al-hawraa

Come on Nour, you know that no one can be mean to you. She better be super nice with no "typical frictions" or else report to me and I'll handle the case : P For the OP: I'd treat my MIL as if she was my own mother ,I'm sure she'll treats me as if I was her own daughter. If no matter how nice and respectful I am with her, she's not pleasant with me, I would still keep my full respect to her while trying to find other ways to make our relationship better. I have a firm beleif that a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationship can be wonderful if they want to.

He did not have children with any of his other wives. And yes, you're right his sons died at infancy and the most authentic shia beleif is that his only daughter was Fatima. (The rest were his wive's daughters from previous marriages). And I think, God meant something when he gave the Prophet only a female and that his sons dies at their early age and made all Imams from this holy female. Of course the problem has nothing to do with the Ultrasound. It's those sick brains that need to be treated(which seems hardly possible). They need to be introduced to Islam, they "maybe" then unlock their minds.

You wlecome dear sis ketza...it's not free though, you gotta remember us in your doaa(supplication) :P

(salam) I don't see anything wrong with it. My maternal aunt(Iraqi) married a Persian man...my mother's uncle(Iraqi) married a Moroccan woman...my two paternal uncles(Iraqis) married Kuwaiti women. And as many members already mentioned, our Imams married from both their own culture and from other cultures.

(salam) I guess one can tell only after the first child, how many kids they want. Once you manage to handle one kid and experience it only then you can decide whether you want more and how many. As for wishes, we all have some in mind and mine is to have 2 kids , a boy and a girl. Kids are a huge responsibility on our shoulders so though emotionally speaking people like to have many, rationally speaking it's a bit different. That's what I think, I might be wrong.

(salam) Generally speaking women prefer men older than them (by 2-5 years or so) and I'm one of them, however I don't see anything wrong if some women prefer to marry men younger than them. It's really a matter of preference which depends both on the expectations and contentment of the couple and obviously on the maturity level of that younger man. As far as I remember we read that the maturity of a 9 years old girl equals the maturity of a 14 years old boy.Now I don't know how authentic is that but I've noticed that it is pretty true in real life. Yes, when this very girl reaches the age of 21 and this 14 years old boy reaches 20 perhaps the maturity level would be very close but again if you ask me, personally I would not prefer marrying a younger man. If a friend were to ask me for advice about this matter I would say: If both sides(the woman and the man) really want each other and see themselves compatible and all, age shall not be an obstacle in their way(unless its a big gap).

What you did was right and there is not any "ta3qeed" in it. Those people who told you that you're being "insensitive"(toward your close friend) tell them that you were only being "sensitive" toward the Islamic jurisprudence (a7kaam). Also you were not overdoing your relgion/practice, because only doing your religion/practice would consist that you do not attend at all a wedding that have music in it, right?. I'm sure that the bride(your close friend) undertands and respects your decision. (salam)

(salam) Hey dear...back to your cooking threads eh? lol...old days.. I'm usually too lazy to think of something delicious for breakfast,but the following are few easy and fast ones that does not necessitate 'being in the mood' to prepare them. -A crispy bagel with Philadelphia creamy cheese,and cup of tea.Or ,crispy bagel with Cheddar melted cheese(its tasty with crispy toasts as well). -A cup of french coffee with 2 chocolate chip cookies. -Fresh french chocolate-croissant and a cup of french coffee . (french coffee is just important in my breakfast) (salam)

1-You just need to add in your letter that you follow Ayatullah Khamanei , and the reply will be according to his fatawa(jurisprudence). 2- Yes they will reply to you in english,however you just need to leave a note at the end of your letter that you want the answer to be in english. Out of experience im telling you that if you do leave a note then they will reply to you in english. Once you get their reply ,post it here for maybe other members want to benifit. (salam)

(salam) You can send your question here(the link that I will paste below) and get the answer within 2 days. (Remember to leave a note at the end of your letter that you want the reply to be in english as well).Unless you understand arabic. http://www.alseraj.net/ar/s/1/ In the first blank,type in your name/or nick name (its optional) In the second blank type in your contry of residence In the third blank type in the email address that you wish to get the reply sent to it. In the big and last blank,type in your questions. Do not forget to mention that many times you took ghussul(washed all the body) but with the intention to purify yourself for salat.(this does not unclude the times that you washed your body but not your head).Also,if you dont remember how many times you washed your full body including the head and the times that you didnt wash the head, mention this in your letter. Mention also that in the past you were completely ignorant about this ruling. Inshallah, you'll get a reply back (and the reply will be according to the rulings of the marji3 Sayed AlSistani and Sayed Al-Khoei). (salam)

