with a pained heart. She wrote a letter to Imam Mahdi (as) and asked him to look after her marriage and her desire to get married was growing stronger day after day. She was in self Jihad, protecting her soul and telling herself to be patient. She would sometimes cry from how strong the urges to get married were getting. Yet, she knew she will never upset her Lord ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì and commit a major sin. She will preserve till the end. She knew that if Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì made girlfriend/ boyfriend relationships haram and he created human kind weak with lusts and desires, then he would no doubt help us in getting married so that we don’t fall into haram. Every day she would read dua and ask Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì to help her in getting married. 

 

 Safa has had few proposals over the past few months but every time it didn't work out. She was beginning to feel hopeless. Maybe it’s me? But for the past few months every time she was feeling hopeless, Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì would give her a dream that foreshadows marriage. She once dreamt she had very unique earrings no one had. Another time she dreamt she was drinking cup of water which means marriage and fertility. Another time she dreamt of her husband dressed in white making tasbih. She also dreamt about a lady giving her beads and telling her to make a masbaha and Safe completed a beautiful masbaha that had the exact 34 beads….. 

 

She read on the internet about reading Ziayarat Sayda Zainab (as), praying two rakat and asking for ones needs. In the dua the reader needs to say: “Ya Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì for the love between Imam Hussein and sayda Zainab that moment they said farewell please answer my wishes”. Safa was in tears when she got to this phrase and she did not dare read that verse because to her nothing in the world is comparable to that moment Imam Hussein (as) farewelled Sayda Zainab (as). Her wish is so trivial and unworthy of that moment whatsoever. She went to sleep. In the dream she saw herself in front of this beautiful hazra in a mosque and it was very peaceful. The view in the dream was changing from being close shot to long shot and Safa saw that the beautiful green grass in the mosque yard was growing so fast! When she woke up, she goggled mosques and went through the images. She found a photo of the mosque/ hazra she was at. It was the hazra of Sayda Zainab (as)! Subhanalla. The grass also represents marriage according to dream interpretation. She had another promising proposal that did not work out. 

 

Safa wanted to know why all these marriage proposals aren’t working out. She visited Sayd Fatima Zahra (as) and asked her to intercede with Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì to show her why. She dreamt that she was in the sky on the cloud standing next to her father and mother. This young man was standing on the other side speaking to her father. “Uncle, I want to marry….”. Safa was surpised: “Who is this young man asking for my hand?”. The man then contined his sentence: “But Uncle I can not marry your daughter Safa because she is sayda nasah al sabireen (the leader of the ladies of patience”. When Safa heard this in the dream her soul trembled and she woke up…. Subahanalla could she have reached such a rank? Subhanalla

 

It was 2 months away from September and Safa had hope that Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì will find her Mr.Right before he brother’s wedding. She decided to read Ziarayt Ashura for 40 days and ask for her needs. She would ask Imam Hussein (as) every day after Ziarayt Ashura to help her marry someone whom Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì and He (as) will choose for her. She was very hopeful that in 40 days she will be engaged. This calmed her impatient soul down and calmed her lusts and desires. One day she was driving with her friend in the afternoon and she receives an email. It was from Ahmad. “Okies, why is he sending me a picture of the moon that he took with his new camera? GET AWAY AHMAD!” Safa thought to herself and she deleted his email. She heard from her sister that Ahmad called her brother few days ago and told him he is in Sydney and he wants to catch up. It is very strange because Ahmad and her brother were never friends. Her brother told Ahmad that he can not make it because he is busy. He clearly did not want to see Ahmad after everything. 2 days later, Safa gets a text message from Ahmad saying hello and asking how she is. He also told her to come to the lectures in this new mosque.  Safa was angry and not interested replying to him. “What the hell does he think he is doing? Showing up 8 months later messaging me and trying to enter my life again. No way! I won’t put myself through that pain anymore.” She told her mum about what is happening. 

 

Safa’s mum told Safa how she had a dream that a Sayed entered her bedroom. Was interesting. Her sister in law also had a dream that her and Safa were wearing a white wedding dress together. 

 

Safa did not want Ahmad back. He caused her enormous pain. She will never want to see his face yet alone live with him. Ahmad was having people intervening and speaking to Safa’s family in order for them to come back to each other. Subahnalla how Allah's mercy is so great that he hears the cry of the oppressed.

