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In the Name of God بسم الله

Chaotic Muslem

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Everything posted by Chaotic Muslem

  1. obviiously i was not talking about the incel cult obviousy i am not endorsing the cult obviously i am not hinting at the cult at any point obviously this deaf people talk is not going to be fruitful salam. close my account too please.
  2. I also do not like the cults culture: Emo, Nerds. Geeks, etc etc. But .. yes but... these cults gain momentum from a growing social problem. Look at Emo culture, it started some decades ago but wher eare we now? Suicide is leading cause of death in US. Depression and mental health is worst that ever in human history globally. We can be all proud and feed our ego but i prefer to be honest rather than blind. Yep women can be incels too if peeps around just wanted to throw some hidden insults, if that makes them feel better, yep they can be incels in the modern definition of the involuntary celibacy. And yes it comes at costs on mental and social health of many. You can mock and ignore all you like, or you can review 30 topics of "i want/i dont want to get married" on SC alone and test the mental health of the internet population yourself.
  3. I try not to be a literalist be it in religious matters or none religious matters. If we took the main behavior of the incel definition without associating it with any online or offline community, a certain race or certain nationality, we will be discussing a real issue that is often recurring theme in many "i want to marry" topics in SC. It is better not to bury head in sand and it is better to address the matter: 1- unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one 2- Discussions are often characterized by resentment, misanthropy,[1] self-pity,[13] self-loathing,[14] misogyny, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people 3- Other thoughts that might be missed by the wikipedia Lets pick up 30 "i want to marry, i cannot find partner" topics in SC, made by 30 different accounts and see if we can find that theme in them. I might had been unfairly generalizing when i said 99% of males, obviously i was joking as always, but i wont say that the inceldom is a white supremacist phenomena. It has much to do with global urbanization, education system, gender blender, work and employment ad probably other socio-economic factors.
  4. USA suicide: https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/suicide/index.html France suicide: https://www.thelocal.fr/20180206/in-france-a-person-commits-suicide-every-hour-so-what-needs-to-be-done Both countries re plagued with the ill mental health of its citizens. It is still very shocking that he decided to commit suicide in holy mosque in holy month. As if he is testifying that he disbelieve in God's mercy and God's might and power to change situations. I am not underestimating the amount of pressure that was upon the man that lead to such fate, on the contrary, I am saying that if we do not stick togather with those going under stressful times, gave them ears at least, we are pushing them to the despair ourselves.
  5. Salam Thank you for sharing these posts. They carry a good general advises and reflections, but they lack practical steps to change the mindset needed to lift the spirit out of the dark pit of anxiety and depression. What I am mulling over now is the conept of "Tafreej al karb" the word karb in Arabic means the sever stress. alleviate the karb or tafrij alkarb from a believer is considered one of the highly rewarded deeds in Islam. In the Hadith it says "whoever alleviate a sever stress from upon a believer, Allah will alleviate his stress in the day of judgement." I'm looking for practical way to do it in this day and age.
  6. Salam, Recently, I've been looking at backbiting from different perspective. I work in a very stressful job and very sick work environment. Almost everyone is burnt out, depressed or have one or another mental issue (They are sane, just mentally worn out due to stress). I've been noticing pattern of how to spot person in burn out, they often start talking negatively all the time about almost everyone in their life including themselves, among other things. From high moral grounds, what they do is unjustified, but for me, I start to see them as victims rather than the criminals. It is ethically unsettling situation because I feel i have to give them an ear to ease their stress, carry some of their burden, but at the same time, It makes me feel that i'll be dragged to same pit if I let them charge me negatively all the time. I thought of ways to help them without having to listen to the negative talk. I started by making a presentation about cognitive distortions. The ways of thinking that makes us sad and depressed. I was trying to give them insight into the problem many of them are in, so they can help themselves. But talk is easy and their situations are really bad. This all brought me to the conclusion of emotional intelligence, how to measure it, how to enhance it and will it affect how people cope with stress or avoid to be source of stress to others? Any idea?
  7. It is the victory of fantasy over realism that distances the American public from the horrors of war. https://www.rt.com/op-ed/429168-syria-saving-private-ryan/ I enjoyed reading her reflection on the Hollywood's version of war vs the reality of life, and how people can be convinced by mere myths even if they were logically implausible.
  8. salam i hope you are all doing great. <3
  9. the amount of peace in this place does not belong to this world. Imam Hussain was forced to leave mecca under a threat to kill him even if he was holding on the clothes of ka,bah , i cannot even imagine that. This place has a grace that forces even mushriks to take care of it and honor it, those at the time of imam hussain didnt even have that much of fake attitude. i prayed for you all
  10. salam, it is ok, you are not alone. And it is not your fault. Something is simply not right that makes many people feel not good. But there are simple steps that can at least clarify your mind a bit and makes you focus again on living: school, social life and taking care of yourself until Allah decides when we should leave this world. Until then, we should wait elegantly. Start by cleaning your room. If it is clean, re arrange it again, just because. Try new hair cut or reward yourself with anything that is totally selfish. Nothing fancy but very personal. Go and walk, walk and walk and walk. Delete most of your social media accounts and apps, keep it to the least possible minimum. Enjoy old style conversations with family, friends or even strangers. Try to find that activity that will put your mind in trance state? That feeling when you were a kid , playing alone and is totally fine and enjoyable while making castle or the feeling of driving a car or bicycle on long road? idk what activity that put your brain in trance mode but try to find it and activate that mode. Finally, when you are ready, try to find a meaning in life. I do not mean a meaning of universe or why we exist, but a meaning in an activity : helping someone, developing your self, helping your family by helping yourself instead of becoming a burden on them, expressing the gifts that Allah gave you like skills or talents etc and finally: quit junk food, canned food, fast food , eat fresh food that has no hormonal alternating materials.
  11. Totally disgusting Totally disgusting Totally disgusting Totally disgusting Ok, though WE as CONSERVATIVE muslims MAY agree on the no makeup rule... The concept that the only reason for makeup is explicit sexual act is disgusting. JP went from 70% agreement to -20.
  12. Thank you brothers and sisters. I am contemplating a solution and i hope it works, praying for it to work!
  13. Salam Your prayers is badly needed. For safety and fear and worries.
  14. اني اريد امانا يابن فاطمة

