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In the Name of God بسم الله

Crimson

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About Crimson

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    The Student of Shi'ism

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    United Kingdom
  • Religion
    Islam (Shia)

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    Male

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  1. But It's still the same moon and same horizon (we all share it)? How can there be two different days for Eid for the same moon? So are you saying that all those who follow Fadlallah, Khoei and Sunnis are wrong? And if Sistani and Khamenei different on certain regions/countries, one of them will also be wrong and therefore those having Eid on Friday in the UK (Assuming Sistani says it's on Saturday) are incorrect and have in fact missed a day of Ramadan? If that is the case then I should technically refrain from wishing Eid Mubarak to some one my family members as they are incorrect?
  2. Can someone explain to me how Eid is in different parts of the world on two different days? Logically speaking the way the Sunnis do it and Fadlallah makes the most sense. How can there be Eid in Southern Europe or the Middle East but not the United Kingdom? It's one moon... so if we were to assume the world was one country and these man-made artificial borders between countries didn't exist, would this rule change? We all share the same horizon and if the moon is visible in one end of the world then it should apply to the rest of the world... just because we can't see it with a naked eye and have to use a telescope that doesn't mean it's not there..? I will never get this so am I allowed to follow someone else for Eid because I am not convinced by Sistanis methodology and don't feel comfortable following it blindly. Plus within my family we are always split where some of us are fasting and other are celebrating Eid and it just kills the mood. That being said, Eid mubarak to everyone and I hope within your families and communities you have Eid on the same day.
  3. The last point is very true. If you are at university you should have witnessed what they are like first hand, animals, literally. That's basically every guy in university and probably even before. How does that help? I mean if a guy is posting on a forum for help evidently it means he can't marry even though he's desperate for it.
  4. Salam, Your situation is pretty much exactly like mine. I am not going to tell you to do mutah because just like me you are probably aware that it's pretty much impossible. I have not heard of a single family that allows their daughter to enter a mutah relationship (I heard of someone who tried asking a few families before, he was ridiculed) and how would you even go about finding an older divorced woman who would want to do it? As for a non-Muslim, that's also pretty much harder since to meet one you'll need to 'date' of some sort and them explain it to them and hope they don't run away in fear/confusion and tell everyone... The solution? It's what you already know and that's get married. But in order to get married, you'll need to have a degree, a high paying job, a house, expensive dowry and engagement, expensive wedding, and who knows what else. So technically there is no solution... I realized that once you accept that fact we pretty much have no way out of this but to suffer and amass wealth because lets be real you are not getting married for anything less than £10000 and that's often with a 'religious' spouse and family. Engagement (and rings), dowry, weddings, and whatever others costs there are will easily set you back a minimum of £10000. Just like you, from my friends (same age group, I'm 21) that got married, the cheapest was £12000. This doesn't even hold to one culture it applies to Arabs, Asians, Africans, etc and mostly Shia's, a know and heard of Sunnis marrying young and at a very affordable amount and it was so easy for them. So as I said you have to suffer, period. People speak of a this 'salvation' that after a while of not paying attention to your sexual desires or fulfilling them unlawfully you will have wonderful psychological and spiritual experiences, well it's been years for me and it's just as hard as day one, if not harder and just like you I have become frustrated and angry too, So what can we really do? The basics. Lower your gaze, fast (just like you it no longer works for me and I have lost a lot of weight and energy), no music, no entertainment, etc but most importantly no fantasies or using your imagination. Is it the reason why I have been clean for so long. Lower the gaze, no music and entertainment with haram elements such as movies, TV shows, games and what not (which are a requirement to abstain from) but what truly levels the playing field is imagination and fantasies that you play in your head. It keeps your mind focusing on women and sex and hour by hour, day by day and so on it will become unbearable to do anything else but purely focus on not sinning which will then drain you. Fantasize and imagine other things that don't involve women, literally it was can as simple as lying down in a forest. Change the imagery in your head as soon as it comes to you, that will help you libido from spiking too often. Like I said before, there is no way out of this at all, unless you get a large sum of money and become wealthy enough to meet the standards of today then you have to suffer, a lot. The only thing we can do is for our kids. If we do get married, we know what we went through so maybe we can help our children and allow them to get married from a younger age, whilst at university for example. As for us, society will not change whatever we say, whatever any scholar says or anybody for that matter. The customs and culture have overridden Islamic standards in this time and age and only when this breed that hold and enforce these practices die out, there will be change if we choose to do so. Which leads to my last point, accept your fate, realize that no matter how much you think about it and want a spouse you won't get one until you have met the standards of the 21st century requirement. This helped me with think about it a bit less. So assume you are going to live a celibate life and die a virgin and just focus on other areas of your life while avoiding the sins. InshAllah in our next life, we will be satisfied for what we missed out on in this life. This is what I do and what I need to do to help me get through this because I also wont be married for at least 5+ years due to education, money and a not wealthy family background. Hope it helps you too. May Allah make it easy for us.
