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In the Name of God بسم الله

always searching sister

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  1. Salaam, Classical music like some of the ones found in action movies is regarded as halal by some scholars. He is going to upload a music free version in the future, which I will update here inshallah.
  2. (1) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (1/9) Muta in the Quran & Definitions & Background information (2) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (2/9) Who prohibited the two Mutas (2B) Umar's Famous Sermon forbidding the two Mutas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nM2R8Pn_lc#t=07m32s (3) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (3/9) Who prohibited the Muta of Hajj (4) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (4/9) Companions who allowed Muta marriage (5) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (5/9) Companions who did Muta marriage (5B) Asmaa The daughter of Abubakr did Muta Marriage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44CGHWX9-B0#t=03m36s (6) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (6/9) Refuting the claims of the prohibition of Muta (6B) Refuting claims of quranic abrogation of verse 4:24. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2tlTpgibVw#t=05m35s (6C) Refuting claims of hadeeths abrogating Muta marriage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2tlTpgibVw#t=09m26s (7) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (7/9) Distortion and tampering of the hadeeths of Muta (8) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (8/9) Sunni invented temporary marriages Misyar & Reasons for Muta (8B) Sunni invented temporary marriages http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grpaw-nZZN0#t=05m26s (8C) Different possible applications of Muta Marriage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grpaw-nZZN0#t=14m38s (9) Shia Muta Temporary Marriage (9/9) Misconceptions about Muta & How to perform Muta marriage (9B) Muta is not Zina according to the Sunni schools of thought http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyk5i67duVM#t=10m28s (9C) Instructions on how to perform Muta marriage contract http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyk5i67duVM#t=16m07s
  3. Assalaamu alaikum Please share and promote “The Ultimate Muta marriage documentary” This is an unprecedented documentary revealing many suppressed truths about Muta marriage in Islam, from the Sunni Saheeh sources: we have finally finished this comprehensive research which reveals many suppressed truths about Muta marriage from the sunni perspective. It exposes many shocking evidence and realities, which are kept hidden from the majority of the people. This documentary took a very long time to research and produce. In the process, it required the downloading of more than 8 Giga Bytes of books on PDF and Microsoft Word formats as well as hundreds of hours of work in the research and production process. We are also planning to put all this together as one book along with the 2 or 3 DVDs containing the reference books used in the research. Temporary marriage is an alternative which would potentially solve many problems and prevent fornication and that’s one of the main motives that pushed me to undertake this project. It could affect the life of millions of people in both the current and the future generations to come. In order for this to happen, everybody who witnesses these truths is responsible for sharing them and helping spread the truth as the current media is overwhelmed by disinformation about this subject and the word of truth is hardly heard. If you are against the disinformation, do your part to combat falsehood by spreading the truth because the prophet has said : “the purifying of knowledge is teaching it”. Share on your facebook and groups and whatever means you have. I also give permission to re-upload on your own youtube channels if you want to do so, just acknowledge our channel so the viewers can visit and join our forum, ask questions or ask us for the book or DVDs in the future. Topics covered the documentary comprehensively covers the following topics: Index: (1) Muta in the Quran & definitions & background information (2) Who prohibited the two Mutas (2B) Umar's Famous Sermon forbidding the two Mutas (3) Who prohibited the Muta of Hajj (4) Companions who allowed Muta marriage (5) Companions who did Muta marriage (5B) Asmaa The daughter of Abubakr did Muta Marriage (6) Refuting the claims of the prohibition of Muta (6A) Muta Marriage was allowed by the Quraan verse 4:24 (6B) Refuting claims of quranic abrogation of verse 4:24. (6C) Refuting claims of hadeeths abrogating Muta marriage (7) Distortion and tampering of the hadeeths of Muta (8) Sunni invented temporary marriages Misyar Misfar etc & reasons for Muta (8A) Wisdom behind Muta and harms caused by banning it (8B) Sunni invented temporary marriages (8C) Different possible applications of Muta Marriage (9) Common misconceptions about Muta & how to perform Muta marriage (9A) Common misconceptions about Muta (9B) Muta is not Zina according to the Sunni schools of thought (9C) Instructions on how to perform Muta marriage contract Playlist for the full documentary with all the different parts (1 to 9): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_AgagUN7eU&list=PLt7QQKiGYumf-o9deUPDcPRwizAhd47nq&index=1
  4. Salaam alaikum, From what I have read laser hair removal should not affect a woman's fertility, the laser only penetrates the skin at a very shallow depth, it is much too shallow to be anywhere deep enough to impact the reproductive organs. I also read a lot of articles about whether laser hair removal increases the risk of cancer, all the articles I found said that there is no evidence so far that it does, (but of course it could be discovered later to cause an increased risk).