 

In few days time, Safa’s dad asks her for her pharmacies address. She found that request strange but she replied to him while she was at work with the address. In a day or so, her parents told her she has a proposal. It was from a young man who came and saw her in the pharmacy. She spoke to him and sold him a product! Safa remembered this Iraqi lady coming with her son asking what the difference between panadol and nurofen. The truth is that she did not feel compatible with that man from the perspective of physical appearance. He was triple her size, very dark skinned and was shy and quiet. Nevertheless, she decided to give him a go. He was coming over with his family tomorrow afternoon. 

 

This was the day she would meet the dude. She was sitting with his mum and sister and they were very nice ladies. They were getting along with her mum and sisters. Safa’s brother knocks on the door and tells her to come to the men’s lounge room because the guy requested to speak to her. She was so shy but she has been through this many times. She walked already knowing how he looks like. She was taken back for a few minutes! This guy was a different one. He was tall, body built and very fair. He started talking and was very confident. They spent hours talking and getting to know each other. 

 

Safa asked her dad what he thinks about the guy named kazim and his family and her dad said they seemed like very good and religious people. As soon as Kazim’s dad entered the lounge room and met her dad he said: “This is the son of Fatima Al Zahra (as) asking for your daughter’s hands in marriage”. Kazim was a Sayed- from the progeny of Imam Kazim (as).

 

The parents gave permission for Kazim to speak to Safa over the phone or internet. They spoke to each other every day and they would discuss topics such as religious, social and cultural. Kazim would give Safa a link to a website and then they would speak on the phone and discuss its contents. They even read and discussed topics about Conflict in marriage. Safa found herself compatible with kazim’s thoughts and he was a very sensitive, loving and caring person. Although Safa and her parents have not given a final answer, Kazim’s mum took her shopping and bought her an engagement ring and a white dress. Safa has been going shopping for the past few months looking for a dress for her brother’s wedding. She found a JOVANI one she loved. But she felt it was too expensive. She ended up buying another one for her brother’s wedding. When she went shopping with Kazim’s mum, Kazim’s mum took her to few dress shops because kazim wanted to buy Safa a white dress for the engagement. No shop would have her size in a white dress because the shops only carry few sizes because designer dresses need to be ordered 6 weeks before an event. Subahanalla they step into a shop and it had a white dress in her size. It was not any dress. It was the dress she loved and wanted to get for her brother’s wedding! She bought that dress and thanked Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì for making her happy and giving her way more than she deserves. kazim and his sister were already planning the engagement! He told her on the phone that they have planned for the engagement on Sunday the 11th of August. Safa looked on the calendar and gasped!!! Sunday 11th of August would be day 40 of her Ziayart Ashura!!!!!!!! Subahanalla

 

Did she really need to think about this marriage proposal? Her parent’s were not happy because everything was happening quick and they have not thought about it properly. Safa told her parents about Ziarayt Ashura and how it was clear this was Mr. Right. She convinced her parents to say yes but the engagement was postponed 2 weeks till her parents had enough time to ask about the guy and inform the relatives.

 

Subhanalla now that Safa has been with Kazim for few months, she thanks Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì everyday for such a wonderful husband. Talking about him and how they complete each other would take hundreds of pages. But Subhanalla she ffound it amazing that Kazim was telling her how he went through many marriage proposals and they all didn't work out. He saw a dream of Imam Mahdi (as) telling him that he will choose a girl for him. Subahanalla

 

Also, his grandmother who passed away is a very pious lady. In hospital when she was in her death bed, she dreamt of Aba Fazal ab Abas coming and curing her. When she woke up, she was  healthy. She would visit kazim in his dreams and tell him her advise about the girls he was proposing too. She told him not to marry every time he proposed to a girl. She told him to wait for the honest girl. Subhanalla how patience pays off and Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì is the one who is the best planner. He is most compassionate and merciful. 

 

 Hamdulla

 

Allahma Sali ala Muhammad wa al muhamad.

(bismillah)
(salam)No. There is a difference between an infallible Imam/Ayatullah/Hujjatullah and a regular fallible person that appoints himself with the titles of the infallibles. Khums, according to the Qur'an, goes to the Prophet (sawa), his family, or their representatives. Imam Mahdi (atfs) said that anyone who claims to be a representative of him during the greater occultation is a liar. Therefore, until the Imam reappears, Khums is either not obligatory OR you spend it in the way of the Imam (i.e. donating to charity, helping the Ummah, building masajid, etc). My personal thoughts lean towards the latter as I don't think Khums suddenly loses it's status as wajib during the occultation. I simply reject the idea of paying it to a single, fallible person that gives himself the titles that belong to the ma'sumeen and who calls himself a representative of the Imam (as). Taqleed is a business. A very profitable one at that.
(wasalam)

Here is the audio recording of me reading this poem: http://planetmoderan.net/mp3/mother.mp3

She & I

A Poem by "Aqua"

 

Safe and sound only when lying on the scarred battlefield that is her heart, riddled with the trails of the shorthand of the clock ticking away at the night.

