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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About coldcow

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  1. So adaptability is an adult trait and sign of maturity. You don't have to do chores, but shifting blame to your parents for raising you one way, and refusing to change because of that is not an admirable quality. We were all raised in different ways. Do we give a man that abuses his wife a pass because that's how he was raised? Do we give a woman who treats poor people with disrespect a pass because that's how they were raised. If you don't want to do chores as an adult, that's totally fine. I'm sure you can find plenty of men that would prefer you to work full time and have a
  2. Agree with most above. I would not want a wife that refuses to do basic adult tasks. I'm not expecting a 5 star chef, but I don't believe it's healthy to constantly eat out. Even if you're eating health foods, you're teaching children financial irresponsibility and depriving them of home cooked food, and a valuable life skill in learning how to cook from you. I'm pretty good in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure I will be able to cook better than my future wife, when I find one, but that doesn't mean I don't want her trying. And I'm completely willing to cook most of the time. Another
  3. Working all day. Though still debating whether to celebrate Eid tomorrow, with the rest of the Sunnis in my city. Or celebrate it on Wednesday with Shias elsewhere (as there is no Shia community anywhere near where I live).
  4. What if another mosque in the eastern North American region spotted the moon? Or even a non-Muslim. What would y'all do? I'm curious how different people deal with all the differing opinions on what's required to declare Eid. I'm currently living in a city without a Shia community, and the local Sunni community is going with Eid tomorrow. I'm on the fence about going with Eid as tomorrow (based on the majority of local Muslims), or day after (based on an announcement from my Shia community from where I'm from).
  5. So much bilateral hatred. Who cares? Just be a good Muslim according to what you believe and let others be Muslim according to their beliefs. Quit slandering each other.
  6. No. I looked at it, but most of the reviews look like family members of the developers, it only has 5000 downloads, is designed just for Shias (I prefer not to discriminate). And any time you download an app, the developers get your email address and I think some other information about you. I'm a very privacy conscious individual, so don't want to blindly download apps if I'm not sure I trust them, or what they'll do with my data, first.
  7. I think perhaps you are right. It may be easier to pass on someone online, whereas in real life, even a casual conversation can break the ice enough to make you more amenable to looking past some criteria. But I honestly also have a fear of not being able to break things off with a girl if after a while she still is interested but I'm not, so I tend to be pretty aloof and try not to let things go very far if I'm on the fence early on, and why I don't deviate too much from my criteria. Some of the criteria are pretty big deals though. At least in my mind. I'm currently in a new c
  8. Yeah, I too have some pretty specific criteria due to my work/values. There are some people there that seem like a pretty good match in everything, except religion. Then there are folks that are the right amount of religious for me, but are complete opposites otherwise. And then when someone is a good match in both, they're not adaptable to my work requirements. If I had known it would be this difficult I would've started looking much earlier in life.
  9. There was a thread on this that I was unable to find, so I'll just start a new one. What marriage websites have you, or someone you know, had personal experience with? What can you tell me about them, besides if they were good or bad? A few issues I've run into with some of them include: Single Muslim - lots of fake profiles, lots of "members," but not that many are actually active, you get lots of messages from ladies while your account is free, and then when you pay, suddenly none of them respond to your messages Half our deen - everyone has to pay, so no fake profiles, but
  10. There's a lot of factors to consider, but I think you should start looking into marriage earlier rather than later. But don't get married until you honestly believe you're mature enough for marriage, and aren't just getting married because you're wanting to have intercourse. For me, for example, I thought I shouldn't get married until after college and after I have a good job. I've got a great job now, but by the time I really started opening up to my parents to start finding me someone, I missed the window on a lot of good girls in the community around these parts. So now, not even li
  11. I keep my hands on the front of my thighs (currently hurt and can't perform regular salaat). But I was also taught to keep my hands against my thighs when performing regular salaat while standing. Not what the official ruling is.
  12. Has anyone noticed a lot of halal food comes from places like Brazil? I bought some marshmallows the other day, and it turns out they are made in Guatemala. Is there enough halal slaughtered beef over there to produce enough gelatin to make those marshmallows? I think a lot of the corned beef you get in a can comes from Brazil. And it's all certified halal. But is it really? Anyone have any inside info?
  13. I always stop. Because safety more so than anything else. Now, if I'm in the middle of a flat desert, I can clearly see there are no animals/people/cars/etc anywhere around me, AND it is a 4 way stop, I might only come to a rolling stop. Basically slow down to barely a roll, verify the intersection is clear, and move on.
  14. What does this mean? Is it a term we should really use? I see it a lot as I'm looking for a wife. A lot of ladies have it in their profiles saything they're either moderate, or they want a moderate husband. In my mind you're either a practicing Muslim or you're not. Certainly none of us are perfect, and none of us follow every aspect of the religion to perfection, but when I hear the term "moderate Muslim," in my mind that means that you're actively choosing to not follow certain aspects of it, and you think it's ok. A better, or more accurate, term might be a deficient Muslim. I ce
  15. Not sure I'm deserving, as I usually just go around arguing with everyone on here. But thanks.
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