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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Sylvia’s Voice Your ghost-voice lingers in these pages. “I am. I am. I am.” Today, the stubborn heart rages. Determined to die, determined to live, But here, in these pages, caught in the best element. Not living, not dead, but simply “am.” “I am. I am. I am.” The voice as prophetic as it was when it began. Playing at the strings of a beating heart, determined to die But determined to live Within these ink stained pages. “I am. I am. I am.” You are not dead as long as your voice is alive. And this temporarily beating heart survives Within the voice of your pages. You are. You are. You are.
  2. Well, in this context, you have to understanding what giving and rejecting gifts means in different cultures. In Iraq, giving a gift to a non-mahram person of the opposite sex means you like them. Accepting a gift from a non mahram member of the opposite sex means you are definitely interested. Rejecting a gift and ignoring that person means you are not interested. Nevertheless, Iraqi guys tend to be extremely persistent. I wasn't playing hard to get. You're probably right in that some guys need verbal clarification because they don't understand body language and gestures that show you're not interested. I don't understand why you are obstinately clinging to this argument. I've accepted gifts from non-mahrams and had it not mean anything. It all depends on the person. I've also accepted gifts from someone who I thought might be a potential marriage partner. That doesn't mean I play hard to get. And I'm not trying to create a demeaning caricature of males. My interactions with males all depends on the individual person and what sort of connection I feel with him. You are taking my words and twisting them to mean something that isn't true. You don't know me. You're just reading my posts on a public forum and making unfair judgments. Just because you or someone else misinterpreted my actions to mean something else, doesn't make it true. And you're clustering all Muslim women into one generalized category. Please, stop.
  3. Actually he's 2 years younger than me so he was more like a school boy with a really bad crush.
  4. Since you didn't do anything intentionally wrong, I would just accept the compliment and move on with my life lol
  5. I did gracefully reject him. If you go back and reread my post you'll see that HE was the one who wasn't deterred by my graceful rejection, or even my rude rejection. Actually that anecdote pretty much defines the nature of most (not ALL) native Iraqi boys. From my experience, guys in the U.S. will actually take the hint once you gracefully reject them. I have never gotten upset, angry or offended by being hit on because I'm a hijabi. Actually, deep down I think it is flattering, but I don't encourage it nor do I invite that kind of attention, and I have never actually been rude to anyone who has shown that kind of interest. I've never cried "RAPE" or ran to my daddy because a man told me I was beautiful, and I've never gotten upset over a bag of chips full of non-existent implications lol. stargirl & polymath, you are both overreacting. You are making a big deal out of nothing. L
  6. You are blowing it out of proportion. Either he was just being nice or he liked you, neither of which was your fault. The rules are, dress modestly and keep your gaze down. Whatever happens that is out of your control is not your fault. I have had food and other gifts forced upon me. Last year, my cousin in Iraq tried to give me a small stained glass mural as a gift. I said, "No thank you. No really, I don't want it. 'NO THANK YOU!" He backed off. I kept my distance from him, leaving the room if he tried to approach me and it was just he and I, and making sure I was in the company of my uncles when I had to be around him. Then a few weeks later, a cotton candy truck drove through the neighborhood of my uncles house, and my cousin offered to buy me some. I said, VERBATIM: "No thank you. No really, I don't want any. ALI, I DON'T WANT ANY!!!" He ran outside like the roadrunner and bought five bags of cotton candy for me. I just gaped at him when he threw them down at my feet. I ended up giving all the cotton candy away to the little kids, in front of him. Alas, some guys just can't take the hint. And sometimes it isn't your fault.
  7. Aqua

    She & I

    Here is the audio recording of me reading this poem: http://planetmoderan.net/mp3/mother.mp3
  8. Aqua

    She & I

    I'm a fairly new poet, abdabd. I haven't written a lot. I posted a thread in the sister's forum of another poem I wrote a few weeks ago: http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235018846-the-master-piece/ It's called The MASTER Piece. Depending on how you receive this poem, it might be difficult to read. It's a visual poem and I played around with structure, different font sizes, punctuation and gray scale. Don't approach it with the intention of trying to understand everything. I'd suggest just trying to embrace the imagery and let whatever ideas that come to your mind paint the poem's meaning for you. She & I - since you asked for a commentary, I actually changed the title of this poem later to "Mother." That should help unravel some of the metaphors in the poem.
  9. Aqua

    She & I

    I have an audio recording of me performing this poem, if you want to hear it.
  10. Aqua

    She & I

    Thank you, abdabd.
  11. Thank you star girl, and gypsy. The thing is retaliating with words doesn't get me anywhere with her. Like I said she is the kind of person who takes whatever you say and twists the meaning to use it against you. Verbal manipulation is one of her strong traits. And indifference to others' feelings. Everyone has the same problem with her, so I know its not just me who refuses to get into an argument with an unreasonable person. I think it was Imam Ali (AS) who said, "The best response to a fool is silence." Please correct me if I am mistaken. But this is the idea that I try to follow. The thing is, it's hard to deal with her on an internal level, as she has the power to get under my skin. I don't know if I'm unconsciously giving her that power.
  12. member always told me thar ur someone of a good nature and its true !! lool thanks for accepting my friend request

    1. Aqua


      Thank you and you're welcome. :)

  13. True, but the cultural hegemony still has some presence. In regards to this specific topic, I mentioned to my mom a while ago that I wanted to get married in front of my father and she kind of "shushed" me and pointed in my dad's direction as if we were in the presence of a cop. I asked her why it was bad to say that in front of my dad, and she said it was "3ab" or "not proper." Let's be honest, once you say that you want to get married, you are basically admitting you want to have sex, and it is not proper to say "I want to have sex" to your parents, and I think (for some Arab parents at least) saying, "I want to get married," is the equivalent of saying, "I want to have sex." Therefore, it is expected and not "3ab" for men to go to their parents and tell them that they want to get married, but it is not proper for a woman to tell her dad she wants to get married. Stupid logic.
  14. I really appreciate your honesty here. :) I'm not denying the fact that masturbation is a BIG sin, nor am I condoning it. But I do think that a lot of women do it and don't answer honestly when they are asked because they are afraid of being judged, ridiculed or deemed wanton or promiscuous. That's why (from what I have observed) a lot of Muslim women don't give voice to their desires, and in some Arab cultures it is considered "3ab" or "shameful" for women to even mention that they want to get married to their families because they are not supposed to have or express that kind of desire. Thus, Muslim women are often labeled as "frigid" or "prudish" because they have to preserve their modesty - which is GOOD thing - but this label is seriously unfair, and I think it comes from the fact that Western society is so open (disgustingly so) about sex that a lot of men tend to compare devout Muslim women with those sexually open and promiscuous women. So, on the one hand, if we ever show that we have any amount of desire of the opposite sex, we are called promiscuous, immodest, licentious, and then on the other hand, we are called "frigid" and "prudish" - which, forgive me if I am mistaken, I perceive as something that prevents a lot of Muslim men from wanting to marry. Do you think this is a fair assessment? What is the fine line that we are supposed to tread? Is it our fault? Or is it the fault of stereotypes and judgments that people attach to us?
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