  5. I don't know what you believe regarding this, but every person has to have a possibility in their mind that there is a chance that they may not be on the truth (even if the possibility is very, very small). They have to be open to hearing any new information that comes their way and analysing it, to see if there is any truth in it. If one closes their mind completely to the possibility they might be in error, then if they are really misled they have no chance of discovering it, because they will never be open to considering the possibility that they might be wrong. You can see for example on some sunni forums for example (and in all religious groups), there are some people that are 100% convinced that they are on true guidance and do not want to hear any other information. They do not even acknowledge that there is a possibility that they are misguided, so they will never try to find out if they are. We have to protect ourselves from the possibility of being misled, by always being open minded and always trying to search for the truth. I believe telling others to not study other religions and to follow a particular religion is wrong. I think it is better to tell people to think and to always search for the truth, because even if we are on misguidance we are providing others with a formula that if they apply correctly has the potential to lead them to the truth.
  6. Salaam alaikum, How can you know if you have the 'best' religion, if you do not study all the other religions and compare? My father told me to not read the Quran (to throw it away or burn it or something like that), he said that every person should stay in the religion they were born in. The majority of the people in different religions say that their religion is right and say not to study other religions. If I had followed this ideaology, I would never have studied and reached to the conclusion that Islam is closest to the truth (from what I have studied so far). Every religion (from buddhism, christianity, islam to juddaism) all warn that if you do not believe in them and follow their laws, that you will receive severe punishment in the next life. Any logical person that cares about their own safety and happiness would want to avoid severe punishment (that could be everlasting and worse than anything imaginable in this world). So any logical person would want to study all the religions to see which one is closest to the truth, to avoid major suffering. As for the main question, I would really love to use the month to do an intensive study of Arabic, and then at the end of the month keep increasing my Arabic by starting to talk to my children in Arabic for a few hours everyday (with the help of a very good Arabic dictionary inshallah).
  7. ^ Salaam alaikum, I think that depends on your definition of 'decent'. I would not consider a man decent, if he refuses to marry a girl who had good religion and manners just because she married before (and she didn't have a bad reason for leaving the first husband). I would consider such a man a loser, because he is losing the chance to have a spouse who could lead him and his children closer to Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. Anyway, there are very few men (and women) who I would consider to be decent in this day and age. But because the girl is placing her future and her children's future in the hands of the man, then she should make the required effort and filter out all the bad people and seek to find someone who is truely decent.
  8. Salaam alaikum, 1. The haddith mentions the word marriage (which doesn’t specify permanent or temporary marriage), so I would not cancel out the possibility that it could also apply to temporary marriage. This haddith is giving the general rule for marriage selection, however in every situation one needs to consider whether any secondary Islamic rules apply, which may have an effect on what is the preferred decision to make in that situation. For example: - There is a rule that it is makrooh to do temporary marriage with virgins, so one would need to study whether the benefit of this marriage would outweigh the harm in it. - There is another general Islamic rule that one should do what will bring them closer to Allah (swt) and keep away what will take them further away from Allah سبحانه وتعالى. So the girl would need to study what she would gain from this marriage. For example, the benefit in marrying someone who had a lot of knowledge for a few years (and learning from him), may exceed the harm that would come from the separation (if the life circumstances did not allow the two to marry permanently, and she could not find someone else suitable to marry permanently). But in a different example, if a girl married a man for a week, the harm from the separation would most likely outweigh