    مستمسكا بيدي من طارق الزمن

  15. My joints hurt. I feel like if each one of them is coming in and out of their place. I have chest tightness and i cannot focus. There is a clutter in my mind and the work is piling up. I recovered my hate notebook again. I was looking down staircase and estimating how much damage will it do if i jumped down. I wish I can curl up on my grandpa grave and cry. It is just expected. I came back to the bullies offices and they've been doing what they excel at : abolish people's morale. I have a new boss who is new, freshly graduate with high degrees. I am watching as he is going through same steps and same process that lead to my current state. I also watch the other team members as they are being destroyed. Youth, energetic, brilliant people who will soon will turn to zombies. I was thinking of creating an achievement board or some other positive reinforcement for them. But I am being held back by my past experience. What will I get from all that? Probably i'll get a negative feedback. Probably they will feed on the scarce reserve of positivity that is left in me, they will cont. their life happily while i'll rot alone. None will look back and try to approach to help. None had done so in the past and I am not expecting anything like it in the future. But, why I am here then? I am done already. I've been damaged already. What If a word can change the life of another person to make them avoid this same fate? I do not know. The concept seems nice but I do not have the will. Not my business..I dont know Stress.. It is also called Karb in Arabic. There are plenty of narrations regarding the karb: عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: "من مشى لامرئ مسلم في حاجته فنصحه فيها, كتب الله له بكلّ خطوة حسنة, ومحى عنه سيئة, قضيت الحاجة أولم تقض, فإن لم ينصحه فقد خان الله ورسوله, وكان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم خصمه" 1. Imam Sadiq said: whoever walked to solve another muslim issue, and he gave him the right advice, Allah will reward every step he made by hasanah and erase a sin, whither that problem was solved or not. But if he did not advised him then he betrayed Allah and His prophet, and prophet will be his enemy (on the day of judgement) عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام: "إن الله عزّ وجلّ انتخب قوماً من خلقه لقضاء حوائج فقراء من شيعة علي عليه السلام ليثيبهم بذلك الجنّة" 2. Imam Sadiq said: Allah had elected a group of people to solve issues of the poor shia of Ali , so he will reward them Jannah" عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: أيما مؤمن نفّس عن مؤمن كربة نفّس الله عنه سبعين كربة من كرب الدنيا وكرب يوم القيامة, قال: ومن يسّر على مؤمن وهو معسر, يسّر الله له حوائج الدنيا والآخرة, (ومن ستر على مؤمن عورة ستر الله عليه سبعين عورة من عوراته التي يخلفها 3 في الدنيا والآخرة) 4. قال: وإن الله لفي عون المؤمن 5 ما كان المؤمن في عون أخيه المؤمن, فانتفعوا في العظة وارغبوا في الخير 6 Imam Sadiq said: If Any believer, relieved the stress upon another believer, Allah will relieve 70 stresses in Dunyia and Qyiama. Whoever eased upon a believer (a hardship), Allah will ease upon him his needs in Dunyia and Akhira. Whoever covered a believer deficits, Allah will cover 70 of his deficits in Dunyia and Akhira. Verily, Allah is in aid of the believer so long as the believer is in aid of his brother. So use the advice and presue doing good. (english has been butchered here, but i hope the meaning is clear) عن أبي جعفر عليه السلام قال: من خطا في حاجة أخيه المسلم 7 بخطوة كتب الله له بها عشر حسنات, وكانت له خيراً من (عتق ظ) عشر رقاب, و صيام شهر واعتكافه في المسجد الحرام 8. Imam Baqir said: whoever made steps to solve his muslim brother issue, Allah will write for him for each a step 10 hasanat, and it (problem solving) will be more beneficial for him than freeing 10 slaves + fasting a whole month+ doing e'itikaf in the Masjid Alharam. وعن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: قضاء حاجة المؤمن خير من حملان ألف فرس في سبيل الله عزّ وجلّ, وعتق ألف نسمة 9. وقال: ما من مؤمن يمشي لأخيه في حاجة إلا كتب الله له بكلّ خطوة حسنة, وحطّ بها عنه سيئة, ورفع له بها درجة وما من مؤمن يفرج عن أخيه المؤمن كربة إلا فرج الله