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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About coldcow

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  1. Has it been studied? It's a hard thing to study, as mutah isn't exactly something people voluntarily go around saying they're partaking in and offering to get STDs. A big question is how do we correlate STDs in places where it's hard to research? So let's look at the human papilloma virus, the virus that causes cervical cancer in women. The only way to get this virus is through sexual intercourse. We know that mutah is very common in Iran. So while this doesn't prove mutah helps spread STDs, we can deduce that there is a decent amount of it going around in order for this virus to s
  2. How can masturbation possibly increase the risk of cancer? If you're saying it increases your risk of cancer that means that having intercourse with a female also increases your risk of cancer. There's actually research that suggests that ejaculation and the increased blood flow to the prostate that occurs during ejaculation (via either intercourse or masturbation) actually helps reduce the risk of cancer. Also, if you're not ejaculating via intercourse or masturbation, you're going to have wet dreams and your "children" are going to be discarded at that point. Your body is constantly
  3. Not a valid excuse for avoid mutah? According to who? Surely it doesn't say in the Qu'ran or sunnah that avoiding an STD is not a valid excuse for avoiding mutah, does it? I don't know, and you don't know.
  4. See, that sounds good in theory, but in reality what you're saying is that masturbation is an equal sin to zina. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but I happen to believe it isn't. I think most people would say it isn't. And typically most people will choose the lesser of two sins. Now if you do think masturbation is as bad of a sin as zina, then when faced with a dilemma of masturbating vs committing zina, if you can't control yourself, what reason would you have to try and avoid zina? I agree, everyone should avoid both masturbation and zina. But binary rules have a hard time fitt
  5. Masturbation may be haram, but in my mind getting a sexually transmitted infectino that you keep for the rest of your life, and maybe unknowingly give to your future wife could be worse. What if you give her HPV and she gets cancer from it? We are human, and we are prone to sins. We can try our best to avoid sin, but eventually we will sin. If the OP wants to masturbate to avoid zina, he must weight the consequences of his actions in this world with what he'll have to pay in the next. If he thinks masturbation to avoid zina is worth it, compared with the risks of an STI in a tempora
  6. So, where there's smoke, there's fire. And what I mean by that is that stereotypes come from somewhere. But at the end of the day, they are stereotypes and typically only represent the extreme of a particular race/religion/culture/etc. I don't know what your other thread was about, but just try to gain some perspective. You sound young. How much experience do you have in this world? Even if your parents aren't very smart, they probably have a lot of experience in this world. They've seen a thing or two. And those experiences shape their current thinking. Your experiences (or lack
  7. So this is what I always say - would you want to marry a woman that engaged in mutah with multiple men? Or even 1 man? Would you think differently if a woman engaged in mutah for a month vs a woman was married via nikah that ended after a month, or a year, or whatever? There's often a double standard in most cultures whereby a man is allowed to satisfy his desires, but women must remain chaste. Some say that you should avoid mutah with muslim women and only engage with non-muslim women. This makes no sense. If mutah is permissible to avoid haram, why would you only allow men to d
  8. Have used, or are currently using, HalfourDeen.com, shiamatch, singlemuslim (very briefly - lots of fake profiles there), muzmatch app, salams/minder app. My mother has put my profile on I think shadi.com and something else. I have been in communication with several. One person early on was a good match, but I think in retrospect we were both too timid to take it to the next step as we were both very new to the online realm. Reconnected later, but new life committments in the interim would've made a relationship too difficult. I have been in contact with a few others that respond to
  9. My profile is quite detailed, but not excessive to read. I would actually recommend unblurring your photos. These apps are so superficial anyways. Plus, I frequently don't swipe right on blurred photos because I'm afraid that if I don't like what I see, I don't want to be mean and be like "it's ok, nevermind" as soon as see her photos. So I'd rather just not make the connection. I do ocassionally swipe right on blurred profiles, but I have to really like what I read. Like a lot. I'm not big on the sunni/shia divide. If a sunni girl wants to marry me, and everything else is in o
  10. Short version: Alright ladies and gentlemen, looking for a little advice. I don't want this to be another "woe is me" thread about not being able to find a spouse, but I'm having a hard time finding a spouse. I think I tick all the boxes for what most people would want, but apparently I'm not having any luck. What general tips do y'all have for improving my online profiles? Long version: What are the Muslim kids (specifically the sisters) looking for these days? I'm a pretty successful, financially independent, decent looking, fairly religious, very respectful of women and while I'm
  11. Disagree. Introverts need to learn how to get out of the house and stop just looking out the window. They need to learn human interaction. Social media is not a substitute for human interaction. Using the "window" of social media, will simply allow them to get comfortable staying indoors and not going out. I think you need to learn how to get out of your comfort zone and stop looking out that window. I agree with the original poster - I think it takes a very mature and developed mind to not fall into the trap that is social media. Remember, it's not just the pictures
  12. So adaptability is an adult trait and sign of maturity. You don't have to do chores, but shifting blame to your parents for raising you one way, and refusing to change because of that is not an admirable quality. We were all raised in different ways. Do we give a man that abuses his wife a pass because that's how he was raised? Do we give a woman who treats poor people with disrespect a pass because that's how they were raised. If you don't want to do chores as an adult, that's totally fine. I'm sure you can find plenty of men that would prefer you to work full time and have a
  13. Agree with most above. I would not want a wife that refuses to do basic adult tasks. I'm not expecting a 5 star chef, but I don't believe it's healthy to constantly eat out. Even if you're eating health foods, you're teaching children financial irresponsibility and depriving them of home cooked food, and a valuable life skill in learning how to cook from you. I'm pretty good in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure I will be able to cook better than my future wife, when I find one, but that doesn't mean I don't want her trying. And I'm completely willing to cook most of the time. Another
  14. Working all day. Though still debating whether to celebrate Eid tomorrow, with the rest of the Sunnis in my city. Or celebrate it on Wednesday with Shias elsewhere (as there is no Shia community anywhere near where I live).
  15. What if another mosque in the eastern North American region spotted the moon? Or even a non-Muslim. What would y'all do? I'm curious how different people deal with all the differing opinions on what's required to declare Eid. I'm currently living in a city without a Shia community, and the local Sunni community is going with Eid tomorrow. I'm on the fence about going with Eid as tomorrow (based on the majority of local Muslims), or day after (based on an announcement from my Shia community from where I'm from).
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