the benefits of the time together. - There is another rule that if one is afraid of falling into sin due to not being married, then they must marry. So if the girl can not find anyone suitable to marry permanently, then the benefit of marrying the man temporarily would outweigh the harm that would come from it. 2. I think in the case of a man proposing temporary marriage only to a woman (without the aim of permanent marriage for the future), she needs to study the reasons why he is doing this. If there are genuine life circumstances that prevent the couple from being able to marry permanently in the future (which is rare), then the marriage is worth considering, (if greater benefit than harm would come from it). But if there are no genuine life circumstances that would prevent the couple from marrying permanently in the future, then this would indicate to me that there is a high possibility that there is a problem with the man (who only wants to take a virgin girl in temporary marriage and thinks there is a big chance he will leave her). And there is most likely a problem with his deen and akhlaq, because he is willing to be a waster (which Allah condemns in the Quran). If he is willing to be a waster this would show me that this haddith no longer applies to him, and the girl is no longer recommended to marry him because there is a problem with his deen/akhlaq. If pleasing Allah (swt) were really important to him then should aim to keep the girl after making her attached to him, he would be a waster if he is willing to discard the girl when he could have had a future with her. If the girl is good, there is nothing wrong with a couple deciding to start their marriage life in a temporary contract (because the conditions are better for them), but they should enter temporary with an aim for permanent marriage in the future. If the girl is bad and does not want to change, of course this is a different scenario, but if the girl is good there is no reason why any Muslim man should not try to keep her. 3. You say that some of the reasons that you prefer temporary marriage to permanent are that you are afraid of the risk of growing apart from your spouse due to changing values, personalities, etc. It seems however that you do want to have a permanent marriage some time in the future, (because you mentioned the idea of having children, when you said your co-wives could help looking after the children). So the problem I see is that the reasons you are apprehensive about permanent marriage will not go away in the future on their own, you will need to confront these ideas either now or in the future in order to make your apprehension disappear. I believe it is better for you to confront these ideas now, because if you leave it to later, you may end up needlessly going through the hurt of the separation after temporary marriage (when you could have been enjoying your life with your permanent husband). You may also have other regrets due to delaying permanent marriage, for example the best years of fertility are in the late teens to early twenties (so if you can only start trying for children later in your fertile years, you may regret this lost opportunity if you later find it hard to conceive the number of children that you desire). The way for you to confront the fears you have about the big chances of the spouses growing apart, is to realise that this growing apart can be mostly avoided if one conducts a proper spouse selection process and chooses someone who displays stable and good characteristics and objectives (as mentioned in the spouse selection haddith). For example if one knows how to identify a person whose objective in life strongly appears to be to please Allah, then that person will most likely not suddenly change in their objectives because they have a true fear of the consequences of disobeying Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Of course this depends on both of the people sincerely desiring to be closer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى. If they are motivated by this objective then it is highly unlikely that either would move away from this objective. If people have other objectives in life, they will only stay interested in one another while their objectives remain compatible. And the truth is that if their objective is not obeying Allah سبحانه وتعالى, then they will have much bigger problems to worry about in life than just having a failed marriage and failed family life! The key is to make sure you are happy with your own religion and objectives in life, and then to learn how to identify good religion and behaviour in others (as Islam recommends). Then inshallah the permanent marriage that you choose to enter would lead to a stable and fulfilling future, marriage and family life for you and your children.
