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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by coldcow

  1. I mean, Muslim men are allowed to marry Christians. And if they do, they must let a Christian (or Jew) practice their faith. Certainly you're supposed to do what's best for the child, and Islamically that would be raising them to be Muslims. But in the modern world, you cannot tell a woman how to raise a child. I think what's best for the child is there to be harmony in the home. Talk with your wife, and stress the importance of how you feel. Work hard on keeping your marriage together, and worst case, work hard to ensure that your child gets exposure to Islam just as much as anything he gets from your wife's family. At the end of the day, raising a child that even believes in God in this day and age will be a victory. Of course, him accepting Islam will be better victory, but you must do what you can. While there are unmarried Muslim sisters out there having a hard time getting married because Muslim men keep chasing non-Muslim women, and I'm sure one of them would love to marry you, I would still suggest that you keep your family together.
  2. Hmm... I wonder if a girl has been intimate with someone before marriage, and is no longer a virgin, but this was kept secret and she repented, must she still get her father's permission?
  3. Agreed. But they should be aware of it, as you point out.
  4. Wait, the Qu'ran says that we must say the third Shahada as one of the 5 pillars? It mentions Imam Ali by name? Can you please point this to me? This is all I could find on the matter: https://en.wikishia.net/view/Third_Testimony
  5. Interesting, I appreciate people that can see the similarities and common ground between our two sects. Will go back and watch these videos later when I have more time.
  6. InshAllah Allah will ease her burden of illness. Has she gone for Umrah or Hajj?
  7. Replay https://www.sarabrewer.com/masterclass-replay? Of note, it wasn't as helpful. She was selling a bigger course. Still might be worth a view for some.
  8. I have never heard of a third Shahadah. As far as I know, there is only one Shahada. Seems like anything else would have to have been fabricated well after the completion of Islamic revelations, and thus has no bearing on someone being Muslim or not. I also don't see how the Sunnis are the enemies of the Ahlulbayat... We need to stop viewing Sunnis as the enemy, and they need to stop viewing us as the enemy. Just focus on being better people and living in the example of the prophet.
  9. https://www.al-islam.org/inquiries-about-shia-islam-sayyid-moustafa-al-qazwini/who-are-shia For future reference, if anyone needs it.
  10. There's nothing wrong with avoiding meat if you don't have easy access to halal meat. You can eat fish, eggs, milk, cheese, yogurt, nuts, etc., for protein. Sure, meat is tasty, but especially in this day and age, being a vegetarian isn't as hard as it used to be.
  11. Good day Shiachat. I saw this Masterclass posted online and thought I'd share it. It appears to be a free class by someone named Sara Brewer on how to overcome pornography. It's occurring in 8 hours, or so, as of my posting. Sorry for posting so late. Hopefully some of y'all can still partake. From what I can tell, she has a faith based component to it (likely some Christian denomination). I would suggest it to any of our youth, even if you don't currently watch it. I have no affiliation with the course, and do not know anything about it. But I figure it's worth it for being free. https://www.sarabrewer.com/freeclass-fbook? If there's a better subforum to post, could one of the admins please move. Thanks
  12. This is true. And I will ask them sometimes. The vast majority of Sunni girls that see my profile and message me say "no thanks" as soon as they find out I'm Shia. So it fixes itself pretty often. But this one girl I was talking to started asking questions, and when I answered them, she was like "it doesn't seem like we should be so different." And it's for those that I would like to potentially explore more with. Yeah, I'm certainly not ignoring shia girls. But the vast, vast majority I have come across that are within my age range are either not religious at all, or view me as not Shia enough for them. All excellent points. I definitely agree that people don't change. And in the rare instance that they do, they can always change back. Gotta marry them for who they are today. Not trying to marry someone to convince them about Shias, but I mean if someone is otherwise pious, and of good character, and we get along great for multiple reasons, then if I can get them to accept my views, and we can come to an agreement on raising kids, and all the other issues, then why not try?
  13. It's tough being alone. Believe me, I have lived in many places where I was the only Muslim for miles, with no masjid for over 100 miles. But you know what helps is being others that still believe in God. Even if they're Christian or Jew, they still believe in God. Try and find a group of religious Christians/Jews to hang around, and at least you'll be reminded of God. What's bad is hanging around lots of atheists or agnostics. That will most definitely start pulling you away from religion.
  14. It's cool that you think that, although it is technically opinion. But that doesn't make Sunnis any less of Muslims. I'd rather marry a practicing sunni than a shia who is muslim in name only.
  15. I have no preference of Sunnis over Shias. I simply want someone that is Muslim and compatible with me. Sunni/Shia is a man-made distinction. All relevant practices and preferences should be discussed prior to marriage.