(salam) When someone mentions the importance of time in our life, I remember this narration: (áä ÊÒæá ÞÏãÇ ÚÈÏ íæã ÇáÞíÇãÉ ÍÊì íÓÃá Úä ÃÑÈÚ Úä ÚãÑå ÝíãÇ ÇÝäÇå æÚä ÔÈÇÈå ÝíãÇ ÇÈáÇå....) ÇáÍÏíË.. Related narrations: æíÞæá ÇáÅãÇã Úáí ÅÈä ãæÓì ÇáÑÖÇ : ÃæÓÚ ÇÈæÇÈ Ìåäã ÈÇÈ íÓãì ÈÇÈ ÇáãÓæÝíä. Úä ÇáÅãÇã ÇáÈÇÞÑÞÇá:ÅíÇß æÇáÊÓæíÝ ÝÅäå ÈÍÑ íÛÑÞ Ýíå Çááåáßì "æÚä ÇÈí ÇáÍÓä :Åä Çááíá æÇáäåÇÑ íÚãáÇä Ýíß¡ ÝÇÚãá ÝíåãÇ æíÃÎÐÇä ãäß ÝÎÐ ãäåãÇ". (salam) P.S: tasweef means procrastination...musawifin means procrastinators

(salam) Brother, by music I obviously meant haraam music, I thought everyone would understand but nevertheless sorry for not mentioning that I meant haraam music. As for shaving their beards, I specefically said that "if he follows sayed alsistani or any marji3 that does not allow shaving yet he does" then he is not a 3aadil.He is commiting (again with the taqleed condition i;ve mentioned) a daily sin. ahmed nasery Today, 09:39 AM Ok,It's either that you're not understanding me or maybe I'm the one who's not giving a clear explanation.I'll give it a last shot. Brother Ahmed,no, my description was not equal to a ma3assoom.If you studied fiqih which I'm sure you did, you'd remember that for a person to pray Imam jamaa3a (lead a jama3a prayer) shall be "3aadil", then, as you also remember, the fiqh defines to you what does '3adil' means and it exactly tell you that its "tarik almu7aramaat+mu2addi alwajibaat"(which does not mean ma3ssoon as I will explain later in my post). So brother,does this fiqhi law about salaat jamaa3a means no one can lead salaat unless he is ma3ssoom? Of course not, it just means he does his wajibaat and keeps away from mu7aramaat,so a person who had many sins in his past for instance and one day he regrets everything and truly repents and stops doing the haraam acts he used to do and starts doing his wajibaat,is this a 3aadil? Fiqh says yes he is,hence he can lead a jama3a prayer and considered a kuf2 also.Now,but wait does he meets the 3aadil criteria(tarik almu7aramaat,mu2addi alwajibaat"?The fiqhi answer is yes because right now he is a person who when he knows this X thing is haraam he will simply not do it and if he acknowledge this Y thing is wajib,he will do it thus is a 3adil! Now,does this very person is a ma3ssoom? The fiqhi answer is: no he is not, for a ma3ssom have not sinned all his life and wont sin the rest of his life and does not forget and does not yas-ho and does not utter a word if it was wrong and does not act any act if it was not the right and knows the a7kaam without referring to a fiqhi book or to a marji3 and does not do taqleed and does not have shubuhaat....etc(till the end of a ma3ssoom description). I guess you're able to clearly see the difference from a ma3ssoom and from a 3aadil. Again,allow me to say,that it is not hard at all. Now whats the wajibaat of the day hmm,the 5 prayers and whats comes as mu7aramaat that day abstain from it et voila,thats a 3adil day,same applies for a 3aadil week and a 3adil month then after a while the person will be known as a 3aadil person. If after all my explanations you still misunderstand it,then perhaps you should ask a faqeeh so that he can properly answer you and at the same time he'll surely be a more reliable source of information for you than my unclear explanation. If you've noticed,in all my posts on this thread I reffered to fatawa alsayed alsistani and the fiqhi book I mentioned is also according to his fatawaa.So,it you cannot refute my post with another marji3's fatawa because it becomes totally different. Also,it is better to mention the name of the other maraji3 who allows it and perhaps quote us what did they said about it,but again it has nothing to do with my post since I was reffering to sayed alsistani's fatawa. Wrong! It is not on obligatory precaution according to marji3 alsistani it is not permissible. Only for a completely indepedent virgin woman (fiqh also explains whats an independant woman means,which I will explain later) it becomes on obligatory precaution.Obligatory precaution(i7tiyaa6 wojoobi) means if there is another marji3 in the aqual rank of knowledge who allows this X fatwa then the muqalidee of sayed alsitani can reffer to that second equal marji3 who allows it. Again that is only for an independant woman,which means though she is virgin whoever she is independant,she directs all the aspect of her life without reffering to her father,she goes out(or goes on a trip/travels etc) without reffering to him,she does not depend on her father in all her life stuff ("bi kolli sho2oon 7ayatihaa" as fiqih says). And this surely does not apply on the 16 years old girl of this thread,because she isnt independant as she reffered to her father when she had a wish to get married,and I assume she also needs permission to travel by herself etc which makes her a dependant of her father thus excluded from this i7tiyaa6 wujoonbi (obligatory precaution) fiqhi jurisprudence. No brother Ahmed, the person laughing with qahqaha is mamqoot according to the 7adith however he is not sinning, which means if you go to your marji3 and tell him I laugh with qahqaha is it haraam? He'll tell you not it is not however it is very makruuh try to avoid or say after your qahqaha laughter "allahuma la tamqotni" three times.. Thats also one of the differnce between a 3aadil and a ma3ssoom, a ma3ssom la yaf3al almakrooh while a 3aadil does it and he is NOT sinning.. Inshallah things got cleared up . (salam)