  9. Salaam alaikum brother, I disagree with most of what has been said to you in this thread, unfortunately I don’t have enough time now to go through everything here and individually address each thing that I believe is wrong. But I would like to address some of the points, and tell you the positives and negatives that I see. - I think it is very good that you are prepared to be honest with yourself and acknowledge what your reality is regarding your own needs, despite the absolute deamonisation that comes from society when a man admits that he needs more than one woman. It is still impossible for the majority of the Muslims to think that perhaps many of the men may actually have a need for more than one wife, even when they see the statistics in the false monogamy culture of the ‘west’, that say that 50-70% of the married men will have an affair (and 70% of the wives will never know about it). They always say the man saying he needs another wife must be lying to himself and that it is a lie that he needs another wife, and it is just his desire that he is chasing. For most of the ‘muslims’ it is a completely foreign idea, that Allah (swt) has actually put this need in many of the men for a reason and that this need is part of a wider system created by Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Despite knowing that Allah (swt) is the creator of all the needs and despite seeing how widespread this need is, most muslims would still not consider that this need is actually a positive and necessary thing. If they stopped to consider (based on how widespread this need is) that Allah (swt) may have actually created this need for a reason, then perhaps they would see the necessity of this need for the functioning of Allah’s system, such as seeing that this need is necessary to push the men to go and find the women without spouses and marry them and look after them and works to ensure that no woman would be left without a spouse. In saying this, even if it is a man's desire rather than his need that is making him want another wife, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact Islam says it is a good thing for him to go and marry another wife, as multiple marriage and temporary marriage are both mustahab. So why should a Muslim be advised to not perform the mustahab? And why is it a bad thing for a Muslim to desire what is mustahab? - The reasons you have mentioned for wanting another woman, are actually very common and not rare as many have stated. For example, many men admit in surveys to feeling neglected during different stages of pregnancy and after the baby is born, and one of the most common times for affairs to occur is when the wife is pregnant or just after she gives birth (which shows that these conditions often create a need in a man for another wife). When one studies the conditions of life that the woman goes through during pregnancy and in the newborn stage, it is completely understandable to see how having intimacy during those times would be a much greater hardship for her than it would have been before these events and how a man would not wish to burden his wife by asking for intimacy at these times (which would not be very fulfilling for either party when they see that one side is uncomfortable). For example, during pregnancy, it is very difficult for many couples to be able to have an intimate life together, the wife may be suffering from bad morning sickness, fatigue and various forms of pain and other conditions during different stages of the pregnancy. It is also difficult after the birth for a long time to be able to have much intimacy, first the wife is recovering from the trauma of birth and even after this subsides she will still most likely be suffering from high sleep deprivation for a long time until the baby is much older and settles into a stable sleep routine. - Another point I greatly disagree with (that has been mentioned by some here), is that a man wouldn’t need to marry another wife to keep him from falling into sin, because other men have spent many years unmarried and have not committed sins, even though they had no wife (so this proves you don’t need another wife to abstain from sin). To start with, they do not know for sure if any of these men have or have not committed sins due to not being married. The majority of the people are not going to admit to embarrassing sins they have committed publicly. No one can be sure if these men have fallen into sins such as perving on women, flirting without intention of marriage, pornography, masturbation or fornication. Even if there are some cases of men that have remained unmarried for a long time and haven’t committed any sins during that time, this is not a proof that every man could avoid committing sins while being unmarried. There is much more evidence of cases of men falling into sin due to lack of marriage, and these cases prove that some men will fall into sin without marriage (just see how many topics have been started in this forum by men saying they can’t stop themselves from sinning). So it is wrong to say to any man that he doesn’t have a need for marriage, because there is evidence that many other men have needed marriage and have fallen into sins due to not being married. Allah has prescribed an easy solution for men who are afraid of falling into sin (due to not being married or needing another marriage), to go and get married. Even without having a need, marriage is mustahab regardless. So why should we discourage a man from using a solution that is prescribed by Allah. - I think it is very good that you have said the most important thing is for you not to commit sins and that you will do what you need to do regardless of the opinion of the people (that only Allah’s (swt) opinion is important). It is a positive thing that you have said that you want to do mutah rather than fall into sin, and you have said that you will not lie (which is committing a sin) in the process of doing another necessary deed. - What I don’t agree with is that you have said it is recommended in Islam to keep the temporary marriage secret. This is against what I have heard from the Islamic sources, that say actually it is mustahab to announce marriage. Of course it is not wajib to announce the marriage and there are situations where it is better to not announce (for example in a situation where you might be jailed or killed). But if the harm of not announcing the marriage outweighs the benefit of keeping it a secret (which it does in the majority of the cases), then the marriage should be announced not kept secret. - Whether you would announce that you are marrying again or not, I think depends on what