  16. Came across this link written by a Sunni girl who married a Shia boy. Just her perspective on how they made it work. https://aquila-style.com/my-sunni-shia-marriage-isnt-easy-but-not-as-thorny-as-youd-think/
  17. Well, I don't know if the market exists. Like I feel like Muslims will say we should, and you'll get a lot of support, but they won't actually watch it. Most will still watch the more entertaining sex/violence/obscenities. Or if they do they'll probably bootleg it since we're so cheap. And finding Islamic sponsors for commercials would also be difficult.
  18. Perhaps, but scholars should also be aware of what is out there. They must be able to connect with the youth. Often times I feel like their inability to connect with the challenges that youth face makes the youth feel they're just too out of touch to go to for guidance. I don't know about the thread you speak of, but I know I've had friends who applaud seeing "Muslim" actors/actresses on TV and in movies. But they're giving reverance and importance to individuals that are essentially Muslim in name only. And those people become role models. Regardless of how they are portrayed in their TV shows, in real life they are often not very practicing either - as Br Abu Hadi mentions above.
  19. Sex sells. Controversy sells. People say one thing behind closed doors and say another thing in public. According to google, some of the most common things googled out of arab countries are homosexual topics. As adults, we watch shows that have quesitonable language and themes to them, thinking we're above their influence. But kids still see the same thing, whether we allow them to watch it or not. There was a time growing up, even in America, where the idea of an unmarried man and woman living together was scandalous. Even as little as 15-20 years ago. Now, it's common place for people of high stature in society to live with someone to whom they aren't married. The thing is people don't want to admit that they secretly enjoy these shows and continue to watch them, despite their public outcry. We see it time and time again in politics. People say one thing in public, do another in private. Unfortunate. The key here isn't to control people. It's to teach people what is right and wrong, and make sure they understand that, and understand that just because someone else does it, doesn't mean it's right. Even if everyone is doing it.
  20. So, I've never been shy with female classmates or coworkers, but if I like a girl, or if I'm potentially talking to someone who is a marriage candidate then I can get shy. Or I used to. Honestly, the best thing to do is just start talking. Don't talk about what they're looking for, don't talk about what you want, don't talk about religion. Just talk. Talk about how their day is, talk about what they do, talk about how many siblings they have, talk about where they want to go visit, what foods they like, etc. After that point, you either like them or you don't. If you don't like them, just be respectful and say I don't think this will work out. Or start transitioning to more serious topics, like religion, like children, like future life goals, etc. The point is, you'll get more better at talking to girls the more you talk with them. Just be sure to not lead them on or string them along.
  21. This is common. I've heard it many times that the Shia abandoned Imam Hussein at Karbala. Not sure what the source is. The likely facts are lost to time, with each person writing what they want about it.
  22. I never thought of myself as VERY religious when I was in my teens, but I definitely thought I was more religious than most. In retrospect, compared to most I was probably VERY religious. That being said, I've maintained about the same level of religiousness until the past 2-3 years. With life stresses and stuff, I have unfortunately let myself slip. Having seen how non-religious people are these days is making it harder for me to be religious as well. But I'm trying.
  23. Salaam. So, I'm on the search for a wife, and I've run into a few sunni girls that were great, but they took issue with me being from a Shia family, and wanted to fully embrace Sunni Islam if I was interested in pursuing them. I was wondering if anyone has a list of key points to explain to Sunnis about Shia Islam. My goal isn't to convert her to Shia Islam, but to make her more understanding of it, and to make her realize that a lot of what she hear about us is probably false. So what are the key points that I should bring up, or be prepared to answer questions about?
  24. So, question for the forum. Let's say a muslim girl falls for a non-muslim guy. Let's say they don't even date, and he agrees to get married with just talking ahead of time. What is better, that he say the shahada with insincerity, and continue to practice his own faith but saying he's muslim? Or to have the girl just accept that he's not muslim and that she's doing something that most scholars believe is not permissible? Reason I ask is, let's say he continues to drink alcohol, but identifies as Muslim. That sets a bad example for other muslims, and makes others view Islam as watered down and full of non-adherents. Versus if he continues to identify as christian, and drinks alcohol, then he married a muslim who may be fully practicing otherwise. Technically speaking, I think a marriage between a muslim woman and a non-muslim man is considered not valid in the eyes of Islam, and therefore they're technically committing zina. So, I suppose that could be an issue as well. Anyways, just some food for thought.
  25. I had the same issue. My apartment was supposedly shampooed prior to me moving in. But I guess the shampooer didn't pick up the hair. But yeah, I vacuumed 3-4 times before most of the hair was removed. I still sometimes get a little bit of hair coming up. It was gross. Even my clothes dryer would have hair in it, deep inside, and it would get on my clothes. So I stuck my vacuum cleaner inside the lint catch and got a bunch of hair out. But yea, I'd say do the best you can. There are several ways to "clean" something according to Islam. One is water, one is the sun as well. So perhaps, even if the hair is there, if the carpet is washed, it's maybe not najis?
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