AspiringToBeShia

Salam. I’m being forced to have a haram walima. The walima will not be partitioned or segregated and this is a obviously a big issue. I’m the groom and I’m feeling trapped. On the one hand, the right thing to do is not attend but on the other hand I will be cutting off my parents and obviously any family we’ve invited. My wife is on my side obviously but she has decided to be quiet now as she does not want anymore issues. I got into a fight with my parents over this and here I am on the night of qadr feeling like none of my amaal mean anything because I’m upset with them. I’m trying very hard to forgive them but how can I when I’m being forced into a haram situation. It would be one thing if they did something in the past but this is something they’re planning to do. The whole idea of segregating by gender is so “strange” to them since all Pakistani weddings are usually mixed. It’s also about saving face for all the guests. I feel I can’t do anything. How do I cope? Will I be liable on the day of judgment for being part of this? Do I continue to fight this or shut up so my family can have “peace”? I wish I had access to a maulana for this issue but I have to resort to this forum.

Salamun Alaykum, I am trying to make a simple android application (which will be free) that will show people how to pray. However, I need pictures that are copyright/royalty free. If anyone knows a source (is willing to draw them for me) it would be great. LOTS OF SAWAB FOR YOU! Thank you

Hold on while I wear my wahabbi mask ***WEARS MASK*** Brother! This is Bidah Bidah Shirk! This thread is bidah! Your writing is bidah! Your internet is also bidah! SHIRK!!! ****DONE**** But seriously though depending on how smart the wahabbi is. He can just read a few words on these forums, become familiar with the Shia faith and then just ACT like a muslim. They do slip up though.

I personally have this problem as well. Sometimes, I will be praying in the Masjid or reading Quran/Dua and that thought of Riya comes into my mind while I have started the act. I try my best to focus on the pleasure of Allah (s.w.t) but sometimes it is difficult to ignore the presence of other people. May Allah (s w.t.) grant us sincerity in all our acts. Thank you for the topic, brother.

Unless you're embracing monasticism, I don't think such a dwelling would be suitable.

The above is the perfect solution to so many of the communities problems. Of course one must stipulate in the mutaa contract that there will be no sex. However, the stupidity and ignorance of people makes the above solution very hard to implement.

Salam @Abu Hadi: I agree with what you are saying except this statement: "The purpose of this world is not to reward or punish (that is the purpose of the next world)." I thought we are also tested in this world and punished/rewarded in this world. I would much rather get my punishment in this world than the next. Can you please clarify? Thank you =).

Salam, Well of course the questions are meant to be asked after that casual sort of introduction. Lol no on is going to go into a meeting like that and start an interrogation. But also note that it can't be TOO casual (to the point where they start flirting or something). Then the meeting becomes haram. Perhaps I used the wrong term (business). Honestly though, I would rather have 10 awkward minutes of question/answer than 10 years of a bad marriage. These questions would of course require each party to be honest but it would serve the purpose of presenting the expectations of both sides. Often the reason a marriage fails is because the spouses have different expectations of each other. For example, if you marry a religious guy with a very secularish girl, it is not going to end well. A person should be married with someone who is of the similar spiritual character so that as the couple grows and moves towards Allah (s.w.t) they move at the same pace inshAllah and they don't have friction in those kinds of matters. Of course there is has to be tolerance and some patience between each spouse but these two things have their limits in people. Anyways, I agree with you to a certain extent about being casual and as always the generic answer is "it differs from case to case" and more often culture to culture. Thank you and I hope to hear more from people about this topic.

Thank you. I hope Allah (s.w.t) accepts my prayer.... Without salat, EVERYTHING I do has no value...

The best advice I can give you and this is realistic advice. I personally know of a few cases where both the guy and the girl were religious and yet somehow things didn't work out. IF you get to the point that you are allowed to talk to the girl and your and her family are serious then I suggest making up a list of questions for the girls. The meeting should be like a business meeting.

Salamun Alaykum, So me and my family were going for a picnic somewhere. I was unaware how far it would be and so I only realized DURING the journey that it would definitely be more than 8 farsakh (meaning Qasr). However, now looking at the rules of Ayatullah Sistani (whose Taqlid I am in), it says: "The second condition is that the traveller should intend at the time of the commencement of the journey, to cover a distance of 8 farsakh. If he travels up to a point which is less than 8 farsakh away, and after reaching there decides to go further, and the two distances, when combined total 8 farsakh, he should offer full prayers. " I wasn't sure at the time so I offered Qasr (Zhor/Asr) prayers. When I got home, (it was still before sunset) I did full Zohr/Asr. Can someone explain if what I did was wrong? Do I still need to Qadha?? Thank you.

Nah probably just a 20-30min ride.

Salamun Alaykum, Tell me what you guys think. Can it be done? Alternatively I could just bike before imsaak or after mahrib/isha (as in after breaking my fast). Thanks, AspiringToBeShia

There are probably hundreds of posts like these on Shiachat already. Next time, you should use the search function. It doesn't matter what my opinion (or for that matter ANY average person here on Shiachat). You should refer to a knowledgeable person like a learned scholar or MORE preferably (if you are not doing ihtiyat) referring to your Marja-e-Taqleed. For example if you are under the taqleed of Ayatullah Sistani (r.a.) then the following ruling should answer your question: "Question : Many questions are asked concerning permissible and forbidden music. Is it correct to say that the music that arouses sexual, lustful urges and promotes unstable and degrading behaviour is the forbidden one? And is it correct to say that the music that soothes the nerves or causes relaxation, the music that forms the background of a scene in a movie to increase the effect of the scene on the viewers, the music that is used for physical exercise during workouts, the music that dramatizes a particular scene by its tune, or the one that arouses the zeal [in soldiers] is the permissible one? Answer : Forbidden music is the music that is suitable for entertainment and amusement gatherings, even if it does not arouse sexual temptations. Permissible music is the music that is not suitable for such gatherings, even if it does not soothe the nerves like the martial music and that played at funerals." From Sistani.org

Madhab/sect whats the difference...There are four subdivisions WITHIN Sunni Islam. If that is not a sect, I don't what you would call it. The illusion of unity among the Ahle Sunna has clearly blinded some people. The true Islam is the Islam taught to us by the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) and his Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). Not the "Islam" of Abu Bakr and Umar or the "Islam" of the Wahabbis or the Ghulatis. I really feel sorry for my Sunni brothers who hear propaganda advocating and elevating the so-called "Sahabis" and demoting the Ahlul Bayt.