your true objectives in life are. If you want to try to please Allah and guide your family and the rest of society closer towards Allah, then you would try to help fix the society and stand against the evil in the society and publicly promote the solutions that Allah (swt) has provided for the problems you are witnessing in the society, rather than keeping marriage a secret and only being worried about your own outcome. - If you keep your desire to marry again a secret from your wife, you would be stopping yourself from falling into some sins, but what about your wife? If you think there is a possibility that your wife is against the practice of the lawful things of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, it means she has a major problem that could lead her to the hell fire. If you really love her and want her welfare, you would try to help and change her and guide her towards the truth. You should at least ask her how she feels about temporary marriage and polygyny (and other lawful things), and you should use any method to try to change her mind if her ideas are against what Allah (swt) has decreed as good. You are required to try to correct her wrong ideas, as part of your duty to do amr bil maroof wa nahi anil munkar (enjoining the good and forbidding the evil). You should tell her that you feel you are going into sin if you do not do marry again, and see how she reacts, does she care more about her own jealousy than preventing you from sin? If so this is not a true love, this is a selfish love that is not concerned with the well being of others. - The other things you have to be aware of with secret marriages is to avoid other sins. Obviously you can’t lie (as you have mentioned), so you have to be able to be confident in refusing to answer a question that someone asks in order to try to pin you down, and make you reveal information you do not want to reveal. For example you can’t lie when answering the question ‘where have you been?’, you have to be confident enough to say that it is not necessary for you to explain and justify your whereabouts to others when it does not concern them. Another sin you might have to avoid is the sin of wasting. You may find women to marry who are happy to leave things as being temporary, but if you marry someone who is good or becomes good and she wants to stay with you and have a future, you must not commit the sin of wasting and you must make this marriage public, so that she is free to have a comfortable future and children with you. You have to be prepared for this scenario, even if it means that your permanent wife will leave you. If you are ready to accept that you will keep whoever is good and wants to stay with you, and allow whoever is bad and wants to leave you, to leave. Then you will not fall into this sin. - If there was not a major problem in society of the majority of the people rejecting the lawful of Allah (swt) in performing temporary and multiple marriage, then I would say there are some instances where it would be ok to keep the marriage secret from an evil wife. For example, I believe it is acceptable to keep a marriage secret from this wife if you feel this marriage helps keep you away from sins, and if after talking to the wife and saying you need to marry again or you will fall into sin, she says she doesn’t care and threatens to divorce you and take your children (etc). In this case it would be acceptable to not tell her if you married again, because the harm in telling her about it, would out weigh the good. - This would be acceptable in a situation where the majority of society accepted multiple marriage and temporary marriage and these institutions were being widely promoted by others. But there is a major problem in society, where temporary marriage and multiple marriage are absolutely deamonised, and many people are falling into sin because these options are not being promoted. So in this situation, I believe every person that is able to recognise this problem has a duty to campaign against the prohibition of the lawful and to promote these lawful solutions. And one very important way of promoting these practices includes announcing these types of marriages publicly. - There are so many evils that have occurred in society due to the rejection of the lawful marriage system prescribed by Allah. The loss of the marriage system has resulted in widespread fornication, adultery, spread of homosexuality, prostitution, pornography, child molestation, break up of families, increase in crime due to people lacking, women being unable to ever marry due to lack of suitable males, no one taking care of the poor widows and the orphans, increase in number of illegitimate children, increase in depression, and the criminalisation, harassment and ridicule of those who try to practice these type of marriages and many more corruptions occur because of this. Imam Ali says: ‘Each time one door of halal is closed, 1000 doors of haraam are opened.’ And he says: ‘If Umar had not prohibited temporary marriage, then no one would have committed fornication except the very evil.’ - I believe there is an obligation for any Muslim who sees all this evil that has occurred due to the prohibition of the lawful, to campaign against this prohibition, by doing amr bil maroof wa nahi anil munkar (enjoining the good and forbidding the evil) in society, by practicing and promoting these types of marriages. This type of obligation in Islam is called wajib kifai (sufficiency obligation), it means the action is compulsory on anyone who is able to perform it until sufficient numbers of people have completed the action and the problem has been resolved. Amr bil maroof wa nahi anil munkar (enjoining good and forbidding evil) is one of the ten main branches of Islam (furu al deen), and it is classified as a wajib kifai (sufficiency obligation) (reference minhaj al saliheen, Al Khoui). The method of amr bil maroof according to the Prophet is mentioned in the haddith ‘The Prophet said: “If any of you saw a negative let them change it with their hand, if they can not then with their tongue, and if they can not then at least hate it in their heart and this is the lowest level of faith.”