^^ (salam) Those(the laws i mentioned) are not the conditions for normal marriage those are the conditions of when the virgin girl is allowed to, despite the father's refusal, marry someone(kuf2). Go back to the fiqhi law for this and you will understand. Yes, "man rathayto dinaho wa kholoqah" go back to its tafseer, and you'll see that I was right.(all the acts that i mentioned falls under the conditions of this hadith). Maybe you did not understand what I meant, let me make it clearer: If a man who does not pray askas for the hand of your daughter, you are allowed to accept and if the girl accepts then she is allowed to marry him despite that he does not pray HOWEVER, if another man comes,this one prays and all but listens to music, and you decide to refuse giving him your daughter,this virgin daughter here is NOT allowed to marry him without your permission unless as I mentioned previously he meets all the criteria of being a kuf2. So,the list of acts that i listed in my previous post was not about any marriage,it was about the case were the virgin(rashid) girl will be allowed to marry despite her father's refusal. I did not mention anything complicated about being kuf2, the stuff i mentioned are normal haraam stuff that all muslims should keep away from. If my explanation was not clear or I'm not reliable source for you, you can contact Ayatullah Alsistani office and see for yourself. Or you can open the book of "a7kaam almar2a wal usraa" (6ibqan lifatawwi sama7at alsayed alsistani) qism "3aqd alnikaa7" page 100-103. As for supporting a family, I did not mean he must be rich nor did I mean a poor cannot get married,however as you and all muslims know you are not allowed to marry(a virgin if her father refuses) if you cannot support the wife(food/shelter/clothing). Why does the prophet says "man ista6a3aa albaa2a falyaf3al wa ilaa fal yassom..." why does he say "man ista6aa3aaa"????? Meaning he was to be musta6ee3. Reffer to the fiqh book and you'll understand what Im talking about. So, a poor can marry of course, but he cannot marry a virgin girl without her father's permission if he cannot provide her food/shelter/clothing(and the rest of kafa2a conditions). So what i reffering to are the laws to a virgin girl without her father's permission! No brother, there are plenty of akufaa2. Its not too hard,let me give you the recipe: mu2addi alwajibaat+mujtinib almu7aramaat+have akhlaaq+can support a family.(and is a rashid of course) Why is it too hard? (salam)

(salam) The fatwa concerns the raashida ...But this girl is only 16,I don't think she's a rashida yet..We need more details about her and about the man.If he's also 16,I assume he cannot support a family,which makes him not kuf2 and I also assume he's not a raashid yet.So if thats the case,then she is NOT allowed to marry him unless she gets her father's permission. So we're not sure if the man is kuf2,and we're not sure if the girl is a child or actually a rashida wise woman. My questions to the OP(nice-eyes): How old is the man? Does he work? Can he support a family? Does he have Islamic akhlaaq? Is he religious? (do all the wajibaat and keep away from sins"fa3il alwajibaat,tarik almu7aramaat") Also,did the man proposed to her father and got refused? or are they assuming(almost sure) that he will refuse even if the man proposes? Would the man mind waiting another year then ask her hand a second time from her father or is it that he wants to marry her now or else never? Examples of some acts that makes a person not kuf2:(i.e, the man being not a kuf2,makes it HARAM/ZINA for her to marry him without her father's permission): If he listens to music, he is not a kuf2. If he does not lower his gaze, he is not a kuf2. If he has some bad manners(bad akhlaaq), he is not a kuf2. If he misses(don't wake up on time to pray it) his morning(fajr) prayers(or any of the daily prayers), he is not a kuf2. If he cant support a family,(financially/including: food,clothes,shelter), he is not a kuf2. If he follows sayed AlSistani(or any scholar who does not allow shaving the beard),yet shaves his beard,he is not a kuf2. If he doesnt mind shaking the hand of a non-mahram,he is not a kuf2. If he has bad manners with his parents, he is not a kuf2. ....its a long list,but I will stop here. If he is really KUF2,and she is really a RASHID yet her father is still refusing and both of them really/wisely/maturely want to get married then perhaps she should bring a third party(someone her father respects alot) to convince her father about this matter. Or maybe the girl herself should be more open with her father and explain to him how much she needs to get married. The 7adith reffers to permenant marriages,and it reffers to a father who reffuses a kuf2 man . Also what it means, is that if she commits sins afterwards(after his refusal to kuf2 men), he will be punished as well. Which means both the girl who commits sins as well as the father stopped his daughter(who is in need of marriage) from the religious man(who is a kuf2) to get married. So in other words, if the girl will commit fornication,then both of them(father and daughter) will be punished for it. I wish her the best, (salam)

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