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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Assalam brothers and sisters, I am a 21 year old male living in the United States, not born here but have lived here most of my life. I am studying in a University (science major) and still live with my family. I am not losing my belief due to performing haraam acts, but because I have open my mind. I still confine myself. I have never touched a girl, let alone have a habit of watching the forbidden due to lust/temptation. I have never went to a party in my life, nor listen to music actively. I do not even eat haraam foods, nor have ever eaten them intentionally, i.e. not eating meat outside of home or that which is not considered halal. I am Shia. I have given the Qu'ran one last chance, and have read the English translation WITH tafsir. However, I still do not believe fully. I haven't memorized it but I do know what it teaches. I have read the arabic multiple times. I used to believe until I was a young age at 15 or 16, but I slowly started being more curious, asking more questions, and researching other possibilities. I am now beginning to doubt Islam. Here are some of my doubts, they are very general. - I understand that Islam contains one message and is the word of Allah. However to understand it, must one learn to read, write, and understand Arabic? If Islam applies to all of mankind, why must I learn to speak an entirely different language to understand it's "true" meaning? Why isn't Islam, universal so that everyone can understand it and the message it contains? Why do I doubt this, because many people have told me that in order to understand that Qu'ran and acquire it's true meaning, you must learn Arabic. I can read it, but not understand what is being read. Are English translations/tafsir not proper? - Also if the Qu'ran contains one message why are there many, MANY different interpretations/translations? Everyone tries to either add interpretation in order to "explain" a verse or hadith. If the Qu'ran is meant for everyone and is the only true book, why is interpretation necessary, why is a translation not sufficient enough? If it is a true book why is it not simple enough to understand? I understand that many people do add more or change the wording to the Qu'ran for their own gain or benefit and I have deviated from those sources. My main question is can I learn everything there is about Islam, be a proper Muslim, and believe everything which is written just by reading the translation? If not, please explain why not. Why must we add hadith or other teachings? - If Islam is a peaceful religion, then why is there so much violence allowed or dictated in the Qu'ran? A peaceful religion is not one that allows amputation of thieves if they are caught. This is only one example I have picked out. - Islam dictates that Homosexuality is "unnatural." Or in other terms it is not by nature and therefore condemned. This is one gripe I cannot understand fully. Through actual science, research, and not other pseudoscience or "black magic" it is possible to determine that it is most probably not. Although sexual preference can be a choice, it is also possible that sexual preference may be due to the working of natural causes. Homosexuality has always existed, it can be seen throughout history and thus not due to chemicals or man made environments. Homosexuality is also seen naturally in many animals or living organisms as well. Furthermore, almost every part of you is dictated by a code called DNA. In the DNA there is one part which dictates a Male/Female sexual orientation. This orientation is due to the randomness of the coding. So it is entirely possible that by chance some people have a sexual preference for the same sex. I had the same thinking that homosexuality is a disgusting act and that person is terrible for being homosexual due to his choices, however I then thought what if it's not his choice? It's simple really. Your DNA is you, you did not have the ability to change it. There are other factors such as environment and Psychological which also are out of your control can deem you to be homosexual. So please explain to me did the Qu'ran mean that if Allah (SWT) created you to be homosexual than are you still condemned to hell fire or is he going to make an exception which isn't stated in the Qu'ran? Clearly it says that homosexuality is not the work of Allah (SWT) but the work of will power and self choice. - Is it possible to simply learn the Qu'ran, believe in the Qu'ran, and follow the Qu'ran in Islam without having a proper education or any other morals and ethics? Meaning can I be a proper Muslim just by reading the Qu'ran? If so than why are uneducated people around the world violently protesting? Have they not learned enough through the Qu'ran and it's teachings? To them it was taught that it's okay for what they are doing. Even Muslims around me justified them. Islam alone cannot teach a human being to be peaceful, that's clearly what I have seen. - In the beginning I had a small "hate" or sort of filter that I used to view other people such as Christians, Jews, etc... or better known as "kaffir." Why did I have this and why did I look at those people as if they are not humans? I had a lot of prejudice. I was a good student in Sunday School and was educated properly in Islam. Now I view everyone as equals, no one is different and we are all human beings. I do not say "hey you are christian so you will go burn in hell." I don't