. Abandoning one section of the prescribed marriage system is with no doubt a negative, therefore forbidding the evil becomes a sufficiency obligation, and the best way of forbidding the evil is by the hand, which means by practising it publicly. The second best way is by tongue, which means campaigning, however it would be hypocritical for someone to campaign for something and abandon it themselves in their own life even though they have the ability to do it. The least ideal way is to keep the hate of the negative in one’s heart, and that is only for the situations where campaigning for it would result in major hardship such as fear of death or imprisonment. - You have seen for yourself the negative reaction here that most people have to the idea that a man may need to marry again. This type of negative society reaction is one of the major reasons why people are afraid to practice multiple marriage and temporary marriage publicly. And this lack of practice and promotion of these components of the Islamic marriage system, is a major part of the reason why many people are not even aware that these institutions exist as an option for their needs, and instead these millions of people are falling into many different sins, without knowing that a legal solution for their needs was available to them. For every one of the few public temporary marriages or public polygynous marriages that I have seen being practiced, I have heard of dozens of cases of secret marriages occurring and even more cases of fornication. If all these men in these secret marriages were brave enough to publicly say ‘yes I have married again or yes I have done temporary marriage’, then it would no longer be a ‘strange’ thing for a man to marry again or for people to conduct temporary marriages, and the taboo would be lifted and many people would be saved from sin and brought closer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى. If you have seen the major negatives that have occurred in society due to the lawful of Allah (swt) being prohibited then you have a duty to try to combat all these evils and play your part in doing this, and one of the best ways of doing this is as the Prophet says ‘is by the hand’, by practicing the lawful and by publicly announcing and promoting it. - You are witnessing here that the majority of the people deny that a man may have the need for another wife, yet Allah (swt) has put you in a place where you are a direct witness that this is not true, and you have witnessed that you personally have experienced this need. You can choose to just be concerned about your own outcome and practice temporary marriage secretly, or you can choose to make your marriages public and make a statement that there are men who need to marry more than one, and you can help to lift the taboo that is against this practice and help to open the doors of halal for others that have been closed.
  10. That is right, there are ways of doing things properly. We don't know everything that has happened because we are not witnesses to the situation, but if it is true what kdawn says that he left in this manner without even talking to her about the reasons or even whether he is leaving permanantly or coming back, then this is not right. She also mentioned that he has left bills unpaid, if this is true, this is very incorrect Islamically, he must talk to his wife and arrange for these things to be sorted out.
  11. Salaam alaikum, My understanding of the type of slavery that is permitted in Islam, from what I have read, is as follows: - A person can voluntarily become your slave if they see benefit in doing so. For example becoming a slave of one of the good people, such as the ahl bayt. - The only time a person can be made a slave against their will (from my understanding), is in the case of war. If a people have been attacking the Muslims and later the Muslims defeat them, then there has to be a system of what to do with the people who were attacking them (the prisoners of war). If they are immediately released back into the society on their own, they may continue to attack or cause trouble for the Muslims. And confining these people in prison is not a suitable alternative, unless they are very dangerous criminals. So instead they become ‘slaves’ for a time and live in the households of Muslims, until they show that their character has changed and they are not a threat to society, then Islam dictates they must be released (freed) back into society, unless they want to voluntarily remain as slaves/servants in the households of the Muslims. There are very strict rules on how these slaves must be treated, they are not to be abused and are treated more like family members than as typical servants. The process of enslaving the people who were at war with the Muslims, is done more as a re-habilitation of the people, than to gain personal benefits for the Muslims. They are treated with good akhlaq, so that they can learn that the Muslims are not a threat to them, and this may make them change their attitudes towards the Muslims and decide that they can live with them in harmony rather than in a state of war. - The way in which the majority of modern slavery is done today is against Islam. It is against Islam to force a person who has done no wrong (and is not at war with you) to become a slave against their will. It doesn’t matter if the person doing the enslaving is claiming to be a Muslim, he is going against Islam. Islam encourages us to battle against this corrupted enslavement whatever way we can and use whatever means we have to try to stop it. If we can the best way is to try to prosecute those who make others slaves against their will. This will work in a society that has laws against the enslavement of people by force. But in a society that has no laws against enslaving others against their will, we have to work to educate and change the attitude of the society. But if there is no way to change the attitude of a society and the law of the particular place protects those who enslave others, and there continues to be more and more slaves suffering (and their fate depends on which person purchases them and how their master treats them). Then the next best thing for the Muslims to do is to buy as many slaves as they can, in order to free them from a treacherous life. In Islam it is encouraged to buy slaves so that you can free them. Freeing a slave is one of the best things you can do in Islam. The Islamic conditions of purchasing slaves is that once you take them to live with you and you see good in them (that they are not a threat to society), you offer them their freedom or if they wish to they can voluntarily stay with you (which they may wish to because you can offer them employment and are good to them). You can’t make a slave work for you for free, you have to compensate them for their work as you must with any other person, for example by giving them wages, providing accommodation, food, etc. If you see that the slave is not a harmful person you must offer freedom to them or for them to stay with you voluntarily (if they are happy with the benefits they receive in your household).