Those nights she clawed at the fabric of time, yanking back the past with the tenacity of Thor’s grip.

It was I who tended to her wounds as she carried on with the strength of an army in her hands, her fingers like mountains - immovable.

Compressed by the severity of this love, I did not know how to replicate such strength. Her hands a poultice over my overflowing eyes, my frail, tender fingers.

Weak - save for when wielding a pen.

Her hands and my fingers.

Her heart and my eyes, mirrored and refracted by past events that toll on the clock.

In the absence of the arms of love, she remained constant. And I a shadow.

Unheard. Unseen.

Yet when she falls I envelop her in velvet arms. I remain constant. And she a mountain.

An avalanche.

Her feet and my hair, coiled brown tendrils gone soft with years of waiting. Her feet cracked like dry mud in the earth have yet to see a drop of water.

My tears. The rain from my eyes soothe and strengthen her sore feet, healing and sealing the cracks.

My smile and her eyes.

She stands tall at the edge of a precipice and forces the corners of my mouth to turn up with just one look. My eyes still rain.

I am dangerously strong.

The etchings around her eyes bear the injustice of years wasted in indifference.

I watch and watch, a sponge to her self-sovereignty.

How I yield to her and no one else, spreading bare my weakness at her feet, a testament to paradise, to the very ground that she walks on.

The avalanche of her love a daily occurrence. And in time I will shower her with my rain of love so that gardens grow at the cracks of her feet, and rivers will flow on the mountains of her fingers.

An immovable mountain and a soft rain undeniable.

She loved me with the force of a rapid rockfall, and I her with the constant downpour of a rain that nurtures the earth.

Her river veins and my shoulders, now wider than hers ever were, carry the strength in which she nurtured me for years.

Her veins, visible beneath the canvas of her skin, whisper to me a story every night before I shut my eyes.

I follow the trails of her veins in my dreams, in my waking hours, to her battlefield heart.

I try to pave away the trail of scars with kisses, with velvet arms, with my tenderly wielded pen.

I cannot rewrite the sorrows into happy memories.

Day in, day out, I am turning cracked.

Am I forgiven?

Am I to blame!

Will the silver strands upon her head wrap me up when she is gone?

Her lips and my cheeks meet in hardships

Imprint on my skin and stay with me forever.

I can not help but raise myself into her sky of patience. To stay earthed until I grow has never been an option.

And her love overflows from the cracks in the earth, from the strain of her veins, raising me up like a mountain, fierce and unyielding.

Now beneath my velvet skin are arms of steel and fingers that will always wield a pen.

Columns of steel covered in silk, a barricaded heart, love-misted eyes.

I am the mountain of her strength. I am the sun of her love.

I fill the space of years left behind.

She looks at me once and with a single word I am bathed in light.

So fortified am I by the one who raised me up.

But isn't it right to be honest about past sins, knowing it might change a person's opinion of whether they want to marry you?
 
It also avoids the inevitable awkward circumstance when they are already married and the truth comes out.

(salam)
 
1.What would you do if you find out that your wife had fallen into haram and is not a virgin?
By the time I'd be married to her, virginity wouldn't be above personality. But I'd most likely be hurt by not knowing prior and get over it.
 
2.What if she did it the halal way?
All the better, since it's much more rare that people do things the right way, it'll just make me like her more.
 
3.Is virginity an important criteria ?
Can be, depends if you (or I in this case) are a virgin at the same time. Otherwise it shouldn't be a big deal.
 
4.What if she masturbated before ?'
Happens, no one's perfect.
 
(wasalam)

This is why I think these kinds of threads are pointless. The fact is, there will always be an abundance of Muslim men who want a polygamous marriage, as well as an abundance of Muslim women who want a monogamous marriage. Why are we all here shaming each other for things that are within the boundaries of halal? As has already been stated, polygamy is not wajib on anyone, nor is it haram. Monogamous marriages are not haram nor shameful either. All that matters is that each individual is able to get what he wants without disrespecting or hurting anyone.
 