even think of this anymore. I look at everyone as equals now, ever since I started deviating. - I believe in gay marriages, I believe in - I had a very closed perspective on the world and real life in general. Now without confining myself to Islam I am highly open minded. Also attaining a higher understanding of the natural world and being educated in science I have learned how my basic understanding of science at at the age of 12-15 allowed me to believe that the Qu'ran is a scientific marvel. However, it is not by any means a marvel. - If the Qu'ran is perfect why are hadiths, interpretations, etc... necessary. If you need to add something to an object which is deemed as "perfect" than that object is not perfect. You can be ignorant and arrogant and believe that it still is, however that one change the fact that it is not. - If the Qu'ran is perfect and is the one and only truth why are there sects and difference in beliefs? It simply does not make any sense. If the word of the Qu'ran was so clear why do people have such conflicting beliefs? The Sunni's say that we are kaffir and say that we perform shirk. The Shia say that Sunnis are kaffir for not believing in the 12 Imams. It simply is not logical. If the Qu'ran was so perfect than we wouldn't need sects and there wouldn't be extremists. - Islam is not peaceful. A peaceful religion is one who is open minded, understanding, as well as constantly kind (meaning not angry). It just doesn't compute or make sense, why will Allah (SWT) give me wrath or become angry with me if I perform an act which he has deemed 'haraam,' if he was peaceful it wouldn't mention this fact at all. A true peaceful religion is those of monks, not Islam. I have experienced a stress myself and have seen what goes on in the world and their root cause is Islam. I'll explain it simply: For months there has been a marriage dispute in my family (not about me). Basically, every single day there would be a loud shouting debate full of rage between my siblings and my parents. Nightly I would listen to their constant anger, frustration, and anxiety. Why? Simply because of Islam. Without Islam, there wouldn't be this stress. Many times in the Qu'ran I have learned that anger in general is haraam, however it says multiple times I can be angry in the Qu'ran. There are way too many exception, rulings, etc... It is not simple. If it was proper, it would be simple to understand what is wrong and what is right. - I do not believe in miracles or dreams at all. It can all be explained through science. - I do not need Islam to live a proper and fulfilling life. Islam does not make people's lives better nor does it solve problems (look at all the current Islamic countries and compare that to a mostly agnostic state such as Norway (considered the most PEACEFUL country). Islam or any other religion causes me to live by a single teaching and that's it. I do not want to look at a world through a specific filter and have prejudice, ignorance, and arrogance. It causes me to be closed minded which I simply cannot become. I want to be a better human being and in order to be one I need to be open minded. I am now completely minded and have even read the Bible and the Torah and looked into other beliefs, etc... Although I understand your beliefs I do not agree that it is actually helping the development of the human race. My motivation, logic, and lifestyle are now simple. Here is quote by Neil deGrasse Tyson, a highly regarded scientist and educator. He probably the most ethical and moral person I know. Here is a quote I sort of live by that changed my belief system: "The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you." In order to further help other people I know that I must involve myself in science and not religion. Religion only interferes with science and causes restrictions and limitations that can potentially improve the lives of others. Thanks.
  2. Ahhhh man. This thread is seriously making me reconsider. But as far as I know there have been no cases in our family of any genetic diseases. I've also personally have never seen or heard parents having genetically diseased children. So I'm going to stick with her, and if she's open to it, get some testing done.
  3. What if my parents say no, but her's are okay with it? My mom has a problem, she doesn't have a problem with the girl but more specifically her dad. Apparently my mom's mom and her dad have a grudge for each other or something and so my mom doesn't want me to have a relationship with her family. Sorry I didn't say this before lol. Nothing is ever easy. My mom didn't mention this before and said I could choose freely, what do I do?
  4. HA, thanks for a good laugh! So it's okay then?
  5. Assalam o Walaikum! I am a male age 22 and recently my parents have been discussing my arranged marriage. They have given me some freedom to search for myself and I have considered a First Cousin. Is there anything wrong with that? Let me explain, her parents are first cousins and so are my parents which means our parents are related to each other as well. Is there anything wrong with this, this is my question? I have heard if the family is too close it can be bad in some cases. Is this true? We have been chatting on the internet a little and we really got to know each other, not taking it too far. We have a lot of similarities :P. I was just wondering if the Shia Chat community could give me some insight on my situation. Thanks! EDIT: She is 20
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