  12. Salaam alaikum, On another site I use, the moderators ask sisters (who have 50 posts or more) who want to access the sisters section to ask them for access, and then the moderators grant them access to this private forum (no further passwords needed). If everyone here had to answer a question about their gender when they first register, then they could be granted access to a private brothers or sisters forum once they reached 50 posts and asked a moderator to grant them access. That would not make the sections completely private (so sisters would still need to be aware to not post photos of their self or disclose very private personal maters), but it would change the general atmosphere of these forums and allow users to be a bit more open with one another, socialise a bit more and talk about topics from more of their own genders perspective, as there would not be other users present who are openly of the other gender, who could comment on sisters or brothers answers. Some people may still fake their gender upon registration and try to act like the opposite gender in their posts in order to gain admittance (or just look at it from the account of someone else they know), but then it would not be the problem of the sisters posting. As someone said before the sin would be on the one commiting it. Sort of like a man entering a female toilets, he is not supposed to be there, so it is not the ladies sin if he sees her uncovered doing wudhu. If people want to make topics asking for the opposite genders opinion, such as wanting the brothers opinion about marrying a certain type of girl, they can always open these topics in the social or other appropriate forum and just ask for that specific genders opinion. There are also plenty of forums where brothers and sisters are able to interact and find out each others opinions on different topics. So it would be nice to have somewhere on the forums that we are able to interact between the same gender and be a bit freer and friendlier with each other.
  13. Salaam alaikum sister, I think you are in a very confusing and difficult situation, and can use as much good advice as you can get from others, because you have to make a very serious decision which should not be taken lightly (that is continuing or ending your marriage). So inshallah I am going to continue to give you my advice here, and ignore all the childish comments from those who don't understand that one of the most serious matters such as considering ending a marriage (divorce the halaal most hated by Allah, which should only be used as a last resort) deserves in depth advice, rather than just hastily pronouncing that the man is definitely bad and that you have to leave him, without any of us knowing hardly anything about him. How can anyone know the full story of what is going on for sure, being so far away and not knowing all the details, and not even hearing from his side? The story you are giving so far doesn’t make him look very positive, but unless we spoke to both parties (him and you) and got full explanations, then we can’t judge for sure that his motivation in marriage is to use you and after he receives the residency he will leave you. I prefer to give you the advice and tools you need to make a judgement on him yourself, and tell you about the many different possibilities of what could be going on, because you are the one with the most information about your own case and the best person to judge. I would rather do this than try to make a judgement for you based on the very limited information I have heard from you. For this reason my response to you must be long and in depth, which some shallow people on this topic do not seem to be able to comprehend. Inshallah, Now I will go back to giving you some more advice based on the additional things you have said in this topic: If after really studying his character, you think he is an overall good person, you need to be clear to him that you need clear answers now, so that you can know how to plan your life. In Islam you don’t have to risk a lot, you have the right to know answers of what the other person (whose decisions affect your life) wishes to do with their life, so that you can decide if your goals are compatible or not. You should explain to him how it is much more difficult to get pregnant in your thirties than in your twenties as a woman, and every year you leave it, it will get more and more difficult and your chances of getting pregnant will decrease. You should show him many articles about this, so that he can be informed about this. Maybe he doesn’t really understand how difficult it is to get pregnant in the thirties (and the later you leave it the worse it gets), and he thinks there will be no problem if it is left until later. Don’t forget that you probably wouldn’t want to have just one child, so you need to have your first child soon, because the older you are when having your second and third children, the harder it will be. And you may not be able to have small gaps between children, many women have difficulty falling pregnant during the two years of breastfeeding (and some months after stopping breast feeding), and the gaps may also be a lot larger because it is harder to fall pregnant at an older age. So if you start trying for a child at 33, it may take you 2 years (rather than the average 1 year for younger women), and tehn after falling pregnant at 35, you may not be able to fall pregnant while breastfeeding for two years, so you may only be able to start