عنه كربة من كرب الآخرة, وما من مؤمن يعين مظلوما إلا كان ذلك أفضل من صيام شهر واعتكافه في المسجد الحرام imam sadiq said: solving the believer problem is far better than preparing 1000 horse for jihad and freeing 1000 slaves. and he said: a believer who walks to solve his brother's issue, Allah will reward him for each step a hasanah, erase a sin and raise him a degree any believer solve his brothers stress, Allah will relieve a stress from his own in dunyia and akhira, any believer who support an opressed, that will be better for him than fasting a month and doing e'itikaf in masjid alharam وعن أبي جعفر عليه السلام قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: "من سرّ مؤمناً فقد سرّني, ومن سرّني فقد سرّ الله"18. Prophet said : whoever made a believer happy, he made me happy. whoever makes me happy, he made Allah happy (translation?) https://www.almaaref.org/books/contentsimages/books/miscellaneous/al_moemen/page/lesson6.htm Jum'ah Mubarakah everyone
  16. STEM is training for a job while humanities are raising up a child and nurturing him/her. Discipline of a child should be carried out by family or community norms or some professional in the art. I will not trust anyone from the current educational complex to nurture my children. I think they've done already enough. But there are things that decrease empathy, for example : lies. But current political correctness moral campus puts the traditional morality into trash and it is synthesizing a whole new moral system, which probably will create more sociopaths. In this case, a gun control wont solve the issue. They can make new ways to harm people, if harming others fills them with pleasure.
  17. The verse does not contain the word sahaba, it uses the word (those with him). It could refer to people around him or it could refer to those who are with him always (physically and none physically) in this case it can refer to ahlulbayt.
  18. well, Sahib is an arabic word that is used casually to describe a fellow or companion. The word itself is neutral and does not indicate any special relation between the company and the accompanied. If you searched for the word Sahib in Quran, you will find in many instances that it was used to describe the relation between 2 humans who existed in same place and same time, but were following 2 religions for example. The proper question is "when did the significance of the prophet's companion came to be part of mainstream muslim schools of thought?" Mutawakil the bbassid is great start to trace backward the steps. It is said that during his riegn, many of the modern day sunni aqa'id were coined and given special terms. in early Islam there were a number of criteria to point out to righteousness of a companion: Hijarh, ansar, those who attened Uhud, those who attended Badr, bay'atul Ridwan But , there were hypocrites as well, and the standard test to verify if someone is true believer or fake one was his love to imam Ali. There is a hadith narrated by some companions that say" we could tell who was a hypocrite and who was not during the life of the prophet by noticing how much they dislike Ali bin Abi Taleb" http://kingoflinks.net/ImamAli/32HobAli/8Tabarani.htm
  19. He was attracted to her! He liked the fact that she has strong opinions even if he disagrees wit them. He was analyzing her all the time. Him moving is arms in a power fist was to lower his "threat" to her, acting a bit cartoonish so she can stop attacking him and start admiring his ideas BUT and i like what she did, the moment he was about to boast about how he would lambasted his academic opponents, she cuts off his grandiose talk ! I do not disagree with everything he says nor agree with him either, but that interview was over blown IMHO because of that subtle attraction that led to "gocha" moment. She felt it at the end... only at the end and tried to keep a face, sort of softened too at the end so it does not appear personal. Useless interview, he had made much better ones XD
  20. considerig that you are a very far away from a racist, the fact that you have never thought about it is quite telling
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