This is something that is never going to change: most women will NOT want to be a part of a polygamous marriage, and there is no point in arguing about it, ok? And no one has the right to tell you that you are wrong for NOT wanting something that is not made obligatory. 
 
I have to disagree with you here, Ali Musaa. There is such a thing as divorce of the heart. Surely, if there is one guaranteed way to lose all of a wife's love, trust, respect and duty towards her husband as a wife, have him marry another woman while she is unwilling to be a second wife. It's not going to matter if he keeps her confined in a marriage that she doesn't want to be in anymore (which I don't understand why any man would WANT to do anyways, unless he likes to inflict pain and suffering), she will divorce him by the heart and no longer care about him. This is why these things have to be discussed BEFORE entering into a holy union of marriage. 

isn't islam a religion that emphasises moderation? prove how tatbir adheres to this notion.. its beyond that innit.. 

Are you sure you know what Tatbir is?

(bismillah)
http://tatbir.org/?page_id=98
Wallahu A'lam.

(bismillah)
(salam)
Haram.
(wasalam)

It is pretty much impossible to maintain your hijab while exercising. Either find an all womens class, exercise at home, or have an instructor who is your mahram. Those are the only reasonable options. 

Any hadith you don't like is a lie right? And I gave you the exact page number, so if you know how to read you can go find it.
"On doomsday, when I will be at the water pond delivering water to those who will be thirsty among my followers, a group of my followers will come to drink but the angels will drive them away and take them to Hell! And I'll say: Oh, Allah! They are my companions! But Allah will tell me: You do not know what they did after your death. They degraded themselves to apostasy..... Thus, only small number of my companions will escape like deserted camels in the desert."
- Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol VII, Page 206
Now tell me, which number of companions was the small number, the ones who became Sunni and pledged allegiance to Abu Bakr and Umar, or the Shia ones?

She was also mad at abu baker and umar so she knew they would end up next to the prophet by force, this is why she did not tell anyone about her death but Ali A.S. Its honestly mind boggling how his family, his blood, isnt next to him, but two "friends" who became muslim by force after the prophet took mecca. The other sad reality is they destroyed all of their graves even Kadija A.S and made it into a toilet.... :(
What would the prophet say?

http://www.abubakr.org

(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

!يا لطيف

:cry: إرحم عبدك الضعيف

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGfBqMRRopo

 

(wasalam)

Aa’-z’amallaahu Ujooranaa Wa Ujoorakum Bi-Mus’aabinaa Bil H’usayn A’layhis Salaam"
"Wa Ja-A’lanaa Wa Iyyaakum Minat T’aalibeena Bi-Thaarihee Ma-a’ Waliyyihil Imaamil Mahdiyy Min Aali Muh’Ammdin A’layhimus Salaam"

From Surah An-Nisa:
 
 
Surely you don't really need us to answer why women would be bothered by their husband wanting to marry another woman? Just because it is man's God given right doesn't mean that we don't get jealous. Yes, according to Islam it is the man's God given right to have four wives if he wishes. I am NOT denying that. But would you please just be a human being and consider the woman's feelings? Do men really not understand that we love our husbands so much that we do not want to share them with anyone else? Do you really need to have this explained to you? Yes, men and women are biologically different, but both get jealous and hurt when seeing a spouse with someone of the opposite sex. Please stop acting like you don't understand why women get jealous and mad. Preaching about it being your halal right isn't going to get you anywhere with a woman who doesn't want to be a second, third or fourth wife. Forcing an unwilling woman into such a situation is just cruel, okay? 
 
That being said, there is a LOGICAL way of doing it if you want four wives. 
 
Why don't you just state from the very beginning of a proposal that you intend to marry another woman? Lots of men have done this and have found spouses who are fine with such an agreement. This is the honest way of doing things, rather than betraying your wife's trust and marrying behind her back (even if you don't need her permission to marry someone else, it's just a cowardly way of doing things), or just marrying some other woman anyways even if she has pleaded with you not to and she just has to accept it, "ghasban 3ala rasiha" as Iraqis would say. You don't find that cruel at all? Tell me how a man who would hurt his wife this way could possibly deal with her or even the OTHER one fairly? 
 
Do you think you can do that? Be honest about the multiple wives thing from the very beginning? Spare everyone from a lot of pain and heartbreak?