  5. Unfortunately this is one of the tests for most Muslims in our time, specially if you are a male and live in a western country. With all the expectations and requirements needed such as degree, high paying job, hefty dowry, expensive weddings and engagements, etc... It all has been designed to create hardship. I personally believe this is an intended test for this generation and probably the next. As a 21 year old I suffer from this daily and will probably do so for the next 5+ years but there is definitely no way to justify masturbation unless your life is truly in risk (i.e someone has a gun to your head). You need to take all the precautionary steps to maximize your chances of not falling in masturbation such us lowering the gaze, etc. In other words, suffer. Be miserable if you truly can't until you get married because at the end of the day it's better than suffering in the grave, day of judgement and hell. I accepted that a long time ago and I have 50/60 years max if I don't get married, not to long...
  6. So what if a country has a different time zone? How does that justify fasting another day when its one moon. Fasting a day KNOWING its eid does not seem very comforting specially since two members from my household are bit fasting today because they follow a different marja... Its pathetic. Since Ayatollah fadallah is different from all other marjas in this regard would this mean he is wrong, surely someone had to be wrong?
  7. I don't get how there can be two eids though? Surely its one horizon and it's one moon. Based on a few moonsighting websites the new moon has been born and it has a 1% visibility. Knowing this how can I fast tomorrow here in the UK when I know the month of Shawwal has started? Would this mean at the start of Ramadan we had two laylatul Qadr's on earth because Shia's started at different times using this logic? Also why has Fadllalah's marja issued Eid to be tomorrow? Can I use my own logic and not follow Sistani or Khameni, I just feel this is so illogical.
  8. Salam, When making dua it is said that Allah (swt) will either answer the dua of a person, or he will save it and reward them in the after life or he will divert an equivalent evil away from them. Is it good to make dua for everything that you might want/need even if they are worldly things such as a car, phone, clothes or anything of that sort that a person may want? Or is it only recommended people stick to bigger issues like asking for Jannah, find a spouse or get married, for good health and maybe a job? Also, if a person makes dua but he doesn't really mind if they are not answered because he wishes to be rewarded in the hereafter with his unanswered dua, would that intention be good or will it essentially nullify the dua?
  9. It is not wrong to assume that no one should be unmarried by that age but you would actually be suprised at the amount of unmarried men in the late 20s and early 30s. I know a few myself, but that is their test. It is difficult, most definitely. I just turned 21 a month ago and I struggle and am frustrated almost all the time but I'm sure it will be worth it eventually.
  10. But then you claimed that anyone that does not sin are liars or acting out to be saints..?
  11. For some people, the fear of Allah and the desire to attain the highest levels of paradise are more than enough to abstain from haram sexual acts. Don't lump us all into the same group as you.
  12. As a guy who probably has a higher sex drive than most people I can assure you that it is more than possible to deal with this test. This is a test. It is a difficult test but it is still a test and if it was impossible to deal with until marriage then this test will not occur on the scale that it does. It's all about mentality and how you use that energy. I was like you at first and though it was impossible to not relieve myslef for the next 10 years or so but it is actually very possible. Once people take the requred steps it becomes easy. First lower the gaze, then stop day dreaming, then know that Allah (swt) has already written who your spouse is and the time you will marry them and if not it means this is just the test written for you. Everytime you look away and do good deeds you are investing into you after life where you can have as much women as you want, so tempted to look but lowered your gaze? Investment in your afterlife. Tempted to masturbate but didnt? Investment in your afterlife. Once people grasp this concept that in a few moments they will be in their grave it becomes easy. You sit there and think am I really struggling with someone like this? It's all about the mind, yes your body will continue to create those hormones but you can control the amount it creates by your lifestyle. If you dont lower your gaze, day dream about it, constantly think about when and how you will get married then yeah you will have a tough time. Once one learns to control the nafs a lot of lifes struggles becomes easy. Personally I think the malhama (ww3) is about to start soon so I probably dont have much time left. Train for the Imam of our time, learn and master skills that will help during and after the war. Mutah is not wajib, what's wajib is a class in self control and discipline, why we are here and what we need to do. The youth of today should use their time to improve themselves, not just financially but skills, hobbies, volunteer, etc. not sit there thinking when they will have sex. I love women and I havent had sex but I love sex, but if I was married right now id have even less free time. Time is valuable and people should use it wisely while they can. As a 21 year old living in mixed dorms with no shia (no muslims actually) friends or aquintances here at university, I can tell you it's very, very difficult but once you get use to the feeling of being sexually frustrated, you eventually do not feel it, it becomes normal to you. Lowering the gaze is key. Everything is fine until your eyes see something, accident or intentioally so self control is needed. Lastly, if a guy slept with my sister doing Mutah without me or my dad knowing, knock him out. Just saying. If I had a daughter, I'd knock him out too. I don't care who bad the guy cant control his genitals. If he is struggling to the point of sin then he is weak and I wouldn't even want him to marry my sister or daughter. Masturbation is not fixed with marriage, it normally goes hand in hand with porn and is and addiction and a spiritual disease that needs to be gotten rid off before you marry someones sister/daughter. Yes it is hard, I struggle everyday and almost every hour but I actively shift my focus onto something else to the best of my ability. Is it easy? No of coruse not. Is it possible? It definitely is. I have been successful for a very, long time and I hope to marry someone who has put in the amount of effort I did. I would type more but I was gonig to sleep when I saw this.
  13. So would it not be possible to be a follower of Sistani but when it comes to eid accept the explanation of Sayyid Kho'ie? As for the night hours, do you mean that even if a country it ahead of the UK by like 2 hours but they have night at a certain point together or do you mean they need to be exactly the same in terms of hours?
  14. Yes I totally get that but how can there be two different eids... two different qadrs, etc. I mean it's one moon, it's one planet... all I am asking for is the reasoning behind it. What if the world was part of one country would that change the rulling then? Is it man made borders that create these differences? What's the logic behind it?
  15. They arent very clear or organised are they, but I am sure it also applies to southern Europe too.
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