trying to have your second child at 37 (which will be very difficult to fall pregnant). So the more you leave it, the harder it will become to fall pregnant and have your desired number of children. Here are some examples of articles you can read to get more information about how your age affects your fertility: http://www.babycente...geandfertility/ http://www.babycente...trying/forties/ http://www.babycente...rying/thirties/ http://www.babycente...rying/twenties/ He has to tell you clearly when you will start trying to have children, and if it is not now, then he has to tell you clearly the reason why he wants to postpone having children, so that you can decide if this reason is really something serious and worth risking more of your final years of reasonable fertility. You have to be clear to him that he must answer this question, that answering it is not negotiable. Show him all the research showing how difficult it is to get pregnant in your thirties, and tell him this is why you must know, because the reason has to be serious for you to risk losing what may be your last good years of having a chance to get pregnant (or losing your chance to have a second, third, fourth child, if that is what you desire). If he does not want to give you an answer, which is your right to know, after you give him all the evidence that your chance of having a child or the number of children you want is being put at a very big risk. Then you have to know that this is a very bad sign in him, he is being very selfish and not caring about destroying your rights to experience motherhood and not caring about hurting another human by playing with their life and their psychological well being. He is being selfish and only caring about his own interests, and if he acts like this it is better to leave, because you are putting your future and the future of your possible children in his hands and he may hurt you badly in the future by making decisions that abuse your rights because he has selfish interests. He has to know playing with peoples lives is not an acceptable thing in Islam, and if he wants to do something which is against the normal implied conditions of a marriage contract (i.e. postponing having children), he needs to justify this with logical reasons to you, so that you can choose to agree or disagree to something which is outside of the normal marriage contract, which is your right. You need to make it clear to him, that if he does not take your concerns seriously and give you proper answers, that you need to leave him. Because he has to understand that you are serious about your concerns and if they remain not addressed that you will not continue to put up with this transgression (oppression) on you. In Islam we have a duty to stand up against any oppression (even against ourselves) because we have to act to reduce the amount of oppression in the world. So if he is not answering your legitimate questions, that require proper answers, then he is playing with your life, causing you to risk losing your legitimate God given rights and this is oppressing you. Even if he does answer your questions satisfactorily, and he does agree to start trying to have children with you in the near future, I still recommend you still study his character thoroughly and be sure he is an overall good person, because you are placing your future and the future of your children in his hands. So you want to be sure that he is a person who seeks to obey Allah, which will mean that he is someone you can trust to not hurt you or your future children. Even if he agrees to have children now, there is still a possibility that he could be willing to leave you with children after he gets the residency, some people are that bad. So you need to judge him correctly. Also you mentioned you did not have residency when you first met and he married you anyway, this is a good sign that the marriage was genuine, (more than if you had residency at the time), but there is still a possibility that he only wanted to be in the marriage for a short time (while he is in this country), and was thinking to finish it once he wanted to go back to his own country. But then you got the residency, so maybe he decided to stay with you a bit longer until he also got it (and for this reason not have children with you, so that it would be easier for him to leave you later). However, he could also genuinely want to be with you forever and want to have children with you, so you really need to study overall what sort of person he is.
  14. I'm his wife, and I am not just asking for the sake of this incident, but so that other members including myself will understand what the actual rules are and we will not end up wasting our time writing posts that will just be deleted or be attacked for writing in forums that we thought we were allowed to write in.
  15. Salaam alaikum, Could you please let us know if there is a new rule that brothers can not post in the sisters forum, and sisters can not post in the brothers forum, even if the topic does not specify 'sisters only' or 'brothers only' in the title or in the first post. This topic did not say sisters only in the title or in the first post. All those posts came at the same time and alimohamad typed it before reading your post about disallowing men in this thread. Please let us know the new rules in these forums, because people don't want to waste their type typing out content that is just going to be deleted.
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